Chapter 1: PREFACE
Now I'm walking on the street, my shadow is mingling with the dark. My hair is scattered in the wind, nothing concerns me. I can feel the pain of my heart while walking quietly. I can't hear any sound other than the rustling of the leaves of the trees. Time has no meaning to me. I cry a lot as the pain of my heart grows stronger. I keep walking quietly and upright. Maybe I'll say if you ask.
'Why?'
I live like the dead with the traces of the past. It started to rain and I'm getting wet. For me, rain was the song of sadness. When my life happily passed, time stopped one day. That day I got lost in emptiness. When I got lost, I found myself in a well. I was left without knowing what to do. Nobody woke me up, nobody wondered or asked.
My name is Kayra. A girl who doesn't like white ... I wasn't someone who loved the wind and loneliness. My living conditions made me like this.I love my dad but not as much as I love my mom. It didn't make me feel like the warmth of my mother's love, my father can never replace my mother. Maybe I should thank my father for keeping me alive so far. But I was selfish.All this was the cause of my unknown disease. I can say that I am tired of living as a mental patient now. I love the darkness.
Nine years ago, I lost two people I loved very much in a single day. I was six years old then. I remember very well that damn day. Their death was like a death polluting white. While my mother hung the white curtains that she loved so much, I was playing with my toys, unaware of what would happen. Suddenly a scream ... Then the darkness ...
My mother had fallen through the open window trying to hang her beloved white curtains. She was lying on the floor, covered in blood, with the curtains. She wasn't even moving. I went to him. I cried that day and hated the white curtains for the first time. Then I ripped the white curtains and threw them in the trash. Of course, this was not the only reason I did not like white, and the same day I was completely crazy with the death of my grandmother. Moreover, only because of a white tablecloth, the candle on her table was overturned and her house burned as a result. How strange was life, right?
This was the last straw. White took my loved ones away from me. It was white who took their lives. I couldn't accept their death. I had my first trauma that day. I went to the clinic for three years. My treatment was very difficult and I continued my treatment at home after I left the clinic. In the first months, every time I saw white, I was shouting or crying.
After a while I returned to normal, but I'm still full of grudge against white.
We tried to completely remove white from my life, but I couldn't find the way out of him.
I was encountering that damn color everywhere and it was driving me crazy. Now I miss my loved ones going far away. It was obvious that the past would never leave my collar. It would never make me smile and make me happy.
Could someone change this when I had no hope? I don't know. I'm just waiting.