Chapter 3: Lily
Dan walked out into the cool morning thoroughly annoyed. Just his luck, he couldn't find a joint. Most dealers usually did their business under the cover of night.
He sighed feeling jittery.
He found a coffee shop and strolled in. His hands trembled in his pockets.
He needed something with a lot of caffeine, fast.
He sat down at the counter.
"Coffee please, black, no sugar."
"Coming right up."
He sighed, the cold was unbelievable.
'You would think a coffee shop would be warmer.'
He heard a soft gasp beside him and he turned to the side.
He was staring into startling green eyes. His own widened.
It was her, the klutz from the shop asking for directions.
'What was she doing there?'
His surprise quickly turned into a frown.
"It's you again, " he said.
Her eyes turned somewhat sad—which surprised him.
She looked to be around his age.
She had long hair and very soft features—all of which he disliked.
"I'm really sorry about this morning, I didn't mean to frighten you, " she tried apologising.
"Frighten me?" he scoffed, "Yeah, right."
Her brows furrowed and she looked away.
"Please accept my sincere apology, " she said as she stood about to leave.
Unexpectedly, he grabbed her hand—shocking her.
"Where do you think you're going?"
Her eyes widened, completely shocked by his rashness.
He sat her back down.
"I'm going home, " she said.
"Not until you apologise properly. You can start by paying for my drink, " he said.
Her eyes widened in complete bewilderment.
"I will do no such thing."
Now, it was his turn to be shocked.
"What did you say to me?"
She removed her wrist from his hold, her eyes showing a glint of boldness.
"I believe I apologised politely to you, " she said.
"So?" he retorted.
"Will sorry soothe my aching head and backside?"
Her eyes widened and then softened.
"I'm really sorry about that." She rummaged through her purse and brought out a small balm.
She opened it, scooped a little. She took a look at his left temple and grimaced.
She put a little on the grazed skin, dabbing it gently. Dan's eyes widened, completely caught off guard. His heart hammered violently against his chest.
He searched her face and saw her concentrated on applying it.
He shook his head snapping himself out of it.
He grabbed her hand rather roughly.
She cried out softly in pain.
She looked into his cold hazel eyes, hers frightened.
"Don't you ever touch me again, " he bit out and released her hand.
He walked out of the coffee shop without another word.
She stared after him confused.
"Here's your order miss. Are you okay?" she heard the man behind the counter said.
She turned to him, faking a smile.
"I'm fine, thank you."
Dan went straight back to the bookstore.
"Hey, looked what the cat dragged in, " Philip exclaimed dryly, his dark hair standing out against his bright blue eyes.
"Shut up, " Dan muttered.
"So, have you cooled down or will I need to bring out my fists?"
Philip raised his hands fisted in a boxing stance and started bouncing on his heels like a boxer.
"Pfft, as if, you know I'll knock you out with one punch, " Dan said hanging his coat.
"True, but I have an advantage you don't."
"Yeah, what's that?"
"I have brains, " Philip said.
Dan paused and turned to him, frowning.
"Meaning?"
"I'm not stupid Dan, I know you're using, " Philip said seriously.
"What're you—"
"Don't give me that bullshit Dan."
"Your tremors are a dead giveaway."
Dan looked down at his hands—they were shaking.
He hid them in his pockets.
He hadn't been able to get his coffee.
'Damn it, ' he cursed inwardly. 'That damn girl."
"So?" he muttered.
"So, you have to stop, " Philip said, worry evident in his eyes.
Dan chuckled.
"I'm serious Dan, I've seen really bad shit happen to some close folks, I don't want the same happening to you."
"What're you, my mother now?" Dan scoffed, brows furrowed.
"No, your mother's dead and I'm the only friend you have."
Dan gritted his teeth. He gave Philip a death glare.
"Shut up." He didn't have to rub it in his face.
"What Dan, did I hit a nerve?"
They never touched his mother, it was a sensitive topic for him and Philip knew why.
"You need to stop all that shit or else it's gonna get a lot worse."
Philip threw his hands up flustered.
"You're asthmatic and you smoke, do you want to die?"
Philip was met with the full force of Dan's glare.
"And what if I do?"
Philip's eyes widened, he bit his lip. 'He shouldn't have said that.'
Dan raged on.
"And what if I don't want to stop?" he continued.
There was silence between them for a moment before Philip spoke.
"Well, you might as well start looking for another job because I'm going to tell Elaine."
Dan's brows furrowed. His eyes were hard as they stared right at Philip from across the counter.
"Is that a threat?" Dan's voice was quiet.
"You know I don't threaten." He could see Philip was very serious.
There was silence for a moment.
"You know what, go ahead, I'll be given a reprieve from having to tolerate your miserable ass."
"I won't stay here and be judged by the likes of you, " he bit out bitterly.
"You don't know me." Dan grabbed his coat and stood by the entrance.
"You don't know anything." Dan left the bookshop, out into the cold winter afternoon.
Philip sighed and leaned against the counter and buried his face in his palms.
√√√√
Dan found an empty bench in an abandoned area of an old park that still barely functioned, near the woods. It was where he went to be alone.
It overlooked a deep forest that seemed to spread on forever.
Dan took a drag out of his cigarette. He exhaled tiredly.
His glasses were safely kept by his side—he didn't want to face reality, not yet.
He wanted to remain in his blurry universe just a little while longer.
He hoped Philip didn't tell on him, he couldn't afford to lose his job now.
Elaine had been kind enough to offer him a job. No other place would employ him.
No surprise there since he basically lacked any skill whatsoever and the jobs he'd been offered, he'd been quickly fired in less than a week or two.
Then, it would seem, his vices had been harder to hide and control.
Being a high school drop-out didn't help much.
Philip was the only friend he had and he'd managed to blow that up too.
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs.
His eyes lowered.
His life seemed bleak. He couldn't picture a bright future for himself.
He was all alone.
His brows furrowed, pride setting in.
'He didn't need a friend,' he tried telling himself.
He'd been doing just fine all by himself.
He took another drag from his cigarette. He put it out on the bench and it fell to the floor, amongst several others, some very old, some recent and some relatively new.
He stood and looked up at the sky.
'It was already sunset.' He guessed from the blurry streak of orange in his vision.
He should get home before gets even darker.
He sighed and wore his glasses and made his way out of the old park.
√√√√
Dan laid on his bed wide awake in the middle of the night.
Tom—his cat—was fast asleep beside him.
As he laid silently in the dark room, different kinds of thoughts weaved themselves through his head—not one was the least bit enticing.
He sat up, drew the blanket off him and got out of bed.
He went straight to his fairly large balcony and just stared into the night.
Streetlights flooded the world below, the world he'd always felt alienated from, the world he'd never felt like he belonged in.
He could see the old park he frequently visited.
He saw the large expanse of forest surrounding the rear—where he always went, to be alone.
Depression was a brutal illness, an illness that rotted the mind.
His right hand trembled. He looked down at it.
He never smoked at home, it was a rule he'd made for himself.
He compelled himself never to bring a blunt home.
He didn't really know why he'd done that or why he'd made himself follow it.
He sighed and leaned against the railing, the chilly night breeze blowing his nutmeg-coloured hair into his eyes.
He adjusted his glasses.
He exhaled—he could see his breath.
It was very cold, too cold for him, yet he compelled himself to stay rooted to the spot till the next hour.
By then, he hardly felt anything, he was numb.
He went back to his bed, waking his cat.
He folded his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling.
As he closed his heavy eyelids, thoughts of the previous day's incident filled his mind. His fight with Philip—his only friend.
He sighed softly.
He should apologise, but for what? 'Using?'
He sighed again, this time it came out as a whisper and then as if a 'play' button was hit somewhere, thoughts of the girl—the clumsy, annoying girl—started playing in his head.
It fast-forwarded to the coffee shop, the point she apologised and applied the balm to his temple.
His brows furrowed.
He remembered the concentrated look in her eyes. He opened his eyes.
He slowly brought his hand to his temple.
He winced a little as his hand made contact.
He sighed and dropped his hand, and as he laid unmoving on the bed, he questioned himself.
'Why had he yelled at her?'
'Why had he been so rude to her?'
Finding no rational answers to those questions, he closed his eyes and sighed.
She must have been frightened, she must think he was such a douche.
'But he was.'
He let out a soft breath.
Moments later, he fell asleep, worry heavy on brows and his dreams were no better than his reality.
√√√√
Two months later, Dan found himself wandering through the bookshop in search of a customer's order.
It was a fast day. People loitered in every corner of the bookshop and in their cafe.
It'd been almost fifteen minutes and the man didn't look like the patient kind.
In the past two months, he'd tried reducing the number of blunts he smoked on a daily basis and even stop altogether but apparently, travelling to the moon and back in five minutes was an easier task.
He was an addict and he knew he wouldn't be giving up his vices anytime soon.
But he'd been helping a lot more around the shop and Elaine had been very impressed by his hard work which had led to an unexpected promotion to 'Assistant Shop Manager'.
Although Elaine didn't know about his state—Philip helped keep it that way—he still tried not to take a smoke during breaks.
"Hey man, what're you looking for?" Philip walked to where he was.
Dan chewed the but of the pen he was holding, clearly a little frustrated.
"It's Mr Spencer's order. I can't find it anywhere, " Dan said, a little annoyed.
"Is it the Voyager's series?" Dan nodded.
"Book 3?" Philip queried.
"Yeah, " Dan replied. At that moment, the doorbell chimed signalling the arrival of another customer.
Philip turned to Dan, briefly.
"Go attend to the new customer, I'll find your book." Dan nodded.
"Alright." He made his way to the reception and froze when he saw the person at the door.
His eyes widened a few centimetres.
It was the girl from months ago—the klutz that made him lose his grip and fall.
His hand absentmindedly touched the now faded scar by his left temple.
Her eyes widened as she met his hazel ones and she looked away almost...shyly.
He forced himself to smile. That was how he was expected to greet every customer—with a bright smile.
"Good afternoon, what book would you like to read?" At first, she was surprised, completely lost for words but she recovered quickly and forced a smile of her own.
"I would like the Harry Potter series please, Book four, " she said, her voice quiet.
"Cool choice, " he said.
His eyes met hers and he quickly looked away scratching his head nervously.
"Listen, about the last time..." he started, trying to find the words.
"I don't even know why I did that," he said quietly, clearly embarrassed.
"I'm sorry about all the stuff I said, you didn't deserve that, I'm sorry." he looked at her.
He could see the shock clearly evident in her eyes but she recovered and smiled softly at him.
"It's fine."
"I'm Dan by the way." He looked down at his hands on the counter.
"I'm Lily." She stretched her hand for a mutual handshake.
He first stared at the hand and then at her.
He smiled, his pearly white teeth on display.
He shook her hand—they were incredibly soft like she'd never worked a day in her life.
"Your hand's very soft, " he said as he let go of her hand.
Her eyes widened in surprise and a little blush dusted her cheeks.
His brows lifted when he realised what he'd just said.
'Your hand's very so—'
'Really?'
He wanted to crawl somewhere and just stay there.
He tried hiding his embarrassment by clearing his throat.
"I'll go get your...yeah." Dan left and went to get the book she ordered.
A few minutes later, he returned with her book, wrapped, and gave it to her.
She paid for the book.
He dusted his hands on his pants and looked around nervously.
"Do you wanna like have a drink with me? I'm having my break now, " Dan said, summoning the courage to look her in the eye.
"O-Oh."
"Thank you, but I don't drink."
It was his turn to stutter.
"Of c-course. I k-know that. I meant iced-tea."
He cleared his throat.
"Would you like to have iced-tea with me? It's such a h-hot afternoon, " he corrected, thoroughly frustrated with himself.
Lily smiled at his flustered expression and decided to help him out.
She thought he looked cute. She blushed a little at the thought.
His hazel eyes were very intriguing and they were piercing, and they seemed to look into her very soul.
They showed a hidden intelligence and buried secrets...?
"Okay, " she replied smiling a little at him.
His brows lifted in shock and then they lowered.
He smiled—it was a charming smile.
"I'll grab my coat."
...
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