Chapter 5: 4. ''LEADER''
When they pulled Gece away from me, holding tight to my leg, I felt like an organ was being ripped from my body.
"Let go!" I shouted, trying to free my arms from the person who held me. I started saying reclessly, "If you hurt those children..." but I couldn't finish it. What would I do, would I kill them? This wasn't even possible for me to do while I'm their prisoner.
"What can you do?" Said one of them, read my mind, then, they all laughed at the same time.
This got me so angry that when I spit in the face of the man who stood in front of me and making fun, I was not proud, I was aware that I was being stupid, but I did not regret it. After the man wiped his cheek with the back of his arm, his face grimaced from sulking to the point of sagging, and he hit my right cheek so hard that for a moment I thought I had lost consciousness. He must have hit my ear either, otherwise there was no other reason for it to echo like crazy.
When the blood from my right ear flowed towards my cheek, it confirmed what I thought.
I heard Tan's cries of rebellion from my sturdy ear, but I couldn't quite understand. I was surprised that my body was so thin, if I was getting this way with one hit I could even faint on the second one. We were being pushed out of the woods amid the screams of Gece, but I still hadn't given up, I kept resisting at the risk of being beaten. But it doesn't work at all... They pushed me anyway.
When we got back to where we started, after ten minutes, a bitter sadness filled me.
We couldn't escape.
We were brought in front of our house near the end of the village. They say that the all rivers fall into the sea, so that's what's happend to us. The soldiers were still mocking amongst themselves, talking about how absurd it was try to escape.
I wanted to slap them one by one.
There were three jeeps parked in front of our house. When a senior soldier disembarked from one of the jeeps, the common soldier had already started to explain. "Here," said one of the men who held us. "Commander Dante, we brought the fugitives you wanted." When I looked up, I wasn't surprised by the picture I saw, there could be no other explanation for his betrayal.
Commander Dante was the Rich Man I asked for help.
The soldier holding me, pressed my shoulders to kneel and I heard Tan cursing at him.
"Still, I wouldn't have known you would be so mean." I said, grinning impudently. "Take them to the Leader." He said, ignoring my words. "He would take good care of these freaks." He just started grinning at me as if he was avenging. While I was forced out of the muddy ground where I had collapsed, the sound of Evren's was moaning around and I had nothing to do about it. My mother was also silent and obeyed.
I was not going to do that, I would never submit to this persecution.
We were kneeling in front of another senior soldier - the 'Leader' as they call it- now. Except for Evren, we were all in the same position, even Gece. "Commander Dante directed to you, sir. We caught them in the woods as they ran away." The man, surprised by what the soldier said, shook his head up and down, frowning. "So they were running..." He said. He seemed more self-indulgent.
"We weren't running. We had to turn back stronger to give your lesson." I said with hate.
I was praying he didn't understand my bluff, it wouldn't be cool for me to look like an idiot in his eyes. But when I looked up at the Leader, there was a satisfied smile on his face. "What are you laughing at?" Tan said, voicing the question in my mind. "You think you're brave, but you're stupid. Well, that's kind of funny though." When he said, the common soldiers who were looking for a place to laugh, burst into laughter again. "I would applaud if you weren't holding my hands." Tan said. Having him with me, made me feel good. This was kinda selfish but I couldn't help feel that way.
Leader's lips curled sarcastically as he shook his head up and down again. "Put the women and children separately, give food and water to them. Let these two young people stay with me." Two soldiers saluted and walked away with my mother and the children. "Take care of Gece, Evren and Kayra!" I shouted from behind them. I felt like I was looking at them for the last time as my mother turned around and glanced at me with her teary eyes.
Would they hurt them?
Would they... Kill them?
NO.
I focused on the present moment, I had to. Otherwise, I would look weak and that meant those people would see me as fragile. I could not reveal my weaknesses to them, if I pretended to ignore my family, they would not be able to use my family against me. "Well," I said. "Aren't you going to torture us?"
"No, I liked you." The Leader said. "So I will do worse."
•••
When I was awakened by shaking, there was a metallic taste in my mouth that I could not understand. I was trying to focus on the person who shook me, must have been one of the POST soldiers. "Come on! Are you on a vacation or something?" I tucked my hair that fell in front of my eyes behind my ear and looked at the ugly man who was talking to me.
"Your mouth smells like sewage, now get away from me." When I said, he withdrew without taking his spiteful gaze off me. The metal taste increased when I licked my lips.
I wiped my mouth with my hand and saw it bleeding, so that explained why I tasted metal. I must have bit my lips in my sleep due to stress. Normally I would lament about it but now it wasn't time, "What do you want?" I groaned. I sat up where I was and looked at the soldier. Since yesterday, I had been separated from everyone, finally when they separated Tan from me, I was in despair and fell asleep thinking about all that happened. "The Leader is waiting." Soldier said. His sarcastic expression was gone from his face. "Tell him to take his army from our town and get out of here." I said carelessly. Still, I was re-buttoning my worn navy blue cardigan from which I had untied it's buttons at night and being ready to go.
"He's got the management until he get out, now shut up and come with me."
He talked with a disgusting tone and made me grimace.
I got up after I tied my hair as a messy ponytail. I wondered how was my family and Tan... Was Gece and Kayra scared too much? Did soldiers really give them food and water as the Leader said? I was following the soldier with hundreds of such questions in my mind.
There were a lot of kinds of people on the street we walked. When I looked around, the only thing I can see is was; pain. Everyone was moaning because of hunger or thirst. The illness that some had gotten was taken to an advanced level. Leaning against the corner wall of the street, an old man with deep wounds was scratching his arms madly. If he continued a little longer, the sagging meat of him would be scattered in tatters.
I had a glance with a woman. There was a baby in her arms and she was crying with screams. I could tell that the woman was saying "please" by moving her lips, I didn't know if she was making a sound. Even if she did, I was too far to hear.
Instead of looking around any longer, I dropped my gaze on the road that stretched in front of me. I couldn't change anything by pity on people. If I wanted to change something, I had to actually do it.
And I would.
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