Chapter 3: Chapter Two.
I knew by exiting this plane that day things would be hard. I stood in front of the casket just letting the warm, wet tears fall from my eyes. My Papa is gone and all I had left of my family were memories that flood my mind and make my heart clench.
I felt as if a wave crashed inside my chest and I just broke down at the memories of my Papa teaching me how to bait my first hook. Also, teaching me how to sheer my first sheep.
I placed my hand over my chest as my cousin Savrin held me close. " Amerilynn, I know you have had this bottled in for quite sometime now just let it out. Okay?" He says to me " Don't be afraid."
I am far from afraid to let all of my emotions show at this point. It was well past time to let my Mamma go and now to let my Papa rest in peace as well.
I knew I would never forget them. It still hurt to let them go.
Savrin on the other hand was my first cousin on Papas side of the family. His brother Jarrod's kid. The only cousin I became close to and the only one who was close to Papa. I was glad to see he was not the only cousin I knew that came, but I am sad to see that hardly any of these members, besides Jarrod and his kin, I barely knew.
I sigh as the casket was covered and all members of the family dispersed. The reading had already been done and is the 2nd reason I am here.
Papa not only left me his land, but the cottage I grew up in as well. He knew my painting benefited well here. I enjoyed my time as an art apprentice back in the States. I just couldn't put as much work into my drawing nor my paintings as I once had when I lived on this country side.
I do have to admit I was home sick and I missed the quiet country air that smelled of the wheat or soy beans that littered the farms around me.
The thunder or hum of the tractors plowing their harvest is more peaceful then the sounds of car and traffic. Also, more peaceful then the students that partied and yelled throughout their dorms.
I am overjoyed to be home. Regardless the circumstances.
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As I rode beside my Uncle in his truck on the way home " Lynn, don't forget we are going through this together. I will be only a couple miles away should you need me at any moment. Your Papa would be proud to know you've done so well and come home." He says to me and we go along the gravel road to the cottage. I cringed at the childhood name Papa gave me.
I sigh " Yes, Uncle. I just feel lost. I have not even been able to do any of my paintings and you know how much he loved that." I utter in retort and lie my head back trying to stop the tears that threatened to spill again. I look over at my Uncle to see his tears discernible on his face. I took his hand in mine.
Once upon a Time a few philosophical souls said a family's comfort can ease a grieving soul.
I am most certain it would and I would do that any other time, but right now I just needed time.
More than anything it felt as if that is something I did not have much of...
Time.
I look back out into the distance only to see the animals right outside my window which meant that we had arrived. We came to a stop in front of the old cottage. There was land for miles and all of it my father had left to me. I now had no one to share it with though.
Mamma and I once told stories of once I grew up I would have kids. A farm of my own. Animals to maintain. Talked of the many animals I wanted to own as I was 7 talking of marrying a farmer, much like my Papa, that would lift a cow just to feed his family
Mamma thought that was funny.
As I open the door the smell of hay and soy beans hit my nose. The smell instantly brought back memories of childhood.
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