Chapter 15: Chapter 14 Worry
It has been almost a weeks time since the night of Xera and I went out and my confrontation with Killian. In the past week he has tried to talk to me and spend time with me, however I have avoided him.
I told Elijah that I would speak with him once he could learn to communicate better, only then would I give him a chance to make amends. Though, the attempts he seemed to make only ended up in him yelling or being angry with truly communicating what he was feeling and why.
'How does he ever expect to become a King if cannot communicate with others.' It was a question I have been asking myself since I met him, and the answer seemed far away. As of now it seems as though he has no way of knowing how to communicate other than anger and trying to force things on others without explaining why he wants it.
'That is how most kings are though, all action and no explanation. Sometimes they don't even think things through before they take action, just acting on whims and emotion. Heh, and they call the women of this realm emotional, priceless.'
My thoughts have been wholly consumed by how I am to handle the marriage ahead when I cannot even find a way to communicate with my husband to be. As we know nothing of each other or how to interact I cannot find how I am supposed to follow him into his kingdom and live with him if I know not a single person there and cannot communicate with him.
The days of the wedding draw closer and closer, and as Xera and I plan this momentous day I can't calm my anxieties. Never before was I scared to get married, and even still my worries are of the smallest things.
I worry about the communication and being able to connect, things most brides don't care about or get in a marriage anyway. Yet, knowing how he was raised, sheltered and hidden in the shadows, I haven't been able to shake these worries, not just for my sake but his.
I have had a silly dream of being able to rule as his equal, but knowing how he is controlling I doubt I will ever have any power with him. Though, I am for sure he will never harm me and will protect me in any way he can, which is more than most get.
"JJ," Xera tapped my shoulder, pulling me from my daze. "Come, we need to get the gown fitted now."
"Right," I muttered.
We walked from the dining hall, where we were having lunch to the room that the royal tailor had been set up to work on my wedding dress. The tailor was waiting with the dress in hand to make the adjustments needed for before the big day, he only had a week more to prepare before the wedding would begin its rehearsal.
The wedding itself was in two weeks time, inching closer and closer the more I thought about it.
"JJ-... What is up with you? I know you and you should be all giddy and preparing for the adventure ahead, not sulking." she sighs, concern filling her. "Please talk to me, I am your best friend."
"I am just nervous is all, it is a lot to prepare for." I mumbled, trying to fake a smile the best I could.
"I don't believe you, there is no way this is the normal Jace that I grew up with. The one who would fly as high as she could just for the fun of it, battling every soldier she could to better herself, the selfless girl who saved others in need at every turn." I could hear her heart breaking as her voice trembled and tears welled in her eyes. "When did you stop talking to me?"
I took a deep shaky breath before saying, "It's just this is something neither of us have dealt with before and I don't know how to go about communicating what exactly is wrong."
The tailor cleared his throat before directing me to stand in front of him so he could work while we continued our conversation.
"Does it have to do with why you have been avoiding the Prince?" she questioned.
"Yes, but I can't quite figure out how to solve it and I honestly think this is a problem you can't help me with. It's a matter of my future husband and I cannot understand him." I explained.
"You can't get to know someone or learn anything about them and how to be with them by avoiding them." she chuckled lightly.
The rest of the time we used for gossip, but her words stuck with me and when I left the gown room I made a new decision about how I would interact with Killian. I will no longer avoid him, rather see what ways I can help him learn communication, because as I realized me ignoring him wasn't helping communication in any way.
I was just as much the problem as he was, and I am going to change that. So, I rang for Elijah to come and speak with me.
"My lady," he bowed. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Please set a meeting with Killian for later this evening, he may choose the activity. Just inform him that I would like to speak with him please." I informed Killians personal servant.
"Of course, My Lady, right away." and with those words Elijah was gone.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone