제3장 | I Lay Out All My Reasons
SERIN
Junghee and I rushed towards our classroom after hearing our school bell. The routine we always had to go to our locker before class was thrown of out the window
Fortunately, the teacher hasn't arrived yet. "Oh? Junghee, Serin" I took a glimpse at Chaejin's direction and both headed towards my seat which is placed in front of hers. Jeongmi on the other hand was at the front row near the door
"Good thing Mrs. Nam hasn't arrived yet" I muttered under my breath. Just in time, our homeroom teacher entered with her usual books and meter stick in hand. Makes me wonder what's the use of that meter stick she had when she can't even scold some arrogant guys here in class
"Good morning," she greeted and placed down her things on the teacher's desk, the usual routine we have every day in eight months of hell. "Like I said yesterday, we'll be having a new student" Mrs. Nam started
Everyone seems to be curious who will be transferring school when it's already half of the second quarter
Not gonna lie, I too. But I might have more priorities than knowing who's this stranger is. Because of not really having any interest about the subject, I just took a chance to lower my head n my arms, napping position. Maybe I'll have some small nap after exhausting myself to run minutes ago to not be late
"Please come in,"
Afterwards, I could hear some gasps and some whispers- specifically from the girls. So that means, the new transferee is a guy
I continue to hid my face with my arms and closed my eyes, I'm just not really interested meeting a new person as of now, don't blame me
"Please introduce yourself" I heard Mrs. Nam
"Hello, my name is Kim Taehyung" My eyes jolt in an instant
That voice…
I rose my head from hiding them behind the barriers of my arms. That voice, it belongs to him. The guy I encountered at Chaejin's bookshop. I felt my lower lip unconsciously separate with my upper lip
It's him
He still has that neutral and blank face expression, that could make me wonder if what was behind that poker mask he's wearing and… what he meant about the danger yesterday
"So handsome…"
"Oh my my my, he's so sexy"
"Let's bet, whoever gets to him first"
"Ey, are you so confident?"
"Silence!" Our homeroom teacher scolded everyone, making all of us shut and listen. "As I said yesterday, be nice. Taehyung, you're free to choose wear to sit" she gestured him with her free hand since the other one was holding her meter stick
He looks around, "Anywhere is fine fo- " his sentence cut off when our eyes meet. I felt sudden chills around my system. Is this a bad thing or a good thing?
"Pardon. You're saying…?" Mrs. Nam asked Taehyung. Even thinking about his name making me feel something gushy. He didn't answer Mrs. Nam's questions and walks near to my direction
Or towards my direction
He stopped by to my side and I swear I could feel all those gazes piercing through me. Not to mention, I could already sense what Chaejin and Junghee was thinking as if they were mind-linking me saying: "You better give us tea"
He looks to my right then to my left. Fortunately, I have seatmates. Which mean he couldn't seat next to me
"I want to sit beside her" he told Mrs. Nam
Or he could
I was taken aback at his statement, or more like a demand. His tone and way of speaking can tell that he's indeed demanding. Everyone was, who wouldn't anyway? He just transferred and already demanded a teacher
He still has those blank expression from yesterday
"I'm sorry Taehyung those seats were already taken, there are other availa- "
"I want to sit beside her"
I choke on my saliva
I could already feel the piercing gazes coming from my classmates. And the worse, Junghee's and Chaejin's. I wish I could dive in my own grave right now. The pressure is rising
"Oh…" Mrs. Nam was speechless. I saw her gazes move to this Taehyung then to me. I shook my head at her gesture as if I just heard what she was saying in her head. "Well…" she motions towards my two seatmates. "Juseon, Minghao, one of you can transfer" She said, giving into Taehyung's request
I'm now surrounded with eyes and some murmurs on the background. Can I just disappear for a moment?
"I'll transfer," Juseon spoke and grab his things. Great. I already expected Minghao won't be willingly to change sits since on his right was his crush while I was on his left
Without another word, Taehyung plopped down his bag and his butt on the chair. I bit my lip in stress, I think I should prepare myself after this class
I could feel the intense gazes coming from my classmates and it ia making me shift in my seat, finding a comfortable position
The attention was so uncomfortable
While Mrs. Nam started to do her lecture, I could still feel some gazes coming around piercing through my skin. Can they leave me alone?!
"Take this" I jolt in my seat capturing another group of head turning to my direction. I turn to Taehyung who has his sweater in his hands and held it to me. I could feel some eyes again. This is no good
He lean in put of the blue making me stutter my actions but when he grabs my arms to hold me still, I bit my tongue at the contact
I could feel my heart pounding and I'm afraid it would break a rib
"It's your moon day today, take this for cover" his thick and deep voice echoed around my eardrums— wait, what did he say?
Then it hit me. Some gushy and thick feeling ran across my area
This is the best day ever
"Take this," He places the sweater on my table, maybe thinking that I won't or maybe can't take the sweater from him myself because of shock
Another batch or whispers started to crawl right into my eardrums making me wake up a bit from my mental state. I thought it will arrive next week? How come it arrived earlier at the wrong time?!
Not to mention, Taehyung even look that he doesn't care one bit of what's happening around him and still had his straight face on
I keep my knees and legs together to atleast conceal it a bit. I need to get some pads a soon as possible
Out of the blue, I saw him from the corner of my eye, raising his hand to get the attention of Mrs. Nam. "Yes, Mr. Kim?"
"Can I excuse myself to the restroom?", he asks. "Sure, you may go"
He stood up and plays both hands on his pockets as he walked down across our classroom and went out as Mrs. Nam continues her lecture
I felt someone kicked my chair from behind, and it's obviously Chaejin. "What's with the sweater, huh? And I thought you like Jungkook? You can't leave Junghee and I without some tea at the party"
"Look. Even I didn't know about anything that was happening" It was true though! I was already confused at his words back at the book shop, for the record
"Try telling Junghee that, and she won't believe a single thing"
Heck, I know
"I much would like to ask Ms. Yeon and Ms. Lee to share the class about what you are talking about" A sudden call made Chaejin and I look back at Mrs. Nam who was glaring at us
Great. More attention
Just what I need
We both stayed silent until Mrs. Nam scolded us for chit-chatting while on an ongoing lecture which we apologized to
Soon enough, we went back to where it starts and Mrs. Nam went back on teaching which Chaejin and I are grateful of. A couple of minutes later, Taehyung went back with my classmates darted their gaze at him while he has his eyes on the floor, or maybe nowhere at the distance I must say?
He went back to his seat and motion his hand at me. What?
I raise my eyebrows at him, telling him by my gesture that I don't get it. "Sweater" his bit my inner bottom lip when his deep voice attacked my heart out of the blue and handed him back his sweater
Do I look like a baggage counter to him where he can leave his things and take in back from me?
I stared at him and saw him stuffing someting into the sweater pocket that was sewed at the bottom and center part before giving it back to me
Knitting my eyebrows in question and curiousity, I pulled my hand out to see what he out inside the sweater pocket. I blink feveriously
These were napkin pads
How did he manage to bring these and, where did he get it from?
A small sticky note was attatched on the wrapper, I read in silently to not attract more attention that I should be having today
'Thank me later by accompanying me to lunch'
NARRATIVE
"Class Dismissed" Mrs. Nam announces as her time for lecture is up. Serin was having trouble and was contemplating to stand up now or possibly never due to the fact that she already left a stain
Chaejin was eyeing the new boy that was beside Serin who wasn't standing up too, or maybe he doesn't have any plans to stand up. Junghee went over awkwardly to Chaejin's direction which was near Serin's
The fact that they have no idea what was happening between these two, they became more hesitant and awkward they get. Thinking is should they wait for Serin or leave her with the new guy
"Uhm..." Junghee
"You can leave" Taehyung spoke with his eyes darted to his notes
Junghee was looking at Serin, eyeing her a what's-going-on look. But Serin on the other hand was purely innocent!
Chaejin pulled the younger out of the classroom thinking that it's best to leave the two alone. Judging Taehyung's voice, it was really dark and risky
Back at the classroom, Taehyung stood up and grab the sweater from Serin's hand, but it was not the kind of grab that was forced
"Stand up, no one's here" Taehyung
"Uh... you here?" Serin replied
"You don't need help?" Taehyung ask, still with his poker and indescribable straight face as if he was some kind of robot
An attractive robot though
Serin let out a defeated breath and stood up. Rambling some random ideas that what was happening
She can't be to be blame though, nether Taehyung. But the fact that he just met this guy and demand the teacher on his first day to sit next to her, handed her his sweater, bought her sanitary pads and helping her girl problem is really weird
Taehyung carefully wrapped the sleeves of his sweater around her waist making sure to cover the stain and at the same time to not touch anywhere that'll make her uncomfortable and grab some wet tissues to clean her stain on her seat
He went to the trash bin and throw the dirty tissues and headed back to her direction and grab his bag, Serin on the other hand did exactly the same thing
"What's your next class?" Taehyung asked
"It's my free period" Serin answered. "That's good. You can accompany me to the dean" he replied. Serin widened her eyes at the sudden announcement
"W-What? Why would I accompany you to the dean? A-And I thought, I'm gonna accompany you to lunch..."
Taehyung looked at her with the same expression on his face. Serin left with no choice even though she doesn't know what that face really meant but deep down she knows, she has no choice
"Don't be scared at the Dean" he spoke shortly before walking out. Seeing these, Serin immediately rush bear to his figure but always minding about their distance
Serin wasn't usually a shy type girl, especially when she's with her friends. But the fact that a lot of people were know talking about her walking with the new guy was indeed making her look like a shy type unintentionally, but deep down, she was pacing back and forth in a mental breakdown
Taehyung on the other hand was cold. Still wearing that poker mask of his, but indeed making her question if it is really a mask to hide his true feelings under the surface or it's just not his forte, judging their weird first meeting it might have a high chance that it was the second one
She looks confuse to see Taehyung walk on a different pathway and stop at a restroom. Isn't Taehyung just going to the restroom a while ago during class? Does he have a full bladder that fast?
"Change" Taehyung
"Uh, pardon?" Serin blinked. Taehyung looked at her with the same expression before glancing down then back up to the eye contact
And that hit her. She's so dumb
She headed in the restroom immediately with him waiting outside. You could already mistook them as couples
While inside the cubicle, she was tapping her cheeks repeatedly
One, because she's dumb to forget that she needs to wear pads a-s-a-p and she forgot about it
And two, what did just happen and why did Taehyung was so casual to her as if they were close friends? It will totally have other people misunderstand. But she knows too well, it's already too late
She quickly cleans herself and the cloth underwear with wet tissues before placing the sanitary pad at the top and wore it
Good thing she kept her legs close all the time so it didn't leak that much
She headed back to where Taehyung was waiting. She stumbled slightly seeing some girls secretly taking pictures of him and if she ever walks any closer, she knows that it would lead to a bigger commotion
But then again, it's too late for that
Taehyung turn his head and walk to her figure making the other girls' frown in jealousy. But he doesn't give a single damn on what's in his surroundings
Could be it be because he only cares for one person?
"Let's go" he spoke shortly before walking away with a bothered Serin tailing him to the Dean's office
SERIN
We both arrive at the Dean's office which I am thankful and thankful for
Thankful because other people are afraid of the Dean so they don't come passed by his office
And not thankful for because I am one of those other people
"Uhm, what do you need at the Dean's office?" I asked, "I'll sign in my college field" he replied
I nodded in replied, since we are now at the last level of a high school student, we were being prepared for college with our chosen fields that we signed
Junghee chose the medical field, Chaejin chose the fine arts, while Jungkook and I signed in criminology
"What field are you gonna sign?" I ask in curiosity. "Business" I nodded
This guy must be freaking rich
"Wait here," Taehyung spoke then entered the office, leaving me in the hallway. Though I'm uncomfortable being alone here especially when other students don't have any courage to even atleast passed by here, and I got to say, the silence is creeping me out a little
Too much silence is not really good, you know
I stood there for time being, waiting patiently until Taehyung is done with his business
Ding
I grab my phone from my pocket skirt and push the on button to show my notification
Chaewuu
< Hey, where are you? ]
I unlocked my phone with my thumbprint and replied
[ I'm outside the Dean's office >
< Why are you there? Please don't tell me this has something to do with that new guy ]
[ Then, I won't >
< You've got to be kidding me ]
[ Why did you ask? >
< Well, duh? I'm feeling lonely here ]
[ Where's Junghee? Aren't you with her? >
< She's in physical education class and some seniors were there. Jungkook is also there which means she can't refuse. Say why don't you tell me about you and that new guy, huh? What's up? ]
Just when I was about to reply back, the door opened revealing Taehyung. He stepped out and gave me his usual look, "Who were you texting?"
"It's Chaejin, a friend of mine. I'll just text her that I'll be going now" I said then he nodded
[ I'll tell you later, you'll be going to our dorm anyway. I'll you guys everything. I need to go now, see ya~ >
After pressing the send button, I put my phone back to my skirt pocket before glancing up again to the man before me
Dug dug, dug dug, dug dug
Why do feel my chest tightened. I can't seem to breath properly
"Let's go?"
NARRATIVE
"Uhm..." Serin shifted uncomfortably on her seat. Taehyung took her to the school's library, where it's very quiet and the opposite of being crowded
"Hm?"
"What are we gonna do here?" She asks
"Have fun," She raise her eyebrows and blinks. Have fun. What they were doing is indeed fun. It was the most popular habit of all teenagers all over the globe
Boredom
"I see," she conceals her lips awkwardly. She thought of what to do on her remaining free time. She can't just sit around dying because of boredom. And it's a crime to waste such golden time
An idea lights up her bulb
She leans in cautiously on the table, doing an open and friendly gesture before speaking. "So, about the thing you said at HEA store. Uhm, what do you actually mean about it?" She asks
Taehyung furrowed his eyebrows, "HEA?"
"Happily Ever After, the bookshop" she replied. He lets out a small breath, "I already told you, it's better if you know nothing"
"Atleast you could've told me a small detail, I would understand" she defends and places her right hand on her chest
"Why did you think God forbid Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit from the forbidden tree in the Bible?"
"So, they won't know what is good and bad" she answered
"Exactly" he subtly raises his eyebrows, cracking his stone face into a new form for a second, "It's better if you know nothing"
"But..." she slumps down on her seat, defeated
"Let's not talk about it. Why don't you answer this," This time, he leans his arms and elbows on the flat surface
"Do you like someone?"
SERIN
"S-Sorry, what was that?" I stuttered. Did he just asked me if I like someone so casually?
"No need to repeat myself" he replies. Why is he so cold?
"W-Well... yeah" I felt something ticklish starting to roam around my body, making me a little giddy and nervous
"Name"
"Why?"
He stares back at me with the same poker face of his. By chance, was the song sang by Lady Gaga was his favorite?
"As I said, it's better for you to not know anything" he points out
This is ridiculous. I eyed him as if he was talking to a dumb 5-year-old who doesn't know it's name
"Just give me the name"
"You do know that you're invading my privacy"
"You do know I'm just helping you get out clean"
I furrowed my eyebrows about what was that about. I was about to ask him what he meant about it but then as if there's some tape recorder that was planted on my head that Taehyung's words started to run across my thoughts
It's better if you know nothing
This is seriously making me crazy
"Jeon Jungkook" I finally told a stranger whom I didn't know much who I like. The only person who knows that I like Jungkook was Chaejin and his own sister, Junghee. And they were my best friends
But then this new guy was added to the lists who now knows, and who knows what he's going to do with that delicate information I just gave him
He hums, "Does he like you, too?"
I froze on my spot for a couple of seconds. I tried to answer and open my mouth but no words came out. That simple question struck me hard. I liked him for years and almost gave my lovelife up for him
Call me exaggerating and all but it's true. I realized that I never looked into any other guy other than him
"I'll take that as a no" he said, "Can I ask why?"
"Uhm... because, he's cute, he has a soothing and angelic voice. His bunny smile makes my day. He's really sweet and manly"
"Too much information?" He breaks a chuckle
"Is it?" I ask back, scratching my neck in a frown. The thought of me liking him for years without any action struck me hard
Should I confess to him?
"Yes" he replied. My eyes jolted at his direction. Did he just read my mind. "What did you say?"
"I said yes, it is too much information" he said. "I think you need to get your hearing checked and, you sound like a whipped, gullible stray dog when you described him"
"I lay out all my reasons, okay? And what answer did you expect me to say, then?" I defend
"That you find him attractive, period, straight to the point and can be determine" he shrugs
Can't he be so cold towards my feelings?
"And you said, you like him"
"I do"
"But do you love him?"