Chapter 16: A little faith

Bella

Of course you are, your last name is Wisdom. how come it never occurred to me, that you where from the Wisdom family, she said.

The Wisdom family I repeat I knew the house was very popular but when she said the Wisdom family, she makes it look so special like we were some celebrity or something. I knew Mr. Wisdom was very wealth but….

Don't start acting humble Elizabeth caught into my thought. Am not trying to act humble, I thought this was a good time to tell her about my parent. I did not want her having the wrong ideas about me, even if I will be dead by this time tomorrow. After all she was the only friend I have.

After telling her everything she kept quiet for a bit. I even told her about my fears of not coming back to school. Everything will be fine she said. If Mr. Wisdom was your uncle it means you are part of the Wisdom wealth family, am sure there will be a trust fund for your education.

Hopefully his wife can't get access to it she said.

Here she goes again talking about being a part of the Wisdom family. does she not get everything I have been saying? or is there something I don't know about my own family?It will be crazy to ask her about it, so I nod and I hope there was really a trust fund somewhere.

I still did not understand what was so special about been a Wisdom Wealth. Wait a wisdom wealth, that's right I have had Mrs. Wisdom telling someone something about been a part of the wealth family some years back. I thought maybe that was her family name before marriage. Could it... I let the the thought go, what's the point am just an orphan.

She smiled at me, Bella I know you feel alone, I have been there too. But I want you to know that you are not. I am here for you and God is too she said. God I repeated God has never been there for me. He does not have my time and certainly those not care for me, I said. He does, it may not seem so at time or maybe most time but trust me God is there for you she said. I laugh for a bit.

My dear I don't believe he is there, if he so cared about me why would he let my parent die and leave me here in this wicked world. If he was there why would he allow the only person that shows me love and care, the only person that calls me family die at this point of my life.

I can't answer that but I know he cares. God is not a man and he does his things differently. The truth is God is the only one that is always there for us. He knows what we don't know and see what we don't see. He did not promise us a smooth ride but trust me everything will be okay soon.

I kept quiet and looked at her, she could see with the way I was looking at her I did not believe a thing she said.

Look Bella I lost my Dad and my mum is sick, terminal illness. I wake up everyday and I am scared she may be dead. I go home from school everyday with the same fear. My Dad was a good man and he believes there is a God somewhere watching over us but he got involved in an accident that took his life.

Mum was sick already and all I could see was me becoming an orphan. I just hoped and wait for when mum will join Dad. I planned on committing suicide the day mum dies. But gradually mum began to do better and even the doctors confirm that it was a miracle. Mum is not all together health but the doctors has been able to put her on a new medication that seem to be helpful. I knew then that it was true what they say there is always light at the end of a tunnel and maybe just maybe there really is a God some where that care for me.

I am still scared that one day I will wake up in the morning or get back from school and mum was gone. But am no longer thinking of taking my life as I now believe that there is a God who will take care of me and I have to have a little faith in myself that I will get though this. I am sure that's what my parents also hope and pray for she explained.

I took a deep breath and I wondered how she could always put on a smile even with the situation she was dealing with. She definitely does not have my kind of issue but I wanted to have that joy that she have. You may not always have good days. maybe everything will go worst like you think but God will definitely make a way were you least expect. Just like he has giving my mum more time she said. Just have a little more faith she added after a pause.

I felt comforted and picked up a little hope to push on. I also let go of my thoughts of committing suicide And for the first time since yesterday after I heard about my Dad's death. I felt there was still hope for a bright future for me. It like Elizabeth said Dad will not want me to give up, he away told me to have a little more faith in myself. Beside how can I just grant Mrs. Wisdom her wish and make her happy with my death.

After seeing Elizabeth off I lay in my bed, instead of crying I began to think of the things in my apartment I could sell to make up next semester fees. Thank goodness the rent for the apartment was not due till the end of the next semester. I could also sell my car. I had a little savings. I could push myself through this seminar and the next one.

Who knows God may make that way Elizabeth talked about. I just have to take one day at a time. One thing was clear to me. I will not stay back here at the mansion for Mrs. Wisdom to make life miserable for me .

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