Chapter 3: Part I - Chapter 2
The rest of the week seemed to drag on. The rest of my classes were average, nothing really special or worth even mentioning. The only things I've been doing to pass the time during the week was studying for my classes, hanging out with Nia, and daydreaming about Julian…
It was so strange. This man I only just met had been occupying my thoughts so much. I couldn't help but want to see him, want to learn about him, want to be beside him. I secretly wished that maybe he was thinking the same about me, but that was likely just wishful thinking. He probably has hundreds of students, I'm sure he doesn't even remember me…
The first weekend at school rolled around, and I had already finished all my homework for my classes, so there wasn't anything I planned to do. Nia must have known that as well, as every time she would leave our room and come back, she'd be surprised to see me still in bed on my phone or on my laptop. She suggested that I should at least go out for a walk and check out some stuff either on or off campus.
And so I decided why the hell not, as I could always go back to mindlessly browsing the web some other time. I got ready before heading out, walking down the pathways of the campus. Nothing really stood out to me worth checking out, and I felt like I would rather be comfortable in bed reading.
I soon walked off campus, crossing the street to walk down to the town that was closeby, which was an old downtown area with plenty of shops and apartment buildings. Even though I was a bit curious to check out some of the shops, I only had a bit of money on me to afford essential things.
As I continued to walk around some more, I was beginning to feel a bit hungry, so I headed into the closest cafe to hopefully get something cheap to eat.
I entered the cafe, the interior design of the establishment looking very fresh and modern with plenty of plants decorated along the walls and hanging from the ceiling. Definitely one of those hipster joints. I lined up to order, squinting my eyes to try and read what was on the menu from afar.
Before I knew it, it was already my turn to order. "Uh…" I looked up at the menu board, tapping my chin in thought. "I'll have the salad meal, I guess. With water to drink."
"Alright," the cashier said. "That'll be eleven dollars and ninety-nine cents."
Damn, the price of meals nowadays have really gone up, I thought to myself as I reached for my wallet in my pocket. I counted up the money that I had before realizing I was a dollar short. Shit.
I sighed heavily before shaking my head. "Um, I actually don't have eno—"
"It's on me," a familiar voice behind me said. I looked behind me and widened my eyes seeing the handsome man standing there with a smile. Julian.
I stepped aside awkwardly as Julian paid for my meal before paying for his own. "Hello, Cody. Spending the weekend off campus?"
"Y-yeah," I said, suddenly feeling shy. "What are you doing here?" I asked, but the answer was blatantly obvious—he was getting food, like me.
Thankfully, he just chuckled. "I actually live in an apartment in this neighbourhood. I come here every Sunday. This is my favourite cafe in town," he said before the server gave us our orders. "Would you like to join me?" He asked as he gestured towards an empty table, and of course I couldn't turn it down.
We sat together and I felt my heart beating faster in my chest, feeling so fidgety all of a sudden. "How have you been liking university so far, Cody?" Julian asked me before taking a sip of his coffee. I could see now that Julian drank his coffee black.
I poked at my salad before taking a bite. "It's okay," I said as I chewed and swallowed my food.
"Any classes that you like so far?" He asked me before taking a bite from his sandwich. I shrugged. "It's a bit early to tell, but… I like your class," I said shyly, hoping he didn't think I was trying to be a suck-up, because I genuinely meant it.
Julian smiled. "Thank you, I'm flattered. I hope you stay for the rest of the course," he said. "Some students find that my assignments can be a bit too challenging for them."
"Oh, yeah?" I responded before taking a sip of my water. "Well, it's just an introduction course, isn't it? It can't be that hard."
"I hope you won't underestimate me, Cody. My colleagues tell me I can be a hard-ass when I need to be," he said with a chuckle. "I just want you to work hard, and I can definitely see you have been from your homework answers."
"You already read them?"
He nodded. "I did. I'm very impressed. If you keep it up just like that, I'm sure you'll pass the class with flying colours," he said with a smile, making me smile back.
We continued to eat before I decided that I should maybe initiate some more smalltalk, even as shy and nervous as I felt. "So, it's just you and your cat living downtown? You're not married?" I asked.
Julian nodded before chuckling and slightly blushing, scratching the back of his neck. "No, it's just the two of us. Even though I'm reaching my forties soon… It's quite a cozy life, just Peggy and I," he said. "I'm happy with my job as well, although I definitely wouldn't turn down teaching somewhere like Seacoast or Fortuna. "
Those are two really prestigious schools in the country, I thought to myself. "I'm glad you're teaching here, though."
"Thank you, Cody. I appreciate that," he said with a little smile as he pushed up his glasses.
I couldn't help but be curious about his love life, though. I didn't want to pry too much, and I didn't want to make him uncomfortable either—but I had to know… "So… You don't have a special woman in your life? I mean, you're a handsome guy, I'm sure the ladies are all over you."
Julian widened his eyes and cleared his throat, pushing up his glasses again as he seemed to try and hide his growing blush. "A-actually… I prefer men."
I widened my eyes, looking away as I could feel my own face heating up. "Oh! I see… Sorry for asking, that must have been such a personal question," I said in embarrassment. Wow… He's gay? That makes me feel… Really good…
He shook his head and smiled pleasantly. "It's quite alright, Cody. I'm not usually so open about it, but I don't feel any shame about it either," he said reassuringly.
The two of us continued to eat and talk about some casual subjects, such as the school, some books that we've read, and a few questions about each other's lives that weren't too personal. I couldn't help but keep thinking about how he said that he preferred men—even though I knew the two of us could never be together as a couple, it did make me happy that maybe there was a bit of a chance there.
It felt once again like it was just the two of us in our own world. I felt that I had become much more relaxed the more the two of us talked, but I still felt a bit self-conscious as to how I looked and what I'd say, I just really wanted to impress him.
He checked his watch before standing up, collecting his garbage and mine as well. "I apologize, Cody, but I have to get going. It was nice having lunch with you, don't worry about paying me back or anything," he said with a little smile. "Keep up the good work, okay? I'll see you in class tomorrow, hopefully."
I nodded. "Okay."
He went to go throw out our garbage before waving goodbye to me again, heading out. I exhaled deeply, closing my eyes to try and process what just happened. Jeez, I swear this dumb crush on Julian will be the death of me. I feel like both my head and body get so overwhelmed when I'm around him…
After taking a few minutes to calm myself down, I decided to head out of the cafe and back to campus. Once I got to the dorm building, I went straight to my room before laying down on my bed to see what was happening on Flumblr.
I was pretty satisfied with the number of followers I had lately—every time I made a post with my face in it, I seemed to get so many likes and new follows.
Sometimes I wondered if my 'pretty face' would ever take me anywhere in life other than getting attention from random strangers.
I wonder if Julian likes my pretty face, I thought to myself. I was so excited to see him in class the next day, and to read that book he said he would lend to me.
Until tomorrow… I thought to myself before closing my eyes to drift off into a nap.
---
I made sure to wear one of my nicer shirts before I went to my Monday class. I made sure to get there early like last time, sitting in my usual spot, in the front right in the centre.
A lot more students were coming inside the classroom to take their seats, which made me curse to myself that Julian and I wouldn't be able to have a conversation before class started.
Two girls possibly the same age as me walked in together, sitting in the row behind me. "Don't you think our prof for this class is hot?"
"For sure. But he's probably got a wife, or something… Shoot. I would totally let him get it," the other girl said to her friend before the two giggled.
Little do they know his only female companion is and will ever be his cat, I thought to myself.
The door opened and Julian walked in, making me sit up immediately. He was always dressed so fashionably whenever I saw him.
"Hello, everybody. I hope you all had a good weekend," he said to the room before looking at me with a small smile. I immediately looked down shyly.
He began to set up for the day's lecture, and I pulled out my laptop to get ready to take notes. After he was finished setting up, he went over the homework.
"Now, I wanted to say thank you to those who actually did the homework," he said slightly teasingly. "Special thanks to Cody over here for going above and beyond with his answers."
I widened my eyes and looked up, seeing Julian change slides to show a screenshot of my answers for the homework. "This is truly the gold standard. Exactly what I'd like to see," he said as he read out my answers.
I couldn't help but feel bashful and shy having him praise me so much. It made me feel good…
After he finished using my answers to take up the homework questions, he moved on to the lecture as I tried my best to take notes without getting distracted by how handsome Julian was. God, I love the way he looks, the way he talks, the way he's just so passionate about literature…
Time just seemed to fly by, and before I knew it, the lecture was over. The students began to leave the class, except for me, of course.
"There he is, Mr. Gold Star. What's happening, Cody?" Julian asked me as he began to put away his things.
I shyly pulled my sleeves up to cover my hands. "I… wanted to say thank you," I said, suddenly feeling nervous again. "For both praising me for my answers and for paying for my lunch yesterday."
"Ah, don't even mention it, Cody. I just wanted to show the class what a prime example of what I'm looking for is," he said with a smile. "And as I said, don't worry about lunch! It was on me."
I nodded. "Okay," I said before it seemed that he suddenly remembered something. He grabbed his bag and pulled out a book, presenting it to me. "Here, as I promised, Where to Find Me In Hell. Just return it to me when you're finished reading it."
I took it from him, feeling butterflies in my stomach when our hands touched. "Thank you. What if I don't finish it before the semester's over?"
"Then you can keep it, I don't mind. I'd be fine knowing that it's in good hands," he said as he smiled again.
God, I swear I could melt, I thought to myself before I put the book in my bag. "Well… I'll see you next week," I said to him before he nodded. "Sure thing, Cody. Good job again on the homework, I hope you can deliver that kind of effort into this week's as well."
"I hope so too," I said to him before waving goodbye again and leaving.
I closed my eyes and exhaled deeply after leaving the classroom, feeling my heart racing once again.
---
The next few weeks that passed by, I spent all my time focusing on putting all my effort into the homework and assignments for Julian's class, and reading the book that he lent me. Nia had been teasing me about how much I had my nose in a book or my eyes glued to my computer screen, but it wasn't like she was much better. I would always see her gaming on her laptop whenever I came back after classes.
I was doing alright in my other classes, but most of my energy went towards impressing Julian in any way. Every week he would praise me in front of everyone for my efforts and we would have a short conversation after class.
I would even email him questions about the homework that he'd assign or about something he had taught us in class, and he would respond happily and professionally. Even though I was glad that he responded to my emails, it was a bit frustrating having this wall between us that was preventing us from communicating other than in a student-teacher way.
The story of Where to Find Me In Hell was about the journey of a young man named Samuel whose goal in life is to become an angel and reunite with his childhood love in heaven, but to do so, he must not fall into the temptations of sin.
The book was interesting so far that I've read, but I found that it was somewhat dumb for Samuel to have to live such a pure and squeaky clean life free of any kind of sin just to see some girl he knew when he was a kid. How boring is that? I wouldn't be able to do it.
Then I remembered Daniel, and wondered if I'd be willing to live such an innocent life if it meant I'd get to see him again. I looked down at his bracelet around my wrist, suddenly feeling so empty.
I shook my head. It's been four years. It's over, I told myself.
I decided to try and not think about what ifs and all that, it would just cause unnecessary pain for myself. So I decided to read on, thinking about why Julian liked this book so much.
I wonder if Julian is innocent, I wondered as I flipped the page. I wonder if he's as pure as he makes himself seem to be? Or does he have some secrets…?
I decided not to think too much about it, not wanting to ruin the idealized version of Julian I already had in my mind.
---
After about a month of being the 'prime example' of a gold standard student, Julian gave us a different kind of assignment that was about something he talked about in the lecture. It was actually something I didn't understand very well both when he explained it in class and in the written instructions, so I decided to ask him about it after the class when he assigned it.
"I didn't really understand the lecture today," I said to him with a bit of shame. "I was kinda thrown off with the topic."
"Oh? That surprises me, considering how well you've done on all the homework and the other assignment," Julian said. "But don't worry, Cody. I'll do my best to make sure you'll succeed in this assignment and this course."
"Thank you," I said as he checked his schedule book. "Hmm… I don't have time to go over it right now, as I have a meeting I have to get to, but how about we meet sometime this week and we can go over it together?"
Imagining the two of us together… Sitting beside him as he explains the assignment to me… I looked down to try and hide my growing blush. "Sure."
"Alright. How about on Friday at around noon we meet at that cafe from before where we had lunch together? Does that sound good to you?" He asked me, and I nodded. "Okay."
"Cool. I'll see you then, Cody," he said to me with a smile before picking up his bag and heading out in a hurry to get to his meeting.
I gulped as I tried not to freak out too much. Spending time out of school with Julian again… I can't wait.
I shook my head and sighed, slapping a hand to my forehead. What's important is that I do good in this class, right? And not just about spending time with Julian?
I didn't know why, but I felt something inside me regarding later that week with Julian. I didn't know what it was, but somehow I had a feeling that something would happen…
...And how right I was.
---
I had read further in the book Julian lent me, and the plot had sure taken a turn. It turned out Samuel fell in love with a tempting woman who was a disguised demon from hell. And so even though Samuel falls for her, he gets a second chance to decide whether to continue his pursuit of an innocent life for the girl he loves in heaven, or to continue to stay with the devil woman, who fulfilled his every need.
That's where I stopped reading and took a break when Friday rolled around. I prepared myself that day by waking up early to shower and pick out the right outfit that maybe Julian would think was somewhat stylish. I wish I was more fashionable, but I didn't really have the money or the confidence to improve my wardrobe. I mostly just wore Nathan's hand-me-downs.
At least my Flumblr followers didn't seem to mind my style. I could post pictures of me wearing a potato sack and still get likes.
So I picked a red hoodie and some jeans, I felt that a simple look like this was working for me. Nia was staying in to play games, and she teased me about looking nice for a date.
I brought my school bag with me as I made my way out of the dorms and off the campus to the cafe that was downtown. I wanted to get there early, just like how I always showed up early for his class. When I arrived, it seemed that the cafe was flooded with customers already, so I decided to just stand by the door to wait for Julian. It wasn't cold outside or anything, so I didn't mind waiting.
After about ten minutes, I saw Julian jogging over to me, his bag around him as he smiled. "Cody, it's good to see you. Are you ready?"
I gestured to the cafe with my thumb. "It's full."
Julian turned to look inside through the clear glass windows of the cafe, sighing. "Shoot, you're right… It's packed in there," he said frustratedly. He looked at me. "How about we go to my apartment instead? It's close by," he suggested.
I gulped. Julian and I, alone in his apartment…? I mean, other than his cat… "Okay," I said with a nod.
"Alright. We can walk there from here, so just follow my lead," Julian said with a smile before he turned, leading the way as I followed.
It was a pretty short walk to get to his apartment building, not even ten minutes away from the cafe. Julian used his key to enter the building before the two of us entered, heading up the stairs to the third floor of the building where Julian's apartment was.
My heart was beating strong and fast inside me the whole time as we walked down the hall. I really can't believe I'm going to Julian's apartment…
The two of us made it to his door and he unlocked it before letting me inside. I stepped in as he followed and closed the door behind him. "Welcome to my place," he said as he took off his coat and shoes. He was wearing a button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, showing off his elegant-looking watch around his wrist.
I took a moment to admire his place. It was small, but it was cozy. It was a bit cluttered around but in a way that was still somewhat working for its environment. There seemed to be books all over the place, not to mention a large bookshelf taking up the entire wall of the living area. Cat toys were around as well. From the hallway came Julian's cute orange striped cat making her way to check us out.
"Hey, Peggy," Julian greeted as he picked up the feline into his arms and snuggled her before putting her down to let her go and do her own thing.
"She's cute," I said and Julian nodded. "Indeed. She's a smart girl, too." He smiled as he watched her climb on her tower to settle down at the top.
"Well, you can go sit down on the couch and set up, Cody. I'll make us some coffee so you can show me everything you don't understand," he said as he gestured towards the couch in the living area, and I nodded as I took my shoes off before heading over to the couch to sit down and pull my things out of my bag.
Peggy was staring at me the whole time, and it made me feel slightly uneasy.
I moved over some of the books and newspapers that were on the coffee table to make room for my laptop and the coffee Julian was making. I logged onto the website where Julian posted the slides for each week before sitting back and staring back at Peggy.
Her eyes were a greenish-copper, almost alike to Julian's.
"Do you like anything in your coffee, Cody?" Julian asked from the kitchen. I didn't usually drink coffee unless it was really sweet and had a lot of milk, but I didn't want Julian to know that. "No, just black is okay," I replied.
"Nice," Julian said before he arrived in the living area with two mugs filled with dark black coffee. He brought them over to the coffee table and handed one mug to me before I took it, our fingers grazing again as I felt that same spark from before.
He sat down next to me on the couch, making my heart begin to race even quicker. I can't believe I'm really sitting next to Julian on his couch in his apartment, I thought to myself as Julian began to explain the subject to me. But I just stared at him, we've never been so close before.
He moved closer to click to go to the next slide, explaining the points on it to me as well. I wasn't really listening, I could hear him talk but I wasn't quite understanding the words. I could smell the scent of his cologne, so classy yet subtle, just like Julian.
I blinked, trying to snap out of my daze and concentrate on what he was actually trying to teach me. I looked away and sighed. I just couldn't get myself to calm down.
"What's the matter, Cody? Are you alright?" Julian asked me, genuine concern in his voice. I slowly nodded before sighing again. "I just… Keep getting distracted. My mind always drifts off into other things when I try to focus."
"Is there something on your mind?" He asked me gently, as if he was actually worried about me. I nodded. "Yeah, but I don't want to stray away from this," I said, gesturing to the lesson slides on my laptop screen.
Julian shook his head. "It's difficult to absorb the information you're being taught when you have a lot going on up here," he said as he gestured to his head. "If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. I just hope that there's something I can do to help."
I noticed at the moment that our legs were touching each other, which was obviously accidental—but it made my heart feel aflutter.
I gulped before looking at him. "I… I really like someone, but I shouldn't…"
"I see," Julian said before pushing up his glasses with two fingers. "Well, you can't really help how you feel about someone, that's the truth," he said with a light chuckle. "I'd say to just follow your heart. If it feels right, go for it. And if it doesn't, then it wasn't meant to be. That's the best advice I can give."
"Samuel," I said silently under my breath.
"H-huh?"
I looked at him. "In Where to Find Me In Hell, Samuel has to live an innocent life in order to reunite with the girl he loves," I said. "But he falls for the demon woman and has to choose between these two women he loves. What do you think of that?"
"Well…" Julian seemed to think for a moment. "I think I'm a lot like Samuel in the sense that he wants to live a life as pure as he can to be granted with the greatest reward of all. But, I understand how powerful temptation can be, especially when you're being tempted by someone who seems to be perfect. For me personally, if I were in Samuel's shoes, I would try my best to live life as well as I can to be rewarded in the afterlife."
I shook my head. "Would you ever consider giving into your own temptations?" I asked, staring into his beautiful hazel eyes for an answer.
"Er… Well…" Julian sheepishly scratched his head. "...I never really considered it."
"Then I hope you can forgive me for giving into mine," I quietly said. Before I could give Julian a chance to answer, I leaned in and closed my eyes as I pressed my lips against his own, making him tense up in surprise, but he didn't pull away or push me back.
His lips were soft with balm, and he tasted like coffee…
After a few seconds, Julian gently pulled back and shook his head. "Cody…"
"I like you so much, Julian," I finally said out loud, desperately gripping one of his shoulders with a hand. "I can't stop thinking about you, day and night, it's always you on my mind… I feel like my chest is going to explode whenever you're around. I… I want to be yours, only yours…" My voice trailed off as I looked down, my face probably red.
"I'm your teacher, and you're my student…" Julian quietly said in a calm voice, despite probably freaking out on the inside. "This wouldn't be right."
"But do you like me too, Julian?" I asked him, looking up, my big blue eyes about to tear up.
Julian began to blush as he pushed up his glasses, looking away. "I… I admit, I find you incredibly fascinating, Cody. You're remarkably beautiful, incredibly smart, and we're passionate about the same things… You would be perfect for me…" He sighed. "But it's not appropriate. We could get in a lot of trouble if someone found out."
I just looked down, feeling like I was going to cry any time soon. He really thinks that about me? "Nobody will know," I said. "I promise, no one will know. I… I just want to be with you so badly." I leaned my head against his chest, feeling a tear roll down my cheek.
Julian took a moment to calm down and exhaled deeply, taking my shoulders and gently moving me off of him. "...Alright."
I looked up. "Huh?"
Julian closed his eyes and took another deep breath. "I like you too, Cody. I want us to be together," he said to me, making me widen my eyes. "However, it will be only in private. We can't ever get caught. Anywhere in public, we are strictly teacher and student. Okay?" He wiped my tears with his thumb and smiled at me. "So, no more crying," he said softly.
I was completely speechless at that point, and Julian moved his hand down my face to tilt my head up, pressing his lips against mine as he kissed me, making me close my eyes and smile as I kissed him back.
God, I could feel fireworks going off when we kissed—all throughout my body were sparks of joy going off. Kissing him felt as good as I imagined it would be. Butterflies were fluttering about in my chest and my stomach, and I felt that nothing, nothing in the world could bring me down.
Because Julian was mine. And I was his.
We continued to kiss as I pulled him closer to deepen the kiss as he sighed into my mouth, making me happily catch every sigh and moan with my own lips. He tasted so good, kissing him felt so right, and my mind was completely somewhere else yet only focused on this moment alone.
I shifted myself to climb on his lap, and he let me as his hands gripped my hips as his lips moved to kiss their way from my lips down my neck, gently biting into my skin and sucking as I softly gasped. The slight pain was replaced with a soft kiss there—he had marked me. I belonged to him.
I could feel blood start rushing down below, beginning to get me aroused. Julian peppered kisses all over my neck, a hand moving down as I felt him softly grab at my ass, making me slightly whimper. Julian likes me… I'm Julian's secret boyfriend…
Our lips connected again and we passionately made out again, as I grinded on his lap while his tongue slipped into my mouth, making me moan as I felt his tongue play with my own, our kisses becoming messy and fervent. I was melting in his grasp.
He gently pulled away as we caught our breaths before he looked at me with a lustful gaze, cupping my face in his hand. "You're so beautiful, Cody…" He whispered before smiling at me. "But, really, we really need you to understand this material," he said with a knowing look as I was still sitting in his lap.
I sighed. "Okay, you're right," I said before climbing off of him to sit back down on the couch, still feeling half-hard in my pants. As Julian went back to teacher mode, I just tried to ignore my hardness and hoped that it would go away.
I actually did end up listening to Julian explain the material to me, the terms in the lesson and instructions of the assignment making a lot more sense after he clarified them. I truly did want to do well in this class, especially for Julian.
After we finished studying together and Julian made sure that I understood everything, we just drank coffee and talked about novels we liked and about ourselves until it was pretty late.
"It's late, Cody. You should head back," Julian said and I nodded. "Alright," I said as I began to pack up my things, with Julian helping me.
I stood up and grabbed my bag before Julian walked me down to the front of his apartment building. "Thank you, Julian…" I said. "...For everything."
He smiled. "I just hope you understand what I'm looking for in the assignment now," he said and I nodded. "Yes. I get it, I'll start working on it tomorrow."
"Good boy," Julian said casually, although hearing him call me that suddenly made me feel somewhat flustered. "Goodnight, Cody."
"Goodnight, Julian," I said, wanting to kiss him, but not when we were out like this where people might see.
"Do you want me to call you a ride?" He asked me. "It's pretty dark."
I shook my head. "No, I'll be okay."
"Are you sure?" He asked, a look of worry on his face.
"Yes. I'll be fine."
"Alright. Be safe walking back," he said to me as he began to walk back inside and I nodded before I began walking back to campus. I couldn't help but think about what had happened this whole evening.
Julian and I are finally together… It feels like a dream…!
I didn't mind having to keep our relationship totally secret and having just a regular relationship at school. Maybe it was wrong, but I didn't care.
Thankfully, I made it back to my dorm building safely in one piece, and Nia was still on her laptop playing games. She took off her headphones and looked at me with a smirk when she saw me come in. "How was your date?"
I rolled my eyes in response before walking over to my bed to lay down and sigh dreamily, thinking about Julian.
We really kissed… And I'm really Julian's boyfriend… I felt like I was floating on air.
I'm his… And he's mine.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone