Chapter 3: Over the top
Exo's "Sing for you" is on. I am grateful to my boss, Nancy, for letting me choose a k-pop playlist to put on while I'm working. It get's me in a good mood. I usually feel at ease when this familiar, soothing sound is on but right now…
"What have I done?" I say softly feeling truly baffled.
'Did we just do that?'
I think I'm oficially insane. I just met him this morning and now something really crazy happened.
I was on my knees with my head down. If anyone came in at that exact moment to see my shocked face would definitely be worried. Just moments ago Jay was with me. But now I was alone, maybe feeling a little scared. Tears start running down my cheeks while I replay in my head what I had done moments ago.
'So...he's gone, just like that?!'
I try to get up but my legs are shaking. I try to control my tears but I couldn't stop a few of them from falling. I give up. I laugh and cry at the same time. 'That was...WOW. Best way to describe it? Intense.'
Meanwhile I let a deep breath out, one that was holding in apparently for whatever reason.
Some time passed, me, silent now, still on the floor.
I don't know how long I have stayed like that until a buzz woke me from my tranche. It was a message from Gary. "That bastard." A sudden anger overwhelmed me. He wanted to know if we could meet and talk. A week has passed since I last saw him.
My heart was still bitter, the wound still fresh in my heart. Feelings don't just go away overnight but I was determined to end it with him once and for all.
I stand up angrily, get out of the stall, wash my hands and then face with warm water, put my hair in a ponytail and get out of the bathroom. I ignored the message and started doing my job like nothing happened.
Cleaning some tables I hear a familiar voice saying: "Jane?"
"Fuck!" I want to run. I was not ready for this. I was not expecting him.
My eyes were slightly puffy from crying. 'Did he notice? Will he think it's because of him?' I get lost in thought and questions fill my mind. I felt his figure moving towards me, I couldn't avoid it so I just put on a fake, cringe smile and turned. 'He was here, the question was "why".'
"Jane, love, please, listen to me?" he said it gently but I was still startled. "I love you, I'm...I am really sorry for what I did, I'm a fool..." he continued making those sweet, puppy eyes he knew I couldn't refuse. But I needed to stay strong. "Hello, Gary! No, Gary! Bye, Gary!" I was annoyed by his presence. I tried to walk away but felt my arm being grabbed. "Please, let's talk." I stand still for a moment, looking at him intensly. He releases my arm and we look at each other. "Wait here." I say and then ask Mary, my coworker to cover for me a few minutes, again.
The wind feels quite strong , Gary sees that my hair is a mess and stands in front of me, protecting my small figure from it.
He is big, with a well built body, a body that I adored and worshipped. A part of me still misses him. I felt so sad and broken, still do, so hugging myself I finally talk. "What do you want? We have nothing more to discuss." My short found confidence I just had was lost now. "I'm stupid Jane, it was a mistake, she helped me get a part in the movie. I was grateful. We...we drank too much, it was a mistake. You can't throw away all that happened between us, you can't trow away our love and our future on a mistake."
I felt disgust in my throat. The events of that day were still in my mind. "You've got to be kidding me? When you were inside her did you think about our future? There's no excuse for what you did. Two years, two freaking years down the drain just so you could get a job. Just stop it, Gary!" I let a tear fall on my cheek. 'He is so not worth it.' I think but still I couldn't help but feel like I lost a part of me when I kicked him out a week ago. 'You still love him, you fool.' I argue with myself while trying to keep myself calm in the surface.
"Look, I have to go." He said, interrupting my thoughts. "I can't stay, I started filming today. Think about us, think about what I said. I promise I'll be good to you. I love you, Jane, forever and ever and ever, remember?"
He kisses my cheek. I stand still, lost in my own world. Gary leaves.
'What the fuck just happened? You just let yourself be played by him, as always.' I got angry at myself for being such a fool. My legs are shaking. I remember, just minutes ago, I had experienced the most adventurous thing I have ever done in my life. Taking my phone out I reply to Gary's message. "What you feel is not love, you have no heart, don't talk to me ever again. We're over."
There was always something more important to Gary than me. Now that I look back at my memories it has always been like that. On my birthday, on our anniversary, even his birthday was spent with his 'buddies' not with me. I'm such a fool but that's over now. From now on I'll take care of myself and be happy. 'Maybe even with... HIM?' I blush thinking about him as I enter the cafe.
I thank Mary for her help as I start doing my job. I kept busy for the rest of the day, I had to keep myself busy but somehow I ended up daydreaming about Jay more than once.
Damn, if only I had not seen Gary, it would have been a great day.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone