Chapter 20: The Awe That Stayed The Same
Hearing the words, Chu Weixu immediately turned towards the voice and saw Ai Zhiyi standing in front of their bedroom door who was neatly dressed.
The man had an alluring gaze, his lips looked like peaches. He was a charming figure who would constantly amaze Chu Weixu no matter how he looked.
Chu Weixu's eyes immediately lit up in awe, his mouth slightly agape from the admiration that was gradually rising in his heart.
Ai Zhiyi's light was undeniable. It even exceeded anything and no one had it in this world. If Ai Zhiyi was a star in the skies, then Ai Zhiyi was a Sirius who always shined the brightest and he would never get tired of looking at him, even patiently waiting for the night just to look at him and admire how beautiful Ai Zhiyi was out of millions of stars.
Chu Weixu felt grateful to be with Ai Zhiyi until now and witnessed how Ai Zhiyi always seemed to shine in his eyes and never dimmed in the slightest, admiring the beauty in his heart.
It was like the admiration when they first met each other, where he was amazed by a kid who always looked brilliant, even good at music at the age of seven years.
Chu Weixu showed a look of admiration like that day, or never even changed a bit and kept growing with time.
Sensing that feeling, Chu Weixu felt nostalgic. Because Chu Weixu loved hearing the music that Ai Zhiyi always played, he admired him secretly and wanted Ai Zhiyi to always play the melody for him.
When Chu Weixu made friends with Ai Zhiyi, he always asked Ai Zhiyi to play music for him although it was a little pushy. If Ai Zhiyi refused, then Chu Weixu would pretend to be sulky and run to the river to hide, blaming Ai Zhiyi, accusing Ai Zhiyi that he no longer wanted to be friends with him. So, at any cost, Ai Zhiyi couldn't resist, other than being very obedient as his father worked for the Chu Family and being very loyal.
Although Ai Zhiyi always played the same song, Chu Weixu never felt bored or complained. Chu Weixu simply couldn't stop himself from letting those notes tickle his heart.
Chu Weixu always became a loyal fan, who watched Ai Zhiyi without blinking, as if every second was the most precious time in Ai Zhiyi's performance at school back then. Out of that, Chu Weixu even asked his parents to transfer him from the elite school he was in and wanted to enter a public school where he could watch Ai Zhiyi play music. Until then, Chu Weixu was the only person who had always followed Ai Zhiyi and provided special protection for him.
In Junior High School, Chu Weixu felt a strangeness within him. He felt there was a good trait that inherited all kindness, compassion, and attention, and found that admiration gradually became a different thing as they were together. He felt stronger emotions slowly form a personal attraction for him, but he refused to ask or say it directly to Ai Zhiyi.
At that time, Chu Weixu didn't know whether he was in love or just their emotional attachment deepening. But, it was the first time he felt the feelings of "self-sacrifice", "empathy", "compassion", "want to have him", and "he is the only one". He could even feel them carved into his bones with deep and clear carvings as if they were symbols of the love that had never been lost to this day. Thus, Chu Weixu realized that he was in love with Ai Zhiyi all along as well as the melody.
For two years Chu Weixu ignored his feelings. However, the days he passed were like a rock he carried on his back to the hill, limping as if about to crush his bones. Thus, when they entered High School, Chu Weixu finally decided to confess his feelings and even boldly and arrogantly, prided himself on being the right person for Ai Zhiyi, as if he wouldn't allow Ai Zhiyi to say his rejection.
However, the day was quite hasty and sudden, that in the end, Chu Weixu felt heartbroken for the first time. Ai Zhiyi rejected him on the grounds that he was a man, and … Chu Weixu was his best friend.
But, after all, Chu Weixu was indeed too stubborn, which had been written down his spine and flowed with his blood, that no one could deny how stubborn he had been in the past, even now.
Chu Weixu kept chasing after Ai Zhiyi. Even if [1]Grandpa Moon didn't tie the red string for them, Chu Weixu wanted to tie the rope with his own hand around Ai Zhiyi's pinky and force their matchmaking would.
Chu Weixu had heard the story of [2]Sharing Peaches. He thought that the ancients even loved regardless of who he was, what his position was, even whether he was a man or a woman, so why not for them?
It made Chu Weixu not despair. If Ai Zhiyi rejected him one more time, then Chu Weixu would never stop until Ai Zhiyi kicked him away. But, in fact, Ai Zhiyi never did that. He even came to Chu Weixu, asking the sincerity of his words. So, Chu Weixu replied as he believed his feelings were genuine.
One day, Chu Weixu asked him, 'what is your dream?' He still remembered how the smile on Ai Zhiyi's face confirmed the sincerity in his words that Ai Zhiyi wanted to become a musician. Chu Weixu smiled, feeling touched in his heart. It was also his dream for a long time, where he dreamed to have his own band and he as a vocalist, get a standing ovation from fans, and his albums were loved by many people.
However, Chu Weixu knew clearly that his father would never allow his children to run away from their family's hereditary line of business.
Chu Weixu had a moment of contemplation and frustration. But ever since he became close to Ai Zhiyi, the gloomy in his heart seemed to have a new life that always made him smile. And as soon as he heard Ai Zhiyi had the same dream as him, Chu Weixu was touched and didn't want Ai Zhiyi to end up like him.
However, that day was like a curse. When Chu Weixu realized his feelings for Ai Zhiyi, they both had the same fate. Neither of them made their dreams come true so that Chu Weixu often blames himself for years, while Ai Zhiyi always persuaded him to stop and look forward, that they would always be together ups and downs, and reassured Chu Weixu that he was his new dream.
Even though Chu Weixu had promised him that he would be the one who sat in the front row of seats at every performance, Ai Zhiyi always thought that Chu Weixu kept his promise. Chu Weixu had even been the most loyal fan for him for two decades.
It made Chu Weixu finally understand that how he loved Ai Zhiyi and their family's reaction, wasn't an excuse not to seek new dreams for them, and his dream was to stay with Ai Zhiyi forever. Since Chu Weixu didn't want to lose his dream twice, he wouldn't give up on his new dream once they decided to leave.
[1] Grandpa Moon or Yue Xia Lao Ren (Grandpa Under the Moon) is the determiner of mate (in Chinese legend) — connecting the red string.
[2] Sharing Peaches are one of the three big names for same-sex (gay only) relationships in classical Chinese.
Gifts
-- Gift
received Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone