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Chapter 3: FUTURE

Past, present, future, if you are asked to pick one and stay in the moment forever, which would you pick, but how can you pick? You think too much, you're caught in a time warp, you sit for hours, life drones on, mind numbing, senseless of the world around you, no concept of time, they say you're screwed for the future, they say be better, try harder, they don't know your brain doesn't function like theirs. Your overloaded with thoughts and commands, it pushes out the unnecessary, not ideally necessary, but the brain often is in control, dominance over you, your body, your time.

Past, present, future, pick one and stay, but how can you pick? But how's it possible to be emotionally numb and overthink at the same time. To get lost in your thoughts, in time, what is time, what is lost if there is no time, thinking too much about why you're thinking too little, they don't understand, they demand explanation, you can't explain, thoughts overload the brain, incapable of expression. No expression, no words, no explanation. How do you explain the very thing that drives you a bit closer to insanity each day. In fact, every minute of the day. Left to drown in your thoughts. The hard drive is overloaded, on the verge of self destruct.

Past, present, future, pick one and stay, but how can you pick? But how questions rolling the rim. Did they, do they, will they, either way, a loss wrapped up in the perspective of others. They ask how you can live if not for yourself. They don't know you're slowly dying each time. Every decision, small or big, they decide, it's not you, never you. They control your very thoughts, your actions. The hard drive hyper loaded explosion. The very loss of normality becomes the insanity.

Past, present, future, pick one and stay but how can you pick? Yesterday, today, tomorrow, too much, too little. Them, you an impossible task of filtration. They say decisions are quick, when you can't pick.They say toothbrush doesn't matter but you ask what if a toothbrush doesn't matter, what if 'Your voldemort, terminator, Darth Vader' A void of endless destruction. But no expiration leaves no explanation and curiosity kills the cat. So... How do you explain the very thing that kills you just a little bit each day. They demand explanation, but you refuse to understand past, present, future, if only you could pick one and stay, but how.

FUTURE

***

Williams tapped me as I turned to look at him. "Guy,' He looked around to see if anyone was perhaps around the confined cell room and squatted. "I hear say Buhari don pay our men to kill you this night." He broke out in pidgin language.

"I am happy." I said.

"You bi mad man? Me I de reason your matter, you no suppose dey this prison, guys wey dey here are bloody criminals but you bi innocent person." Williams felt irritated. "Nelson Mandela, how you go open blog come dey yarn nonsense talk, or you no get sense."

"I spoke the truth my friend, all I ever did was try to make Nigeria better, and am happy I impacted lives with my famous blog, I'll be in history like Nelson Mandela, that's a life worth living for." I corrected.

"Chai!" Williams hugged me. "I know I bi your cell mate, your a good man, you don't deserve this, this is why nobody talks, the government will silence you and if you can't stay silent they'll kill you. Bro how you can you be in prison and still use the typewriter, you know this will happen, why? Why did you continue even though you were silenced. No bi everybody go bi Nnamdi Kanu for this life, why?"

I didn't say anything for a moment.

"As gentle hue gives way to opportunity, I am physically free and mentally confined. Bound by atmospheric customs. Liberation escapes me. I can't reside in a lie only to sustain sanity. Only in solitude do I find my truest self. Honesty publicly masquerading as non-bias political correctness, equals internal stress from lack of pure expression, added to equations yet equality remains ever so illusive. Striving with minimal attainment is the constant thread in this fabric of blackness. Continuous oversights leave me oversighted. Misquoted and misguided. I seek refuge in all that is familiar. Rehabilitation seems to be the greatest of lies in this cyclonic conundrum of regulations. Inspired only by what my eyes behold, my expectations resides in the highest of lows. Strength to endure only powered by the fantasies in my head. I refer back to my solitude with my blog, so pardon me, when I express my feelings in my blog. I am sorry, when I question some certain things in my blog. Forgive me, when I accept my truest self."

Immediately the room was unlocked, I looked at the men sent to kill me. Williams quickly grabbed a weapon. One of the men, Prince, screamed at Williams while he lunged at Williams with his axe in hand. Williams blocked his attack while he followed with multiple thrusts aiming for Williams' head and neck, but didn't succeed. Williams leaped at him with his weapon pointed downward in mid air while Prince swung his axe with the intention of lofting off Williams' leg.

Williams did an aerial flip to avoid his weapon, which Prince didn't expect and while in mid air he managed to kick Prince on the face followed by a quick stab to Prince's shoulder. Williams shifted to the right, then the left, followed by a flip to the right again while he blocked the rest of Prince's attacks with his weapon.

The sharp metal sounds of steel against steel rang through the room as Prince continues to hammer down on him causing sparks to erupt whenever their weapons grind each other. The other two men standing couldn't watch any longer as they reached out to their pocket, bringing out their guns and releasing the bullets on Williams and I.


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