Chapter 5: Chapter 3
"So, what do you say, kid?" Eros says, breaking me from my daze.
"So what is the real reason that you're doing this for me?"
"Well…""Actually, recently I got married and was wondering what to give to her as a honeymoon gift."
"Then, thanks to my intellectual brilliance, I decided I'd give her some entertainment."
"Actually, you're not that special..." *twitch*
"Or interesting…" *twitch*
"You're actually unbelievably normal… too normal. No, in fact, you're abnormally normal…" *twitch*
"OKAY! I get it! No need to rub it in…. bastard," I lose my temper at the relentless roasting.
"Ahem. Well, anyway... there's no need to do anything special. Just live your life as you want, but please try to be entertaining. I'm at my wit's end with thinking of a gift."
I notice the somewhat pleading look in his eyes and cool off.
'Wait Eros, where have I heard this name before…?'
"Eros? you said you were a god, right?" I question him.
"Well, isn't that obvious?" He slightly tilts his head in confusion.
"Ah, excuse my manners. I am Eros. The Greek god of love!" he says emphatically as golden rays radiate from his body.
'Well, that explains a lot' I look at him with an uninterested look. I could tell that he was unimpressed by my reaction.
"Ahem. Well, I know what you're thinking, where is my bow and arrow, where are my wings and why am I not a midget?"
'Nope. You couldn't be further wrong' I say inwardly.
"Well kid, I'm retired. You humans are weird yet fascinating creatures, although I never really understood why you made me a midget. Also, what is with you humans and making our statues have small genitals and why…"
He continues to ramble on about some other pointless stuff that I couldn't be further uninterested in.
"So Eros, I would be so incredibly grateful if you could send me on my way' grown sick of his rambling, I interrupt with a fake smile on my face.
"Slow down kid!"
"I have a question, what was your goal before you decided to stupidly follow that girl."
"Actually, I wanted to be a chef. Why?" I reply with a questioning gaze.
"Hey Amara, you've been watching an anime recently about cooking, haven't you?". Amara, who has been deathly quiet so far, finally speaks excitedly.
"Yes! Yes! Shokugeki no Soma. You're Japanese, right? You must have watched it!!".
"Erm... you realise not all Japanese people watch anime, right?" I say, hoping to educate the weeb, something that has always been hard to do.
She says in a haughty tone, "Bullshit! Next, you'll be telling me that there aren't subtitles every time a Japanese person talks."
"Right, Eros! I can finally talk to a real-life anime character! before you send him off, I'm making him binge watch it with me."
[Third-person perspective]
*David Attenborough voice*
A peculiar sight is to be seen as a weeb, a goddess, a god and a Japanese man sit in the middle of the void watching TV.
The blonde-haired, brown-eyed weeb can be seen in her natural habitat. She sits in a trance-like state, something that is incredibly normal for her species. If one was to look closely, you could also see the drool leaking from her mouth.
We can see the other figures with a confused look on their face. Something natural when in the presence of a weeb.
[Back to Kai]
"Why is this show so perverted?" Cynthia points out the question we have all (ignoring Amara) been thinking since the start of the show.
Cynthia turns and looks at me with a weird expression on her face. "Is this how humans react whilst eating?"
'You're surely not serious are you' surprised by the ignorance of both of the goddesses. I humour her, hoping that she isn't as dumb as the weeb.
"Sigh... the audience for this kind of show, and many other shows are quite perverted, so they do this as fan-service" I explain.
"Wait, this is the best part!" Amara jumps up and says passionately.
I look at the TV and now it shows a girl named Erina tasting egg fried rice.
"Naniiiiiiii" Erina's clothes disappear and now she is surrounded by bees with a human face.
For the first time since my arrival here, I see the same expression on Eros' face. We both give each other a look with a clear meaning of…
'this is so fucking weird.'
[Fast forward 12 hours and 30 episodes later]
At this point I'm actually into the show, ignoring the "ecchi" parts. Its unique portrayal of cooking was enough to ignite my passion for cooking.
"See! I knew you'd like it! And you told me that not every Japanese person likes anime, I knew that was bullshit.'"
She looks at me smugly with a look that said 'I knew I was right'
I decide not to humour the weeb and instead cough loudly.
"Uh" "where am I?" both Cynthia and Eros had fallen asleep during the third episode of the show, leaving me the only being with some sense of normality conscious in the space.
"Ahem. So is the show done yet?" Eros asks, now awakened from his beauty sleep.
"Actually, there are at least another thirty episodes left!!" Amara picks up the remote, ready to play another episode.
"Amara! Please no more! I promise I'll watch it and we'll talk about it next time we see each other!" I look at her pleadingly.
"Butttt, I don't know when I'll next see you" she gives me the puppy eyes.
Eros puts his hand under his chin, looking as if he is in deep thought "Amara, Kai. Why don't I just send you to that world".
Amara looks at me and says eagerly "Are you serious???"
"Can we pleaseee" she turns and looks at me pleadingly.
I sigh "okay, that's fine with me… seems like a fun place to be, anyway. Wait… we?".
"Amara, I can't actually give you a physical body when sending Kai to the new world, but I can make it so you can at least watch him. Of course, this is totally controllable by Kai. You can also communicate with each other if you want" Eros says, looking at the eager face of Amara.
"Think of it as a video call. You can turn it off whenever you want". Seeing the reluctant expression on my face, he explains further.
*sigh* I look to my right and see the adorable, pleading look on the weeb goddess.
"Okay. Let's do this" having nothing to lose other than probably having to talk to a weeb, I accept his offer.
'This girl can be adorable when she's not being a weeb….'
'Kai…'
'Remember… you're not a lolicon.'
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone