Chapter 92: Emotion
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Lorian hummed happy to herself as her body materialized into existence, the slight lurching sensation of teleportation all too familiar to her at this point. She kind of liked it, honestly.
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With the sensation of teleportation, shortly followed the sight of her beloved's face. Heehee.
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With a big smile on her face, Lorian swung the door open and-
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"OW!"
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"Eh?"
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Lorian had felt a distinct resistance on that door swing. And indeed, peeking into the house, rubbing her forehead, was a slightly-upset Aisha, cute expression on her face. But the expression quickly grew surprised and flustered, as she heard a giggle from above her, and her body lost gravity, a pair of arms circling around her legs and waist.
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Now face to face with her adored partner, Lorian nuzzled her cheek adoringly, hugging her close to her chest.
"My poor Aisha…" She cooed. "I'm so sorry for hurting you. You're such a good girl… do you want me to kiss it better?"
Aisha tried to resist the blush that crept up on her face at the adoring words, stammering. "U-uh-uuh-"
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"What was my cute little kitten even doing there?" Lorian pursed her lips, walking the both of them over to the cuddle-couch. One of many cuddle-furnitures.
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Aisha bit her lip in despair at the question. She had been trying to surprise her mistress, but if she knew that, then the teasing… Not that the teasing ever stopped. Not that she wanted it to. But…
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Lorian's lips curled into a mischievous smile.
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"Oh, what could my loving, adoring, submissive little kitten be doing, hiding next to the door at the time she knows that I get home?" She giggled. "Hmmmm…"
"I-I wasn't doing anything!" Aisha squeaked, covering her face with her hands, brimming with embarrassment. "N-n-n-nothing at all!"
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"Could it be?" Lorian whispered mischievously, right into Aisha's ear. "Did my adorable little kitten… Who loves her mistress so much… Who loves ME so much… did she want to surprise me at the door?"
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"N-no!" Aisha squealed, trying vainly to hold back the inevitable wave of teasing. She hated that her mistress was so smart - so observant. At least, when it came to her. It seemed like she could look directly into her mind, pluck the thoughts right out of her head. It was unfair!
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"You're so cute." Lorian giggled all of a sudden, dropping the mocking and teasing, nuzzling Aisha in her arms. "I'm glad that you tried to surprise me. That makes me really happy. You're so sweet."
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Lorian cuddled Aisha closer, moving her hand aside to kiss her on the cheek. Aisha was silent, her cheeks still burning with embarrassment, albeit for a different reason this time. Lorian began to lavish the girl with attention, rubbing her hands all over the smaller girl's body, stroking her head and back, and caressing her face.
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"Good girl." Lorian cooed lovingly. "My good girl… mmm… Luv you so much, kitten… Love… Mmmmh… You're so cute… so cute… so cuuuuuute!"
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"I-I…" Aisha mumbled. "Luv you too miswess…"
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Lorian didn't respond, preferring to pull up her legs and clamp down on Aisha with her entire body, legs trapping the girl against her chest. For a while, they just sat like that, wrapped up together as close as they possibly could. Aisha breathed in her mistress's scent, as Lorian did the same. Aisha loved her mistress's smoky, warm smell. It smelled like… well, like home. And similarly, Lorian sighed contently as she basked in Aisha's sweet, slightly leafy scent. Slowly growing more in love with each other.
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But eventually, Lorian started to itch.
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"Ugh." Lorian whined, releasing her hold on Aisha to start to peel off her shirt and pants, missing the way that Aisha's eyes glued onto her skin.. "I hate clothes. Myeh."
"W-why?" Aisha asked quietly.
"They get all hot and sticky." Lorian pouted. "And they don't feel good."
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Aisha gulped.
"W-what about…" She blurted out, before she could even register why it was a bad idea.
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Hastily, the girl shut her mouth, recognizing what she was suggesting. She did not at all like the way that Lorian paused, making eye contact.
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"You wanna see?" Lorian whispered, smiling wide.
"N-NO!" Aisha squeaked.
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Aisha's heart ached as Lorian's expression turned sad for a second, her mouth flashing a frown - not a playful pout, like she usually would present, but instead, a genuine expression of sadness, mouth slightly open in disappointment. The words had come out teasing, but she had genuinely been excited that Aisha wanted to see her body.
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"O-Oh." Lorian whispered, looking away, wondering if her suggestion crossed some sort of line with the girl. "I… M- Is that… crossing…"
"N-no- wait." Aisha mumbled shyly. "I… I meant… m-maybe."
"But you said…"
"I do wanna see." Aisha said, curling up on herself in an attempt to quell the pounding in her heart. She definitely wasn't prepared. She definitely was not ready to see mistress's beauty fully unveiled. It would be like gazing at the sun.
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But before she could even say her concerns, she looked up and froze, seeing the last barrier between air and girlflesh tossed aside, landing in a messy pile with all of the rest of Lorian's clothes. Although Aisha couldn't even chide her mistress for being so messy. She was too enraptured at the sight of Lorian's bare breasts, smooth and perfect.
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She resisted the urge to touch them, as compelling as the urge was - gods, was she drooling?
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"P-perfect…" She whispered.
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The sight was beautiful, but as her mistress whined in her throat, Aisha looked up to see an even more gorgeous sight - her mistress blushing, looking away bashfully, embarrassment evident in her face. Suddenly, Aisha understood why the woman liked to tease her so much. The expression on her face…
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"T-that's…" Lorian mumbled, burning with embarrassment, her heart almost beating out of her chest.. She had not expected this reaction, these feelings! She had shown her breasts to dozens of people, but never had she felt this… this burning embarrassment! Why did… the sight of her little kitten, staring open-mouthed at her chest, like some idiot… why did it make her so flushed?
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She didn't like being embarrassed!
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Suddenly, a childish anger flared up inside the woman, and with her face still cherry red, she turned to Aisha, gripping her shoulders.
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"It's not fair!" She squeaked. "You have to show me yours too!"
"WHAT!?" Aisha sputtered, shocked out of her trance. She held her arms over her chest protectively, now sharing a bit of Lorian's red hue. "B-Bu-But-but-but you've a-a-aa-already seen them!! I-I-I-I-I m-m-mean t-there's nothing to s-see!"
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"No!" Lorian said petulantly. "Off, off off!"
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Aisha squealed in a register that had never come out of her mouth before, as the big girl started to force Aisha's clothes off of her body, unintentionally giving the girl a big face full of boob as they writhed together. As the globes made contact with her face, Aisha resisted the urge to sink into them - they were so ridiculously soft! So warm! Gods, if she could rest on top of those pillows, she wasn't sure she would be able to wake up again!
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But suddenly, she was pulled into reality, by the feeling of air on her bare breasts. And suddenly, her face was flushed scarlet as well.
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The two girls could barely look at each other, choosing instead to stare downwards, holding their arms.
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"U-um. Maybe that's… enough." Lorian whispered. "L-let's…"
"W-wait." Aisha squeaked quietly. "C-can we…*
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"Can we… hug?" Aisha whispered. "Like this?"
"W-wwwhat!?" Lorian cried, shocked, before quickly correcting her tone. "I-I mean… I mean… if you really want to…"
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Aisha bit her lip.
"I want to."
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Slowly, without looking, Aisha pressed their chests together, eyes going wide at the feeling of girlflesh squishing against her own. She held her breath, eyes wide in panic. It felt so fucking good, but she couldn't move. She didn't dare even breathe, out of fear that she would let something slip.
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Just two girls hugging naked! There was no tension. No tension at all!
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"L-let's put our clothes back on." Lorian whispered.
"Ok."
]
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"...Aisha."
"..."
"...Aisha!"
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"S-sorry?" Aisha mumbled, yanked out of her trance. "W-what?"
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"The food's burning." Celeste sighed, pointing at Aisha's pan, which, on top of almost burning, was on the cusp of falling off the stove and onto Aisha.
"Eek!" Aisha yelped. "Sorry!"
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"That's the third time you've spaced out in an hour." Celeste said tiredly. "I'll take over."
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"I'm sorry." Aisha mumbled, although she still stepped back, allowing Celeste to take over.
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"Evolve faster." Aisha muttered, pacing around. "Evolve faster. How do I… I have to…"
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"Aisha?" Celeste asked, a concerned note in her voice. "What are you doing?"
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Aisha's legs buckled slightly in her heels as she stopped abruptly, freezing in place like a deer in the headlights, staring at the large woman. Although she hadn't done anything wrong, there was that underlying sense of… terseness, like she was just waiting for Celeste to tell her that she had done bad.
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"N-nothing." She mumbled.
"That's a lie." Celeste said neutrally.
"I…"
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"..."
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Aisha didn't finish her sentence. However, Celeste didn't seem to be satisfied with that..
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"What." She said, deadpan.
"..."
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Celeste just sighed, shaking her head in frustration.
"Maybe this isn't going to work out, Aisha." She sighed.
"W-what isn't going to work out?" Aisha asked fearfully.
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"I can't keep you here." Celeste said tiredly. "Just go."
"B-but-" Aisha protested. "Why?"
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"Aisha, we're just not that compatible." Celeste mumbled. "What you want from this relationship, and what I want… are different. I can't take you leaving all the time. I don't want to worry about you, for months on end. I just can't take it, Aisha! I'm not that kind of girl."
"W-wait, but…" Aisha hesitated, looking down at her feet. "C-Cel…"
"...'
"..."
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At the sight of tears forming on Aisha's face, Celeste just sighed, a small twinge of pity entering her heart, although she could no longer muster up the concern that she once felt for the girl. She reached out and pet the girl on the head, hugging her, but the hug lacked warmth.
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"Aisha, it's nothing against you." Celeste said quietly. "You just… you need to find yourself. I wish I could help you… but… I."
"What's the but?" Aisha whimpered desperately. "Why are you telling me to leave?"
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"Because you don't want to stay, Aisha!" Celeste said, exasperated. "You want to save your friends, you want to become stronger, you want to feel good about yourself, and get a shiny plate - and that's fine! That's fine! But I can't… I can't handle this. "
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"I-I… I promise to be a better girlfriend!" Aisha cried, with a dry mouth.
"You don't love me!" Celeste argued. "Aisha, look at me!"
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Aisha just looked at the plump woman with a hurt expression, ears flat against her head.
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"When you look at me - when you actually look… Do you actually love me? Could you imagine… could you imagine spending a whole day with me, just enjoying spending time with me? Could you imagine giving up adventuring for me?"
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Aisha just stood there for a few minutes, processing Celeste's words, hands fidgeting and eyes wavering.
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"So you're just going to leave me?" Aisha whispered.
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"Aisha…" Celeste sighed, dropping to her knees and holding Aisha's hands in her own. "Don't you have someone you're doing all this for? You were always going to leave me!"
"I do love you…" Aisha whimpered.
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"I know you do…" Celeste chided. "But I don't think you love me the way you think you do. We can still be friends. I'm not leaving you, okay? I just… we're not going to have any obligations towards each other anymore."
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"But…" Aisha protested weakly.
"This is just going to make both of us unhappy." Celeste reasoned. "This way… at least we can still be friends."
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"...Okay." Aisha whispered. But the girl's expression stayed in that frozen expression of despair.
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"That's great." Celeste smiled.
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[
"It's been staring at me the entire time." Aisha whispered.
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"...What has?"
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"The key to my evolution."
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Aisha's shadow stared uncomfortably at her mirror, the features almost identical at this point, horns almost two inches long. Although the expressions were entirely different, in an ironic kind of twist - Aisha's face was full of manic determination, while her shadow's face was full of apprehension.
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"I know what you're going to say, and it's dangerous. I can't-"
"Everything we do is dangerous!" Aisha snapped. "You saw - we want to be stronger than the dragonslayer, right? That means we have to evolve! We can't possibly reach that level of strength just practicing shit in a field!"
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"I don't want that!" Her shadow cried.
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Aisha paused. "...What do you mean by that."
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"Like I said." The demon sighed. "What we want is… different."
"And what do you want?"
"I don't want to fight." She whispered. "I don't want you to fight. I want us to be happy."
"I'll never be happy without her."
"But does that require destroying yourself?"
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"YES!" Aisha exploded, a frantic, crazed look on her face. "LOOK AT- look at… look at how badly we treated Celeste. Look at how shit of a girlfriend we were. Of even a friend. There's no way…"
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Aisha's head sunk, despair entering her expression, and her next words came out in a whisper. "There's no way mistress would take me back the way I am. Even when we together, I… I never did anything for her. I was a selfish lover, and I don't even- I don't even…"
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"I don't even know…" Aisha's voice started to waver, her voice coming out choked. "I don't even know if she loved me as more than just a pet. We never… I never… She didn't even ever tell me about her past. I didn't tell her about mine. We didn't do anything but - but cuddle. We had - we had fun together, but I… we never…"
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Aisha shook her head.
"Do you understand?" She asked desperately. "I can't just - I can't just go back to her, after LEAVING HER - I- I- I have to… I have to make it up to her, I have to be… I have to be good enough for her!"
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"I know." The shadow whispered. "I feel everything you feel."
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Aisha's voice dropped to a low, dangerous register.
"Does that mean you will stand in my way?" She whispered. "Are you going to leave me too?"
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Despite sharing the same mind, the same soul, the same feelings with Aisha, the demon still felt chills go down her spine at the cold expression the girl wore, betraying a bit of the violence, the absolute hatred that the girl had, hidden under that cute exterior.
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"Do you know why I can stay whole?" The demon whispered. "I have… there might be 100 souls in me, at this point. So many memories…"
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"It's your will that keeps me together." The shadow said. "Your memories, your emotions… Even though you didn't have a soul, you are what keeps me whole."
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"So what?" Aisha asked coldly.
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"I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU GET HURT!" The demon cried. "I know that if I give you this power… if you get stronger, you'll just keep throwing into more and more danger! There's no happy ending at the end of this path! You're just going to die, and take me with you! Even if you beat everything, then what!? You're just going to decide that it's not good enough and - and…"
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The demon faltered, a defeated expression on her ashen face, as she sank to her knees. She shook her head at the ground, biting her lip.
"I see." Aisha mumbled.
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"Do you understand?"
"I do." Aisha said. "Then you understand my feelings as well?"
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"…"
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Aisha's demon just looked up with that same defeated expression, not at all surprised to see the girl with a hand pressed up against her own temple. The threat was clear. She would kill herself, if…
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"You would really do this to me?" The demon whispered.
"Without you, I'm dead anyways." Aisha said quietly. "Without this, I'm nothing."
"I knew you would do this."
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"Then you know I'm serious, too."
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The wispy figure just slumped her shoulders, looking downcast at her lap. A smaller body soon filled the space, and a far more solid pair of arms circled around the demon's neck. Being a reflection of Aisha's self, she was immune to the fey's charms. But it didn't mean that she didn't feel a strange comfort when Aisha climbed all over her. Strange because they didn't possess any physical bodies. But despite that, the affections she felt…
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Did it mean Aisha was a narcissist?
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"I need you." Aisha whispered. "You… you know what I really am. More than anyone. Even mistress. It makes me really happy that my little sister cares about me this much. But I made up my mind a long time ago. Won't you help your big sister?"
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"I want a name."
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"Huh?"
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"A name." The demon bit her lip. "You never remember anyone's name. I want you to give me one. That way you'll never forget."
"What about… Aiushtha?"
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"You just changed up your own name." The demon mumbled.
"Do you like it?"
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"...You are my creator, Aisha." Aiushtha whispered. "You gave me form. You give me nourishment. Of course…"
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The demon's words came to a mumble at the end of her sentence, something that Aisha found really cute.
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"I trust you." Aisha said quietly. "More than anyone."
"That's very easy to say."
"Does it make it less true?"
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There was a short silence, before slowly, the form beneath her began to turn wispy, losing its form. The smoke began to surround Aisha, and she closed her eyes, breathing in.
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It was a familiar sensation, but still, Aisha didn't think she would ever get used to the feeling of being… a part of a whole. One half of another being. To have another consciousness inside of her head, thoughts of… peace, sadness…
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The feeling that was strongest of all was… longing. It made her heart ache.
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But they had a purpose. A job to do - they had to protect their friends, they had to make something of themselves!
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Aisha grimaced as the memories filled her head. Actions that weren't her own, emotions that weren't her own - experiences that weren't her own. But there she was, in different bodies, thinking thoughts that weren't her own - or were they her own? It was difficult to tell - who was she-
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A soothing voice echoed in her mind. Soothing memories. Of… of… of mistress. That was right. Everything else, felt… wrong. But mistress… the comfort, the love, the aching in her heart… such a familiar feeling…
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(You are Aisha.) A wispy voice, oh so similar to her own, whispered into her mind. (This is who you are.)
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That was right. Her true self… nothing else mattered but her love for mistress. Everything else… her memories had… HER memories… all of them linked back to her.
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(What do you want to see?) Her voice whispered.
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"Give me…" Aisha struggled out. "I want… I want the memories from one of the agents. I want their training. I want their knowledge. Everything about magic, or casting…"
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Aisha grit her teeth as another storm of memories rushed through her head - but she bore through it, feeling the mist around her - caressing her, holding her - the touch grounded her, kept her from splitting apart.
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[
"AAAAAGH!" Aisha screamed, as a jolt of lightning surged through her bulky, heavy body.
"Wrong pathways!" Mihyang shouted gleefully. "Your stomach, not your chest!"
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Aisha tried the spell again clumsily, trying to funnel the mana through her stomach-
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Another painful shock. "FFFFFUCK YOAAAAGH!"
"It was the arms, this time!"
]
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Aisha collapsed to the ground, sweating and panting, eyes wide open. Her head felt like it was going to split open. It burned - trying not only to process the memories, but also trying to keep a hold on herself.
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"Mistress." She mumbled tiredly. "Mistressss…"
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(Should we stop?) She thought.
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(No! Keep going!)
]
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"Uuuurrrgghhh…"
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Many citizens of the capital, that day, glanced strangely at the fey girl, clutching her head and stumbling through the streets, as if she had drank too much the night before. Certainly, not a sight that was terribly uncommon, if not for the fact that the sun was already setting.
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Aisha's head burned. She had a headache, and she was experiencing pain like she never had before. She could barely keep herself upright.
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Nevermind. She couldn't even keep herself upright.
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The cool ground was a nice solace from the splitting, searing pain in her head. It was subsiding, but… not nearly quick enough. She wanted to cry. She didn't even know where she was.
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"Hey!" Someone shouted. The piercing yelling made Aisha curl up into a ball, in an attempt to shut out the noise. It didn't actually help, but the gesture brought a small amount of respite to the piercing pain.
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The figure said something again, and Aisha could only moan in response. The yelling stopped, and for a second, Aisha rested, calming her breath, until…
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"EEEAAAAAAAHHH!!!" Aisha shrieked, as her entire body spasmed. All the muscles in her body fired at once, tensing and cramping as her limbs twisted.
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Aisha twisted towards her assailant, murder in her eyes, and threw her fist, fulling intending on boring a hole through the chest of whoever thought it would be funny to shock her.
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But Aisha was shocked when the tall assailant caught her hand by the wrist, gazing down at her with a tired expression.
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"Hey, kid." Vega said impassively, crossing her arms. "Having a nice nap?"
"Who are you!?" Aisha demanded, squinting her eyes as she struggled to recognize the conspicuous-looking woman in front of her. She probed her memories for a second, but instantly regret it, some of that throbbing pain from earlier making itself known again.
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"Ha ha." Vega rolled her eyes, as Aisha rubbed her forehead. "Very funny. Now get up."
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"I…" Aisha struggled out, her pain subsiding a bit. "You're… that guy..?"
"Hm."
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Trying desperately to sort her mind out, Aisha let herself be taken by the hand and dragged off.
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"...Why did you take me here?" Aisha whispered, as she tucked herself underneath the comfy covers, two pillows underneath her head, and another clutched close to her chest. She looked around the inn room that Vega had dragged her to, the tall woman's meager belongings tossed neatly in a corner.
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"You weren't drunk, were you?" Vega muttered.
"...No."
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"I'm not going to ask what you were doing back there." Vega said, plopping herself down in an armchair. "I'm not even going to ask why you don't want to go. But the reason why you're here… is so I can-"
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"I'll go." Aisha whispered.
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Vega raised her eyebrow. "You change your mind? That fast? Why?"
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Aisha hesitated. "I… for my friend. I want to… I want to help Sui. And you. T-thank you. B-by the way."
"Huh?"
"For saving me." Aisha whispered. "You lost your arm for me."
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"Ah." Vega pursed her lips, before smiling a genuine smile, lips curling upwards. "No problem. Hah. That's funny."
"What is?"
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"Adventuring is a thankless job, kid." Vega said, half-smiling with the corner of her mouth. "Even at my level… you're treated like some dog, begging for scraps. It hurts their pride to ask for help. Hurts 'em even more when they gotta actually pay up."
"What's the funny part?"
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"The first person to thank me for a job… for years, was another adventurer."
"Oh."
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"I was going to retire, you know. Before all of this." Vega sighed. "Had a contract, too. One last dragon."
"...You look…" Aisha said hesitantly. "Tired."
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Vega looked wistfully into empty space, thoughts rushing rapidly across her eyes.
"Well, after a while, you just start to wonder… what is all of this for?" She mumbled. "I'll die eventually. I made a name for myself, sure, but… what good is a name, when that's all you've got?"
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"You've still got a lot of life before you." Aisha said quietly.
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Vega smirked. "Easy for you to say, Fey. For us humans… well, it's kinda ironic. We live so little, compared to all the other races. But despite that, we're so quick to throw away what little time we have."
"What do you live for?" Aisha asked.
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Vega sighed, a frown entering her features. "It's been so long, I can't even remember."
"What about your friends?"
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The tall woman lifted a leg over the other, resting her chin on an open palm in a reflective gesture. Her eyes were distant as she spoke, not quite looking at anything.
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"The girls at Gehenna are great." She mumbled. "The only friends I've ever had. But I dunno. They're a little…"
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"...?"
"Nevermind. Go get some sleep. We've got work to do tomorrow."
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Lithkren
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