Chapter 28: Twenty-Seven
Everyone around me had jumped to their feet and begun cheering. My members were shouting in joy and hugging each other. All I could bring myself to do was rise to my feet in utter disbelief, jaw dropped. I wasn't entirely sure of how to react- or rather- whether I should be reacting at all.
I had heard that correctly, had I not? I was reading the name flashing on the big screen properly, was I not?
S.T.A.Y.
"Jeongwoo! Jeongwoo!" Hanseol caught me by my shoulders and turned me towards himself, his face lit up in a way that I had never seen before. "Ya!"
Jaehyeon then caught my face in his palms and made me look at him. "It's us! It's really us!"
It was us…
The emotions crept up to my chest even before the smile could reach my lips. An eternity seemed to pass before reality sank in.
S.T.A.Y had just won our first ever award since debut. And it wasn't just any award. We had won 'Best Song' at the Music Awards for 'To You'.
We had actually won.
"Come on, let's go!" Jaehyeon turned me around towards the stage and all five of us went up from between the tables where all the top artists in the industry were either seated or standing, clapping for us. Even most of 04:00 am was present. And they were all cheering for us and congratulating us for our first award.
I was aware of all that but I was still so overwhelmed by it all that my body was tingling and I couldn't quite focus on anything entirely. Even when we got up on stage and Mingyu accepted the award on our behalf, the only thing that I was really fully aware of was the burning sensation at the back of my nose.
Crap. I was going to cry…
"First of all… First of all." Mingyu stepped up to the microphone while the rest of us stood with him- Yeojun on his left and the rest of us on his right. He held up the award and looked around, breathing heavily. His voice was a bit gruff though. It was obvious that he was also getting emotional.
When I realised that and actually came to my senses entirely, Yeojun was biting his lower lip and scrunching up his eyebrows. Jaehyeon had an arm over my shoulders and he and Hanseol were just smiling. I was smiling too but I was starting to feel the sting of the tears that I was so desperately trying to hold back.
"This means… a lot to us." Mingyu spoke, taking deep breaths in between. "Just… thank you. Thank you so much for supporting us and our song. Thank you for choosing us." He bowed and stood up straight again but this time, his face was crumbling. "This, um… we-"
Ah. He cried.
Hanseol stepped in and turned the microphone towards himself. "I… really don't think any one of us is in a better position to speak right now. This award," he looked at the award that Mingyu was holding and placed a hand Mingyu's shoulder. "It's been four years since we debuted and… up until a few months ago, we were struggling. We have been around for so long and, well, it was starting to look like we weren't getting anywhere so… this year, this album and this song… This award… They mean the world to us. This is hope."
I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks.
Jaehyeon shook me a little and gave my shoulder a good squeeze. He didn't say anything though. He had gone silent.
"On behalf of all of S.T.A.Y, I want to thank… everyone who supported us and… True." Hanseol caught Mingyu's hand holding the award and raised it. "True, this one is for all of us!"
"Ah, seriously." I used the back of my hand to wipe off the tears only to have more spill forth and then bowed, saying out loud, "Thank you very much!"
The others followed suit. "Thank you!"
Yeojun came over to my side and held onto my suit's sleeve when we straightened up again. Hanseol took a sniff discretely before continuing to speak. "We will work hard here on out too. We will continue to make music that you can love and relate to. Once again, thank you!"
The whole venue was applauding us.
Even as we left the stage and headed for our table the way that we had gone onstage, we had many of the artists congratulate us. Bowing and smiling through the tears, we had somehow managed to reach 04:00 am's table which was near ours.
"S.T.A.Y!" Hyeonwoo Sunbae threw out his arms. "Our beloved Hoobae! Dongsaeng!"
Hanseol accepted that hug. "Sunbae!"
"Congratulations." Jaemin Sunbae too yelled. "I'm so happy for you!"
"You have made us proud!" Changmin grinned, looking at all of us in turn. "You deserve this."
"Thanks." Jaehyeon said and Mingyu gave them a bright smile too. "Thank you for your support and encouragement too."
"We're really happy for you. Congratulations." Baekjae Sunbae added and then looked at me as Youngjae Sunbae came over and patted my back. "How much will you cry?"
"I'm… done crying." I laughed and looked up to stop my tears fully. "This is just residue."
"What the hell?" Youngjae Sunbae and the others laughed too.
Stop crying, damn it!
"It's a happy day. There's nothing wrong with crying tears of joy." Hyeonwoo Sunbae said.
It definitely was a very happy day.
I looked at Changmin. He just smiled in return.
What? It's such a happy day and I don't even get a hug from you?
"Remember today, you all. Remember this feeling. You will never forget your first win. Your first win decides everything for you." Jaemin Sunbae said.
Beomseok Sunbae and Minho were not present because they had other commitments. The rest of 04:00 am were there. They had not been nominated for an award this time but they had won a couple of them before.
Ah. Screw this.
I left Youngjae Sunbae's side and went over to Changmin who was standing on the other side of the table. He chuckled when he saw that but readily gave me a hug. "I was expecting this."
"Then why did you just stay here?" I pouted.
He patted my head. "I had expected this but I had also wanted to see if you would come to me yourself."
"I… was crying. You are mean if you still felt the need to test me."
"Sorry. Sorry." He continued patting my head, then stopped and just placed his palm against my hair. "You've done well, Jeongwoo. You've done well."
"Thank you." I nodded, feeling all the more overwhelmed, then I let go as the others also said goodbye and began making their way to our table. "Are you staying till the end?"
"Hyeonwoo Hyung and I are. The others have something or the other to do early morning so they will leave after a little while. You?"
"We'll leave in an hour. We also have work early tomorrow."
"I see. That's too bad."
"Yeah. I would have liked to stay through the whole thing."
"It's okay. You'll find it all online tomorrow anyway." He then leaned in and whispered. "Even your crying face."
"It's a happy day!" I countered.
He laughed. "Go ahead then. Your members are already at your table."
"Okay." I nodded and returned to our table. The others were already seated by then and Yeojun was taking a good look at the award. I took my seat next to Jaehyeon. "I suddenly feel like I have a lot to say for this award."
"I know, right? Me too." Jaehyeon nodded.
"Even I feel like I could have spoken so much better. I did not know what to say up there." Hanseol said.
"Oh, come on! I started crying while speaking! You at least covered for us. That's more than enough." Mingyu barked, embarrassed.
"I did not know what to say then and I still don't know what to say now." Yeojun said and gave the award to me to look over. "I just wanted to cry."
"But… we did good." Hanseol said and sat back. "We won our first award and it's for 'Best Song'. That's huge."
"Congratulations to us." Jaehyeon raised a fist.
"Cheers to the fact that we did not give up when we could have." I added.
"This is just the start for us." Yeojun said. "From here, we're just going to grow further."
"I'm just… so happy that we're together." Mingyu said earnestly. "Just so happy."
"Me too." I nodded.
"That goes without saying." Hanseol said.
"Oh, Jeongwoo Hyung." Yeojun suddenly perked up on noticing something behind me from where he was sitting across the table from me. "Minsu Sunbae's… asking you to… check your phone? I think."
"Hyung?" I looked back over my shoulder to see Changmin smiling at me. He then mouthed and motioned with his hand. "Check your phone."
My phone?
I checked it. I had received a message from him. Opening it, I found an image- a picture of my own face, crying.
I face-palmed, half ready to jump out of my seat, snatch his phone and delete everything on it but then, when I thought about it, I realised that that would have been just a colossal waste of effort because the entire video was going to be available online anyway within a few hours. Forget Changmin, everyone was going to see it.
I texted back. 'You really are very mean, Hyung.' Then, I turned back to give him a glare. He chuckled and checked his phone immediately. When I saw him typing, I turned back to my phone.
'It's the least that I can do. <3'
Hm. 'I'll forgive it only because those were tears of joy.'
'Not because it's me who clicked it? I had thought that I had at least that much privilege.'
Well, that too. 'You think too highly of yourself.'
'That would be your fault. ;P'
What?
Another message arrived before I could reply to the earlier one. 'This is nice. Let's talk like this.'
Even though we were at different tables, we could talk just like this. I smiled. This really was nice. 'That's fine but we can't do it too much. The last thing we need is to get called for using our phones during the Music Awards. -__-'
'Once in a while is fine.'
It made me happy that he wanted to talk to me. 'Be discrete about it then.'
'You too. Stop showing everything on your face.'
I stopped smiling and looked back over my shoulder. From where he was sitting, Changmin did not need to turn to look at me. He could most probably see a little of my face from the side too.
Just then, a nearby cameraman brought the camera to 04:00 am. Changmin and the others smiled and waved at the camera. I watched and waited. Once the camera was gone, Changmin and I made eye-contact again. I maintained my poker face even as he smiled and waved to me.
Baekjae Sunbae, seated next to him, noticed this. He chuckled at the frolic between us and waved my way. I returned a smile and a wave, then sat facing forward again. Almost immediately, I received a message from Changmin.
'Wave to Baekjae but not to me? :('
'You told me not to show it on my face.'
'Now who's being mean? :X'
I chuckled and went back to my poker face immediately. 'Let's watch the award show. Text later.'
'Really?'
'Yes, Hyung. Really.' I would have liked to continue texting but I really did not want to give people something to point fingers at us for again. The rest of our members were with us too. 'I'll come see you before leaving.'
'Okay.'
That was all I got as a response.
What? Was he upset that I told him that we should stop? I quickly looked back at him but he wasn't looking my way anymore. His eyes were fixed on the stage.
I sighed and sat properly.
"Are you done?" Jaehyeon asked me, extending an arm over the back of my chair. He was looking at the stage. The next awardee had gone up.
"Sorry." I smiled sheepishly and put my phone away. "You know how Hyung is."
"I know how you are when it comes to things about your Hyung." He said. "Anyway, just watch the rest of the program."
I leaned back against his arm and looked at the award. "But, Hyung… We really did win 'Best Song'."
He chuckled and looked at me. "Why? Want to cry again?"
"No. I'm happy. Really." I looked around at the others too. "Everyone… I really love you. You know that, right?"
"What?" Mingyu laughed. So did the others.
"What's gotten you so mushy all of a sudden?" Yeojun asked. "Does winning an award make Hyung openly admit that he loves us? Let's win more awards then."
"You need only to love me, Jeongwoo-ya." Jaehyeon moved closer and smiled. "Don't cheat on me."
"Ugh. You ruined the mood." I sat up again and pushed him away, making the others laugh. "Can't you all just take what I say and leave it at that? I'm not going to say this without context so often you know." They were right about me feeling all mushy though. It was probably an after-effect of the award. I felt warm within- so warm that I could just cuddle up and sleep.
Since I was feeling all warm within anyway, I did not want to leave anyone upset. I took out my phone again and messaged Changmin. 'Hyung, you know that I love you, right?'
He read the message but did not respond.
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