Chapter 3: Thought about Suicide (2)
You know, it's easier for some people to speak about their problems to other. But for some people it's not. It's easier for women to open up, they don't get judged, they get support, but men, men are looked down by many if they dare to say they're not alright.
For many (including myself) suicide is an escape, the only in some cases. In my case I don't think it's the only option but it's the only one that is within my strength boundary.
In fact I don't have the strength to fight for another end. I spend most of my energy trying to figure out why am I in this situation. And even if I had the strength I wouldn't have the will.
You see, if suicide is a way to run away, then you have to run away from something (nothing surprising), but the reason you kill yourself is because you know no one can help you with this problem, you'll have to live with it forever. Some are able of such a feat, other not so much.
Something unbearable for someone could be the daily life of another. Everyone has their threshold.
Furthermore, when you begin to entertain the thought of suicide, you might want to avoid to worry your loved ones, everyone has their reason, so you begin to pretend, you pretend to be alright, you pretend that everything is fine.
The problem is, if you pretend and you decide to finally speak about your thought, people might take it as a joke, make fun of it and then dismiss it.
So you continue to live with it until a day when you can no longer continue
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