Chapter 28: 26
2 weeks later
"Jimin, stop!" I giggled as he continued to tickle my sides. "Ouch. It hurts. Stop!"
"That's what you get for throwing whipped cream in my face." He laughed.
"You did it first," I argued back through my giggling.
"Ahh, stop… too much… I can't breathe… "
"Do you accept defeat?" he growled, trying to mimic Taehyung's voice. That made me laugh even harder.
"Yes. Yes. Oh my God." I breathed out as he slowly stopped his attacker on my sides.
Taehyung
I paced the length of my office, my mind filled with Jungkook. He was all I could think about the
whole damn day. I couldn't get rid of his face. His frail body as I held him in my arms, his blood
surrounding us.
I had locked myself in the office so I wouldn't be tempted to go to Jungkook.
He needed time, I told myself.
But it was a struggle being away from him when all I wanted was to offer comfort.
I just wanted him to open up yet he stayed stubborn.
When a knock sounded at the door, I growled at the person to enter. The door opened and I turned
around to see Yoongi walking in.
"So?" I demanded when he closed the door. "Did he say anything?"
Yoongi's face was blank, his eyebrows drawn together as he regarded me impassively. He shook
his head at my question and then sighed.
When Jungkook had closed down on me, refusing to listen to a word I said, I thought that maybe
he would connect with Yoongi if he told him what he'd been through.
He was a man of few words.
He loathed talking about what happened, but I knew he wouldn't refuse me. As soon as I had laid
my thought on the table, Yoongi had nodded and left without saying anything.
I had hopes that maybe Jungkook would open up. If not to me or Jimin, maybe to Yoongi. But he
didn't.
"Nothing at all?" Taking a step back, I leaned against the table and crossed my arms across my
chest.
"No, boss. I tried, but he isn't ready. I don't think he will be ready any time soon," Yoongi responded.
I sensed a hint of understanding from his tone. It took him years to finally overcome his PTSD and
even now, he was not fully recovered.
"We just need to give him time," he continued, his voice softening slightly.
If there was someone who understood Jungkook to the core, then it was Yoongi. I swore under my
breath, running my hand through my hair in frustration.
"We can't push too hard."
"I know that," I said, glaring at him.
"What are you going to do now?" He asked curiously.
And that was a question that I didn't have an answer to. I was lost at what to do or how to deal with Jungkook. He was so fragile that I was scared of taking a step that would end up hurting him or worse, have him shutting down further.
"I don't know," I answered truthfully.
Yoongi grew silent at my response, the room was filled with tension and I turned my back, facing the large window that overlooked the back garden.
"But I will figure it out," I said with conviction.
"Do you need me for anything else?" Yoongi asked
Shaking my head, I dismissed him. "No. You can leave."
I placed both of my hands on the table and leaned forward. "What am I going to do with you, Jungkook?" I whispered, my eyes fixated on the window.
After a few minutes of staring into the distance, I straightened up and shrugged on my suit jacket before leaving the room. I planned to go downstairs for dinner, but instead, as I got closer to the stairs, my steps faltered.
Looking to my right, I stared at the hallway that led to Jungkook's room. It was tempting. I spent the whole day away from him and now I was standing just a few steps away.
Feeling frustrated at the uncertainty, I tightened my fingers into fists and took a step down the stairs, then stopped.
"Fvck it!" I hissed before moving back and walking toward Jungkook's room.
Stopping in front of his door, I took a deep breath and released it quickly before knocking at the door. My heart started to beat a little faster as I waited for his response.
Damn it! Was I nervous?
Swallowing hard at the realization, I started to think that this was a bad idea. I took a step away from the door and was about to leave when I heard his sweet voice.
"Come in."
That did it.
Those two words and his soft voice was enough to stop me from leaving. Placing my hand over the handle, I slowly opened the door and walked inside.
I found Jungkook sitting on the bed, the comforter covering his legs as he stared at the walls thoughtfully. His head snapped toward me when I entered the room.
"Taehyung," he whispered, his lips barely moving.
"Jungkook."
We stared at each other, both of us lost for words.
Instinctively, I took a step forward and walked closer, stopping beside his bed. His doe eyes blinked up at me surprisingly and he licked his lips nervously.
Clearing my throat, I asked softly, "How are you feeling?"
"Better," he replied quickly.
I was surprised he even answered, I didn't think he would. Cocking my head to the side, I stared at him questioningly. He shifted his eyes away from mine and looked down at his lap, his fingers twisting in the comforter.
"Did you eat yet?"
I questioned when I felt the air growing awkward around us.
I wanted to see him, yet I didn't know what to say.
Nothing about this man-made any sense to me and my reactions toward him made no sense either. He confused me, my conflicting feelings only made it more confusing.
Jungkook nodded. "I am not hungry. I ate lunch a little late."
"Okay."
Jungkook grew silent again and this time, I didn't know what to say. So I cleared my throat one more time and started to back away from his bed. His head snapped up and I saw his body slightly move forward. His mouth opened to say something but then he closed it.
"I just wanted to see how you are doing," I said gently, keeping my eyes on him. "I should go. You need to rest."
Jungkook's shoulders sagged and he nodded, his eyes growing sadder.
My brows drew together at his expression. Did he not want me to leave? I sighed and turned around.
As soon as I took a step away, his voice stopped me. "Wait," he called softly. Swivelling around, I faced him again.
"Yes?"
Perplexed by his abrupt call, I merely nodded in his direction, curious as to what he would say to me.
His hand fluttered to his throat and then he pushed a few strands of his hair behind his eyes, his hands slightly trembling with nervousness. I saw him swallow a few times with visible effort, trying to find his voice again. I waited, surprisingly patiently.
"I… want to thank… I mean… "
He stumbled over his words, stuttering badly over each one. Jungkook quickly snapped his mouth shut, his lips forming a hard line. His eyebrows furrowed together and he looked somewhat frustrated.
Jungkook closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths.
He sighed and then opened his eyes again.
"Thank you for the flowers," he said so quickly that I almost missed it.
His cheeks coloured in a beautiful shade of red and his gaze fell. He wiped his hands on the comforter over and over as he waited.
But I was completely lost.
Flowers?
What the fvck is he talking about?
"Flowers?" I echoed, not at all sure what he'd just said. Why was he thanking me for the flowers?
"Yes," he said, nodding toward his nightstand.
I followed his eyes and saw some flowers in a vase.
They were beautiful.
But they weren't from me.
"Jimin told me you got them for me. They are so beautiful," Jungkook murmured, making me turn toward him again.
Jimin?
Fvck.
This boy.
What the hell was he thinking?
My jaw twitched in anger.
He had overstepped his boundaries this time.
"Thank you so much," Jungkook whispered again, gazing up at me.
His expression took my breath away.
His brown eyes were twinkling and his face had softened, cheeks flushed.
With his sweet words and soft expression, I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth.
"Right. Flowers. I'm glad you like them," I said.
"I do," he breathed, looking back at the flowers again, a small smile appearing at the corners of his lips.
Jungkook gazed at the flowers, and when she didn't turn back around, I slowly started to step away. "I should go."
"Okay," he whispered.
"Okay."
After giving him a final look, I tore my gaze away. I swiftly walked out of his room, and as soon as the door was closed behind me, I let the anger take place.
"Jimin," I hissed.
Walking away from Jungkook's room, I made my way downstairs and straight into the kitchen, where I knew I would find Jimin. With each step I took, I grew angrier at the lies he fed Jungkook.
Stepping into the kitchen, I snapped loudly, my voice resonating with my annoyance and fury.
"Jimin!"
He jumped and swivelled around with a gasp, husband going to his chest in shock, eyes wide, but when he saw me, his shoulders sagged in relief. "You scared the crap out of me."
"Taehyung, what's wrong?" Hae-sook asked, coming to stand beside his son.
"I have to speak with Jimin," I growled.
Hae-sook's forehead creased in confusion and she faced Jimin. "What did you do now?"
"Me? I didn't do anything," he replied, his voice squeaking as he feigned innocence.
Taking a step forward, I grabbed his arm and started pulling him out of the kitchen. I heard Haesook sigh behind me and she grumbled, "Here we go again."
I pushed Jimin into the wall, my fingers still wrapped tightly around his arm. "You are hurting me, Taehyung."
I let go of his and he rubbed his arms, glaring at me. "This is going to bruise tomorrow."
And I didn't give a fvck.
"Don't test me, Jimin. Why did you lie to Jungkook?" I snapped in his face.
"Ahh, that." He rolled his eyes.
Smiling wide, he placed his hand over my chest and patted me. "I got this. Just leave it to me. I have everything planned out. The wedding. The babies."
I gaped at him in shock. "Jimin," I warned.
"Taehyung."
"Enough! I am done with your shit." Pointing a finger at him, I glared as my body vibrated with the force of my anger.
"No. You stop!" He rebuked, glaring just as fiercely.
If he was one of my men, my fingers would already be wrapped around his neck. He was lucky I considered him a brother and not someone who worked for me.
Jimin knew he could get away with anything, so he used it to his advantage.
Every.
Single.
Time.
"Why are you so stubborn? What are you trying to hide, huh? Your feelings?" He hissed angrily.
"Guess what? It's too late. You should have thought about that before you let Jungkook touch the piano. As soon as he played for you, you gave yourself to him."
Each word was like a knife to my heart. And it made me furious. I started to interrupt, but he continued, his voice trembling with his anger.
"You think I don't know? He plays the piano every single night. For you. You care, Taehyung, yet you try to hide it. Stop it. Just stop and fvcking admit it for once, that you care. Why is that so hard? Stop hiding behind your anger."
I scowled harder and snapped, "Jimin!" My voice came out louder than I expected and his eyes widened. He crossed his arms across, his mouth snapping shut. "You don't tell me what to do. This is none of your business. I want you to stay out of it."
He stayed quiet, mouth hardening in a thin line.
I stepped away and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration before letting out my breath in a long puff.
His words only made me angrier because they were true.
It was a truth I didn't want to acknowledge but Jimin had said it out loud, giving me no choice but to face it.
I did care. I hated to admit it, but I did care. Jungkook had successfully made his way into my heart, making me feel after so many years.
"You should have seen his face when I told Jungkook you gave the flowers," Jimin whispered.
"The way his face lit up, his eyes twinkling, and he smiled."
At his words, I felt my fury slowly leave my body. I sighed and sagged against the opposite wall. "You are giving him false hope, Jimin. He will only get hurt in the end. I'm not the man for him."
"But—"
"No. Stop whatever you are thinking or planning. Wedding? Babies? Are you crazy, Jimin? Don't be delusional. There's none of that in this life."
"But if you let it happen, then maybe…"
I scoffed and then laughed, because what else was there to do? Did he forget what happened twenty-two years ago?
"My father let it happen and see where that got us," I said, my tone chilling.
He flinched and cowered back into the wall, his gaze falling. "That doesn't mean it will always end up that way. Maybe you just need to see the light and accept it."
"No. That's where you are wrong. Whatever I feel is a weakness. A weakness that will only hurt Jungkook in the end. This is not about me. It's about him."
And with that, I spun on my heels and stalked away, but not before I saw Jimin's shoulders sagging in defeat.
***
Dinner was the most painful.
There was only silence.
None of us spoke.
Only the noise of our utensils scraping the plates filled the room.
Everyone was lost in their thoughts.
But it was obvious we were all thinking about the same thing.
Jungkook.
After my conversation with Jimin, my chest felt tight, my heart heavy and aching. I wanted badly to let my guard down but I couldn't. It was agony keeping it inside when all I wanted was to go up and hold Jungkook in my arms.
When dinner was over, I silently pushed my chair away and stood up.
Nodding at the men, I walked away without a word and went upstairs. I was about to go into my room when I saw the door of the piano room open.
My eyebrows went up and I found myself frowning as I made my way to the room.
Stopping in front of the door, I pushed the door open wider and took a step forward. My heart stuttered when I
saw Jungkook sitting at the piano.
When he didn't move, I cleared my throat, alerting him of my presence. His head snapped up, his eyes flashing with alarm. His stance was immediately defensive, but when he saw me, I saw his shoulders falling with relief, the panic in his eyes disappearing.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice soft so that I didn't scare her.
Jungkook blinked up at me and then moved his gaze to the piano. "I wanted to play."
That made sense, but why wasn't he playing?
His next words took my breath away, I had to close my eyes as the wave of emotions went through me.
"I was waiting for you."
Opening my eyes again, I made contact with Jungkook's. "Okay," I responded, walking further inside the room. I didn't think I could deny him anything.
Taking my place on the couch, I leaned back and spread my legs in front of me, waiting for him to play.
And he did. But this time he didn't close his eyes. Instead, Jungkook kept his gaze on me. He played a different song, one that I didn't recognize, but it was just as beautiful.
And the person playing it with his sweet beauty, his gentle gaze, and his soft eyes… he made my unfeeling heart feel.
My cold heart accelerated with every second in his presence.
He was so fvcking beautiful.
Just like an angel.
The thought didn't make me cringe or get angry, I was just too lost in him.
And when the third song ended, Jungkook stayed seated, as if he didn't want to leave. Shockingly,
I didn't want to leave either.
"Aren't you tired?" I asked.
Jungkook shook his head.
"What do you want to do?" My voice was just above a whisper, our eyes focused on each other.
Jungkook shrugged and looked down to his lap.
I shifted my eyes away too and looked around the room. My gaze fell on the shelves that were filled with my mother's books.
Taking a deep breath, I asked, "Do you like to read?"
"Yes," he replied.
I pointed at the shelves. "There're plenty of books here."
It was hard saying the words. He was getting deeper and deeper into my world.
The piano.
And now the books. I didn't know why I asked him about the books.
The words had just tumbled out of my mouth before I could think clearly.
I heard Jungkook move and from the corner of my eyes, I saw him standing up. "I can use these books?"
When I nodded, he quickly made his way to the shelves. Jungkook took his time choosing a book and when he finally got one, he turned back around to face me.
"Can I borrow this one?"
"You can read whatever you want, Jungkook."
"Thank you," he said. Jungkook sat down on the couch beside me and curled his legs beneath. He laid his head on the arm of the couch and opened the book.
The room was filled with silence but it felt peaceful.
After a few minutes, I looked away and pulled my laptop that was sitting on the coffee table to my lap.
He read while I worked, trying to keep myself busy. But I was barely concentrating on my emails.
My gaze kept moving back to Jungkook.
And I started to see him slowly fall asleep.
His doe eyes closed, his breathing even and soft as he succumbed to his tiredness and sleep.
Placing my laptop back on the coffee table, I pushed myself up and stepped toward Jungkook's sleeping form. I took the book out of his grasp and placed it beside my laptop.
Leaning down, I carefully wrapped an arm behind his back and the other behind his knees. I gently pulled Jungkook up and cradled him to my chest, making sure that he didn't wake up.
He moaned sleepily, then laid his head on my shoulder.
Eyes closed, I was sure he was still asleep.
I walked into his room and placed him down on the bed. Jungkook immediately curled into himself as I pulled the covers over his body.
I stepped away and stared at his sleeping face.
He looked so fragile.
Small.
A sense of protectiveness coursed through my body.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm my racing heart. I gave Jungkook a final glance and walked away, softly closing the door behind me.
I should have been more careful with him since the beginning.
I shouldn't have let myself get in so deep.
Now it was too late.
But as soon as he let me go, I twisted around and caught him by the legs. Giving him a challenging look, I trapped his legs underneath mine and started to tickle back.
It was my turn to laugh.
"Got you!"
Jimin was struggling and gasping for air through his laughter.
"Jimin! Jungkook!"
I quickly stopped tickling him when I heard Hae-sook's voice from behind me.
"Busted," Jimin whispered.
Rolling off Jimin, I stood up and straightened my dress while he did the same.
"What did you do to my kitchen?" she gasped. The horrified look on her face was funny. Bringing my hand up, I coughed into my palm to mask my laughter. Jimin didn't even try to hide it.
"There is whipped cream everywhere! You guys were supposed to make dessert, not turn the kitchen into dessert!" Hae-sook said almost angrily, with her hands on her hips as she levelled us both with a glare.
"Sorry, Hae-sook. We will clean it up. Promise," I said with a smile and blinked innocently at her.
"Don't try to act innocent with me, young man. Jimin is rubbing off you," she remarked.
Jimin laughed again and linked his arms through mine. "Definitely," he said with a wink.
Hae-sook shook her head but I saw the smile peeking on the corner of her lips.
"Don't worry, Mom. Jungkook and I will clean it up in no time."
"You better. C'mon. Hurry to work now," Hae-sook replied before turning around and walking out of the kitchen.
"Hae-sook is right. We did make a mess of the kitchen," I said with a sigh as I looked around.
It had been two weeks and I felt like I had been given a new life.
Two weeks and I'd had no nightmares, my sleep filled with peacefulness.
Two weeks of only laughter and smiles.
I felt happy that I had never felt before.
At first, I was scared that maybe all of this was a dream. I was scared that all of it would be taken away from me.
But when I woke up each day and was still living this life, I started to hope that maybe this was it.
This was my new beginning.
"Done?" Jimin asked. Her voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I smiled. Looking at the cleaned counters, I nodded.
"Done," I replied.
When we reached the top of the stairs, I stopped dead in my tracks. In the process of doing so, Jimin had to stop too.
"Huh? What's wrong?" he asked.
All I could do was stare in front of me in shock.
Not again.
Then I heard Jimin mutter angrily. "Seriously?"
There he was, Taehyung, he wasn't alone, he was with a woman, a blonde I had seen in his office one time.
Taehyung had her pressed against the wall, with her legs wrapped around his waist. They were kissing and didn't appear to realize we were standing there.
"Seriously, dude. You wanna fvck, then get a room. That's what rooms are for," Jimin hissed loudly.
Taehyung's head snapped back and he stared at us, his gaze laced with lust. I shifted my eyes away.
"Well, you can leave if you don't want to see anything," The woman fired back.
"This is a hallway. Anyone can pass through and nobody wants to see your saggy boobs hanging loose, so get a room," Jimin said, his voice calm yet filled with venom.
"You know… " The woman started to say, but she didn't finish.
Taehyung had opened his door and was about to go inside, with Nayeon still wrapped around him like a vice. She turned her head toward us and gave us a smirk. That was the last thing I saw as the door closed.
"That little bitch. I swear to God, I will rip those fake hair extensions off her head one day. She makes me so violent. And I swear, I'm not a violent person," Jimin fumed beside me.
"Why do you hate her so much?" I asked as we entered my room.
"Is that even a question, Jungkook? She is freaking annoying. Nayeon thinks that just because Taehyung fvcks her, she is special. Like, bitch, please, he fvcks anyone." I watched as Jimin's face contorted with his displeasure. "Nayeon probably thinks that he will marry him one day. So delusional. Taehyung doesn't even care for her. She is just so easy and always comes for more. If she never comes back, Taehyung wouldn't even bat an eye or go looking for her. He has plenty lining up for him."
"Hmm," I said, stretching out beside him.
"But I hate him because she's ruining my ship."
My forehead creased in confusion at his words. "What's a 'ship'?"
Jimin's eyes went wide for a second and then he shook his head. Biting down on his lips, shrugging. "Nothing."
"Come on. What're you talking about?"
"It's nothing," Jimin said as he sat up.
***
"Goodnight," I called, waving at Jimin as I made my way upstairs.
Dinner was over a long time ago and after cleaning the dining room and kitchen, we decided that it was time to call it a night.
I stopped at the piano room but didn't knock.
This was my routine.
Well, our routine.
Taehyung and I would avoid each other during the day and at night, I would play for him before going back
to our bedrooms.
It was our unspoken agreement.
Gentle and sweet Taehyung was only at night.
During the day, he was cold Taehyung.
And a teaser too.
I was back to being called "kitten."
If there was a time we crossed paths by accident, he would give me the same heated look. He would tease me with his slight touch and then walk away as if nothing happened.
But today, after what I saw in the hallway, I felt a little apprehensive. My stomach was twisted in knots. I was embarrassed for both me and him. I knew he didn't care, but I did. It felt weird to catch him in such a compromising position.
But I also wanted to play the piano, it had become my obsession.
At the same time, it wasn't just the piano.
I treasured the small, gentle, and silent moment that Taehyung and I shared every night.
We barely talked.
I played and he listened.
And then we would go to sleep.
Still, it was important to me.
So, I raised my hand and knocked on the door.
When I heard him call me in, I opened the door and walked inside before closing it behind me.
Tonight Taehyung was sitting on the couch as always, but this time he had his laptop. He was typing furiously, but when I got closer, he looked up and stopped.
I smiled but he didn't.
As always.
Taehyung closed his laptop and placed it on the coffee table before leaning back against the couch and stretching his legs in front of him.
That meant one thing.
He was ready for me to play.
Giving him another smile, I walked to the piano and sat down behind it. My eyes closed and my fingers moved.
The sweet melody came through and my muscles relaxed.
I played that song every night, while quietly singing the lyrics.
With each song, my chest grew fuller with contentment.
It felt like I was flying.
I was free.
After two songs, I opened my eyes and stared at Taehyung.
And like every night, his warm blue eyes were fixated intensely on mine as he watched me play.
I played the third song, our gazes still locked.
We stared.
We breathed.
I played.
I sang.
He watched.
And it was the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced.
After the third song, I stopped.
Taehyung kept his eyes on me as I stood up.
Walking slowly toward him, I stopped a few feet away.
"Goodnight," I whispered.
"Goodnight," he said.
And every single night, those were the only words spoken by us.
Giving him a soft smile, I walked out of the piano room. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. My heart continued the same pitter-patter dance.
I walked to my bedroom with the same constant smile on my face. When I got inside, I quickly shrugged off my black dress and put on the light pink nightdress that Hae-sook bought for me. I crawled into bed and closed my eyes.
Moving my hand under my pillow, I searched for Taehyung's jacket.
But my hand only made contact with the mattress. My eyes snapped open and I quickly sat up.
Pushing my pillows away, I looked for the jacket.
I couldn't find it.
No.
No.
No.
Jumping out of my bed, I went around my bedroom, desperately looking for his jacket.
My peace.
I couldn't sleep without it.
I needed it!
But it was nowhere to be found.
I was breathing hard, my hair a wild mess. I pressed my clammy hands against my chest as panic coursed through my body.
Sun-Young had cleaned my room this morning. She must have found it and taken it away. I was so stupid, I should have known but I had completely forgotten.
Sinking on my bed, tears blinded my vision and they fell freely down my cheeks.
I couldn't sleep without it.
The nightmares would come back.
I laid down and hugged my legs to my chest, sobbing into my pillow.
"Did you want him? Huh? Answer me!" Byungchan hissed as he continued to rain the whip down my bareback.
"No!" I cried out as pain blinded my vision.
My back and my legs were on fire, I was naked and tied in a spread-eagle position. The chains from the ceiling were wrapped around my wrists, holding me up. My toes were barely touching the ground.
"I saw the look you were giving him! You wanted to fvck him, didn't you? You wanted his cock inside you, huh?"
I shook my head violently and cried out when the whip made contact with my back again. "No," I gasped. "I didn't do anything. I don't want him."
It was true.
The man was giving me weird looks all night. He even tried to touch me, I had tried my best to stay away from him. I barely even looked at him, he made my skin crawl but Byungchan being himself, only believed what he wanted. If a man wanted me, it was my fault.
I tempted him.
It was my body.
Me.
It was all my fault.
And I had to pay for it.
Because I betrayed him.
My body betrayed him.
"Byungchan, please."
But he was relentless.
He showed me no mercy.
Fisting my hair around his fingers, he pulled my head back sharply. I winced at the pain that shot through my neck. He slapped me hard against the face and I tasted blood where his ring cut my lips.
"Liar! You whore!" he spat in my face.
"Please. Believe me," I begged.
"You are mine! Mine! Your body is mine! Your lips are mine! Your ass is mine! Do you understand! All! Mine!"
Byungchan hissed through gritted teeth.
His fingers bit into my cheeks as he grasped my chin, making me look him straight in the eye. I quickly nodded and agreed, hoping that he would stop his torture.
"Yes. Yes. I'm yours, Byungchan. I belong to you. Only you! My body is yours! Please... I'm sorry!" I sobbed.
My body was burning.
My cheeks were aching.
My heart was pounding and breaking.
"You need to be taught a lesson. Then you will understand," he said, letting my chin go.
Raising the whip high in his hands, I flinched before it made contact with my body, when it did, I screamed in agony.
When he was done abusing my body, he dropped the whip and started to unzip his pants. His cock was already hard.
Closing my eyes, I waited for what would come next.
But no matter how much I tried to prepare myself, the pain was always the same. It always felt like I was being cut from the inside. I cried out as he slammed into me, my toes completely leaving the ground.
He painfully rammed inside of me a few times and then he was roaring his release. Pulling out of me, he grabbed my chin again.
"Look at me!" he ordered harshly.
My eyes snapped open and I stared at his furious black eyes.
His lips slammed down on mine and I winced.
It hurt.
Pulling back, he pressed his nails into my cheeks.
"You are mine, Jungkook. Never forget that."
My eyes shot open.
Sitting up in bed, I felt sick and my skin was burning, it felt like I had just been whipped.
My stomach twisted violently and I struggled out of my bed, I limped to the bathroom and fell in front of the toilet before retching.
I gagged.
Vomited.
And cried.
I was shaking uncontrollably and dizziness clouded my vision as I continued to sob.
The pain.
Oh, God, the pain.
It was pressing down on my chest and I couldn't breathe.
Everything was going too perfectly.
This was supposed to be my new beginning.
I had hope and I thought I had moved on.
But how false it was, there was no hope, no peace.
It was all a dream.
A fantasy.
False hope.
A Jaded hope.
I was living in a constant nightmare.
What was the point of living?
What is the point of continuing?
All I felt was pain, indescribable pain.
Looking up, I noticed the shaving razor Jimin had given me, it was on the counter next to me as if
it had been placed there for me to use at this moment.
Moving to my knees, I reached for it, I held it in my shaky hands as my harsh breathing continued
to fill the bathroom.
My hands were trembling so hard that the razor almost fell out of them, I grasped it hard. Moving back, I sat against the tub and pulled my knees up to my chest as I stared at the razor.
I wanted silence.
I didn't want to hurt anymore.
The tears continued to run freely down my cheeks, the evidence of my past and pain.
I didn't know what I was doing, I couldn't think straight.
All I wanted is peace.
Byungchan's voice in my head was driving me insane.
Placing my wrist out, I held the razor to it.
Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back against the tub.
I didn't feel anything when I pressed it hard on my skin and dragged it upward. I opened my eyes and saw a long red line.
Blood.
It was seeping from the cut I had made. But I still didn't feel anything.
Why didn't I feel the burn?
Why didn't it hurt?
Growing frustrated, I placed the razor on my other wrist and pressed it down hard, twisting it in my skin. I made a similar cut to the other wrist.
Dropping the razor, I stared at the mess I made.
My skin was cut open and there was blood everywhere - It on my arms.
My nightdress.
The floor.
The bathroom swam in front of me and my vision blurred so terribly that I barely saw anything. My head rolled back and my body started to sink on the floor.
I fell sideways, my head hitting the floor hard.
Black dots appeared in front of my vision and I started to go numb.
I felt nothing.
And for a brief moment, it was beautiful.
As my eyes started to close and sank deeper into the darkness.
I smiled.
Silence.
There was only silence.
And that was all I needed.
***
Jimin
"Hmmm… " I murmured against Namjoon's lips.
"I miss you," he replied before giving me a quick peck.
Giggling, I pushed my fingers in his hair and pulled his lips back to mine, kissing him deeply.
"You saw me last night."
"I missed you the moment you left."
"Stop being so sweet," I replied, biting on his lips.
"Only for you, baby."
He was so sweet sometimes.
Jungkook was right.
I did love him.
But I was scared.
Was this the right thing?
Was he truly the one?
I always wanted epic love.
Is this my epic love?
He was sweet, caring, and gentle. But he never said that he loved me. I was waiting for him to confess first. And I was growing desperate as each day passed and there was no confession.
I felt his hands on my ass and he pulled me closer. I was sitting on the kitchen counter with my legs wrapped around his waist. I could feel him against my core.
"Not here," I whispered. "Mom is going to kill us."
"I know," Namjoon growled. He slightly pulled away and pouted. "fvck, baby, I need you."
"After breakfast?"
"Torture," he shot back. I jokingly slapped his chest and pushed him away from me. I was just about to unwrap my legs from his hips when I saw my mom behind Namjoon's back.
Oh shit.
Busted.
"Oh, God! Not on the counter. Please not on the kitchen counter!" Mom gasped.
I quickly pushed Namjoon away and jumped off the counter. "I swear, we were just hugging. We weren't going to take it that far."
Namjoon's cheeks were slightly red and I felt myself blushing too.
"Jimin," Mom warned.
"I know. I know. It won't happen again," I sighed.
"Well, I have to go. See you at breakfast," Namjoon said before leaving. Before he walked out of the kitchen, he sent me a wink.
Coward.
I couldn't believe he left me alone to deal with this.
Mom was glaring at me and I pouted, giving him my best puppy eyes.
"Mom. I swear we weren't going to do anything on the counter. It's clean," I said.
"Jimin, are you using protection? Please tell me you are protected."
Here we go again.
"I think I got that covered."
"Okay. I was just checking." She shrugged before moving to the oven. "Where is Jungkook?"
That was a good question.
He's late.
"I don't know. I haven't seen him," I said, growing slightly worried.
Mom stopped what she was doing and gave me a worried look too. "Do you want to check on him?"
"Yeah, I should," I agreed before making my way out of the kitchen. I quickly went upstairs and stopped in front of his bedroom but he didn't answer when I knocked.
Growing more worried and with panic going through my body, I opened the door and walked inside. "Jungkook?" I called.
There was no response.
He wasn't in his bedroom.
Was he with Taehyung?
Those two were so adorable.
If they didn't get together any time soon, I would have to take care of it myself. Both of them were too stubborn. They needed a helping hand.
I was about to turn back around when I saw the bathroom light on, my eyebrows pulled up in confusion and I walked toward it.
Jungkook probably left it on.
I pushed the door open, the sight that beheld me took my breath away, causing my heart to drop in my stomach.
Letting out a scream, I ran into the bathroom and fell beside an unconscious Jungkook.
He was covered in blood.
"No. No. No," I whispered in panic and fear.
Pulling his body to mine, I held him close and noticed the long gash on his arms.
"Oh, God!" I cried. "Jungkook! Why?" I gasped as tears ran down my cheeks.
My stomach cramped and I felt sick. My heart was heavy like an invisible pressure was pressing down hard.
"No!" Pulling him tighter to me, his blood seeping my clothes.
I screamed.
"Mom!"
"Mom!"
Patting Jungkook's hair, I continued to cry.
"Taehyung!"
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone