Chapter 61: Chapter:59-Reacquaintance
A single sentence looped in Zhang Chengling's head.
That's it, that's the end of me!
During all the time he'd been following Zhou Zishu around, no event, whether big or small, had ever escaped his Shifu's keen foresight. The man was born an ever-vigilant worrywart.
Young and stupid, Zhang Chengling couldn't compete with the brain-power of those two, so he seized the chance to slack off. Day in, and day out, he thought of nothing at all, keeping his synapses utterly free of strain.
This time, though, with nobody to rely on, his mind raced.
Why are those women keeping Gao Xiaolian prisoner even though they loathe her? he wondered. Not only is Miss Gao a hindrance to their journey, but they must also provide for her food. It must mean she is useful to them, or they'd have killed her long ago, wouldn't they? Because what jianghu lacks least are nasty people who'd off anyone in a blink for no good reason at all. But then... Does it also mean, since they took me in alive, that they are going to grill me for information?
Zhang Chengling resolved that however horrific the torture he'll have to endure, he wouldn't give up his real identity. Else, he'd get into big-time trouble for sure, because of all the bad blood associated with his name... But what if Sister Gao recognizes me, though?!
His mind whirred with wild hypothesizing while the black-clad woman dragged him out of the inn like a sack of potatoes.
They had arrived in a small corner behind the stables when he was suddenly released. Zhang Chengling surveyed his captor apprehensively, but the woman only reached out to unseal his acupoint. Next, she yanked off the mask covering her face and said, "You're Zhang Chengling, that useless brat, aren't you?"
Zhang Chengling gaped, dumbstruck. Then, tears of joy stung his eyes as he almost flung himself forth. "Sister Gu Xiang!" he cried out, struggling to control the trembling in his voice.
He opened his arms to hug her, but Gu Xiang held up her hand to stop him.
"Men and women, 'fat or thin', mustn't be improper in their kin, "1 she said, entirely deadpan as she pushed him aside. "I'm no longer unattached, so don't get touchy-feely."
Zhang Chengling blinked at her in utter confusion for a good minute before he put two and three together.
"Huh? Do you mean you've married Brother Cao?" he asked. "Is that it? I mean, did you two, you know... share the same blanket?"
Gu Xiang's face turned scarlet. Her eyebrows were near vertical while she glared at Zhang Chengling. "What are you talking about?! What scumbag has taught you gross stuff like that?" she fumed.
— Younger girls differed from older women in that, as tough as a girl may appear, she'd be bold only while discussing the gossip of others. As soon as it was about her, she'd revert to being the most tender-skinned.
As for Zhang Chengling, his blunder was wholly innocent. Indeed, whether back at the Zhang Estate, or since he'd been on the roads of exile, nobody had bothered to elucidate the birds and the bees for him.
All he knew came from snippets he had garnered by listening to the outrageous flirting between the two old tramps he had for teachers. With the blanks filled in by his imagination, he had thus attained the conclusion that "people became husband and wife after Sharing the Same Blanket". The "Blanket" being, to his young and pure mind, a kind of portentous, possibly arcane, ceremonial. Something adjacent to drinking from exchanged wine
cups2. Or the sacrifice of chickens.
Hence, he had thought nothing remotely untoward by babbling about it.
Still, Gu Xiang got incensed and punched out. To teach the little scoundrel a lesson for running such a foul mouth.
Zhang Chengling could only evade the whack while muttering his mnemonic rhymes. Indeed, reciting them was quickly turning into his trademark as he seemingly couldn't perform qing-gong without doing so.
Gu Xiang emitted another "huh?" of surprise. When they had first started duking it out, she had thought that her opponent had some skills, and in the dim of the night, she wouldn't have recognized the brat at all if not for the familiar stances he had used.
"Haven't seen you for a while," she said while looking Zhang Chengling up and down. "Must say, you've made progress. Where are my master and your shifu?"
Zhang Chengling told her everything about how the pair of shameless scallywags had heartlessly abandoned him.
Gu Xiang listened to his tirade. Then, she gave a "Pfft!" as she reached out to thump him on the back of the head. "You've sprouted quite some wings, haven't you?" she chided. "Do you even know who those people are? Not
even... Brother Cao and I, together, would dare rush in blindly. What are you playing hero for?"
As she spoke, somebody else hopped down from the wall ledge. They too wore dark clothes and a dark masks, and
their long skirt was that of a woman.
"Gu Xiang, why did you take so long? I thought you..."
The person's voice was that of a man. When they noticed Zhang Chengling, they stopped mid-sentence and tore away their mask: they were none other than Cao Weining.
The young man remained goggle-eyed for a good while before he pointed at Zhang Chengling.
"Err... Aren't you that Zhang Chengling kid? Why did you grime yourself up to look like a clown3? Where's your Shifu?"
Zhang Chengling patiently recounted his story again.
"Stop wasting time reminiscing, you two," Gu Xiang cut in. "Let's break the Gao girl out first."
She rummaged out a sheet of paper from her robes. Drawn upon it was a cluster of squiggly lines and a few scrawls missing strokes that may have been pictograms from another language.
"I've mapped out all the guest rooms of the inns," she said. "The place I've circled is where they locked up Gao Xiaolian. We ain't in luck, though. I thought they were taking shifts guarding her at first but turns out those women are pretty paranoid. They don't even trust their own, and only that old woman's closest aides can approach the Gao girl."
Cao Weining inched closer.
"What's our plan then?" he asked, drumming a finger against his chin.
Zhang Chengling — who was getting addicted to risk-taking, it seemed — felt excitement surge through him. He eagerly volunteered a terrible idea.
"How about creating a distraction? I'll draw them away while you two go rescue her. And then we meet up afterward."
"Good plan!" Cao Weining said.
"Yeah. It would be," Gu Xiang said in a rather chill voice, "If a single one of us were as good as your Shifu, or my master. Then we could barge in there, start a fight, and grab the girl without thinking ahead. Brat, how long have you been learning qing-gong again to think that you can 'draw them away?"
Cao Weining instantly turned his coat.
"That's right! Gu Xiang makes an excellent point!"
Zhang Chengling glanced at him mutely. He reckoned that even if Gu Xiang had said, "Cao Weining is a tortoise-shelled bastard", the guy would have, without an ounce of scruples, nodded in fawning agreement and replied, "That's right. Gu Xiang makes an excellent point."
With the air of a military general preparing for war in their field tent, Gu Xiang analyzed the situation:
"Those women aren't just anyone. The one in charge is called 'Granny Black-Bane**'. Rumour has it she's a female shaman from Nanjiang, proficient with poisons, voodoo, and the like..."
At the words "from Nanjiang", Zhang Chengling couldn't help butting in. "That can't be right, can it? A Great Shaman is a good person..."
Gu Xiang rolled her eyes.
"What does the Great Shaman have to do with anything? Yes, he rules over Nanjiang's Shiwan Mountain4, but should he also personally look after every insect and blade of grass that dwells on it? Besides, didn't you hear when I said it was only a rumor..."
"Yes! Exactly!" Cao Weining immediately concurred. "And us folks from the Central Plains, we don't like bringing up Nanjiang much, do we? So, we're not that wise to the goings over there."
Zhang Chengling could only give Cao Weining a silent look.
"I can't say for sure how skilled that granny is..." Gu Xiang went on. "But I'm certain I couldn't beat her. Brother Cao may have a chance if it was a regular duel, but from what I've seen tailing them all this time, I'm pretty confident she has tricks up her sleeves. Which complicates the matter. Plus, they've got so many people, too."
"How about... taking them out with sleeping incense*?" Cao Weining suggested.
"So. You're going to trick Granny Black-Bane with poison, are you?" Gu Xiang replied. "Or am I the one who's supposed to manage it? Central Plains people can't compete with the Nanjiang folks on that kind of stuff, to begin with, so why would you even..."
She looked like she was about to raise her voice, but she took a glance at Cao Weining and swallowed it back down. He was her man, after all. And she didn't quite have the heart to scold him.
For his part, Cao Weining hurried to backpedal. "Excellent point! Yeah, you're right! I'm too dumb. Let's listen to you instead!"
The three stooges5 thus elected Gu Xiang as their sole despot. She humbly accepted and started ordering them around.
Zhou Zishu endured the Nails for almost an hour after midnight before the pain lifted. Only then did he notice the tangle he was in. He cleared his throat and struggled free from Wen Kexing's embrace.
Wen Kexing remained unfazed, though. He merely gazed at him and asked in a tone that may, or may not, have been in jest:
"A-Xu, the scenes of the Spring Palace you painted had such vivid details and were drawn with so swift a brush... It was a mere glimpse into a deep trove of erudition, wasn't it?"6
Zhou Zishu replied in a manner that was likewise jesting. Or not.
"You flatter me. They were only the scribblings of an amateur."
"Oh? Is it possible for a simple amateur's scribbles to be so true to life?"
Zhou Zishu turned away and exited the small alley in a few strides. He stooped to examine the bloodstains on the ground.
"Looks like she fled in that direction," he said, obviously changing the topic. "But then, why was Liu Qianqiao here in the first place?"
Wen Kexing tailed him like a shadow. "A-Xu," he sighed. "You needn't be so courteous with me you know? Since you too have such designs, we should let it out in the open and have a frank heart-to-heart. That way we can also sort out the matter of our respective positions."
"Nothing to sort out there," Zhou Zishu said calmly.
"That's settled then," Wen Kexing replied with a salacious grin.
"Stop dreaming," Zhou Zishu said, curtailing the guy's beautiful fantasy.
With that, he took off in the direction toward which the bloodstains led. Wen Kexing trailed closely behind but
appeared distracted. Indeed, spermatozoa had taken over his brain cells7 and he had little attention to spare for whether Liu Qianqiao lived or died.
They had been following the bloody tracks together for a little while when Zhou Zishu suddenly broke the silence. "The Long-Tongued Devil wanted to kill you. So does the person who is behind him... Why is that?"
Wen Kexing, who had been babbling away only minutes ago, quieted down at once and kept silent for a long time. But just as Zhou Zishu thought that no answer would be coming, the man spoke up.
"According to you, why do you think I'm the Master of the Devils' Valley?" Wen Kexing asked. Zhou Zishu swept him a glance. "You're all-mighty," he answered offhandedly.
Wen Kexing chuckled. It sounded forced. A bit demented, even.
"I'm the Valley Master because none of them can do a thing about it. Anybody who enters the Valley sees their bill cleared of all their past misdeeds. Were it a pleasant place to be, was the Devils' Valley some paradise island, don't you think it'd be a smidgen more crowded?"
Zhou Zishu could have figured out that logic by himself using his toes. Still, he kept silent... Perhaps because he wanted to hear the other man say it with his mouth.
"Principles such as 'justice' or 'righteousness' don't exist on Windcliff Mountain," Wen Kexing carried on. "There, either you eat the other, or the other eats you. So, since I kill whomever I wish to kill, and they can't stop me, I'm the Valley Master: the tyrant of which they can't get rid, so to whom they must obey."
Wen Kexing paused.
"But then, it doesn't mean that they don't dream of it. Getting rid of me, that is. Anytime an occasion presents itself, there inevitably is agitation... For example, some people may feel that, if they can obtain Rong Xuan's secret manual, it would then finally be in their power to defeat me, their pesky Devil Lord."
Zhou Zishu turned to look at the guy.
"You mean to tell me," he said, "that the Devils are risking 'being scorched by sunlight' while leaving the Valley without permission to stir shit up in the outside world, just to bump you off?"
Wen Kexing giggled soundlessly.
"That would be because they aren't quite a patient lot. No previous Valley Master has survived sitting on that throne for more than three years. Yet, this is already my eighth spring loitering at the place, while still refusing to take the hint and kindly kick the bucket. You tell me if they wouldn't feel in a bit of a hurry."
Zhou Zishu remained silent for a while before he said, "If I had longer to live, I could think of a solution for you to never return there. I'd keep you with me, as a pretty thing to have around."8
Wen Kexing froze. He twisted to search the other man's face as if trying to determine whether it was a joke.
"Did you just say... that you want to keep me?" he asked after a long pause.
Zhou Zishu chuckled. "What place we end up at in life is inconsequential. But if we get trapped somewhere, and start resenting it, that feeling..."
He stopped, the rest of his sentence lost to the faintest shadow of a smile.
No one understands that feeling better than I do.
Dawn was breaking. Liu Qianqiao's trail soon went cold. The two men searched the vicinity for some time, to no avail. They were preparing to head back when a blood-curdling scream tore the air. Zhou Zishu frowned. He unfolded his qing-gong and took off in the direction of the noise.
The two men concealed the sound of their breathing and made their steps yet lighter. They hid in a corner to observe.
Liu Qianqiao had received an arrow to her shoulder but was still fighting fiercely. Her opponent turned out to be a familiar face as well: it was Cangshan's Grandmaster, Huang Daoren.
Notes
1. Gu Xiang misquotes or "men and women shouldn't be handy with each other in gestures". It's a rule that has been taken very literally throughout history: imperial harem where the emperor's women lived, with eunuchs; seeing a doctor behind a curtain, etc.
The phrase originates in Mencius. However, he uses it to say that even if men and women shouldn't be casually touching, circumstances such as if the woman is in danger should be excused.
2. a tradition that has the groom and bride drink wine by crossing or swapping winecups. I added the chicken sacrifice for the joke to work without the note. (Chickens would probably be killed for a wedding feast, but it's not part of the wedding itself).
3. "little flower face" which is a clown or buffoon in Chinese opera.
4. is near China's border with Vietnam. I have to say, the way they talk about the region in
the text has a hint of how contemporary Chinese would talk about Xinjiang.
5. "stinky cobblers" in the text. Referring to the idiom "three cobblers together can beat out Zhuge Liang/a general".
6. This line is really funny in the original so I'm giving it a bit more love by explaining what I may have failed to convey: As per the last chapter, we know that ZZS's talent for painting is limited, so what WKX is asking here is whether ZZS is experienced with/would like to engage in gay sex since he seems (to WKX' astonishment) to have such a good grasp of the positions. The way he talks, in seemingly candid allusions, makes him sound like such a jerk, it's funny.
7. "spermatozoa rushing to the head". Had a good laugh imagining the little suckers swimming up there.
8. The exact line is ZZS saying: "I'll keep you as a little white face/gigolo". Keep as in "kept-woman". But also as something that a man would say to a woman he wishes to marry (since free women don't officially have jobs).
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