Chapter 1: A Broken Paradox
[For the crime made against the future of humanity by the creation of a paradox, you shall be punished, Counter Guardian EMIYA, enjoy your last moments]
When did it all start?
Was it when all I heard was screaming around me, choosing to abandon my emotions, and the people around me for a chance to live?
Or was it when I saw 'his' smile? Wanting to be able to smile like that? To be able to smile even when the world was burning?
Or was it when I took up 'his' dreams, 'his' ideals, and made them mine? The dreams that ended up destroying me and those around me instead of saving everyone?
Or was it when I held her lifeless body? A child created for the purpose of being a container, not knowing the luxury of an innocent childhood, and just wanting her father and mother to come back?
Perhaps it was when 'she' cried, begged, shouted, and cursed to try to get me to value myself? To save myself over everyone else?
...
When was it when my ideals truly betrayed me?
When it betrayed everyone around me?
When it betrayed me for the first time or the thousandth time?
When I had to kill hundreds to save a thousand?
Children, parents, orphans. Eyes filled with terror as they stared at the sky that was crying arrows. Hoping to at least live, or to at least allow their children to live, but only to have that hope shattered as an arrow passed through their hearts and then their children's?
Alaya certainly didn't discriminate with her orders. Age, race, relation didn't matter to her. To her it didn't matter who was involved, as long as they were near something that threatened humanity, they had to go.
My swords, arrows, hands, leaving a young girl, mother, sister without any salvation.
My swords, arrows, hands, leaving a young girl without a smile on her lips?
My swords, arrows, hands, leaving a young boy without any faith in the world?
...
And here I lay. On the summit of a hill, staring at the rusted gears that riddled the sky of my soul. Awaiting my final erasure, my final salvation. Countless swords, spears, halberds, axes, and weapons of all kinds, origins of both mundane and of mythical origins that surrounded me, bringing a sense of foreboding and comfort.
After giving up my experiences, weapons, and pain to the brat and idiot known as my younger self, and confirming that he won't go down my self destructive path, I laid here with a small smile.
Going over my regrets and life became a timely thing I would do. Something to combat the creeping insanity of mine that was developed over time as a Counter Guardian.
A time where my ideals betrayed me left and right.
Guess the saying that if it's too good to be true, it's not was true. To be able to save everyone by offering my services to Alaya? I know I say this a lot, but I truly was an idiot....
It was also a time where my kindness and naivety developed into a cynical attitude that would always show case my honest thoughts, never hiding or censoring my words.
But there was one thing, a single piece of my soul, that I refused to show anyone. The single patch of green grass that littered my soul. A patch of grass that I hated looking at, as it embodied my once 'beautiful dream'.
A patch of grass that held THAT sword.
A patch of grass representing MY hopes and those of humanity.
A patch of promised victory.
A sword so beautiful that it was a crime to compare it to anything or anyone else...but that was something I would face when I'm ready.
What a truly despicable human I am...
Ahh...guess its beginning.
...
[Now erasing the paradox known as EMIY̶̨̧̨̮͕̗̮̫͚̩̣̠̗̻̑͌̈A̴̡̮͖̳̠̦̖̫͈͍̣͕̪̤̹̅̾͂̆̽̉̂̚#̸̮̙͙̠̠̠̠̦͌̇͌̀̍̉̉̍͑̚͜$̵̠̲̫̳̥̓̓̐̆̎͒̍̐̽́̿̈́͘̚̕͝@̴̡̨̪͉̯̜͖̻̗̹͓̪͔͌̍̇͛̔̿̈͐͊̍̑̀̇͋͘͝ͅͅ@̶̨̗̬̺̙̭̞̹̖̙̮̫̳͓͖͂̓̓̚#̸̛͈̦̮͖̹̩̲̘̙̣̓́̈́̀͆̋̈́̀͘͝$̴̛͎͉͈̘̾̄̃͋̐̍̊͗̈́̒͊͑̏́.̶̞͙̞͖̠͉̙͚̭̹͎̳̥͓̣̙̯̈̍̍̉̅͘.̶̥̱͙͕͙̠̄͌́̓͐̇͜.̵̢̲̹̞̠͔̦̣̻̻̰̘͙͇̥̣͍̦̈́.̷̧̠̠͎̱͇̹̳͖͎̰̥͇̟͊̀̈̀̉̇͑̿̿͛̃̂̇̾͑̌̐́̕͜ͅͅ.̷̥̘̰̞͉̋̀́̀̓͘]
...
...
[Warning...unable to erase the former Counter Guardian, Emiya...]
[Finding new methods to erase the Guardian...]
[S̷e̶a̴r̵c̵h̷i̶n̵g̵...]
[S̷e̶a̴r̵c̵h̷i̶n̵g̵...]
[S̷e̶a̴r̵c̵h̷i̶n̵g̵...]
[S̸o̷l̴u̶t̵i̶o̸n̴ ̸F̴o̷u̷n̶d̴: D̶i̷m̴e̷n̷s̴i̵o̷n̴a̵l̵ ̴G̵a̷p̸.̷.̶.̶]
..
Emiya felt his body disappearing, it was similar to when he faded out in front of Rin. The same feeling he felt whenever he was called back to the throne, but it was also...so different. Like a different world? No...he was meant to be erased. Maybe hell? What was hell to Emiya? He was already living in his own personal hell, how would the actual hell be any different?
Emiya's body finally disappeared, but his soul remained, and then it hit him. A feeling of freefall, like he was being moved at immeasurable speeds, and so he remained moving....and moving...and moving, and then suddenly came at a stop...and just floated.
An eternal hell of incapacitation? He had expected the stereotypical burning fields and sky...but this was strange to say the least. He had no means of seeing or hearing as those senses were gone without a body.
Months passed, or at least it felt like months. Emiya tried to keep track of the time by counting, but that was slowly causing him to go insane. Seriously who would even be able to count for a month straight? God forbid a person from counting for thousands of years...
But as time passed his senses slowly returned. His senses were extremely limited, but at least he could hear and feel somewhat.
Strange sounds would continue to haunt him over the course of his 'eternal' incapacitation, but there was one thing he figured out after a while..he was not alone.
And then one day out of no where, he started moving. Although, it was a slow process, it was one of the most painful things he had ever endured. The feeling of being crushed on all sides, like he was going to squashed to death...but it finally ended.
And then a new set of problems arrived. He was in a new body. He was in a babies body.
Being forced to live again after hoping to be erased?
Truly an unfair life he had. And so, he tried to scream to curse the Gods, to curse Alaya, and to his once to stupid ideals, but all that came out were the wails of a newborn...
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
ilovekats
ilovekats This was just a piece that was on my head. I doubt I’m going to continue this. I really had no plan after writing this..thing down.
I thought reincarnating him in MHA to spite Emiya by throwing him into a world of heroes...lol.
But, ah whatever, I don’t know.
— New chapter is coming soon — Write a review
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