Chapter 31: The rock in a hard place
Random things happen in school, one such being my assigned partner who just happened to be Eijiro. We were supposed to work on a project together which just resulted in us seeing each other more often, which was a bit awkward because none of us knew what to say to each other. All we had to talk about was our project and in that department, Eijiro was very helpful, but I still wanted to have a somewhat normal conversation without the awkward air that's so thick around us. Before the project, we hardly interacted, safe for that day by the bench - if you can even call that an interaction. Long story short, it's best not to put two people with questionable social skills together and expect something good to happen. The only person I talk to is Mina and Mina is easy to talk to because she seems to know what's going on. Now, I can't talk to Eijiro because of how nervous he gets on top of his insecurities which just rub off on me.
So yeah. I've had an interesting two weeks working on this project.
Today I have decided to invite him to lunch with me, because why in the hell not. This Eijiro is very sad and I don't really like seeing him in such a state. I know he changes, or at least he thinks he changes later, but that doesn't mean I'll just sit and watch. I could, you know, not interfere, but it's hard not to when the guy's your partner. I even went to his house to work on the project. The only thing that stuck to me after that day is the fact that his mothers are amazing. That's all there is to it. Those women are just the nicest creatures I have ever had the pleasure of meeting in this life. I've also noted that they are a bit concerned for their son and were very much hoping I was or would be his friend because he needs one.
So here I am, inviting him to lunch and not taking no for an answer.
Soon enough Mina appears like she always does, barely noticing Eijiro until she finally sits down and looks at us. She's curious more than anything, mentally asking me if I made a new friend to which I simply shrug because she knows me better than that by now.
"Hey, I'm Ashido Mina, Fox's friend, how about you?"
It takes a moment for him to build up enough courage to answer her, introducing himself as Kirishima Eijiro, my classmate and current science partner. He also quietly adds that I had been very persistent in getting him to join me for lunch. The last part has Mina very skeptical because I'm not one for willingly making friends, so wanting him to join me for lunch is unusual.
Why am I doing this? I'm not entirely sure, but I'm doing it and that's all that matters right now.
"Tell me why middle school science mostly involves these stupid little projects that everyone gets bored with" Mina had a science project of her own going on with a partner as well and she's not too excited about it. Understandable since that's all we've actually been doing when it comes to getting grades for science class. As for the answer to Mina's question, well, I'll just suppose the teachers are too lazy to assign anything else. Or they just don't know what else they can have us do.
"It's middle school" is the answer I come up with to which even Eijiro nods.
"I'm pretty sure all this project work is bound to change when we're in higher classes" at the moment we are first years so that could translate to less work in the science class hence the constant projects that I'm getting tired of doing.
"What if it stays the same all the way up to high school?" Mina wonders, not to be appeased by the thought. "That would be boring"
"I doubt UA would be boring at all"
Mina snorts, Eijiro looks surprised, "You wanna go to UA?" Why does she sound surprised by that?.
"I'm offended by that surprised tone of voice"
"It's just a bit hard to imagine is all. You're this anti-social "I don't care about much" person you know. You wouldn't think you'd want to be a hero at first glance"
"I don't care about much?"
Mentally I can hear Eijiro agreeing to this as he had been reluctant to approach me because of this very thing, especially since I so easily shrug off any nasty words from the people who think I'm quirkless. To him, I gave off the very energy Mina is linking to me.
Awe come on.
"Do you know how many times things have happened to you, things anyone would care about even just a little, but you brush it off and go about your day?" Mina says. "The other day some kids were calling you names and talking badly about you right in your face, but you couldn't give two cents. You didn't even get angry or anything, you just walked away in the middle of their insults"
What else was I supposed to do, fight them? Nothing they said about me was true after all, so I had no reason to entertain them or even give them my attention. If they wanna talk then by all means they can talk all they want, but it's not gonna get the result they want.
Plus, it was lunch and I was hungry, so I really had no time for a bunch of kids with nothing better to do.
"I don't get it" I huff. "I just don't care about what others think of me, I don't care if something about me makes me weird to them or if it makes me something to laugh at. What's important is that I know who I am and I like who I am. I don't need anyone's damn validation and anyone talking about me can just suck it. They're just mad because they don't know what my quirk is"
It would have been an entirely different story had I gotten mad at them and tore them a new one. I am my mother's daughter, after all, anything I say to them could crush their hopes and dreams.
"I do think some are jealous of your smarts and athletics as well as the fact that most teachers like you now" Mina points out.
"Some of the kids think you're looking down on them" for the first time ever, Eijiro adds something to the conversation and I am freaking proud. Though the fact that some kids take me for such a person is quite dumb.
"Of course" I mean why not right?
"Told ya" Mina chuckles.
"You've aced all your tests so far, you're an amazing athlete and you don't talk too much of our classmates, so they believe you're looking down on them, as if you're better" Eijiro further explains, picking at his food idly.
"Nah, Fox is just anti-social and doesn't know how to start a conversation" Mina laughs off. "Though that is bad"
I should rectify this, shouldn't I? They're my classmates and they think I'm some prick because don't talk to them about anything. Yeah, real nice Zena. People sure are quick to think negatively, aren't they? And I hadn't even realized.
I should probably pay more attention to those kids' thoughts
"That's just a terrible stroke of luck"
"Yup, good luck with that, Kitsune"
"I thought you stopped calling me that"
"Everyone calls you that" Eijiro mumbles to himself.
•••••••••••••••
Today is looking very familiar with Eijiro and I seated next to each other at our most frequented bench, the both of us waiting on our guardians to get us. He's as quiet as ever though it's not too awkward this time around. It seems he's stuck on me wanting to attend UA as well as that semi speech I had. Thinking about it, my words could've helped him out and he's really mulling them over right now, isn't he? His problem is that he doesn't believe in himself, he thinks he's not worthy, I believe. There's that and the fact he also thinks his quirk to not be showy, hence no good. I don't get that. What if your quirk isn't showy, what's important is whether or not you could use it to save people. All this flashy whatnot as if being flashy is gonna save more lives.
It's stupid really.
"Do you think I could get into UA?" He asks suddenly, me having barely heard him with how quietly he speaks.
"Do you think you could get into UA?" I bounce back because he had to understand that it's not about what I think. He's the one who wants to go, he's the one he needs to convince, not me. And if I don't believe he can get into UA, will that mean he'll just stop trying?
He sighs.
"Come on kid, you can't ask me that, you know? It's about you, not someone else, their opinion doesn't really matter" am I the only one who understands this? Hell as I'm saying this, he doesn't even need to listen to me.
Then again, mental quirk and all that used to listening in and stuff.
He goes quiet because he knows damn well he can't answer his own question right now. It's a terrible thing when you think of yourself to be lesser than anyone else. The more you go on thinking that the more likely it is to be true because if people realize that this is what you think, well, they'll think you pathetic amongst other things. Getting rid of such a mentality can take a while and a whole lot of effort too. He never truly gets over this inferiority complex of his, even when he gets into UA, he just got somewhat good at hiding it. Hey, I even think that's why he got along with Katsuki so well, their mentalities seem to work each other out.
Or he just gets along with him.
But no one gets along with him.
"My quirk isn't flashy and all that impressive so I don't really think I can be a good hero" he admits and I am the wrong person to be saying this to because I think that entire thing is a load of bullshit.
"You know, I probably am not the right person to be talking to about this" I clarify. "We're completely different, opposite even and what you just said honestly irritates me"
Sometimes honesty is the right way to go, right?
"That whole fiasco about flashy quirks is something I can't stand behind because flashy or not what matters is that you're out there saving people and protecting the innocent" the only thing a flashy quirk does is gain the attention of the common folk. "And whether your quirk is impressive or not, there are many ways to work around that if you're creative enough or incredibly skilled with your powers. So the whole not flashy or impressive thing isn't something I focus on or find impressive"
That'll give him something to think about.
"What is this quirk of yours that you don't like?" I never quite understood why he doesn't appreciate his quirk and realize how amazing it is. I get that he has a bad first experience with his powers and when activated he believes he looks villainous, but he should really learn to look past that and accept his quirk. It is his quirk and it's not going anywhere no matter how much he dislikes it.
He doesn't say anything else to me, not wanting to show off his powers.
Fine
He doesn't have to, no one's forcing him.
"We don't know each other that well so I have no right to give you advice or anything" because who am I, Right? "But if you have a problem with your quirk you should try to come to terms with it. If you got a problem with yourself, try to work that out. I'm not sure what's going on in that head of yours or what's behind your psyche, but you wanna be a hero and that's a noble thing, it's amazing that you want to be a hero, to save people you know. And well, you'll have to fix whatever's bothering you before you get to that point"
I should probably not go around talking to people like this when they barely know me, but I have decided to try something here with Eijiro. I can't help him much because his problems lie with himself and no one else. He's the only one who can help himself.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
OriosGrafeas
OriosGrafeas Here's to hoping this came out good today. Also a heads up, I posted that dragon ball fix I had been working on just yesterday. It's titled "Unbreakable" if anyone's interested. If you do read it I hope you enjoy it.
Hehe, sometimes I laugh about how it took me over a month to write a good first chapter. First chapters are very hard to write, no joke
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