Chapter 2: The Start Of A Weird Detour
It had been a few cold hours of silence since the start of their journey to the remote town. The adventurers had yet to actually communicate with each other, and combined with the fact that they were going through a forest made the air around them tense.
There were two people riding the cart, a Dwarf and a Dragonborne. A hooded figure at the front was driving the wagon while another person that looks unmistakably like a ranger is walking around the edges of the forest, watching out for any threats. A Half-Elf rogue was escorting the cart closely behind.
The rogue, sensing the atmosphere, started punching a tree, hoping to gain something from it. Strangely enough, the Dwarf followed him and started punching a tree too.
Only managing to hurt his hand, the rogue instead walked towards the cart and started up a conversation with the party.
"Hey, you there. You're… a wizard, right?" asked the Rogue to the cloaked figure in front of him.
The wizard looked back and flipped his hood open, replying with, "Hmm?"
To the rogue's surprise, the person under the hood was only a young male Dragonborne. Covered in a mixture of bright and dark grey scales, the man looked as fierce as a Dragonborne should be, but his face and body language betrayed that ferocity, instead only showing a timidity never thought possible from a person of his kind.
"Y-yeah- I mean no- wait… Kinda?" stammered the Dragonborne.
The Dwarf, still punching the tree, throws up his arms and shouts, "What do you mean kinda?"
"I m-meant that I'm just a student l-learning magic," said the timid wizard.
"And your name?" The rogue asked again.
The Dragonborne pauses for a second before answering. "Chernika."
"Cool. What about you, you loud mouthed bastard?" the rogue asked, gesturing to the Dwarf that just finished punching the tree.
The Dwarf seemed pretty young for an adventurer, with a beautiful shade of ginger for his short beard and moustache to confirm it. The rogue was impressed by the fact that his hands were uninjured, but equally dissapointed in how long he kept punching the tree. Judging by his behaviour, it was pretty clear to everyone the Dwarf was just a simple barbarian.
"The name's Liggie Bronksworth and I'm here for two things, gold and hot girls!" the Dwarf proudly said.
"Right… And you?" asks the rogue to the other Dragonborne beside the Dwarf.
The Dragonborne was clad in both heavy armour and thick, brightly coloured scales all over his body. Looking to be quite old compared to everyone else, he seemed rather carefree of his surroundings, owing to the rogue noticing him staring blankly out into the distance many times before.
"Hmm?" he said with a monotone voice, "My name is Athelarius."
"And?" the rogue asked again, curious for more.
"And what?" the Dragonborne answers confusingly.
"Uhh… nothing, never mind," the rogue said disappointingly, "What about you, ranger?"
"How about you go first?" the ranger retorted, "I've never been one to trust a rogue lightly. Sly bastards, all of 'em. Show me your face, tell me why you're here, and I might consider your request."
"Only if you tell me the same."
"Deal!"
The rogue decides to go along with the sudden request and pulls his mask off, revealing his pale and slender face, common for Half-Elves such as himself. He seemed to be a rather young man, looked dashingly handsome too, betraying the notion of him being a rogue raised on the streets.
"I have many names but you can call me… Neriah. I'm just here for the job, nothing more," the rogue says with a sly grin. "Your turn."
The ranger flips open his hood to reveal his Elven ears and gorgeous brown locks of hair. With skin paler than the Half-Elf and eyes as blue as diamonds, it was clear to everyone that he was a High Elf a cut above the rest.
The Elf pauses for a second before finally speaking, "Alright then, my name is Alatheiin, and I just finished a certain… quest of mine. I'm just here to help an acquaintance."
The Gang, finally rid of the tense atmosphere surrounding them, had a livelier journey until they hit a roadblock. Alatheiin sighted two bodies up the road, calling out to the rest about it.
"Guys! There's bodies up the road. Anyone wanna take a gander at what they are?" shouts the High Elf.
"I don't know but I bet they're real hot!" Liggie shouts back.
Everyone turns to the Dwarf and unanimously thinks the same thing.
"Damn, he really is autistic," they all said in their heads.
"How about you two get off your arses and go check it out!", Neriah shouts, calling out to the two people riding the cart.
"Hmm? Alright. C'mon Liggie, let's go," ordered Athelarius.
"What?! Why do I have to go too!" Liggie protested.
"They might be hot." Alatheiin chimed in.
"Really? Well alright then!" Liggie answered, suddenly sounding enthusiastic.
Alatheiin, completely dumbfounded, mutters, "Damn… I didn't think he'd be that big a horny bastard."
The two people riding the cart got off and started investigating the scene ahead of them.
"Oh. They're just horses," said Liggie
Liggie, curious if the horses had anything on them, started rummaging through their bodies. Sadly, he found nothing worthwhile on them.
Disappointed, Liggie exclaimed, "Damn it! Nothing on them! They're not even that hot!"
"Shut up, Liggie!", Athelarius retorts. "Just hurry up and help me move these horses off the road."
Alatheiin and Neriah were standing near the cart, watching for any suspicious discrepancies in their surroundings that might lead them to discover what happened here.
"You think this might be a trap?" Neriah asks, gesturing towards the trees surrounding them.
"Oh yeah, definitely," Alatheiin answers.
"You think they'll find out?" Neriah asks again.
"Hahaha… Nope!" Alatheiin chuckles.
"Should we help them not get killed?" Neriah suggests.
"You go on ahead, I need to grab something from the cart." Alatheiin says as he starts rummaging through his luggage bag.
"Sure." Neriah responded as he set off for his compatriots. "Chernika, watch the cart, will ya?"
"Alright," Chernika responds as he continues reading a book he pulled out earlier.
The ranger continued rummaging through his bag before suddenly stopping and pulling out his bow.
"Something's… off…", He says as he scans the outskirts of the forest. "Tch! Damn it! I was right! Chernika! Ready up!".
"W-what! Why?" Chernika responds, surprised.
Suddenly, two goblins charged out of both sides of the road and attacked the Dwarf and Dragonborne. Two of them were slashing wildly with their scimitars while the other two pulled back with their shortbows.
Athelarius, surprised by the sudden encounter, couldn't brace himself against the attacks, getting slashed by a goblin across the chest, while the goblin at the back shot him on his left arm.
Liggie, shocked to see Athelarius suddenly getting injured, didn't mount a good enough defence and got slashed on his right thigh. He did however, catch an arrow coming straight for his head with his shield.
Alatheiin, having seen through the ambush, pulled back on his bow and released an arrow at the goblin who tried to shoot Liggie, getting a clean hit on it's head, killing it instantly.
The rogue, who was only halfway there when the goblins attacked, ran quickly to aid his friends, attacking the goblin in front of Athelarius. However, having sprinted the whole way, his movements were off-balanced and he only managed to cut off the goblin's finger.
Chernika, alerted by Alatheiin, readies up his firebolt spell, but his mind kept racing and he hesitated, scared of the chance of him hitting one of his friends. That hesitation meant that when he fired his spell, he missed his shot and hit the trees behind them instead.
Athelarius, now wounded, decides to lift one of the dead horses in an attempt at using it in some way. Liggie attempts the same but his wounded thigh barred him from doing so.
The goblins, sensing the opportunity, all go on the attack again. One of them slashed at Neriah but only scratching him due to his amazing evasion skills. Another went for Liggie but it's slash only caught his shield. The remaining goblin archer tries to shoot Athelarius again but gets distracted by the fire behind it, hitting the horse being carried by it's target.
Alatheiin was able to pinpoint where the arrow headed for Athelarius came from. Sighting his quarry, he let loose an arrow, hitting the goblin in the middle of its eyes, adding another one to his tally.
The rogue suddenly went and sneaked away, hoping to gain an advantage against the goblin he was facing.
Chernika readied up another firebolt and fired it at the goblin in front of Athelarius, but the fear of hitting him made him flinch once again, causing him to narrowly miss the both of them.
Liggie entered a barbaric rage due to his apparent failure to lift the dead horse in front of him and the pain in the thigh that he was suffering through. He pulled out his warhammer and pummelled the goblin in front of him to bits.
The last goblin, seeing its friends getting killed in view, started fleeing in absolute terror. The Dragonborne saw the futile attempt and dropped the dead horse he was carrying onto the goblin, creating an impressive mess underneath said horse.
With the last goblin dead, Athelarius and Liggie both tend to their wounds while the others scour through their surroundings, wary of any more creatures coming for their lives. Athelarius goes back to the cart to rest while Liggie…
"Liggie?"
"Yeah?"
"Why are you lying on the dead horse?"
"Cause I like it." Liggie says, deadpanned serious.
"I… sure. You do you," sighs Alatheiin.
Neriah, satisfied with checking his surroundings, decides to start looting the dead goblins but unsurprisingly finds nothing as they were just simple roadside robbers.
After checking up on his injured comrades, Alatheiin goes and investigates deeper into the area, hoping to find where the goblins came from. He does eventually succeed, finding a narrow dirt path going deeper into the forest. A dozen footprints could be seen on the ground, but curiously, there were also signs of two bodies being dragged through the path.
After finding the path, Alatheiin goes back to the party, who were all gathered up at the cart.
"I found a path and I'm checking where it leads to. Who wants to follow me?"
"Adventure? Let's goooo!" Neriah says enthusiastically.
"What? Adventure? Wait wait wait wait. Shouldn't we just go straight to Phandalin? Two of us are injured here!" Chernika retorts, surprised by Alatheiin's sudden decision.
"Speak for yourself, I'm fine!" Liggie huffed. "I'm going with the guy that shot two goblins in the head!
Athelarius, who had been silent this whole time, finally spoke up, "I'm going with them."
"What?!"
"So you're staying behind alone then?" asked Alatheiin.
The wizard sighed and finally relents, "I'd rather eat a firebolt."
"Well-" Alatheiin claps his hands, "-that's that then! Let's go!"
The Gang follows Alatheiin through the narrow path. The path was covered with very thick foliage, the likes of which only a true person of nature could somehow find a path within it. Everyone had to stay close together due to the near non-existent visibility they had, stopping only when the person in front of them stopped.
Along the way, Alatheiin detects a snare trap on the ground and disarms it. He thought about telling the others but "It should be fine!" he tells himself. Right as he says that he almost steps into another trap in front of him, a pitfall trap.
"Right, I'm telling them," he says after disarming it. "Guys! There's a pitfall trap around here!" he shouts to the others while standing on the other side of the hole.
"Where is it?"
"Around here!" Alatheiin said while pointing in a general direction.
"You think I can bloody see you!" Shouts Liggie, who had been close behind Alatheiin the whole time. "Y'know what! I'm just going to jump to you!"
"What!? No! Don't-"
Liggie did a huge leap across the hole, narrowly landing the jump.
Alatheiin hit the top of Liggie's head. "You utter dumbarse! You could've fallen into the hole!"
"But I didn't!" Liggie replies proudly.
"Alright! My turn!" Shouts Neriah enthusiastically.
"What!? Not you too-"
Neriah jumps. Unbeknownst to him, he had led himself straight into the hole he was trying to avoid. He would've fallen in if it weren't for his quick-thinking fit for a true rogue, grabbing the ledge and pulling himself out, doing a quick front flip just for the extra flair.
"Just as planned!" He says with a big smile on his face.
Alatheiin sighs, "Right! I'm shooting the next dumbarse who's gonna try to kill himself!"
The party continued to struggle through the path, finding more traps along the way, to suddenly walk into a vast empty plain. There was a shallow river at the far end of the plain, with thick foliage everywhere on the other side. There also seemed to be a cave entrance where the river started.
"Alatheiin?" Chernika asks
"Yeah?"
"Where are we?"
"In the forest."
"This is a forest?"
"Yup. See that cave? I'm going in." Alatheiin starts walking ahead.
Chernika questions Alatheiin's decision. "Into the cave? We just crawled out of a green hell! And you want us to go into a cave now! We're supposed to be escorting a cart to Phandalin!"
"Yeah, we're just taking a slight detour!" Alatheiin replies, now a few metres ahead of everyone
"You're just gonna get us all killed!"
"I was the one who saved you guys!"
"Yeah! Well I'd rather not have to be saved again!"
Alatheiin just waves him off "Just go back to the cart if you want!"
"Guess I'll take you up on your offer!" Huffs Chernika as he marches away
Liggie decides to continue following Alatheiin while Athelarius starts heading back with Chernika.
"Hey Neriah, do you trust me?" Asks Alatheiin.
Neriah let's out a little chuckle and simply replies, "Nope!"
"Cool, me neither! Look after Chernika for me. He's just gonna get himself killed."
"Sure can do! Just give me some of the treasure when ya come back!" He says as he chases after Chernika.
Neriah only just reached the wizard when suddenly two arrows came out of the shrubbery on the other side of the river. Alatheiin managed to evade one but another struck him on the knee.
"Goddamnit!" He shouts in pain, alerting the three party members that just left.
Readying himself for the inevitable attacks, Liggie shouts- "I can't see any of them!" -at Alatheiin.
"They're in the goddamn trees!" Alatheiin shouts back.
"Guess we'll just have to flush 'em out!"
Liggie stands Alatheiin back up and they both quickly stumble through the river, running straight into the bushes.
Alatheiin sights one of his attempted killers and kneeled down to steady his ragged breathing. He pulled back his bow and released an arrow towards the target. Through sheer skill and luck, he manages to land a clean hit on the target's chest, leaving it screaming on the ground before going dead silent.
Rushing into the bushes, Liggie finally sees what their attackers are.
"Alatheiin! They're goblins!" He shouts at the High Elf.
"Really-"
He gets cut off by an arrow to his chest, felling him to the ground. He lies there motionless, making Liggie realise...
"Alatheiin!" Liggie screams
The Dwarf gets filled up with rage and screamed his lungs out, terrifying the goblin. The Dwarf pulls out a javelin and lunges it at the goblins, piercing it's head and killing it instantly.
The other three ran to help as fast as they could.
Chernika shouts at the Dwarf- "Liggie! Where the bloody hell are they!" -while readying up a firebolt.
Liggie pointed towards a general direction and a firebolt was loosed into the bushes. The possible death of a party member had clearly affected the wizard because the firebolt burned through a good chunk of the foliage.
A moment of silence was spent gazing at the fiery display before another arrow was narrowly blocked by Liggie's shield.
Liggie then decides to charge crazily into the burning bushes, trying to kill the bastard who felled the Elf he considered his leader. It only took a few seconds of running around and screaming like a maniac for the raging Dwarf to find his final, unfortunate prey. There was barely a hint of a body when Liggie finally came to his senses.
Liggie walked back to the scene of the wizard desperately trying to resuscitate their comrade.
"Where'd the other two go?" Liggie called out.
Chernika looks at the Dwarf, "Checking for anything else that can kill us."
"Is he okay?"
The wizard points at the body, "He has two arrows in him! What do you think!"
"Just pull them out!"
"Are you actually trying to kill him!"
"Look! It'll be fine!"
Liggie reaches for the arrow in Alatheiin's chest and yanks it out.
The Elf suddenly opened his eyes and jolted up, "Aaaahhh! Fuckin hell!" he screamed. "What the fuck was that!"
"Holy shit! You're alive!" Chernika shouts in excitement.
"Yeah I'm alive! Why wouldn't I be-" he realises why his knee felt so numb, "-oh…" He pulls the arrow out himself, yelping in pain.
The Dwarf smiles in satisfaction and says, "Heh! Told ya it'd work!"
Chernika went and grabbed a big piece of cloth in his bag and wrapped the wounds up as best he could to stop the intense bleeding they were causing.
"You good?" Liggie asked again.
"Fuckin hurts but it'll be fine."
"Come on!" Chernika grabs Alatheiin and lifts him up. "Up and at 'em! Let's find the others."
Chernika and Liggie supports the Elf through the burnt down foliage to find Athelarius and Neriah waiting on the other side.
Neriah calls out to them first, "So is he dead yet?"
"Damn feels like it!" Alatheiin replies back. "You guys found any more of them?"
Athelarius jokingly responds, "Didn't even find anything on them!"
"Yeah that's kinda true, unless you guys were looking for a sword, a broken shield or clothes covered in goblin gore." Neriah said.
"Not even any coin?" Liggie asked
"Nope." Neriah sighs, "Found this camp though," he points behind him to a small burnt out campfire surrounded by three logs.
"Damn…" Alatheiin looks around them and says to Chernika, "Hey, put me down here."
"Hmm? Sure. What are you gonna do?"
Alatheiin kicks away the burnt out campfire and conjures up a new one.
"You can do that?" Chernika asked, curious about the capabilities of this ranger.
"Yeah, I'm an Elf."
"Can all Elves do that?"
"Not all of them."
"What else can you do?"
"I can do this," the Elf says as he enters a deep meditative state.
"Wait, Alatheiin…" Chernika starts waving his hand in front of his face. "Did you really just..."
"So is he dead now?" Liggie asked. "He's got some real good stuff on him-"
"Don't!" Interrupted Chernika. "But you have a good point. He could be dead right now..."
Neriah walks out of the foliage behind them. "It's just a thing Elves do. They don't sleep, they meditate. Seems pretty comfy too."
"Aren't you a Half-Elf?" asked Chernika.
"Well too bad for me then, cause the human side's dominant for me." scoffed Neriah, apparently looking annoyed.
The Dragonborne suddenly comes out of nowhere. "So what now?" asked Athelarius, echoing the thoughts of everyone.
"Guess we'll just do whatever until he wakes up," suggested Chernika.
"Sounds like a plan," said Neriah as he started walking away. "Call me when he does get up."
"Oh… Alright. Guess it's just us then-" Chernika turns around to see one of his friends gone. "Where did Athelarius go?"
"Good question."
"So it's just us?"
"Yup."
"Why did we come here again?"
"Hell if I know." Liggie replied
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
CertifiedWhale
CertifiedWhale Goddamn this chapter is a lot longer than I thought. Turns out a lot of things happened in our first play session. Chapter 2 should more or less be finished by the time I write this since the session was shorter than the others. Anyways, I hope this was somewhat entertaining for you to read since this was just a dumb idea that I got really invested in.
Edit note: Forgot about the dwarf also punching a tree. Now the whole party thinking he's dumb makes a bit more sense.
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