Chapter 4: Concession

I hate this... this situation or should I say position I'm putting my best friend in. Yes he doesn't mind and yes he might be feeling obliged to do so because he blames himself, but for how long will this end? For how long will I ignore what is really troubling me in favour of whatever the hell it is I am using as a shield for my insecurities? I know it is high time Isought professional help or worked out my shit, because at the end of the day only me got me. Thinking of how to move forward and actually doing it are two different scenarios, that I can acknowledge in my head. Am I ready for big leap? fuck no! will I do it or at least attempt to do it? hell yeah. Mind made up, my mind switched to what I was supposed to be watching. Knowing sleep was out of the equation was once more, I dragged Kyrie to the living room so we could watch TV and pass time until sleep claimed me us. Getting comfortable on the sofa, I turned to Kyrie what do you have in mind? You pick he replied absentminded. I cuddled closer to him hating the fact I am the reason he looked so wretched. I couldn’t talk him out of the miserable state he was in but I could offer him comfort by being closer to him. I know how ironic the situation was but I had already accepted the fact that with time I might forget everything unlike Kyrie who I doubted will ever let go ofthe self-loathing and blame for a situation I never held him accountable for. I know what you did last summer? I smirked turning towards him and he shrugged wrapping his arms around me pulling me closer to him. I pressed play as he covered us with the afghan on the seat.