Chapter 26: 21. Thunder at night
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She was just as Gorgeous
and booming as the
Thunder at night.
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I noticed through out dinner that Marinette's mind was else where, she was probably thinking of that necklace. I felt terrible but I hoped once I hand it to her I would be able to see her happy again.
As we walked towards the park I helped her climb the tree we sat in before. I sit beside her and she lays her head on my shoulder and sighs deeply.
"I'm gonna miss you," I look down at her.
"I'm gonna miss the time we spent together, I'm gonna miss your flirty comments, I'm gonna miss your smart mouth, I'm gonna miss waking up to your god awful voice, I'm gonna miss when you ask me to brush your hair," she looks up at me with sad eyes.
"I'm gonna miss watching the sunset with you."
"Do you remember Luó Xiaodan?," I whispered.
"Yeah that two faced friend of yours? Why are you bringing it up now?," she rolled her eyes.
"And Ren Yanmei?"
"Your cheating ex? How can I forget about her, stuck up and rude."
"They contacted me a week ago and apologized for everything," I laughed nervously and scratched the back of my neck.
"After 2 years? Why all of sudden?," Marinette mumbled.
"I'm not sure," I lied.
"You shouldn't forgive them," she whispered.
"They don't deserve your forgiveness after what they did you," she grabs my hand and squeezed it.
"I can't only have hate in my heart for the rest of life bub," I chuckled.
"You have a whole lifetime, you can hate them for a bit longer."
"You're right about that, maybe I shouldn't forgive them," I smiled.
"After Luó outing out your personal business and Ren using you and then cheating on you, people you trust that betray you should never be forgiven," Marinette sighed.
"You betrayed me though," I mumbled.
Marinette quickly turns to me with a shocked face "when did I betray you?"
"When you ate the last slice of strawberry cheesecake and didn't offer me a bite," I rolled my eyes.
"You were asleep! You told no one to wake you up and I was craving that," she grumbled.
"Whatever you're so fake," I joked.
Marinette pulls her hand away and moves her head off my shoulder.
"No you," she mumbled.
"I'm just joking bub," I laughed and pushed her lightly and try to reach for her hand, but she moves it.
"Don't be like that," I laughed and wrapped my arms around her small body.
I know Marinette wasn't really upset at me, I knew she was already smiling as she faced away from my gaze.
For a while we stayed that way as I can hear her heart beating quickly as mine does the exact same. I look down at her and see her already looking up at me with a small smile, being able to see her this close and being able to even know a person like her exist is truly a gift from the world. I rub her head softly as she giggled at my actions. Marinette hugs me as well and I can feel my eyes start to water, I sniff lightly and turn away from her before she can catch my tear leaving me eye and sigh lightly.
I knew I was going to see her again in a month or so, but I didn't want her to forget me, I didn't want her to forget the times we spent together and I didn't want her to run into someone else's arms for comfort, I didn't want anyone else to see her smile. I didn't want her to look in some else's direction, I didn't want her to find someone to replace me.
...
I know I'm selfish... I shouldn't wish for her to be alone until I come back.
I'm so sorry for being so selfish to want her feeling alone.
I hated myself for this.
I'm so sorry Marinette.
I just want to be selfish for today until I see her again.
Marinette frowns as she starts to realize the tears running down my face.
Before I met Marinette I lived a life that had the same day, I woke up worked out and trained, got home and felt like time was going by so slow, sometimes I wished night would come faster and lasted longer so I can sleep and hope the next day something interesting will happen.
Every day.
Wake up.
Train.
Home.
Sleep.
Wake up. Train.
Home.
Sleep.
Wake up. Train. Home.
Sleep.
Wake up. Train. Home. Sleep.
Over and over again.
Then one day everything changed.
And now I'm wishing for the day to be longer like before and the nights to be short. I'm wishing for time with Marinette, because that's the only thing against me.
"Anthony, what's wrong?," Marinette grabs my face softly and turns me to gaze at her face, I slowly take in every little feature of her face and smile softly.
"Anthony?," she called.
"If your crying about you leaving, stop it, you'll be coming in less than a month don't worry," she smiled.
A day apart is torture.
I can't imagine even a month like before.
"Come here you big old baby," she laughed lightly and pulled me into her chest.
This was my safe place, this was where I wanted to be.
I wanted to be near Marinette as much as I possibly can.
I want to admire her beauty as much as I possibly can.
To admire her laugh and her captivating smile, the way her nose scrunches up lightly and how sometimes she covers her smile when she feels embarrassed.
To admire her little tantrum moments and nervous breakdowns.
"Marinette?," I mumbled.
"Hmm," she hummed.
I slowly start to pull the necklace from my pocket and look up to see Marinette staring at the sun which is almost gone from view.
"Close your eyes for a second," I whispered.
"Why?," she questioned.
"Just close your eyes," I laughed.
"No that's really suspicious."
"Bub come on hurry up," I rolled my eyes as she closes her eyes.
"Don't push me off the tree," she warned.
"Don't give me any ideas now," I joked.
"Hey!," she tried to open her eyes before I click my tongue to the roof of my mouth.
"Sorry," she giggled lightly.
I look down at the necklace and sigh, I pick up Marinette's hair softly and lay her gift on her before grabbing the locket and giving it a soft kiss.
I clip it together and let her hair fall and fixed it lightly before making her face me and I lay a kiss on her forehead before smiling down at her.
"You can open your eyes, just don't get angry with me," I laughed.
Marinette quickly open her eyes and looks down at her neck and her large blue eyes widen at the necklace on her.
"No you didn't? No way," suddenly she looks up at me with an upset expression "no, no, take it back this is way to expensive," she tried to take it off.
"It's for you, plus I can't return it," I mumbled.
"Anthony I can't accept this- it's just too much," Marinette sighed.
"Stop it," I laughed lightly "you never stopped staring at the necklace and now that it's on you it shows that it was made just for you, I can't imagine it on any other person except you."
Marinette looks at me and smiles lightly "thank you for this, I didn't get you anything though," she frowned.
"The best thing you can give me is that smile I love so much," I winked.
...
As we sat down talking about our last memories together I noticed that the sun has almost gone from view, I jump down and hold my hands out for Marinette as she jumped into my arms causing me to lose balance a bit.
"Today was amazing," Marinette smiled up at me.
I kiss her forehead and grab her hand before heading towards the moped to head home and have our sleep over.
...
Marinette and I were now in her room looking through horror movies, that only I enjoyed, when Marinette saw the movie Pride and Prejudice.
"Can we watch it pleaseeee?," she grabbed onto my arm.
Knowing I was going to let her have her way I nod and lay down on her lap.
It started to kick in at this time that I was leaving in a few hours back home, I look up at Marinette from where I'm at to see if she has realized.
I chuckle as I see that Marinette is in her own little world, enjoying the last hours of us together.
I felt tears slide down my eyes and hold onto her softly.
I didn't want to go home, I didn't want be in China and live the same day over and over again, I didn't want to leave Marinette here.
Time is passing by so fast when I'm near her but so slow when she's not around.
I play with her shirt feeling anxious.
"Hey bub what's wrong?," Marinette tapped on me head.
I shake my head not wanting to meet her gaze knowing I would burst into tears.
"Anthony don't be a big baby, talk to me what's wrong?"
"I don't want to go back," I mumbled.
"I want to stay here and be with you, it's just unfair," I sniffed.
"I'm living the same life over there over and over again, and now that lost the competition I don't know what I'm going to do now, I don't know if I should start training to become an instructor or- I don't know what to do," I whispered.
"Don't you want to have your own Martial Art studio, to help me with my career in fashion? Wasn't that what we planned, our life together, in the future?"
I finally look up at Marinette who no longer had her beautiful smile on her face.
"Let's just forget about this, and talk about it later hm? I don't want to be sad on our last moments before I fly off to China, let's play some video games and do the chubby bunny challenge," I tried to laugh.
I can tell Marinette knew I was still bothered by my own thoughts but agreed to whatever I wanted to do with a smile.
And that's how we spent the night, Marinette smiling and me being a complete downer. I just wanted to hold her for that night, and I did, Marinette understood that I wasn't in a good state of mind and I knew she wasn't either. So we just stayed holding on to one another, talking about old stories and funny things we've experienced, she talked about how in her future she can see her and I living in China achieving our dreams.
I pictured us too.
Although mine was a bit larger and wider future with Marinette.
I thought of me teaching future national Champions and Marinette working along side with me, she would go to the university she wanted to go to and her making traditional and amazing clothing. Marinette would visit the studio and greet me with a kiss and a hug, she'd fix up my shirt with her trusty little needle and thread she always had and then we would go home together.
We would live with one another as a couple and live life as we wanted to.
That we would be one another's home to get back too.
I wanted that to be our future together.
But- it will never be.
——
We were now at the airport as I said goodbyes to the friends I made in Paris.
Marinette was beside me holding onto my hand like I was never going to come back.
I laughed lightly and bent down to meet her gaze that held no more happiness but a gloom over her brightly colored eyes, I frown lightly and lift up her chin, and smile lightly at her.
"What's got you so down bub?," I joked.
Marinette looks at me and takes a deep breath.
I frown knowing she was closing herself off.
Marinette tends to this often, when she feels an over power of sadness she closes off her emotions and tries to put herself in a position that can lead her to even more pain than before. She's trying to act tough for my state, but I didn't want that, I wanted her to cry and feel pain while I'm still here so I can comfort her. I didn't want her to go back home and have to deal with all her emotions all alone like she used to, I wanted her to feel at this moment so she won't have to go through this pain alone, I'm here right for her and she's trying to close herself off.
I didn't want to tell her what she is doing is wrong, as much as I wanted to let her know, I kept my mouth shut and tried to put a fake smile on my face as I look at Marinette.
We were currently in the parking lot of the airport with my new friends I made and Marinette's parents watching as I say goodbye.
Tikki and I had a talk earlier in the morning and of course we both cried, Tikki my home girl and I had to leave her behind as well.
I take a deep breath "I gotta go now bub, bye," I mumbled and began to walk away, I didn't want to cry just yet and I wasn't going to walk fast enough where Marinette couldn't reach up. I can feel my tears start to build up as it began to rain.
I know my goodbye was short but I needed for Marinette to open herself up and her emotions.
I didn't want to leave so quick, I wanted to give her a long hug and kiss every little detail of her beautiful face, I wanted to hold her hand and I wanted to say how much I will miss her.
I wanted so much more.
As I'm getting closer to the entrance of the airport I felt my heart break at the fact that Marinette hasn't called me back.
But as always Marinette has always been a little bit slow.
"Anthony!," I heard Marinette before I can enter the airport.
"Don't go, please stay, please," she cried and ran into my chest.
"Don't leave me."
I felt my body go cold and I began to cry.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I mumbled and hugged her tightly.
"Please don't cry, the last thing I want to see before I leave is you crying," I sighed.
"I'm sorry," Marinette sniffed.
"I'll be back soon bub."
"Please Anthony don't go please," she clung onto my shirt as I clung onto her small body.
"I love you Marinette, I love you," I cried.
"I'll be back, just stay strong until then okay? Remember don't close yourself off? Just please don't forget me," I mumbled into her hair.
"I will never forget you," Marinette cried.
"I love you Anthony, thank you," she dug her head more into my chest.
"Thank you for everything you've done for me."
"Thank you Marinette for being the amazing and beautiful person that you are," I kissed her forehead.
"You are so very beautiful my bub," I cried.
Marinette lifts up her head and smiles at me lightly "I love you," I whispered.
"I love you so very much."
(Yes I'm back and yes I'm also crying —-loves ;( I'm so sorry I haven't updated but I'm back and better then ever, sadly this is a goodbye to Anthony for a while;( I love you all and the support you have all given me :)))
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