Chapter 3: Chapter 3: The Past
Note: * = Thoughts
*Seems like he can only recall my name..
I felt a blush coming up..
"Katara.."
Wait..why am I blushing at the thought of him knowing my name.
"Katara.."
Seriously get it together girl SNAP OUT OF IT.
"Katara..are you alright?" asked Zuko whilst gently grabbing my hand
I felt my hand being grabbed and quickly snapped out of my thoughts.
I looked at my hand that was being held by Zuko's hand.
I looked at Zuko and saw worry in his eyes.
"Katara, are you alright you don't look so well.."
I stared at my hand resting in Zuko's.
Zuko followed my gaze, he seemed flustered and gently pulled his hand away from mine.
"Katara.. I .. I am sorry I didn't notice that I grabbed your hand."
You didn't?
"No.. I'm sorry I saw that something wasn't right so I took action immediately."
It's oke Zuko.
Zuko gave me a thankful nod and grabbed his teacup and took a sip.
Zuko there is something I've been meaning to ask you ever since I first met you.
Zuko raised his eyebrow, he put his cup down and said:"I told you I was willing to give answers so go ahead."
Very well than.
Why did you need to capture Aang?
"Oh well that's easy I thought everyone knew by now it is to restore my honor"
Restore your honor yes we all know that, but that's not what I meant.
"So what did you mean than?"
Well if you could give me a second to explain instead of saying anything I could've explained it by now..
Zuko smiled and nodded whilst saying: "As you wish your majesty"
Don't call me that.
So what I meant was, why did you need Aang or the avatar to restore your honor? Why would someone ask the "crown prince" to capture the avatar if the fire nation has an entire army?
*Zuko's smile faded away.. did I push it to far with the question?
No way, he said I could ask anything.. than why do I feel so bad..
Zuko closed his eyes whilst one hand was balled into a fist on the table and his other hand resting on his scar.
The setting changed.. it was no longer nice, quite funny and dare I say a bit flirtatious..
It was now all replaced with a deep surpressed feeling.. guilt.
Zuko you don't have to answer.
* For spirit's sake he has to answer he told you, besides it's not even that bad as the things he did to you.
*Shut up brain.. are you serious right now.. just because he did some bad things doesn't mean I should do the exact same thing back.
He is not my mother's murderer, he was a child just like me and something tells me he has been broken as a child..
*Besides he apologized and he kept his word since the fountain, he even admitted that he made wrong decisions, did the wrong things and that he regrets all of that.
But do I trust him?
I sighed and placed my hand on top of Zuko's.
I understand how hard it is to speak about events that happened in the past.
How it can tear you apart.
I understand the pain it will always give you and that even though you can have the brightest of smiles or the best day ever..
That as soon as you think about that event..
All the sadness and pain comes back rushin in.
Feeling exactly as the same day it happened.
So if you don't want to think about it that's oke and if you do than that's oke as well, it is not up to me to make that decision for you, it's up to no one but you.
Zuko opened his eyes, he looked at our hands on top of each other.
He gave a sad, confused smile.
"It's because of my father"
Your father?
He nodded, "Yes my father, he needs well needed to restore my honor"
"He gave me.."
Zuko turned pale and didn't say another word.
I looked at him in confusion and said
He gave you?
"He..gave me.."
What did he give you Zuko?
"He.. gave...me"
Zuko..
It was as if Zuko swallowed his tongue whole.. he couldn't say anything besides "he gave me"
Zuko stared at his tea in shock as if he was in a sort of trance.
I looked at Zuko and saw the pain in his eyes.. seems like he had a rough child hood..
Zuko's hand was shaking now.. I looked at our hands and back at him.. And I never thought I'd see this side of Zuko... Fear.
I pulled Zuko into a hug whilst still holding my hand on his.
I held Zuko tight and said: I can't possibly think what you've been through but just know that you are not alone.
No one should ever go through something traumatic.
Whatever he did to you wasn't right.
He should've never even thought to hurt you in the first place.
If your father is the one that caused this all than I'm sorry he is such a bad father to you, I'm sorry he tried to manipulate you into something you're not.
I'm sorry he scarred you emotionally and that he tried to get rid of you by searching for the avatar.
But guess what Zuko.. you are not your father, you are not your sister and you are not your Uncle, you are not your mother, you are Zuko.
You survived all of the things that has been thrown at you, you are strong and capable of so many wonderful things Zuko.
You are your own person and they have influenced you a lot, I'm sure you've learned something from each one of them.
But it's up to you to follow the advice of whom you choose.
Only you can make decisions for yourself, only you are the boss of yourself.
No one else.
No one can restore your honor, except you.
Your Uncle did guide you quite already on the way and it's up to you to decide what to do with his guidance.
Just know that no matter what happens I will never forget that you confided in me.
You are going in the right direction Zuko, but it's you who has to choose your path.
We can't choose it for you but we can help you get through it.
Zuko's hand stopped shaking, he lifted his hand from beneath mine and he hugged me back tight.
I could feel his head resting on my shoulder he held me tight with both his hands and whispered..
*ZUKO'S POV:
My father was a cruel man.. he never even wanted me, he only wanted Azula.
I was a failure in his eyes.
He scarred me for life..literally.
I have made so many enemies believing his words.
I neglected the words of my Uncle so many times and I regret everything I've done to hurt them.
But after everything I've done she still tries to comfort...me
Even after all of our fights..after I tied her to a tree to lure the avatar.. which now I see was really stupid.. especially me saying I'll save her from the pirates.
I really said that out loud... well it was because I needed her as bait..
And because I saw the fear in her eyes when she thought that the pirates found her, in that moment I knew I wouldn't let anything happen to her.
And yet..she is here hugging me to make me feel better.. Katara still holding my hand that's shaking.
Her head on my shoulder, hugging me tight telling me how brave and strong I am and how I deserve to live a happy life.
She really trusts me I can feel it.
She doesn't have to say the words if she isn't ready to admit it.
Her actions speak more than a thousand words.
Even after everything I have done Katara is here for me.
My hand stopped shaking and I pulled my hand from underneath her hand.
I put both my hands around her waist and put my head on her shoulder.
I hugged her tightly and whispered..
Thank you..Katara.
Her heartbeat was going a bit faster and so was mine.
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