Afterword - Never See the Bloom
The birth of this story was an isolated, aesthetic scene. Before I even named the characters, considered the themes, or planned any of the events, I wanted to see this guy stabbed in the chest, blood splattered everywhere, but with time stopping for him to reverse his death and subvert it. If it were animated, I think spot colored black and white with deep red blood would really pop out. Just saying.
Everything else spun out from that. I wanted a gorey story with viscera everywhere, mental anguish, all that fun stuff. Edgy bullshit straight into my veins. But somehow it became more than that.
I'm pretty happy with the ideas that I played with, especially the headier ones, but I'm not all that satisfied with how I conveyed them. Sometimes I was too obtuse, too brief, or too preachy. It's a flaw in my writing style that I march ahead in the dust storm, occasionally throwing breadcrumbs at the people behind me and expecting them to just get it. While the ideas are what's most important to the creator, it's actually the execution that matters more in a story. Art is communication afterall, and if I can't communicate well, then the ideas are trapped in my mind. It's something I'll have to work on.
I won't detail all my intentions here. I want to see if anyone can untangle them on their own. But I will leave this, just a clean slice of bread from me to you. The protagonist and the antagonist had the same root insecurity, but dealt with the emotional implications differently. How does one cope with having no power? This was born of my own existential doubts, being a new college grad entering the workforce. As a kid, I remembered thinking adults were free, and as an adult, I do have more power than I used to, but I'm also more aware of just how little power I have.
I'm sure a certain current event has some of you feeling rather powerless too.
It's like looking up at buildings in a city. From the street, every building looks tall. But get to the roof of your apartment, and you'll understand the difference between a twelve story residential and a real skyscraper.
I wish they weren't blocking the goddamn sunset, but the view was why they wanted a taller building, too. And I'm playing with words again.
(Maybe if I were more straightforward, my ideas would be comprehensible.)
(I'm incorrigible, aren't I?)
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BGM "0verf1ow" by FUZI x Neru (featuring Luschka & Mas Kimura)
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