/ Anime & Comics / Douluo Dalu- Rise of Sunshine
Synopsis
The power of sunshine rises from the bottom to the peak of Douluo Dalu.
Ye Long creates a Path with his knowledge and path with OPness with Harem with Beauties.
This is my 1st time writing so I hope you enjoy it.
this is Just a FanFic and English is not my 1st language so grammar can be bad but not that bad.
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![pekpek_titi]()
pekpek_titi Contributed 4 -
![Vishvendu_Pandey]()
Vishvendu_Pandey Contributed 1 -
![BloodKingAsura]()
BloodKingAsura Contributed 1
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the personality of sunshine holder doesn't match his.. if you want to give MC sunshine powers then don't give a prideful personality... ad if you want MC look like ESCANOR then(you can understand)... i appreciate if you rewrite this story where he goes on a journey on his own SOLO when he is 12 years old..GOTO other places such as places shown in douluo dalu 2 & 3..... it just look like where ESCANOR with a lustful personality looking for girls..
Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!! Crazy up!!
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Reveal Spoiler
Honestly this is difficult to read, the author constantly uses uppercase words as if the MC is shouting out every other word... Then when he/she, for whatever reason makes the MC yell he/she does cap on all the words and leave a few lowercase. All in all the Fanfic has some potential but the author is just not ready to write it. No offense but it feels like the author is a 10 year old who speaks out each word he/she writes resulting in the random uppercase words because it sounds ‘cool’. Take a break and learn to write a bit better and im sure once you are ready then the novel will explode in popularity. Otherwise someone might make a clone of this fanfic which will become much more popular and this will be forgotten due to the way it is written.
☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦😤😤🤦😤🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
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story feels forced and really fast and you should put more details, like your first 4, if you put more details and explain more you could get 15-20 chaps. also you should stop rushing your story. and the grammar too, try using an app to help you.
the tang san of the story is a completely different person from the actual one and the mc character I don't know what to say but I feel like he is a little too arrogant