Chapter 4: EPISODE 4 - Romance-Comedy
April 12, 20XX
8:13 AM
Second week, first day. Yeah, I hate the author, and I hate the viewers too. Anyway, bear with me.
Shounen protagonist, nope. Rom-com protagonist is next. Rom-coms are probably one of the most common besides shounen made solely for people thirsting for love or diabetes. However, nowadays, they are so predictable, and I'll do that by using the rules I have learned throughout my journey.
Let me analyze the rom-com protagonist, Tamaki Kazuhiko.
Rule 1: Tsunderes have a higher chance of winning than other love rivals.
Rule 2: First girl almost always wins.
Rule 3: Girls late in the running would most likely lose.
Rule 4: Childhood friends almost never win.
Rule 5: Girls with bigger cups would most likely lose against girls with smaller cups.
These are 5 powerful rules, I'd list extra rules once needed.
So, Tamaki Kazuhiko, handsome, brown hair, and his one core trait, DENSE AS HELL.
So the three heroines, first off, Morine Emiko, a beauty and straightforward, but I can probably guess she is the childhood friend. Therefore, she will lose.
Second, Uyehara Tamiko, a perverted loli, I don't know what to say about her honestly, small breasts, so she might win.
Third, Uchiyama Miwa, a supporter of the two, when attacked, she turns tsundere.
...
I discard what I said about Tamiko-san, lolis lose. Whichever rival will appear out of nowhere has no chance of winning. I basically finished their love story.
Kibe: THE WINNER IS UCHIYAMA MIWA!
Barely anyone noticed me, come on readers and watchers, are you seriously gonna cope up with that sh*tty story? After introducing pointless love rivals, the story will enter "THE MILKING STATE" in which the story has no developments thus far and is making use of waifus to keep it going. With that being said this ain't the only type of rom-com. This is a type with rivals, there are others which do not have rivals, or if there are, it's painfully obvious who will win cause the title of the winning girl is basically in the story. These types are the popular boy and unpopular girl, the boy-hating girl and the whatever characteristic boy, teasing girl and the revenge planner boy, and vice versa. Given that I most likely cannot be a rom-com protagonist with rivals due to my bad personality, even with my loner and otaku characteristic, I'll take...
*Bell rings*
*Kibe goes down the stairs*
*Kibe opens a classroom*
Kibe: KOUHAI! ANY KOUHAIS AVAILABLE?
...the kouhai and senpai chemistry.
Note: No one answered.
I don't care about my dignity, I'll throw it away for this opportunity. In these types of rom-coms, the main focus of the audience is the heroine, or my kouhai. It doesn't matter whether I look horrendous or not.
He asks some girls out in the hallway, but they all leave in disgust.
Kibe: Why don't people notice me? But when they do, they leave out of disgust.
A girl stays.
Girl: Fine, I'll stay with you for a bit.
*Kibe's face shone brightly*
Kibe: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Is she acknowledging my existence? FINALLY!
Note: Wrong. She stayed out of pity.
We don't know each other, so the first thing we should do is go home together.
*Kibe and the girl are walking*
Kibe: What's your name?
Kurata: Kurata Kasumi, you can call me Kasui-san, senpai.
What a beautiful name!
*They keep walking*
...
Isn't she going to ask?
Kibe: Um... Aren't you going to ask my name?
Kurata: ... What's your name, senpai?
Kibe: My name is Takayuki, Takayuki Kibe, you can call me senpai!
Kurata: Okay, Takabi-senpai.
Kibe: Huh?
...
*awkward silence*
THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING! SHE'S SO RESERVED! Oh, I'm almost near my house. Where is her house?
Kibe: Um... sorry if I'm late to ask, but where do you live around here?
Kurata: Oh, I don't live here, I live in the opposite direction.
Kibe: Eh? THEN... Why'd you follow me?
Kurata: I felt sorry for you that's all.
Ouch.
Note: Critical Hit.
Kurata: See you, Takani-senpai.
Kibe: Um, ok. Thanks.
She was brutally blunt. I don't know what to say about what just happened.
Kibe: I'm just gonna play games and watch anime...
Note: Progress: 0.01% to flag capture
April 13, 20XX
8:10 AM
ANOTHER DAY. ANOTHER TECHNIQUE. I wouldn't say yesterday was pointless, but if it kept going like that, we'd be talking by the time we graduate, I can't have that.
Time for TECHNIQUE 2!
*Door opens*
*Teacher goes in and closes the door*
Teacher: Students, I have an announcement to make...
Wait, don't tell me...
*Door opens*
*A cute little girl with an unusual outfit with lots of frills that suit an idol*
*Everyone looks at her with amazed eyes, some boys with evil intent*
Student(in front of Kibe): Masato-sensei, are we gonna have an exchange student?
Yano(Yano Masato): Precisely, Madoka-kun! *looks at the girl* Please introduce yourself to the class.
Yokoyama: Good morning everyone, my name is Maruhi Yokoyama. Pleased to meet you all.
Yano: She's the leader of one of the most famous idol groups, Milly Minty Mew Mew.
4 guys in different seats: YEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
Gimme a break, another distraction, an idol protagonist? REALLY?
Yoshida(in front of Kibe): LUCKIEST DAY EVERRRRRR!
Note: Yoshida Madoka, 1st row, 3rd column.
Arata: Lower your voice, Yoshida.
Note: Arata Masaru, 4th row, 5th column.
Hara: This must be my dream come true, he kneels down, PLEASE MARRY ME!
Note: Hara Katsuro, 2nd row, 2nd column.
Ishimoto: *yawns*
Note: Ishimoto Takashi, 3rd row, 5th column. Together, they are...
The Slice-of-Life Boys. One of the last things I'd ever resort to, the same as Idol. I need to get away from them as soon as possible. I don't need to listen to what happens, I'm just gonna ignore everything that happens here, it just takes time, and worst of all, FILLER FOR MY PROGRESS!
*School bell rings*
*People gather around the idol*
I'm not dumb enough to fall for that. Idol anime have no romance, it's usually about how they overcome difficulties and make songs, shows, and stuff. COUNT ME OUT!
Kouhai chemistry failed, time for plan B.
*Kibe goes up the stairs and opens a classroom*
Kibe: SENPAI! ANY SENPAIS AVAILABLE?
Note: Has he learned anything? Small progress for the foolish forgettable character.
END OF EPISODE 4
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