Chapter 2: Chapter 2
I couldn't open my eyes properly because of the sunlight. Maybe I would've preferred a brumous and dull day. I couldn't think straight due to the headache. Somehow I tried to recall what had actually happened that lead to all this.
I started examining the room I was in. It was quite old and elegant. Seeing Ms. Annesley sit on the chair in front of my bed startled me.
"You woke up." She said, as she ran her concerned eyes over me.
"What had happened?" I somehow asked.
"You fainted." My mum entered the room as she spoke out.
I nodded and slowly closed my eyes. Sighing. Did I just cause extra difficulty on them again? Maybe. I was tired with my own behavior, I can't imagine how tired Mum and Dad must be with their daughter's ailing.
"Are you okay now, dear?" Mum asked in an uptight tone. I nodded and gave out my assuring smile.
"Could you tell me what had happened?" asked Ms. Annesley, as she stared directly at me. Probably she was analyzing me.
"I maybe had a panic attack, I'm not sure." I replied in a unsure way.
"Maybe?"
"Okay, no maybe. I had a panic attack," I mumbled.
She grinned. (I don't know why). "Well, nothing to be worried about. For someone keeping their thoughts all to themselves it's normal to have sudden and frequently occurring panic attacks. Judging by your condition and past reports, I would say you have those symptoms. If you want to I could help you get rid of these symptoms, but I need your full co-operation." She said confidently.
I nodded. I thought to myself that I should cooperate from now on. Maybe it would help and maybe I could start being less of a burden to my parents.
"Would it be alright for you to come tomorrow?" Ms. Annesley asked.
"Tomorrow? For what?" Mum asked hastily.
"I would love to continue the session tomorrow." Ms. Annesley replied and turned sideways to look at my face. The pit of my stomach twisted in agitation.
"Yes, of course." Mom agreed happily. But on the other hand I started to feel really uneasy about it.
"Is that alright with you, Samaira?" Ms. Annesley might have noticed my discomfort and for confirmation she asked me. I nodded.
"Of course. No problem at all." That's what I was supposed to say. But it would have been a certain lie. Cause deep inside I just wanted to scream and say no to the therapy sessions.
**
I waited inside the car. Mum being Mum, always forgetting to take things. Just when we are supposed to leave, she started to hustle.
"Oh God. I forgot to take my phone. I'll get it. You wait in the car, sweetheart" She said. When she came back she started the car.
"Fasten your belt. I don't want you to die because of your reckless driving. Also I don't wanna be killed." I said.
"Are you saying your Mum is a reckless driver?" She widened her eyes dramatically and chuckled. Then she fastened her belt properly.
The sound of the engine was aggravating. Mum turned on the GPS. As I starred out of the window, automatically my hand worked to slide down the glass.
As soon as the glass was down, a gentle cold breeze touched the warmth of my cheeks, the fresh smell of winter afternoon tingled my nostrils. The softness of the sun ray sparkled through the window. I closed my eyes and kept trying to feel the lukewarm weather. Suddenly my jumbled up memories started flashing right in front of my eyes.
"Samaira, I'm sorry." He said, sounding apologetic.
"You always come too late. I don't wanna talk to you. I thought at least today you'd remember." I said, trying my hardest to suppress my anger but failing miserably.
He pulled me by my hand, grabbing it in a fierce way. I tried to let go. But he's obduracy took control over him.
"I'm sorry!" He said in a childish manner.
"No! Let me go. You shithead!"
Then I forcefully moved away. I opened the window of my room. Letting the exhausting air run out of the room and slowly the thin cold air flowed inside with the smell of the winter afternoon. A fresh awakening smell.
I inhaled and exhaled. I could feel my anger melting away with a sudden touch of warmth. The air was filled up with the smell of Daphne flowers. I was drawn by the sweetness in the air and later on I soon realized it was these tiny flowers that created the alluring smell.
He came forward and hugged me from behind.
"A really nice day, isn't it?" He said, letting out a gentle chuckle.
I smiled. I loved it when he would come and hug me from behind. I loved it when he would beg to me just to forgive him for his little mistakes.
"I'm sorry." he said, as his hazel eyes kept glowing.
"I'm not forgiving you." I replied but my voice became low.
His nuzzled my neck then kissed it slowly. Made my body swell in pleasure.
"Stop." My tone not at all confident.
"Stop what? Beg me and I'll stop." He chuckled.
"Stop stop." My body took control over my mind as I could feel the heat.
"Now you don't want me to stop, do you?." He laughed and it was the most beautiful sound I had heard. I really did not want him to stop. I wanted to give my all to him. Let him devour me the way he wanted. Slowly his hand moved downwards. Grabbing one of my breasts. I tried not to get embarrassed. Facing him, I grasped tightly onto his t-shirt. My face and body equally heated.
"I love you." He said.
I lost my control and closed my eyes. My mind told me to let him do whatever he liked. What he does and what will he do certainly exhilarated me in a way I couldn't explain.
He pushed me against the wall, gently, making sure to touch my sensitive nipple. He did not go more down. I got frustrated but I didn't want to say it. He brought his face lower and slowly put his face inside the t-shirt I was wearing, slowly taking my bra off. Sucking and biting my breasts. He would always rush when he got frustrated but at the same time he would just be passionate.
I moaned. I made a sound I thought I couldn't make.
"Stop. Do you think about anything else besides sex?" I mumbled.
"Why is your body reacting?" He asked.
I couldn't reply. I was embarrassed and felt like hiding my face.
"It's you who makes me wanna do this to you. I don't usually react like this." He murmured in my right ear. Shivers ran down through my spine. My body electrified as I started to sweat. "Not my fault, it's you who makes me lose control." He smiled. Then slowly moved away from me, I pulled him closer, looked straight into his eyes, and before I knew it. I was under his spell.
I hesitantly said,"Stop!" (knowing far to well my body didn't want him to). He said "And if I don't?" I kept quiet as his body brushed up against mine. He whispered "You belong to me" in my ears.
"I love you too." That was the first time I replied to him.
"Samaira!" Suddenly I was pulled out of my thoughts and a wave of sadness surrounded my air. I hated winter afternoons and I hated this weather. I hated how time kept passing by, yet I was stuck there. There, where my happiness laid off.
"Did you fall asleep?" Mum asked. When I did not answer she said, "We are here love. Your next session."
After struggling with my thoughts and fighting to keep it all aside, making sure not to let a single tear drop. I opened the car door and headed for my next deadly session.
***
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