Synopsis
A man from Earth died after getting laid off from his company. He woke up only to find that he has been reincarnated. Follow his journey and his adventure/miss-adventure in this bright new world.
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I'm a rookie author so please forgive me for any grammar mistakes. I'll try to keep it simple as English is not my primary language. Constructive reviews and comments are appreciated
Cover by my friend, https://www.instagram.com/nbdyart/
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Just a shameless author reviewing his own works, don't mind me. :) Seriously though, please leave a constructive review so that I can improve as a writer [img=recommend]
cool story so far everything is good, need more.........................................................................................................................................................................................................
bit.ly/3LyRF1N ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
Couldnโt get past the point where he got his system. I feel like I am reading a summary of a bastardized amilgimation of system novels and clichรฉs wherein every character has the personality of a wet blanket and the worldbuilding is unironically worse than a childrens storybook.
The story starts off all right the grammer is not the best and the flow is not great either. The MC has no talent in magic and becomes an aura user which is a nice change of pace. And then it is all ruined when the author gives a system to the MC. Yea completely ruined it for me and the thing was the MC was progressing fine and was actually a very talented aura user. So the author had no need to have a system.
Reveal Spoiler
Yah there's potential here, and you can tell it was definitely inspired by "mushoko tensei" which isn't a bad thing, that's how most stories are made. However I just can't, get with the pacing. It goes by 1 year, 2 year, "after three years of doing dah, dah, dah; I have yet to improve. Don't think it to be boring to explain what happens in those couple years. This builds the word around us and let's us get to know the characters struggle.
While the premise was fairly decent, the writing needs to be changed quite a bit. The character dialogues needs to be in separate sentences sometimes. What you did here just made everything feel cramped and cold to read. I'll take a paragraph from your novel as an example here; ----------------------------------------------------------------------------Alright, open the gates. The commander wanted to meet him", Rex ordered. "Yes sir!" one of the guards took out a key from his pocket before unlocking the metal door. The sounds of the metal door opening reverberated across the hallway. "We'll go in now. Close the door after", said the white-haired man. "Yes commander. Good luck!" said both of the guards simultaneously as they watched both Rex and the white-haired man walked inside. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'll continue my review in the comment for this review
I haven't managed to read a lot of the chapters, but based on what I've read so far, the story is quite intriguing. The progression is not too rushed, but it's not too slow either. Every chapter was written with care. Keep up the good work, author.
the writing is good, story progression is good, I feel cheated by the fact that every paid chapter has the equivalent of half of it being the previous chapter. it seems as though the author is just padding the word.
The plot develops well throughout the chapter and the picture created is admirable with an enjoyable storyline. As a reader i got sinked in this world the Author had created. A fascinating escape from reality into another world. A great read
Awesome. Great storyline I can say. I can't help but get excited to find out what is gonna happen in the next coming chapters. Keeping going author, ๐๐ All the best.
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Hi! This is kerawood, an editor of the international writing contest SWA II. I believe your book has great potential, so I invited you to join in a week ago. Please reply to me so I can discuss this with you in detail. This contest is free entry.
Cool i like the way you made the MC talentless in magic. In some reincarnation stories the Mc is always talented it kinda becomes boring for me. Keep up the good work
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Say hello to the one who... Hello!! Are we going to review this? Yes, we are!! Can we just give it 5-star and left? No!! But we just did... LOL!!
The story progression is very good and I have enjoyed every bit of it. There are not many thing going on at the same time making it easy to understand.