"You want a chocolate cone?" I am sitting on the bar-table when I see a hand holding a half-eaten Cornetto in my sight. Tracing up, I see a familiar face, dark-gray eyes, and the auburn-colored hair Ed.
"Hey man!" I reach out to him to give him a hug. He embraces me with difficulty, trying to balance that cone and to not dirty my tank top. Being close to him, I look into his eyes, and they give me a sense of calmness, an actual feeling of being home. "Damn, I did not miss you one bit."
"But I do." Ed uses his free hand to mess with my hair while laughing widely, "I know you don't mean it."
We are now standing in front of the 7-11 Convenience store, the only one on 38th street. Because there is no air-conditioning at home, I feel dizzy and exhausted, hugging the ceramic tiles for the entire day. It is also awkward, as I did not tell any of my friends that I am back from school; my exams were over and I shifted my flight a week early. And I knew they don't like surprises, so I just didn't have the guts to approach them as of yet. But here stands Edgar, one of my besties since childhood. I bloom with high spirits instantly. Oh, how I missed him and all the others.
"I am going home after getting some groceries at Lotus, you wanna join?" Gosh, I really do need this invitation. I just want to have some company and go somewhere to escape the summer hell at home.
I nod furiously.
Ed similes and messes with my hair again, this time pulling my cheeks. "You know, it would be great to have you as my little sister. My brother is so annoying. He just can't stop interrupting me while I am studying."
Together, we troll towards his Honda. This is new. I didn't know that he drives. "See, this is the car I told you about. I got it for my eighteenth birthday." He pulls out the car key, instantly the vehicle responds with a blink in its front lights. Then, Ed draws the front door open, "this way."
When we are all settled, he starts the car. I just enjoy the rush of cool breeze brushing against my cheeks. "Air-conditioning is seriously the best invention of the centuries" I sigh. I remember myself going through messages, but I might have missed his. I just hope he didn't mind my "on read" on Instagram.
"Ahahahaha." Ed picks up his handkerchief and wipes his sweat away, "You are sweating so badly girl. Do you want to dry it off?"
I am just so tired, I don't feel like moving. "Nah, I just want to act dead for a moment."
"Well, okay then." And he reaches towards me, using a new handkerchief to gently absorb the sweat on my forehead and gradually down to my neck. The lavender perfume mixes with the manly scent that covers me. I put my hand on my chest, protecting myself from further intimacy. I glance at him, and our eyes meet.
Ed smiles. He is so good looking. He was the prom king in middle school for three years straight. Now, his dark-gray eyes are just awaiting me to melt down and remove my protection. But this is not going to happen. Not with me, not with Jessica Harada. I take a gasp of air, and breathe in, "Hey, don't come so close!" I kiddingly push him back to the driver seat.
"If I don't come that close, how can I help you with the seatbelt, Jess." His lowered voice vibrates against my ears. Before I notice, he leans so close to me, I can hear his heart beating. He then fastened my seatbelt for me with a click.
Now, I really lose my ability to speak. I don't understand why everytime I am with him, I have this sense of anticipation that he might do something to me. Maybe it is because of his flirtatious character. He can flirt with anyone, anywhere. One time, I brought my classmate from highschool home, since she wants to visit Bangkok. Ed just asked her on dates, played with her hair, and even leaned in so close, their cheeks touched. And I was sitting in Ed's room witnessing this.
But this still cannot explain the nervousness and slight fulfillment that follow Ed's actions to me. We are childhood friends, anything feeling developing is just unacceptable. It will not happen.
"See, now we are all set." Ed steps on the accelerator, and off we are on the way. "I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable just then girl."
"No, we are besties aren't we." I laugh.
"Yes, that's my girl!" He extends his arms and I reach out for the fist bump.
"Hahaha. I will always be on your side." I cheerfully add on, "just so you know."
"Yea…" He reaches to the bottle-holder and I hand him the soda, "What are you up to for summer?"
"Ohh, you know I started teaching already."
"Wow wow wow, someone is getting rich." Ed turns the button on the radio, and the volume increases. It is a smooth song, Ed Sheeran's Photograph. To be honest, I feel warmth from my chest. It must be because I miss the feeling of being myself. High School is stressful. I had a role there, and I must always be that smart, all embracing best friend of everyone. Having someone who knows everything, or let's say most of me, is just relaxing.
"Yes, and soon I'll be opening a bakery around here seeing you everyday. But seriously, I am enjoying teaching this guy. I really like it when he is around."
"This is new. How come I didn't hear about it. Tell me more." Ed demands.
"Well, this guy, Samuel, just moved here recently. He studied up till N4 on his own. I think his level is a little below that. But he has very clear goals, like you know, he wants to study Japanese to go to university there." I don't know what I should do in life. And Sam already knew everything: he wants to study law in Tokyo, become a lawyer to fight corporate injustice. He just seemed so much more mature than I am.
"Oh, so he will need to get to N1, right?"
"Yea, with a good grade. But I believe he can do it, you know. He is smart and really hardworking. Besides, I think his grammar and writing is solid, I only need to improve his speaking and listening skills."
"Well, that should be relatively easy. Just take him on a date, go around Bangkok. There is so much you both can talk about and it is just a constructive and creative way of learning." Ed excitedly replies. He is now wearing a pair of sunglasses which makes his skin comparatively paler, much paler than before.
"Nice suggestion. But it's not like we have to go on a date though." I grin as I imagine myself going out with Sam, teaching him the fundamentals of conversation while he patiently listens and notes down the pointers in his ipad. Honestly a nice idea.
"Well, for me, when a guy and a girl go out together they are essentially on a date. Don't you agree?"
"Wait, but that will mean that we are on a date too?" My stomach cringes as I burst out this question. I just hope that he said no, but also, I don't really know.
"Hah! You are trying to hit on me right?" He bent over. All of a sudden, I feel uneasy all over. I want to move, but also he is so close, like any closer our lips could touch. But just before I could think any further, he laughs, "You're like my best best best friend. I love you so much Jess!"
"Yea, I am trying to hit you, bitch." My brain is going to explode while my heart pounds in confusion.
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