Chapter 40: Absurd.
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Yuki stared at the man seated across the table having breakfast.
"Yuna san... I hope your stay here is comfortable." He smiled.
"Yes. It is. Thankyou Hashirama sama."
She felt annoyed, really annoyed. The only reason she could control herself and maintain her manners and the false facade was because of all those etiquette lessons she had to take since childhood AND the delicious food in front of her. Looking at the atmosphere and a peculiar smiling old lady and the face of the Senju leader, she quickly realized that she had to act along with him.
"You.. Don't need to be so formal with me." Hashirama laughed, while the white head brother of his glared daggers at her. She ignored him and started eating. She was starving and just wanted to eat. Food always somehow made her feel calm. Despite all the mocking she used to get from the other ladies of her clan for eating 'like a man', she never stopped eating a plateful of food. She did not know how these ladies survived on such small portions of food... she knew she couldn't. She eats just as much as Izuna. Yet nobody scolded him.
Later she realized it was because they were worried about her getting 'Heavy'. But that felt annoying to Yuki. She still practiced her Taijutsu, which kept her in good shape, unlike those ladies who never lifted a stone from the ground. It's so simple - eat properly and sweat hard. But they felt 'training' and 'sweating' were unbecoming of a lady. They kept bothering her but stopped when her figure filled out properly and people started deeming her as an attractive lady.
She always found it all so nonsensical. How in times like these, when clans were at constant war, these ladies were more worried about 'eating habits' rather than their men who were dying daily? Sometimes she felt sick at witnessing bloodthirsty sparks between the women in her clan. They all carried the same clans' name, but it didn't stop them from creating factions, taking sides to bite each other. All those stupid gossips and jealousies, even in such a warring era like this. Yuki realized the reason for the existence of stereotypes against females. And it became apparent as she started growing up. Especially from the way her father treated her and the way the elders disdained females.
Her eyes fell on the sweetened Dango placed on the side of the table near the old woman. She remembered all the times Izuna had bought her these treats and teased her about her eating habits.
'Izuna nii...'
"I'm so glad to meet you Yuna san, I hope you didn't face much trouble while traveling here" Senju Chiharu smiled at her. The old lady had a pleasant aura, and she seemed like a lovely person. Yuki let out a sigh inwardly now that she felt less nervous. "No. I didn't. Thanks to Tobirama... Sama." Yuki mumbled, glaring back at the white head. Feeling bitter for using a respectful honorific for that hateful man.
"Ah, Tobirama! Where are your manners? Stop gawking at the lady!" Chiharu chided Tobirama, then continued, "I'm sorry dear, he's normally not like this, I guess he must have taken a liking to you."
Yuki had no idea how this old woman mistook his bloodthirsty glaring for 'gawking' and 'liking'. She's delusional. "I'm afraid you are mistaken my-"
"Aishh! I've not mistaken my child. I know this boy ever since he was an infant!"
"Aunt... Stop." Tobirama wanted to run away somewhere. Even better, just disappear. He would have done so long ago if his Aniki wasn't pressing his shoulder down this entire time.
"I'm so glad your clan responded to our request!" the old lady rejoiced.
'Huh? What request?' Yuki glanced at Hashirama, who now had an awkward, stressed smile plastered on his face.
"Don't worry, my dear. Take your time to adjust here. I never knew the lady of the Nakamura clan would be such a beauty! I would love to see you get along with my nephew."
Yuki stiffened. She had a bad feeling about this.
"Tell me, are you comfortable here? How do you like our estate? Did Tobirama show you around yet?" the cheerful old lady started bombarding her with questions.
Yuki couldn't help but notice how similar Hashirama's usual aura was to this old lady's. 'Definitely... Related.'
"....." Yuki just stared at them with a blank look.
"What's wrong, my dear?"
"Ah! Don't worry aunt, She's just... Nervous HAHAHA!" Hashirama laughed out loud, awkwardly scratching his head. His other hand rested on Tobirama's shoulder... But somehow it seemed tense, like it was applying pressure.
'Is... Hashi pressing him down?'
The white head slightly flinched.
'He is.'
.
.
"Damn it!" Tobirama sneered.
"Tobirama! you better mind your manners. You are lucky to have such a beautiful girl as your wife candidate."
WHAT? Yuki's head shot up, face contorted in disbelief.
.
.
Chiharu looked at her worriedly "Are you okay, child?"
"....."
—Chiharu's POV—
"Oh! You must be nervous." she laughed. People usually tend to get nervous around her nephews, especially around Tobirama "Do not fret, my dear.I know your stay here is short, but I assure you both will get along just fine."
Her gaze shifted to Tobirama, then to the girl. They would make such a beautiful couple...
"I would love to see you as his wife." Chiharu smiled, encouragingly.
The moment Hashirama had told her about this proposal, Chiharu felt like an immense weight had been lifted off her heart. In her youthful years, she worked as a medic ninja and aided her brothers and her husband at the base camps to heal the wounded. But one day, a surprise attack led her to sustain heavy injuries. Even though she survived, she lost her husband and her son. To add to her misery, the injury to her uterus was beyond repair.
A sense of loss and loneliness had always surrounded her ever since then. She had lost all meaning and reasons to live. For a long time, she was bitter and angry towards the world and her fate....till her nephews were born. Even though it took a while, she slowly learned to let bygones be bygones.
She loved her nephews just like her own children. Even though she knew how capable both boys were, she couldn't help but worry about Tobirama. Hashirama was more cheerful and positive. And he had Mito. But Tobirama... He had always seemed so lonely to her and took no interest in settling down. He was married to his work. And it deeply worried her. Whenever she would bring up the topic about finding a wife for him, he would get annoyed.
She had given up all hope. But now...
"Hashirama... I'm so happy."
*Sniff*
She could finally rest in peace now that she knew her nephews won't be lonely. Like her. "You are a good brother. If your parents were alive... they would be so proud," she mumbled while wiping her tears with her handkerchief.
—Yuki's pov—
Yuki's shocked gaze locked with Tobirama's. Even though he was looking at her, she knew his mind (or soul) wasn't here at the moment...
She glanced down.
'What is this nonsense? Does this old lady think I'm... I'm this Senju's wife candidate?'
'Who is this Yuna of the Nakamura clan? How come I've never heard of such a clan?'
Yuki just chewed the food while her mind havocked.
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"Yuki... I'm so sorry for making you go through this. Please accept my sincere apologies" The Senju leader bowed his head.
Yuki just stared at him, incredulously. This man just told her to lie to the Senju's that she's 'Yuna' of Nakamura clan, who is to be betrothed to a Senju for the sake of the alliance. Apparently, Hashirama never contacted the not-so-famous merchant clan of Nakamura who lives far, far away in some land but lied to the Senju elders that he met them while traveling to meet the Uzumaki's and saved them from some bandit's. The clan head was so happy that he proposed an alliance with the Senju. So Hashirama, being a 'Good Brother' accepted their offer, i.e the hand of the leader's daughter for his younger brother.
And to her dismay, his naïve Aunt Senju Chiharu believed this utter nonsense and took a liking to her and now wants her to get betrothed to her nephew, Senju Tobirama.
The absurdity of everything just felt unreal to her at the moment. "Why should I lie for you people?"
"If you want to live, then better lie as long as you stay here," Tobirama replied.
She just ignored him and continued "Can't you just let me go? Why make such a fuss?"
"I wish I could do that Yuki san, but... Things are not as easy as it seems. I will let you know about everything, but please bear with us for now." Hashirama sighed.
"I don't understand, Senju... Why are you doing this?"
"To prevent war. I'm doing this to prevent more bloodshed. You know very well that Madara wouldn't just stop at having you back safely." Hashirama replied, sadness overtaking his eyes as he spoke. "I'm currently trying to get details regarding the ambush attack."
He explained his dreams to her. About how he wanted to attain peace by forming a settlement of various clans and also told her about his friendship with Madara and his attempts of convincing him to accept the peace treaty, the dream they both shared once.
Yuki studied Hashirama's face silently.It was the first time she had seen such unfounded conviction glimmering in his eyes; the will to change this world. She could also sense the sadness in those brown eyes of his that she once adored so much.
Yuki still had some lingering feelings for him, which she was well aware of. But they were the same people that fought her brothers and killed her brother Taka. No matter how much she adored Hashi, she knew she couldn't love him more than her family, her brothers.
"I have one request from you...Hashi san" Yuki mumbled. Her heart clenching as she noticed his eyes glitter... Oh, how she adored those eyes, so full of hope and care. He was like the warmth of bright sunlight after long, cold rainy days...He was someone she didn't deserve. Someone as impure as her didn't belong with him.
"What is it, Yuki san? I will try to fulfill your request if it's reasonable enough and is within my power."
Yuki clenched her fist tighter, her fingers digging into the skin of her palm as she remembered Arata and Taka "I want you both to promise me...that you will not kill my brothers."
-Silence -
Tobirama glared at her, his jaw clenching as he tried to calm himself. Hashirama noticed his agitation and gave him the look, telling him to calm down. "Yuki san... You know that our clans have been at constant war throughout the ages." He reasoned "Even though I would never want to hurt my friend and his family. This isn't something I can guarantee."
"You said you want Madara nii san to settle for peace. Right?"
"That is right. But I feel its-"
"I will help you. I will help you if you don't kill my family."
Hashirama's eyes glistened with a ray of hope. He knew Madara loved his siblings. And yesterday he witnessed how much he cares for Yuki. Maybe if she persuades him...
"And how will you 'convince' your brothers?" Tobirama questioned. His tone was quite cold and mocking, which confused Hashirama.
"You don't need to know tha." she replied, without even sparing him a glance which only annoyed him further.
"HA! Of course, you can't tell." He glared at her, trying to push a reaction out of her. But the girl stood there still and expressionless, like a lifeless doll.
"Tobi... That's not necessary right now" Hashirama sighed.
"Seriously, I can't believe women like you actually exist," Tobirama snickered. Anger consuming him once more.
"Tobirama."
"Quite Aniki. I'm talking to her." Tobirama snapped. He could feel it.. he was losing his temper again!
It surprised Hashirama to see his usually level-headed brother boiling with anger like this "Tobirama, this is no way to talk to a lady!"
"Lady? She's no Lady Aniki. She's a sick whore who-"
"TOBIRAMA!"
Yuki shivered, feeling the sudden burst of enormous, overpowering chakra from the Senju leader. Tobirama quickly shut his mouth, instantly regretting his cruel words as guilt started churning inside him. I shouldn't have called her that...
He knew that he hated Uchiha's, so he must hate her too. So why is he feeling guilty now if he hates her? The way she kept ignoring him hurt him even more. But isn't it obvious that she would avoid him after what he did to her? Tobirama gritted his teeth as he palmed his face. He was feeling too jumbled and confused. "Calm down Aniki... I apologize"
"It's not me you should apologize to," Hashirama growled.
Tobirama looked at her. She didn't even mind turning towards him
"I apologize."
"Hn," Yuki replied, not bothering to face him.
"Yuki-san, I'm sorry f-"
A knock on the door draws their attention. Hashirama pauses in his talking to call out, "Come in!"
Soon enough, a young woman not much older than Yuki, steps in. She bows to them, "Good morning, Senju-sama."
They return her greeting with nods, Then her eyes fell on Yuki, upon which she smiled "Good morning, Nakamura sama"
Yuki nods back, acknowledging the greeting, even though hearing that name irritated her.
The woman stands back up, a bright smile in place."Sorry to interrupt your meeting, but," she holds up a paper to Hashirama, "I have to remind you about the Uzumaki's visit for the celebration of the Lantern lighting festival. We have prepared everything for their stay, here are the details."
"Ahh! Yes! When are they visiting?"
"They already did. They are at the gates as we speak."
"...." Hashirama stiffened in his chair.
Tobirama let out a sigh "Aniki. You forgot about it. Didn't you?"
Hashirama smiled "No. No of course not!... I will be there in a moment. I have some matters to settle with Yuk- Yuna san... "
Both Yuki and Tobirama could figure out that the Senju leader had forgotten about it from the way his face paled.
"Tobi... Could you please... In my place g-"
"I get it. Be quick, Aniki." Tobirama frowned. It was a good chance to escape this atmosphere. Staying near her was doing no good to his mental peace. Her ignoring his existence didn't exactly help him either. He felt awkward and wanted nothing more than just to stay away from her at the moment.
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---(Next day)----
Yuki stared at the sky. The sun was a toddler insistently refusing to go to bed.
She tried to escape several times, and each time ended up being caught by that annoying Senju whitehead. The last time she had almost made it to the forest without being noticed... but ended up facing Tobirama again. With her chakra points blocked, she couldn't use any chakra, not even her Sharingan. She searched for the needles everywhere but later realized that the hateful Senju had already disposed of them.
While the sky turned orange to purple, she kept thinking about the talk she had with the Senju leader yesterday.
Hashirama promised her he wouldn't kill her brothers and will take her back to the Uchiha estate in few days if she cooperated with them for the time being. He also asked for her help in convincing Madara to accept the peace treaty in return for keeping his promise. She didn't entirely trust him, especially that brother of his, but she knew she had no other choice.
For a moment she wondered if she should even go back home. After that night with her brother, she had been avoiding everyone. She kept herself holed up in her room, not wanting to interact with people. She knew all hell must have broken loose by now and various ugly rumors must be going wild regarding her disappearance. She honestly didn't want to face all that. The thought that she will have to provide proof of being pure to the elders disturbed her the most. Those wretched old people missed no chance to belittle her.
She wanted to laugh at herself....her life and her futile attempts to make some meaning out of it. She found it absurd- The laws, the people, the society, the world. For a moment, everything felt absurd to her.
She remembered Hashirama's words... 'The will of fire', 'The hope for a better future'. The more she thought about it, the more she felt that it's such an uncertain belief.
'It's like an attempt to flee...Flee from the unsettling realization of the absurdity of life.
An escape through faith and... hope.'
The only certain thing about Human life is death. It's a futile merry-go-round with no end but death.
'Will death fix everything?'
Because the only answer she'd ever seen from a solution like war ... is death.
She remembered what her grandmother had once told her when she kept crying over Arata and Taka's death. She had asked her if this war would ever end. And the old woman had just shook her head and mumbled;
'Only the dead have seen the end of war.'
Yuki shook her head to shake away her thoughts. Sometimes she delved too deeper into memories. She knew the absurdity of wars. But no matter how stupid of a solution it seemed...the reality is that it exists. And maybe Hashirama's dream of a peaceful settlement—even though not a very reliable solution, is still an attempt to change.
An attempt to change this world.
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