Chapter 2: Nostalgia
-"lucy! Wake up sweetheart !It's 6:30 ,time for school! ".
Yes , it's time ... .Well after having an awful night of unstoppable crying i gotta ′ wake up and just start the day the way it is. No backwards ,no sadness ,no anxiousness ,no stress ,no feelings at all .Now I have to figure out how to leave the bed , my pillow ,drag myself from my terrible hibernation ,try to stand on my feet without falling again.Try to face life for one more time 'cause there is no choice after all . Today i am not going to die !.
Sometimes i just hate waking up in the morning , i am hopeless ,powerless , can't move my mouth and say 'Good morning'.It's the most horrific word in the entire universe .THERE IS NO GOOD MORNINGS AT ALL ! They don't exist , and even if they did then why i wake everyday with puffy bulbous red eyes or with a yellow pale face .It feels like nothing make sense from the beginning .Words which are meant to express things to us , to reflect our feelings ,are also ling to us .In the end no one is telling the truth we are trying to hide , we make up stories to convince our heads that everything is going to be all right , but clearly it's not .we are in a way kind of slaves to our minds .It want us to be perfect , not to make mistakes to be always right , to be genius ... but genius people are legends , and i am asking myself why we are believing theories and facts discovered by people we don't know , we are in a way naive...
It the end i finish by waking up whether i like or not i have to .I go to the bathroom , look at myself in the mirror , and see how pathetic i am , how i am being so small in front of myself , how disgusting i was , how i meant nothing to the world and to my family .I look at the glass and i hate what i see , i fell angry mad ,i feel weak ,i can't...I close my eyes for one more time and i try to disappear from the room , from the house , from the world ;i try so hard to forget about who i am but i don't .You can't do nothing against reality ,it's sacred , it's the unbreakable the untouchable ,it's always kept clean , and away from strangers' hands like me .You can not change who you are .That is why it's called the present 'cause you don't know what 's coming next .I open my eyes again and nothing changed me, i was myself standing in front of bathe room mirror , terribly exhausted , clearly tiered .But i do my best to hide it to be strong , not to fall now .
Don't FALL !!!LUCY!!!!
OK fine , one more time everything is gone be alright .I leave the rest room heavily .I see my mom's face smiling at me , not everyday she did that but today she showed me her white teeth , her cute ,beautiful dimples .She was hurrying up to put my lunch box in my suitcase .She was like a sun coming out from a strong storm , she was looking for me with her shining , stunning eyes .They were like stars , although it was a sunny day but i can see them glittering with a blue color .And i thought about a memory we share it me and her i don't know how i remember it or why , it just crossed my mind like a lost arrow ...
10 Years ago , one summery evening missing between the chaos of an old golden time ....
-Mommy ,mom ,!!! Where are you ?
-Yes darling ! i am right here ! What's the matter ,?
She was asking me what i want , and she was holding me or kind of protecting me from an invisible monster ,she kissed me on both checks .She put me on her lap . -Mommy i feel so bored , i want to go out .Let's go together me and you mommy -You wanna buy some ice cream , don't you ? -Yes , i love vanilla ice cream momy.
So recklessly with no thinking without so much talking or giving and taking , she grabbed her keys , hold me hand and we walk out of the house to the car .Our car was small not brand new luxury car but for me it meant everything .It feels like driving to heaven with family by it .In it i can hear stories i never understand about i don't know who , i can listen to music talking about things i don't get them , i just follow the melody and sing loudly .We can travel by our car , actually we don't travel so much but when we do it's kind of a carnaval .Yes it's our magical car i love it so much i have really good memories in there .So we got into the car .And my mom turns on the motor .I love that sound , it means we 're leaving the house and forgetting everything ; just starting new .That's what i used to think about years ago .That evening it was such a lovely ,divine sunset .The sun was so big like a recording disk .It was shining so hard .I can not forget the colors of that magnificent picture , there was yellow , orange , purple and some soft lines of pink .It was like an angel saying hi to me , it was like a peace of heaven standing in front of me with its brightness and beautifullness .I felt happy that time there was sun ,there was peace there were our car ,and there was mom the daughter of the real sun .So i looked at her and i saw her hair waving slowly with the move of the soft hot windy air and i asked her :
-Why is the sun following us momy ?
-well ! Because the sun loves you and don't wanna lose your way she decieded to follow you to the ice cream shop ..
-OUUUH !!! Thanks miss sun , i love her too momy...
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
lennon
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