Chapter 1: Chapter One: Tears Shed
The alarm clock buzzed in my ear. Groaning I opened my eyes to the darkness outside the window. Sitting up on the bed, I looked outside my window. Right above the buildings the sky was getting lighter. In the distance it looked like someone had draped a purple and pink blanket across the skyline. The lights in the buildings were still dark and gloomy. They loomed over the city covering it in a thick darkness. That's what I hate about the Bronx. The city is always dark and dirty. I had been thinking about where I would go when I am older. Another city? Town? Or stay here and live the dull life that is expected of my future. I don't think I could handle living here for the rest of my life. I already loath this place, it makes me angry that everyone here expects so little of people. Don't others have aspirations? Wants? Needs and desires they have to fill in their lives? I have to stop thinking of this, it's making me depressed.
I stood in front of the mirror in my nightgown, tracing the bruises on my arms and chest. New, old and disappearing. I heal quickly. My mother isn't home very much anymore. She's always out drinking and doing drugs with her friends. I don't even know if they really are her friends or if she just hangs out with them because of the drugs. I remember how on my 13th birthday I had to call an ambulance because she had gotten a bad batch of cocaine. I cant remember her ever being clean. What happened that made her turn to drugs? Was it me? I know I'm not the most perfect daughter, but I stay home and I go to work to pay her bills and her addiction. I was taken out of school at 16 for the sole purpose of working. She had told my teachers that it was because she could teach me better than any of them could. No one stopped her. No one cared about what is best for me, or what I think is right or wrong. A scream that had come from the next door apartment interrupted my thoughts, I could hear the woman, yelling that she is better than him, that she doesn't need him. I've never known my neighbors. It's too dangerous here to get caught up in other people's business when you have enough of your own problems. I turned on the shower, letting the drops hit the bath tub and drown out the yelling. The water had barely warmed up but I was used to cold showers. I tried to get the last bit of shampoo out of the bottle. No success. There wasn't even a bar of soap in here. I shivered as I pulled on clothes for work. The diner wasn't too far from here. Just a couple of blocks down, but far enough when you're walking through tons of people. Banging came from the door. Please be the police I whispered opening the door. "Jamie's here"! Mom yelled as she waked past me. I gagged as I caught sent of her breath. The odor of booze filled my nostrils. "What do you need mom"? I asked as she rummaged through my dresser drawers. She looked up at me. I tried to find any life left in her eyes, but all I saw was a lust for drugs, the urging need pulsing through her veins. "Oh don't worry about me hunny I'm just here to collect". She said smiling. I shook my head at her. "I don't have any left after I paid the bills". Her eyes widened then squinted trying to see if I was lying. "What do you mean?" she hissed standing up. "You work don't you?" She grabbed my arms pushing her boney fingers into me. "Where is it?" She yelled at me. I pushed her off me and she stumbled and fell onto the bed.
"Fuck you Samantha, I took you out of school so you can work, now look at what you've done. You'll be lucky if I even come back to your bitch ass!" She stormed out of the apartment screaming down the hall. I have to remember that she doesn't always mean what she says. Or at least that's what I keep telling to myself. She just needs her fix and then she will be the loving mother I've always wanted. I still hated her though. How could she just leave me here like this? Just force me to do everything on my own. To survive on my own.
I got to work only five minutes late, that's not too bad considering it's usually at least ten to fifteen minutes. Darren yelled at me from the back room as I put my jacket on a hanger. He hated when people were late. Every day I work he lectures me on my break, how I waste him time and how he could scrape pieces of shit off the ground and they're of more use than me. If I'm such a shit employee why am I still here? I sighed as I got my waitress apron on and headed out to the front counter. I was pouring coffee when an old man sitting at a table waved me over. I was about to pour him more coffee when he had put his hand over the cup. "You look very young miss. Shouldn't you be in school?" He looked at me as if he could already tell I was only seventeen. "No sir, I graduated early". I replied giving him a fake smile as I walked away. I hated when people tried to get into my business. There just strangers trying to find something to complain about to take their mind off their own miserable lives.
I turned around to see Cassy coming in from the front door with a smile on her face. "Hey cutie!" she exclaimed excitedly. I smiled and put the coffee down on the counter. "Guess who I just passed on the way here" she said putting on her apron. I smiled "who did u see this time?" Her eyes widened happy to tell me the story about her walk to the diner. "Ok so you know that guy that was here last week?" I nodded pretending lie I knew who she was talking about. "Ok so I passed him while he was looking at the magazine rack and so I said hey and he said hey and then we started talking". Cassy's voice faded into the background as I let her babble on about some guy just like every other day that I see her. If you had just met her you would be stunned on how fast she can talk, most of the time it's too fast even for me to understand.
Her chirpy little voice continued on as I nodded and smiled. She followed behind me still chattering while I passed out orders. "Are you even listening to me Samantha Carlton?" I looked back at Cassy, hands on her hips and toe tapping. "Yes I am. I'm being a listener, which is what you should be doing right now too". I gave her a little smirk when she frowned at the thought of having to do manual labor. "Get back to work you lazy bums! I don't pay you for standing around!" Darren called towards us. I rolled my eyes as I grabbed another tray. Cassy still trailing behind me as if she were a little girl mimicking her older sister. Customer by customer they came, ordered, ate and then left the table a disaster. I looked over to see Cassy flirting with one of the customers, I shook my head. You know if the girl was going to flirt at least do it with someone who's attractive. Then the chime rang as another customer waked through the door. I looked at him and instantly knew something was wrong. I know that face, I know that poisonous smile. I know that stumble. He was a customer I was almost begging not to see.
He stumbled through the door. A sick smile on his face as he saw me. Why was he even here? He laughed as he fell into other customers and bounced back up onto his feet. "Hello baby" He said throwing his arm over my shoulder. "What are you doing here?" I asked leading him to the staff room behind the kitchen. "What? I can't see my baby?" he asked stepping back. He lost his balance and fell against the wall. "Oops" He laughed as he pulled a chair from the table and sat down on it. "Am I not allowed to come here? Is it against the law for a man to come and visit his woman at work? No it is not" He stood up and started walking towards me. I could tell he was getting angry. His eyebrows pushed together as I backed away. He seemed shocked that I wasn't running towards him, to comfort him and to kiss him. "Get over here" he shouted as he reached out for me. I backed into a wall and got tense when he came closer. He grabbed me head in his hand. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" I looked up at his eyes. "When I tell you to come here I expect you to come. You're my little dog, do you understand?" He squeezed my jaw as he pulled me closer. I tried not to make a sound but a faint whimper escaped my lips. He took a step back releasing my jaw. "Is the little bitch hurt?" he asked. I looked for the doorway, but he was blocking it. "Maybe if you whimper like a dog you should act like one" He looked at me and grabbed my arms. I tried to pull back but I wasn't even close to having the strength he has. He yanked my arms down till my knees bent and my hands touched the floor. He pushed my back down making me kneel on all fours. "There, since u look like a dog you should act like one too!" He smiled and laughed at me. "Get away from me Jordan!" I tried to stand back up but he put his boot on top of my back and stepped down. I heard my spine crack and I started to fall. My face hit the floor as my arms went numb. I rolled onto my back and saw him standing over me smiling. Customers watched with their jaws open yet sat motionless. A surge of pain blew through my body. I closed my eyes and waited for the beating to be over.
Cassy walked through the door and saw me lying on the floor. Jordan backed away and watched Cassy move to my side. "Dear god!" she said. She put her cool hand on my arm trying to help me up. I groaned in more pain when I moved. She laid me back onto the floor and stood up facing Jordan. "How dare you! Look at what you've done to her! Can't you see that she's in pain? What the fuck did you do?" She screamed at him. I heard a metal spatula hit the ground and footsteps quickly coming down to the staff room. I looked up and saw Cassy trying to stand tall. Then I noticed Jordan's fist rising in the air. He was going to hit her. I knew he would hurt her really bad. She wasn't used to it like I was. I remember one time he had cracked the bone just above my eye. When I had gone to the doctors they had questioned how I got it. I told them I had fallen down the cement stairs at the apartment. It was too close to getting caught for Jordan's' liking. I wasn't allowed to ever see a doctor again, not even if it was just for a regular cold. His right hand started towards Cassy's face. She cringed back waiting for the impact. I closed my eyes, I didn't want to see my boyfriend hurt her. I heard a smack as his fist connected with her skin. "What the fuck?" Came from Jordan's mouth as he saw his fist in Darren's hand. I sat up and pushed myself to the wall. Cassy cringed against the wall her eyes locked on Darren. "I think you better get out of here before I call the cops" He said with a stern look on his face. Jordan pulled his fist away and looked at Darren. "Go ahead protect your little skanks, that's all they'll ever be anyways. Not even fucking worth my time putting them back in their place." He walked out smashing dishes on the ground. "I think you better go home and don't ever bring him here again." Darren said looking at me. "I'll give her a ride!" Cassy chimed in. Darren rolled his eyes then went back into the kitchen. Cassy helped me up and we walked to her car keeping our eyes open for Jordan.
I looked out at the window as Cassy hummed to the radio. "You know you can drop me off her I'll be fine". I said rubbing my temple. She looked at me worried. "No I think I should drop you off right at your house, it's not too much farther now". She was right, my place was only two blocks away, but in the Bronx that was almost a three minute walk if you count all of the other people pushing and shoving their way past you. The traffic wasn't much better though. I sighed and looked at her. How could she be so cheery? Her face was almost hit by my six foot tall boyfriend. The first time he hit me I think I cried for days. He never used to be this kind of person. I had met him two years ago at a fare. I remember walking by him and his friends and them whistling after me. He was the only nice one out of them. That night we had been almost inseparable. We had gone on rides and walked through the park. The night was absolutely wonderful. I remember him telling me how he was in foster care for most of his life and how he lives alone. I had told him about my mother and how I didn't know my father either. He had dazzled me about how he was going to be in law enforcement and had dreams of becoming a well-known police officer. We had laughed about how the stereotypical donut eating, coffee drinking police officer was his future. There was an age difference though. Cassy didn't like when I told her I had met a man that was nine year age difference. She shouldn't talk though, she's probably hooked up with more men in one year than I have in my whole life. Then I remembered the day that I noticed something wrong with Jordan. We had only been dating almost three months when he started getting suspicious. He thought that I had been cheating on him, this made him angry and then day by day, he trusted me less and started to believe that I was a possession and not a prize.
"Here we are" Cassy said with a smile on her face. "Are you going to be alright?" She asked leaning towards my seat. I unlocked the door and smiled. "Don't worry about me Hun, I'll be fine". I smiled once more and shut the car door. I waved as she pulled away and turned down the street. I unlocked the door and walked up the four flights of stairs to my apartment, looking behind me to see if someone was following me. I walked inside and threw my purse down onto the couch. Mom was gone again, and my drawers had been gone through. Typical mom. I sighed and carefully lowered myself down onto the couch. I turned on the TV to the music channel and sat with my eyes closed trying to relax. I heard a light whoosh as the room went black. Is it a power outage? I looked out the window and saw the rest of my neighbors light on. I must not have sent enough money to cover the electricity bill. I fumbled my way to the kitchen and pulled out a few candles from a drawer. I moved to the light switch where mom keeps her extra lighters. I placed the candles around the living room being careful not to put them too close the severely flammable walls. How long was the power going to be out? I muttered to myself. I don't get paid for another two weeks.
I was about to fall asleep when a knock came from the door. I got up and opened the door. I had opened it too wide and it was too late to close it. Jordan burst through my door. He was a tad more sober than a couple hours ago, but not by much. He slammed the door shut behind him and grabbed me by the waist, pushing me backwards. He leaned me up against the wall and looked at the living room. "Are these candles for us?" He asked smiling at me. I searched his eyes but all I saw was a drunken lust for sex.
He forced his lips against mine, trying to part my mouth. I pulled back and turned my head away. He brought his lips to my neck pulling my waist to his. I put my hands on hips, trying to pry his fingers off of me. I didn't want him to touch me like this. He tightened his grip and pulled me to his body. His lips pressed into mine, hands moving down my hips. "You know what I need and you have what I want" he whispered into my ear. I closed my eyes and surrendered. He wasn't going to stop no matter what, so why even try to defend myself. He's stronger, drunk and violent. If I said no I would be more hurt than if I say yes. He pulled me into my bedroom and laid me on the bed. He undressed me as I lay still on the lumpy bed. I really wished my dad was here right now. He would put a stop to this, he would save his little girl. Jordan moved his lips up and down my body. Kissing my skin, dragging his rough fingers over my delicate body. When I heard his belt unclip I closed my eyes hard trying to take my mind off of Jordan and onto something else. I pictured when I was little and mom would take me to the beach. I pictured how we would have picnics and make sand castles. I tried to remember my father. It had been so long since I have seen him. I was only one when he left. Maybe that's why mom started doing drugs. If mom came home would she stop Jordan? Or would she just carry on with her business and think that this is what I wanted? A sudden twinge of pain interrupted my thoughts. He was going too hard. My face cringed and he saw it. "You like it don't you?" he asked. He thrust harder and in a few more seconds I felt him quiver inside me. He pulled away and got his clothes back on. I tried to reach for mine but he had taken them and thrown my clothes across the room. I looked up at him still sitting on the bed he started to walk out the room. "Where are you going?" I asked as he walked through the doorway. He turned to face me. "I didn't know I had to report to whores what I'm doing after I fuck them". I stood there stunned. "I am not a whore!" I yelled after him. He stopped in his tracks and turned around. He stomped up to me and raised his fist. I stood still waiting for impact. I felt the pressure on my right eye and I fell to the floor hitting my head on the corner of the steel bed frame.
I awoke a few hours later to darkness. The candles had burnt themselves out. I woke up in a pool of blood. I touched my temple where I and the bed frame had connected. A deep cut with blood had formed. I went to the bathroom and put a wet towel on it. My head stung when I put pressure on it, but I was a big girl it was only a cut right? It only took another ten minutes to clean myself up a bit. I had taken a new towel and wiped the blood from the floor. I sat down on the couch and fell back to sleep. I woke to my cell phone ringing. I felt my pockets but realized I hadn't put my pants back on. I looked around the dark room. It wasn't on the couch, wasn't on the counter, but I could still here it ringing. I went into my bedroom and sure enough it was thrown across the room and had settled on a corner of the far wall. I picked it up and was able to croak out a hello. My throat burned from being dry. Cassy was on the other end. She screeched into the phone telling me that I was late for work. I hadn't even thought about what time I worked. I pulled on a clean pair of work pants and a white shirt and rushed off to work. Once I got there Cassy immediately rushed to my side. "Oh my god! Are you okay?" I looked at her puzzled. "Um, yea. What are you talking about Cassy I'm fine". She shook her head and pulled me by the wrist to the bathroom. I looked at my reflection and saw the massive bruise that had already formed. "Darren's never going to let you work when you look like you've been hit by a tank". Cassy pursed her lips straightening out my hair." I'm fine" I mumbled to her as I walked out of the bathroom. I pulled on my apron and started my shift hoping Darren wouldn't notice me. I really needed the money.
It wasn't long before Darren noticed my bruise and temple. We had made an arrangement that I could work in the back till it healed and he would be up front with the customers. I was happy with that, I hated having to work with snobby customers who thought they are better than me in every way, shape and form. To be honest they were probably true. I was here serving them while they had families who cared and big executive jobs and money to spare on things they wanted. I had only worked for five hours when I heard Darren yelling at a man. I knew in the back of my mind who it was. I had really hoped that today he would leave me alone. Just give me one day away from him, but he couldn't even give me that. I looked out the doorway and saw Jordan yelling at Darren. I rushed over thinking that if I could get Jordan he would calm down and act civil. I was wrong. As soon as I got out from the back room Jordan ran up to me. He grabbed me by my arms and shook me. "You little bitch! Did I say you could leave? Did I? You are mine! Not anyone else's!" He screamed in my face.
A customer stood up and walked over. He was a tall handsome man who looked as if he could have an even fight with Jordan. He walked up to us, placing his hand on Jordan's arm. "Leave her alone". He said in a stern voice. Jordan let me go and I ran over beside Darren watching Jordan and the stranger. Jordan looked at him and laughed. "And you think you can take me?" He asked the man. "You think you can tell me how to treat my woman?" Jordan stepped towards the man. The stranger stood his ground. He didn't flinch, didn't move, he just stood tall. "I said leave her alone" The stranger repeated sternly. Jordan's face got red and he pulled back and hit the man in the nose. He stumbled back holding his nose. Blood spurted out from it. The man's hand balled into fists and he came back towards Jordan. I gasped as I heard a sickening crack and the man swung a single punch and had knocked Jordan to the ground. Who was this stranger? I didn't know him and yet he stood there defending me. This man standing here over Jordan's body in a professional looking suit and a bloody nose and knocked Jordan to the ground in a single hit. Jordan got to his feet, grumbling as he felt the pain rush to his head. He grabbed a bar stool and swung it at the man. The man backed away fast enough to dodge the stool, but wasn't fast enough to dodge the second swing. The metal stool hit him in the ribs and the man crumbled to his feet. Police and ambulance sirens quickly blared and stopped in front of the diner.
Just as the police arrived Jordan had ran out the back door darting through onlookers. Darren stayed by the customer's side telling him how he was sorry. I stood there and watched the paramedics load the man into the ambulance. Other customers crowded by the door to watch the police and ambulance drive away. Darren had asked all of the customers to leave the restaurant and had giving them all refunds for the commotion. There was only me, Cassy and Darren left in the diner. Cassy immediately went to the opposite side of the restaurant and started cleaning the tables. She made sure she wasn't too far away though she had to hear what was happening between me and Darren. I stood there waiting to be yelled at. This was my entire fault. Jordan was my boyfriend and I knew how he would act if he came to the apartment and I wasn't there. Maybe this was my fault. I had let an innocent man get hurt because of Jordan. I never thought he would take it this far. Darren looked around the restaurant at all the empty seats and wasted food. He shook his head. This was a lot of money he would loose and I'm almost positive it will come out of my pay.
Darren came towards me with an angry look on his face. "Look at what you have done!" He yelled pointing to the tables and blood on the floor. "This is all your fault! I'm ruined now, all this money I could have made today and not its gone and even worse the police will be asking how this happened and I'll have to close then too!" I looked down at my feet. He was right. "I thought I had made it clear that I never wanted that violent man back in my restaurant. I have a business to run here. This isn't a boxing stadium!" He was mad probably more mad than I've ever seen him before. I looked over to Cassy. She was rushing to clean the tables and try to help Darren get into a better mood. She looked back at me and pursed her lips. We both knew what was going to happen. I was going to be fired. I felt like crying. It wasn't me who hit the customer. It wasn't me who called the police. It wasn't me who was yelling and screaming.
Darren sighed. "I'm sorry, but if your boyfriend is going to keep this up, I can't keep you here. It's too dangerous to keep you. I might even get sued for this and trust me girly this is not coming out of my pocket." I looked at him with pleading eyes. "I can't afford to pay for my own bills, how am I supposed to pay for this?" I said looking around. Darren shook his head. "I don't know, but the best I can do is let you go. I can't keep you here if it means my customers are in danger". I shook my head. "Fine then"! I yelled back at him. "This is not my fault! But if you're going to screw me over like this then fine I'll leave!" I pulled off my apron and threw it at him. How could he? He knew I needed this money. It was only one customer and it was his fault that he got involved into my business. Why should I pay for someone else's mistakes? Jordan was angry that's all. I'm sure he didn't mean to send the man to the hospital. I stormed out of the diner cursing about how Darren was a total prick and he didn't understand what I have to go through to even survive in this harsh world. I ran all the way home, I wanted to feel the wind in my hair, and I wanted to feel free. I pushed and shoved past people in the streets as they hurried to do their daily obligations. Do people even realize how much their lives really suck? When I got home I slammed the door and screamed my lungs out. I swore and kicked the walls. I was so angry. What was I going to do now? Get another job when half of the population who I might add are way more qualified than me are looking for jobs too. Was I supposed to become a prostitute just to support myself? Or became a drug addict like mom. Jordan had seriously fucked up my life forever. Just by coming into the diner. Now my whole life just went to the shit.
I leaned against the wall and slid down. Sitting on the cold floor I rested my head in my hands. I could definitely feel that bruise right now and the pain from the cut isn't doing any better. Tears fell from my eyes. What was I going to do for money now? If mom found out that I've been fired she'd probably kick my ass herself. Or sell me for drug money. Yea, probably the second option. I whimpered about my shattered life. Why does this always happen to me? Why couldn't I have be born into a wealthy and happy family? I hate myself. I hate my life. I have no future. Why even continue to live if this is all it's ever going to be? All I'm ever going to be. I'm not supposed to be this kind of person. A girl who gets beat up by her boyfriend, one who is raped and tormented. I'm supposed to have a better life than this.
I stood and looked at myself in the mirror. How could I let Jordan do that to the poor customer? I bet the customer blames me for everything. I looked at my face. The bruises that were starting to heal. I have to make this right. I grabbed my jacket and keys and walked out the door. Standing at the corner of the street I looked all around me trying to see if there were any signs leading to the hospital. Nothing. I walked four blocks north then two blocks east. Still nothing. I decided that my plan wasn't working so I started walking and following the main crowd of people. It wasn't long after when I saw a side entry to the hospital. But how was I supposed to get in? I'm sure they wouldn't just let any person walk in and go search for a person. I stood in front of the doors wondering what I was going to say. The stranger must have a girlfriend. But what if I say I'm her and he is married? Or what if they don't think a street kid like me could be with a man so stunning and professional? Well, whatever I'm going to say it's going to be more suspicious if they see me standing out front here staring inside. I took a deep breath and walked through the doors.
The doors led me down a short hall to a large reception desk. The desk was cluttered with stacks of paper and files. Three chubby old women sat there typing on computers and chewing their bubble gum loudly. I went up to the desk and stood there expecting that one of the ladies would smile and ask how may they help me. I stood there probably for about a good two minutes and yet no one asked to help me. "Excuse me mam" I asked standing in front of a woman. She looked at me with a slight scowl on her face. I could tell easily hated having to do her job and she hated bratty teenagers bothering her. "What do you want?" She said. Her voice was surprisingly deep and scratchy for being a woman. A thought popped into my head. Who was I trying to find? I didn't even know his name. What the hell was I thinking? That I'd just show up and they would direct me to a man that I didn't know.
"Well? Are you going to tell me what you want?" The lady asked in a louder and ruder tone. "Um". Shit what was I going to say? I looked around the room and saw old people sitting and waiting, children playing with toys on a table and parents mindlessly talking to each other. "Um, I'm here to see my grandmother". She looked at me and let out a big breath. "Do you at least know what room she's in?" I nodded and looked towards the door to the rest of the hospital. She looked down at her computer screen and resumed typing. I guessed that's how she says that I can go in. I slowly walked to the door looking back to see if she was going to yell at me. I pushed past the door and walked to a waiting lobby. Would he still even be here? I kept walking down halls when I came to the doctors' offices. I looked at the doors that displayed the doctor's names and fields. I walked down the halls reading them. I found one that had over ten files in the holder. A nurse walked by and looked at me curiously. I started to walk back to the lobby to lower her suspicions. Once she was gone, I ran back to the files and looked each one over. A few were for broken bones and regular checkups. The files listed who had also admitted the patients. On the sixth file I looked at there was Darren's name. I skimmed over the file. A broken nose, two broken ribs and a slight concussion. How in the world could Jordan do all that damage with one hit and one stool? All this poor man was doing was trying to help me out and he got his ass kicked for that. It made me sick thinking of how the world works. I kept looking at the file. Mark Halling was the strangers name and he was in room 323 west wing.
I searched for his room. The hospital was like a maze, you had to go through one hall to get to one hall and take an elevator just to get to a hall that led you to another that had rooms in it. It took me fifteen minutes to find his room and when I got there all I wanted to do was leave. I couldn't get the thought that this was my fault out of my head. I took a deep breath and walked in. He was lying in his bed watching TV when I came in. He looked at me and smile. "My first visitor". His shirt was undone showing his chest. His ribs were tightly wrapped in bandages and his nose had a large white strip covering it. He spoke in a deep voice. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what Jordan did to you" I said looking down at my feet. I really shouldn't have come. He probably didn't want to see me anyways. "You know that ape of a man?" I looked at him and nodded. "Jordan has anger problems. He doesn't really like anyone telling him what to do". I pursed my lips as Mark watched listening to me. It surprised me that he was listening to me. He looked at me and frowned. "Yea I can tell." He looked at my arms and saw the bruises. I pulled my sleeves down and turned towards the door. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have come". I started walking out the door when he called after me. "Why are you with a man who does that to you?" I looked at him and shrugged. "He never used to be this way". I stammered. "Yes, and I never use to be six feet tall but people change. I mean why are you with him now?" I looked at him. I really didn't know the answer. No one asks me questions they just leave me alone. "I guess it's because I love him". I looked at him in his swollen face. He could tell it wasn't true. "If that's what his love looks like your much better off with ought him" he said shaking his head.
Who was this guy? It wasn't any of his business who I'm with or what he does to me. "Who are you? What does this have anything to do with you?" My voice raised but he didn't even flinch. What was he trying to prove that he was a bionic man or something? "I was just saying that you should be with a man who treats you right". I can believe he was saying this. If he knew Jordan he would understand why were still together. I really do love him, I mean I've been with him for a long time. "You don't know anything about me! You have no idea!" I stormed out of the room. Tears started streaming from my eyes. He didn't know what it was like. I would leave if I could, but Jordan wouldn't let me. He'd make sure everyone I know is dead before he lets me go. There was no way and people trying to help and get me out would just be in more danger than I ever was.
I ran out of the hospital crying my eyes out. People stared and watched as I ran down the street. By the time I reached the apartment my tears had run dry and my breath was short from running. I jogged up the stairs to my apartment and slammed the door behind me. No one could save me, no one could rescue me and no one could help me. Leaning up against the wall I let out one loud sob. I slid down the wall and sat holding my body in my arms. I had cried so badly that my ribs hurt and my eyes burned. Tears came back into my eyes and my body started to shake. This is my fault. If I wasn't so stupid I would have left him a long time ago and now I don't even have the option. Did Jordan ever truly love me? Was Mark right? Had Jordan manipulated me this whole time? Questions burned through my head like wildfire. I lay down on the floor and cried myself to sleep. I wanted the blanket of darkness to surround me and hold me in its grasp. To feel the cool night against my skin and the silence that comes with it to sooth my burning head.
The slam of the door startled me awake. I looked up at Jordan standing over me. My eyes still burned from crying the night before. I felt his boot slam into my stomach. "Get up and tell me where the hell you've been". I sat up and tried to explain, but what was I supposed to say? That I had been in the hospital? That I had been visiting a friend? Or that I had visited the stranger at the diner who tried to stick up for me? All of them would make Jordan mad and then I would be the one in trouble. He already seemed like he was in an angry mood. "Well are you going to fucking answer me or what?" He screamed puling me up by my wrists. I tried to stand but my legs were like rubber. I fell back to the floor but Jordan thought I was resisting and trying to pull away. He tightened his grasp on my wrists till my hands turned red and pulled me too my feet. "Let go of me" I yelled at him. He pulled me loser to him so that our faces were only inches away. "Don't you ever talk back to me again? Do you hear me?" I could smell the beer and Tabaco on his breath. I pulled away from him but I was blocked by him and the wall. "Jordan I want you to leave me alone". I said sternly looking him in the eyes. I saw a twinge of pain followed by a fire of rage.
He grabbed my neck and shoved me into the wall. His hand pushed the air from my throat. My lungs burned. I needed to breathe, I needed air. I clawed at his hands trying to pull them off me. My face got hot and my skin burned. I could feel my mouth drying and my lungs pulsing for air. His face got red as if he was chocking himself. "Don't you ever fucking think that you can try that shit with me. I keep you safe and I protect you from sleazy men and this is what you try to do? You will never leave! I won't let you!" His fingers pushed into my throat. Dark red spots blurred my vision. I tried to choke out words out but they got caught in the fire of my throat. My eyes rolled back into my head and my body went limp. I felt his hands release me and I fell to the floor. Blackness surrounded me, but I felt hot. Like my body was on fire.
A sharp stabbing pain came from my stomach. I took a gasp of air and filled my lungs. They burned as the oxygen filled and expanded. I opened my eyes to Jordan pacing in front of me. I sat up and leaned my body against the wall. I took a few deep breaths and regained my balance. I stood up, my legs shaking. "What the hell was that for?" I said holding my head. He started walking towards me and slapped me. "I fucking own you! Don't you ever think that you can just fucking walk out on me". He wasn't going to blame this on me. "You almost killed me!" I screamed at him. "You ape of a man. Get out of here! Don't you ever fucking think you own me because you don't! All you have ever done is ruin my life! I hate you!" He stepped back surprised at my outburst. He reached out and grabbed my hair and pulled me to the ground. His foot kicked into my stomach and I fell to the ground rolling a few feet away. I clutched my stomach and groaned. He picked me up by my arms and set me back on my feet. His fist slammed into my jaw. An instant shock went through my body. He pulled me back and punched my face again. I felt blood dribble down my mouth. He grabbed me by the hair and lifted me off the ground. I screamed as I felt my hair tearing from my head. He pushed my face into a wall and dragged me to the bathroom. He slammed my head against the tub and I saw spots. I fell to the floor in a pool of my own blood. I loud hissing screamed in my ears. Noises faded away into the background. "You made me do this". Said Jordan as he walked out the room closing the door behind him.
Once again the blackness surrounded me. I was dying. This was going to be my last day on this earth. The pain in my body heightened. I took one last breath as I surrendered to the pain and the darkness.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone