Chapter 4: "When she painted the Deer"

[November 19th, 2021]

The strokes were as proper as ever, Aurora was never good at painting but she gave it her all. It was their last art class of high-school. And their art teacher, Ms. Maggie, was more than excited.

"Today, I want everything to be meaningful, in this classroom." Being an ex-philosophy teacher, Ms. Maggie spoke as sophisticated as ever.

The class hated that. They just wanted to get over with it.

"We're drawing a deer today." Ms. Maggie continued despite knowing how the class hated her presence. "Not just any deer, a mean-" The class cut her off to say in harmony, "Meaningful deer!" They all said in a neutral expression trying to show Ms. Maggie that they're not interested.

She took out her own canvas and stretched it across to show the class. It was a deer, surrounded by a dead-end, but the expression showed it happier than ever.

"I want to teach you all the spiritual meaning of a deer, as today is our last day in this classroom." Ms. Maggie said, with a sincere voice. "A deer represents inner peace, tranquility, gentleness, intuition, graceful action, and self-awareness. They can also represent your deeper connections with your close family and friends, bringing unconditional love, belonging, and community to the forefront. Now why am I bringing this up when we could simply paint a deer?" Ms. Maggie waited for response from the class.

Aurora raised her hand. She never took interest in Ms. Maggie's classes but she felt like today, she should.

"Because it is our last day. You want us to gain inner peace, tranquility like a deer, and deepen our connections? You also want us to not just focus on studying for the upcoming exams but also the inner state of our mind...?" Aurora said hesitantly, she didn't wanted to give off any hints.

"Right. I want you all to be free, and become a beautiful and healthy community. I want you guys to paint a deer in your perspective of this world. I painted the deer around a dead-end showing that there is no hope in life for the deer, yet, it is clinging to life. Survival is important. Mother-nature hints us every now and then, we just don't see enough." Ms. Maggie always thought the best for her students, except 'kids these days' just wanted to play some games, hang-out etc.

"I have a question, Ms. Maggie. It is unrelated but we can't have another class..." Aurora said hesitantly.

"You? A question?" She was surprised, and happy. "Go ahead, ask away."

"Just like you told us the spiritual meaning of deer. Is there any spiritual meaning of butterflies?" Aurora asked, considering how she never saw a butterfly in the cold weather until the other day.

"What kind of butterfly?" Ms. Maggie politely asked for further elaboration.

"Monarch Butterfly... I saw it on first snow. It was weird to spot a butterfly flying in such a weather, So, I was wondering if it had a meaning." Aurora calmly explained.

"If you saw it on the day of first snow, then that indicates the poor butterfly couldn't migrate. Monarchs migrate when it gets cold as decrease in temperature won't allow their muscles to contract and relax which would lead to wing failure. However, if you saw it alive and well, that indicates it had little time left.

The flight you saw must've been it's last flight. These butterflies have a strong spiritual sense so I'm glad you asked. Seeing a butterfly on it's last days represents it's association towards death. They're always going through stages of life and death so they're strongly associated with the dead. They know that death is not to be feared of, that is why you saw it fly vigorously.

In my opinion, it means that there is a start of a new leg of your journey, meaning, you're going towards growth." Ms. Maggie explained simply.

"Does that growth means death?" Aurora asked, lost in thoughts.

Ms. Maggie stared at her, sort of alarmed.

"Not necessarily. Even if it does, just know that a Monarch butterfly is the strongest when it is about to die. Death is a part of life. That is why today, I suggested we draw deer, that are strongly associated with love and life." Ms. Maggie said.

Aurora sat down, with multiple thoughts in her head now that she learnt about her unusual sight of a butterfly. Ms. Maggie asked everyone to start painting their views on the conversation they just had. Aurora deeply sighed before grabbing her paint brush and adding strokes to the canvas.

She could only think about one thing, '6 weeks of life'. She painted a deer, in a remote rainforest surrounded by monarch butterflies. When Ms. Maggie asked about her concept, she tried not to give hints. However, she gave a detailed explanation.

She explained how the deer was alone in it's thoughts, finding meaning in it's life while the monarchs were accompanying it as beings of light, to promote a beneficial community, a beneficial ecosystem. Monarchs were always going through phases of life and death while the deer was always elaborating unconditional love and inner peace.

Together, they were in such a harmony that even death wouldn't scare them.

Aurora had a lot of thoughts in her head, however, she decided to bury all of them and live in the moment. She had been spending a lot of time thinking about the future. 'What would happen when I die?', 'What if they found out?'.

Now, that was not a problem. She was ready to live for the moment. She was ready to be the strongest before the moment she dies. She had to remind herself over and over that cancer wasn't enough to beat her. She was finally ready, to win over and live fully.

After their classes were over, Aurora who wanted to live in the moment wanted to go home early and study for the exam occurring the next day. However, Lucy wanted group studies. She suggested everyone to visit the library next to their school together. So, they went there together and bought some snacks and coffee to accompany them during this hard and burdensome time. They all sat together and started studying for their last exams, mostly though Giselle's notes.

"Why were you so sentimental during art class? That's so unlike you..." Sean finally brought it up to Aurora.

"Me? Sentimental?" Aurora laughed hysterically, "I was just trying to accompany Ms. Maggie so she doesn't feel lonely talking about philosophies all alone." She explained herself.

"It was all an act? Damn, you should be an actress, what're you doing in high-school?" Lucy suggested.

"Not a bad idea." Aurora chuckled.

They all studied, or tried to study as much as they could before they all went back to their houses for the night. Aurora had a family dinner before going to bed.

"Aurora, do you feel like travelling?" Her father suggested out of the blue.

"I have exams, Dad." Aurora said while chewing.

"Ditch exams!" Her father acted suspicious.

Aurora raised an eyebrow, then looked at her mother. Her mother shook her head.

"He has been saying we don't give you enough time..." Her mother said.

"Really, Dad?" Aurora asked if that was how he thought.

Her father sighed, and then he nodded accepting his defeat.

"Dad, just sitting here on the dinner table with me is more than enough." Aurora chuckled.

She was still suspicious, thinking Dr. Matthias told her father about her disease. Her father knew, but he didn't want to let his wife or daughter know. Because he thought that Aurora had kept this a secret for a reason. He wanted to keep it to himself until his daughter felt comfortable saying it herself.

[November 19th, 2020]

Aurora woke up late after staying up all night with her friends and coming back home at 9am only to go back to bed. Her mother wasn't pleased to see her wake up so late, except, she let her off as it was just the first day of their semester break. When she woke up, her mother was just getting ready to go for grocery shopping. She asked if she could tag along, and her mother agreed.

1. First thing after semester break starts, grocery shopping with mom : Check.

Aurora marked her to-do list, mostly filled with little sparks of happiness that elaborated her bubbly personality. She read the list while seated in the car just to make sure she didn't miss anything.

2. Sleep-over with Giselle :

3. Helping Ethan with a part-time job :

4. Visiting Lucy's Dad's grave on his death anniversary :

5. Talking things out with Sean and his alters :

6. Taking piano classes :

Right, she wanted to learn piano after visiting an orchestral festival with the old man, hefty spender, Sean last year.

"Mom, Can I take piano classes?" Aurora asked politely.

"Piano? Sure... I'd be happier than ever to know you're doing something you like." Her mother was as supportive as ever.

Aurora was delighted. This break was going to be amazing. She knew she could live to the fullest this year and then the next year and then so many more years that she was going to witness. Unlike most teens her age, she never took things seriously. She was one of those few people who lived in the moment and tried to make everyone around them live in the moment as well.

She wanted to make her friends and family happy about their lives. And she was ready to invest her time into it. She believed that happiness came through effort. The more effort she would put into making small things happy around herself, the more people would be influenced.

Her parents understood that about her and supported her in every single part of life. They understood that she wanted to make the cruel world, breathable.

After grocery shopping with her mother, she was assured that she spent enough time with her for today. It was one of her goals, to give her family and friends enough time each passing day so they may never feel lonely or down. She quickly grabbed her phone and shared a photo from the grocery shopping session into her group chat.

"Looking fresh." Lucy responded first, as she looked at the picture.

Aurora smiled and tapped in a bunch of heart emojis. Lucy's father's death anniversary was near. Last year, Lucy couldn't visit his grave because of exams but this time, Aurora wanted to make sure she gets to visit. She wanted to accompany her there. It was still in two weeks, but she wanted to make sure nothing wrong happens.

"Makes me wanna join you guys next time." Giselle typed in, upon looking at the picture.

"Sure!!" Aurora replied quickly.

She was happy to know her little grocery shopping meant a lot to herself and her mother. Even to her friends. They couldn't want more honestly, seeing one of them happy was like a trigger to make all of them happy. That's how pure their friendship was.

Aurora also typed in about taking piano classes soon. She told her friends that she would even attend the music festival their high-school held every summer. She was confident about herself. How hard could piano be? The people in the orchestral festival played it like a joke, as if piano was a language and they were bragging out being fluent in it. She wanted to do the same. It was a little skill she would earn, not to pursue professionally, just for fun.

Her professional pursuits were rather, complicated. She wanted to be a tour guide, who could cook and perform surgeries. Maybe a marine, who could fly a jet and rap to a beat. Or even a military officer, who plays tennis, and could become an international athlete. That's how complicated it was. She just wanted to have fun with her life, in whatever she would pursue. As long as she had her friends and her family by her side, nothing really mattered.