Chapter 23: Chapter 22
What have I done ?!
I hurry to delete all messages, except the one in which Catherine asks to meet him at his house, thinking of a plan to make him really go to her house tomorrow afternoon.
I mark the address on a piece of paper by the bedside table, then stand up in the middle of the night and walk to the kitchen, but as soon as I leave my room, I startled to see Alex lying on the sofa.
I was so distracted that I didn't even hear the door open.
I swallow my saliva, while I think about what to do right now: I would like to approach him and hug him for how much tenderness he gives me right now, with that thoughtful expression, but I would also like to confess to him how much he is making me suffer.
In the end I just pass him, as I reach the refrigerator: I feel his gaze behind me, but I have no intention of facing him, not after what happened a few hours ago.
I take out a bottle of water and start sipping, then stop when I hear him walk behind me and approach the kitchen.
I close my eyes as I feel my hand shake.
I place the glass on the wood, then I find the courage to turn to his side, finding him leaning against the pillar, while he keeps his eyes down.
I take this opportunity to stare at him intensely: I fell in love with him without realizing it, almost six years ago, even though I knew he was a difficult type to understand, I was also aware of the fact that he loved living a free life, that he was an emeritus asshole, proud, but there were things I didn't know about him, like the fact that he had a daughter.
I continued to love him regardless, I accepted to continue living with him, I began to feel something stronger than love towards Alex.
But in all this time I have never stopped worrying: there is a part of him that I cannot control, but above all that I cannot bear.
I feel threatened every time he gets angry, precisely because he seems to turn into a completely different person.
I look at him intently to understand if I really know Alex, and I begin to wonder, after six years of relationship, if I should trust him.
The story with Catherine is really confusing me, not to mention that he physically hurt me without realizing it.
I wait for him to tell me something, perhaps that he is sorry for having exaggerated at dinner, but nothing comes out of his mouth, so I decide to leave him there and go back to my room, more disappointed than before.
***
I get out of bed quickly, noticing the time: I'll be late if I don't hurry, damn it!
I wear the first trousers I find in the closet, and then wear a very large sweatshirt, the one that John gave me, but that he hates most of all.
The idea of having to face my friend after the other night makes me anxious.
He'll harass me, or at least he'll be insulting Alex all morning.
What's more, my mother calls me at the exact moment I enter the bathroom with the intention of taking a quick shower.
«Mom, how are you?» - I give up the shower, rolling my eyes, then I try to make myself presentable by fixing my hair.
"Well, Clara, I had a nightmare and I thought I'd call you to find out if everything is okay." - this explains why she disturbed me at six in the morning.
"Yes, Mom, everything is great." - if I were to decide to confess the crisis between me and Alex to someone, my mother would be the last person I would talk to.
"Thank goodness ..." - she begins, but I interrupt her, hearing Juliet's voice in the living room.
"Mom, I'll call you again, but now I have to go to work! »- I close the call even before she can reply, then I go to the living room, where I find father and daughter arguing animatedly.
«I'm only asking you for a week!» - Juliet screams desperately
"I can't leave my job." - Alex looks tired but relaxed as he opens a can of beer, chased by the girl.
I frown, not understanding what they're talking about.
«You go to work once a week!» - Juliet's eyes end up on my figure.
"There you are, Clara can we talk, please?" - it seems that she is begging me.
I avoid Alex's eyes, which immediately snap to my figure, and then I sit on the sofa, while Juliet imitates me.
«Tell me.» - I urge her to speak to me in a broken tone of voice.
"I talked to my dad and convinced him to buy me tickets to go back to the Bronx for a few days." -I open my eyes wide... Tom never told us anything.
The fact that Juliet has taken the initiative to talk about it alone with Alex relieves me a lot, but at the same time I feel uncomfortable.
«I was wondering if one of you could accompany me.» - I see the hope in her eyes and it is the first time after an year that I have seen this girl so enthusiastic.
"I can't ..." - I begin to explain to her, but she interrupts me.
«I know, but ...» - she approaches my ear, after glancing at Alex, who still continues to look at us.
"Try to convince him." - she whispers.
I feel very selfish, but the first thing that comes to my mind is not to talk to him at all, first of all because it is not time to get close to him, but also because I would not be able to live a week without him, even if lately he has been trying hard my patience.
I just nod, forgetting about work and not asking myself why they woke up so early to talk about it.
She jumps on the sofa happy, and then grabs the backpack:
"I'll wait for you in the car." -she turns and pokes her tongue at Alex, almost making me laugh.
I get up quickly, deciding to talk to him again, but as soon as I open my mouth, his voice interrupts me:
"Why did you use my phone?"
Instagram: ema_8570
Gifts
-- Gift
received Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone