Chapter 2: Chapter Two
LOVE.
Sometimes confused for lust but she was never against it, she just simply didn't understand what the big fuss was all about. She didn't understand what it meant really, just that people around her always used it. She often doubted that the people who used it, knew the meaning of it either, that they just liked how it sounded or how it would make their companion happy when they heard it.
She would never use the term herself; she wouldn't use something she didn't understand or even feel, she would especially never use it with her mother. She knew her mother lost all sense of feeling, especially in regards to that particular emotion. Why lie about something you feel to just make the other person happy, aren't you just adding a bigger lie on top of that and it was inevitable that that lie would crush their hearts in end.
She doesn't want to become her mother though, all of her emotions are lost and what only remains is a shell.
I guess that's the consequences of a shattered mate bond, she thought as she walked past mated couples, once it breaks it's gone, enjoy it while you can. Her eyes landing on the two wolfs sucking each other faces off.
Shaking her head, she turns to her grey locker, inserting the code before her mind drifted to her thoughts. She was never really angry at her mother; well she thinks she isn't angry at her. She was sometimes even proud of her, the stories she hears from Mr Edgar about shattered mate bonds always made her wonder how her mother was caught in between the mess.
She lost her mate in the cruellest way possible and yet she still had not succumbed to the red that was undeniably calling out to her. Although she had lost her sense of emotion and her daughter would often catch her washing the same dish for hours on end as her eyes were blank of an iris but she would always come back.
Alanis knew her mother's heart was fragile and soon she would be fully gone, but she was still here, just only the fact that it was her body.
Rouge.
That's the word they use when your soul has been ripped apart or is shattered. A rouge has no feelings of love, just an iceberg waiting to sink a ship. A shattered mate stuck between the parallel of 'to rouge or not to turn rouge' that is the question.
A question on which fate controls, if your wolf is strong enough to fight against the pain or will your wolf slowly die until all that makes sense is red. Many wolves avoid this by getting executed afraid of what might happen once they taste red. This always reminded Alanis of the afterlife.
Her pack was a strong believer of the Moon Goddess, they always praised how life with the Moon was bliss compared to life on the earth. Their belief was not that different from the human's idol. The humans believed that if they're good they go to heaven and if they're bad they go to hell whereas if the Moon's children are bad, they suffer eternity on earth alone without a wolf never to rise and be with the Moon.
And it's believed that rouges don't enter that life, that they're stuck to wander the earth. It's a pity really, having a mate then losing them the next second and all your left with is this aching numb pain that makes you want to jump off a cliff.
And yet love fills them with an imaginary figure, their mate, their soul, the person they already adore and praise, a person promised to them in the name of love.
'Sad, isn't it?' her subconscious questions and she hums in agreement.
And she gets a front-row seat to it every day, the consequences of her father's death. She knows the only reason for her mother not falling too deep in the red was because of the promise she made to him to stay and always be strong for their daughter, and she often wonders if he hadn't made her promise would she have stayed and it makes her heart clench knowing the truth of that question.
Slamming the door shut, she turns to the commotion coming from down the hall, already knowing one of the fighters and she didn't want to dwell in it and proceeded to turn in the opposite direction but her curiosity got the better of her.
Her shoes skid across the floor as she approaches the crowd. She pushes her way through the crowd before hesitating when she sees the future beta going at it with her best friend.
"You're supposed to guide him not encourage him," the boy seethed as he threw a punch at the beta only for him to dodge throwing an uppercut at the boy making him land on the floor.
"Don't ever touch me again!" the beta gritted as his chest vibrated with a threatening growl.
Alanis stares at the unconscious boy on the floor and kneeling beside him, before meeting the Beta's eyes, "may you help me take him to the nurse?" she asks whilst brushing away the boy's brown locks that seemed to stick to his forehead.
"And why would I do that?" he retorted.
"I thought the Beta was supposed to help their fellow pack members," she tilts her head to stare at him and his ocean eyes, "and as a member, he needs help".
He narrows his eyes at her before his chest expands as he exhales and she could see the gears shifting in his head as he runs his hand through his hair.
"Fine," he grunts.
She stands up muttering a small thank you before giving him space to pick up the boy's figure. The crowd that she had forgotten was there separated as she followed behind with her best friends' bag over her other shoulder.
"I don't see you outside of school anymore", he breaks the silence, "not since your father passed".
"And I don't see how that's any of your concern," she mutters from behind him.
"well I am still your friend, right?", his voice echoes, "and last I check friends concern over each other," nodding her head to herself before cursing herself knowing he had a smirk on his lips.
"Let's not pretend we have a past, because friends have pasts and we're not friends," she mutters as he turns right and disappears into the room only to come out empty-handed "friends don't disappear, Claw's don't abandon their friends in the time of need," she adds.
"well it's a good thing I'm not a Claw," he stares at her before giving her a curt nod and trailing down the hall.
Hearing a grunt and a rough cough, she quickly enters the room to see Nicco's face clenched tightly as he pressed his arm against his lower abdomen.
"What were you thinking?", she scolds him, sitting next to him waiting for the nurse.
"I was thinking of my mate," his puffy almond eyes finding her, releasing a puff of air before resting his head on her shoulder, "always thinking of my mate".
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