Chapter 2: Chapter 2- The Big Dipper
Sometimes mass demonstrations were held at the top of the field and all the sheep attended. This was the BSM or Black Sheep Matter movement and they all waved placards and could be heard bleating in unison 'Black Sheep Matter! Black Sheep Matter!'
Harold and Aran couldn't help but wonder why their group were allowed to demonstrate at the top of the field but the 'The Freedom Sheep' were not. The Robodogs and all the white sheep started to take the knee. They would kneel in front of the only black sheep in the flock and bleat out their mantra 'Black Sheep Matter.'
During these so called protests hate and abuse would be hurled at Harold and Aran with the whole flock chanting at them 'Take the Knee! Take the Knee!'
Harold had shouted out 'All Lives Matter Boyo!' which had nearly cost them their lives as the sheep pelted them with rocks. From then on Harold and Aran stayed at the bottom of the field to avoid abuse and possible injury.
Aran heard on the grapevine that all the sheep were all going to be dyed blue with a new experimental anti-viral sheep dip. Horns and balls were going to be amputated 'for reasons of health and safety' and this would apply to all the flock without exception. This greatly concerned The Freedom Sheep and they demonstrated every day and tried to engage in rational debate with the rest of the sheep but sadly to no avail. They were immediately branded as right-wing conspiracy theorists for questioning the mainstream narrative.
The flock had all begun to baa in the same way and would just stare blankly when Aran or Harold started to speak their truth. Harold fell into a depression and felt helpless as Aran who they all now called 'Karen' was ridiculed and shunned from the flock. They now were no longer part of the flock and it was only a matter of time when they would have to leave.
They decided they were not going to take the experimental sheep dip and as both Harold and Aran felt particularly attached to their horns and balls they decided to refuse that modification too.
So what the hell were they going to do?
A sheep dipping immersion system had been set up in the adjacent field where the sheep would be plunged into the experimental solution. The rainbow sheep were all going to be first in line to get dyed blue and were encouraging everyone to sign up for the dip.
A lot of signs went up around the field and there was a great deal of virtue signaling going on social media. Many pro-dip memes started to trend, most of them extremely lame. 'Blue is the Colour', 'We are all Blue', 'No Gender is a Good Gender', 'No More Balls' and 'Wear your Pants.'
Some were a bit worried at first but when they saw that everyone was getting dipped they joined the flock and did what everyone else was doing.
Aran stood proudly atop high rock, his noble wooly form silhouetted dramatically against the burning sky and from the depths of his mighty ram's body came the chant: 'We Shall Not We Shall Not Be Blue! We Shall Not We Shall Not Be Blue!'
Inspired by this show of bravado Harold joined in. All the sheep looked up briefly with their dim eyes and then carried on watching BaaBaa sheep videos.
'It's lambs to the slaughter! They're taking our lambs!' shouted Harold.
Harold and Aran had both noticed that Lambs were disappearing on a weekly basis. Sometimes the mother was told her lamb was sick or was going for re-education at a gender transformation camp. These Lambs never seemed to come back. Eeny, Meany, Miney and Mo had disappeared recently. Such beautiful, happy, snowy white lambs that had capered and frolicked happily around the field. No sign of them.
It was Sean who threw the first rock and hit Aran right on the nose.
'Shut up Karen,' he shrieked and all the flock laughed and repeated over and over: 'Shut up Karen, Shut up Karen.'
Aran jumped down from the rock feeling humiliated shouting 'My name is Aran...Aran as in an Aran jumper!'
'Shut up Karen! Shut up Karen!' they bleated and more rocks were thrown.
Harold quickly rushed over to Aran's side as he saw the tears rolling down his wooly face.
'Come on Aran let's go!' he said.
The next day all the sheep were in their pods waiting for an announcement from Billy Goat Gates who apparently had bought the farm. As he appeared on the screen, sitting on a throne made out of horn, cradling a lamb and with a few lambs curled at his feet the sheep all gasped in awe of their new unelected leader.
I will take your lambs for re-education the evil old goat said with a sick, sly smile on his leathery face.
'He's so kind' they bleated.
The lambs were wearing masks and little leather harnesses and as Billy introduced them as Minty, Saucey, Rose and Marie he declared all Lambs would now have education and would be transported to his castle as soon as they were born.
'For the good of all sheep for the future,' he said.
Billy Goat started to chant his evil mantra:
'One Rule For Me
One Rule For You
Do As I Say Not As I Do'
All the sheep bleated with delight at this.
Harold and Aran stood at the bottom of the field listening to all this in disbelief.
'Oh my god what's he doing with our lambs? Isn't that Eeney, Meany, Miney and Mo? Oh my God and why are they wearing masks?' said Harold.
'Silence of the lambs' said Aran as they both exchanged horrified looks '...and those masks don't they look a bit, well a bit gimp?' said Aran. 'And what's going on with those harnesses?'
They both stood in silence and their blood ran cold.
'Since when did he become our leader?' said Aran.
They shook their fleecy heads sadly.
Billy Goat Gates was going to fly in the next day on his private jet to visit the farm and deliver a speech to the sheep in person. They were instructed to stay in their pods and await his arrival.
The next day his private jet landed a few fields away where they had built a private landing strip especially for his arrival. One of his Porches would then drive him to the field and then one of his Mercedes would bring him back to the airstrip. He would decide which colour on a whim that morning so ten different coloured Mercedes and ten different coloured Porches had already been shipped and were awaiting his arrival.
The flock were so excited to be meeting their new unelected leader. They felt blessed and waited patiently in their pods for the arrival of the Great Goat.
He arrived in a red open top Mercedes, his horns rigid in the wind. They had built a platform for his speech in front of the pods and a throne made of ram's horns sat in the center.
He arrived onstage to rapturous applause and hysterical bleating. He sat on the throne overlooking the throng and started his monologue. He droned on for a long time about Co2 omissions and how sheep's farts contributed to carbon emissions and how the environment which was in imminent danger of collapse.
It was their responsibility to wear the smartpants, he told them, and to obey the rules at all times or suffer the consequences. They all bleated in agreement. He told them he would take all lambs by helicopter each week for the good of the world and how exciting it will be for those little lambs to experience this wonderful new world.
There would be no more ewes feeding their lambs, this was unnecessary and unhygienic. All lambs would be chestfed by members of the community until it was there time to be 'collected'.
This would be for the good of the lambs and the flock all agreed. As his beady eyes scanned the flock he spotted Emily with her angelic looking newborn lambkins.
'Bring me that delicious lamb!' he said to one of his aides, licking his lips in a most unsavory way, a fleck of drool escaping the corner of his mean little mouth.
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