I stared down at my dinner. There was only a small amount of peas left, which I struggled to count in the dim lamplight. I pushed them around and around, occasionally playing with the tapered edge of the white napkin on the wooden table, before shovelling a few peas into my mouth.
Some cutlery was dropped, making everyone look up. It was Nancy.
Aunt Sara sighed. "What is it now, Nancy?"
"I'm done."
"Well, what about your peas?"
"Not having them." Nancy folded her arms and flicked her dark brown ringletted hair.
More cutlery slammed down. This time it was Uncle Harry. He was still in his suit from work because he'd just got back even though it was eight o'clock. He didn't say anything.
"Nancy," Aunt Sara continued, "please eat your peas. Dani has eaten most of hers like a good girl."
"We-well Dani must like peas so she can have mine!"
"Nancy, please."
I felt bad. Both Aunt Sara and Uncle Harry were working extra hard to save up for a bigger place. Nancy was too young to understand how tough it was for them.
"It's ok. Aunt Sara, Uncle Harry, I'll eat her peas. It's not a problem." I smiled my awkward smile as Nancy slid her plate across the small, round table.
I ate in silence, then offered to clean up after everyone was finished. Nancy scurried off to go play with all her barbie dolls and Uncle Harry went for a lie down. As I went into the slightly brighter kitchen, though it wasn't much brighter with only yellow and brown surfaces to reflect off, Aunt Sara followed me through.
I tried to refuse her help but she insisted. We cleaned all the cracked dishes and stained mugs, in silence, until the last one.
"Hey, Dani," she said quietly, "I'm sorry about Nancy. I would normally be more firm but over the past few weeks since Jeremy was born it has just been so difficult. This place just isn't big enough and I'm just-just so tired and I know Harry is too. If I get angry sometimes, I don't mean it."
The phrase 'just isn't big enough always' scared me because I was like an outsider. I was adopted. Well, my mom was Aunt Sara's sister. Aunt Sara didn't know of my existence till I was 8 but as soon as she found out she'd adopted me as her own. If the place wasn't big enough what was to stop them from throwing me out? They were nice but who knew what people could do when it came to protecting their real families… I'd just heard stories, though.
I nodded. "It's ok, Aunt Sara, don't worry."
Tucking a wisp of wavy blonde hair that had come loose behind her ear she put her hands on my shoulder and sighed.
"Really, Aunt Sara."
"You shouldn't have to call me that, Dani. You've been with us for six years now. How about Mum?"
"I dunno." I looked down at my feet. It was too embarrassing. "I'm not sure Nancy would like that very much."
With that, I left, thinking of reasons why I couldn't call her Mum then shaking them out of my head and blaming it on Nancy like I said, switching on the yellowy lights as I walked up the stairs and down the corridor to my small room that I shared with Nancy. There were only two rooms: one for me and Nancy and the other for Jeremy, Aunt Sara and Uncle Harry.
I went into my bedroom where Nancy was waiting, playing with her set of barbie dolls.
She looked up as I went in and headed towards the mirror hung askew on the door of the scratched oak cupboard.
My blondy brown hair was still messy from the bad cut I had had a few months ago in some poky barber salon on the west side of town. Slowly taking off my dressing gown and hanging it up, I crawled into bed.
Nancy spitefully began to run around shouting role play conversations between her barbie dolls to keep me awake.
"Nancy, please, I have school tomorrow!"
She turned to face me. "Not my problem, Dani."
Instead of retaliating, I turned over to face the wall. Eventually, Aunt Sara came in and turned off the lights, sending Nancy bounding up the rickety ladder to her top bunk.
I couldn't sleep. I just stared at the oak panelled frame of the bunk above listening to the conversation of Aunt Sara and Uncle Harry.
"I just don't think she recognises us as her parents." Aunt Sara sighed. "I'm just worried that she thinks we're gonna abandon her at some point but-"
"Sara, I'm sure she doesn't think that. Have some more faith. We've had her for nearly 7 years, since before Nance was born. She is practically our daughter and calling us Aunt and Uncle doesn't mean she doesn't trust us. It'll all be fine. Now can I get some sleep? I have work tomorrow."
"Course Harry."
Silence. I was alone again in the dark. Nancy was peacefully snoring on the bunk above. It provided a gentle rhythm which helped me gently drift away into the world of sleep.
I was in a dream. Not that you could tell. I was in the house, bringing mud onto the floor from my boots. People in black with masks pushed past me. I ascended up the stairs to my room and turned the rusted door knob. That's when I noticed the scar on my hand. On the inside of my left palm. It was only small but it was still there. In this dream, I wasn't myself. I was someone else in the dream.
The men in front of me dressed in black climbed onto the top bunk, did something and returned with a writhing body. Nancy. My heartbeat began to beat faster. I couldn't tell whether it was in the dream or outside the dream.
"Is this the right thing to do?" I whispered in the dream.
"Shut up." One of the men in black said. "Let's just go. I followed the men holding Nancy down the stairs and out of the house. I was in the street, headed down towards the van parked between two headlamps, when I asked why we were doing it.
"To get the sleeping girl, Harrier." He said. "We dealt with her parents. Now it's her turn."
My eyelids shot open. I was in my bunk, safe and sound. I settled back down, ready to fall asleep again. That's when I noticed it. Nancy's snoring stopped. It never stopped.
"Nancy? Nancy?"
No response.
I dragged my lethargic body out of bed and trudged up the ladder to her teddy bear filled bunk.
She was gone. Jumping down and scrambling towards the window, I noticed that same van, parked in the same place. Nancy.
For a few moments, I was too paralysed with shock to move but when I got a grip, I sped out of my room tripping down the stairs and out the ajar front door. An engine from up ahead jerked into life, its noise carrying through the silence of the row of terraces on the street.
The van began to move. First unsteadily. Then quicker. And quicker. In desperation, I tried to run after it, as fast as I could, screaming:
"Come back, wait! Stop!"
My efforts were futile and the van swerved further and further away.
I dropped to my knees, my head in my hand. I tried slapping myself to see if this was just another dream. But it hurt. And it wasn't.
"Dani?" I recognised that hoarse voice. "What are you doing? Creep."
It was Oscar. He went to my school. I got up to my feet and turned around to look at his face with its dreadlocks falling across his right eye.
"They took her, Oscar. They took her." I gasped for breath.
"Who?"
"Nancy, they-"
He gasped suddenly. "That's why you were acting so fishy." Lights all around the street began to come on, adding more light to the street. "You helped kidnap your own sister?! Wait, till people at school hear about this!"
"Oscar, that's not what I sa-"
"Shut up, you creep! Someone help! Dani kidnapped her own sister!"
What?! "Oscar! Please-"
"HELP!"
He was now yelling, and people came rushing out listening to his lies.
There was now a crowd developing; all the people breathing in and out creating clouds of condensation in the biting cold, in their dressing gowns and slippers. Oscar's pudgy mum came forward, hugging him and pulling him away. People started pointing at me. They looked horrified. Why had Oscar lied? I didn't do it. He hated me at school as well for no reason. I tried to deaf out the voices and shouts by thinking about my dream and how it was possible.
It didn't work. I just closed my eyes and imagined I was somewhere else. Anywhere else. A few bony fingers grasped my shoulders suddenly. It was Aunt Sara.
"What on Earth is going on here?! And Dani, where is Nancy? Is she with you?"
"No." A person in the crowd shouted. "She was kidnapped with the aid of Dani."
The lies had spread. "That's not true! She was just kidnapped. I was trying to stop it."
"And you just happened to know she was out there?"
Murmurs of agreement.
"Oh my-" Aunt Sara tried to bite back her tears. "Everyone go back to your homes. Harry, call the police!"