Chapter 2: Chapter 2 : Starting From The Bottom
Wonder Woman was the first Woman Buttermilk Bob Jr. ever reacted to; Buttermilk Bob had somewhat of an uncomfortable obsession with the character regarding custom merchandise like resin "collectibles" and silicone dolls that he would take "extra" time with during his daily maintenance check. His excitement could not be contained upon seeing what he considered the love of his life however after experiencing a feeling similar to post nut clarity he quickly realized the colossal fuck up.
Surprised that anyone would know her true name instead of the alter ego she created, Lois Lane SuperWoman looked over, seeing the homeless young man staring wide-eyed at her with a noticeable bulge in his pants. Frowning at the sight she wanted to say something but before she could react, a blur of blue and red smashed into her creating a shockwave that sent Buttermilk Bob flying into a dirty nearby alleyway. It didn't take a genius to realize who it was and after recovering Buttermilk Bob wasted no time in running away not wanting to grab the attention of someone like this world's evil SuperMan counterpart Ultra Man.
Due to his previous poor lifestyle despite his healthy body, Buttermilk Bob did not know how to pace his breathing while running and only managed to get a few blocks away before running out of breath and panting loudly, wanting to take a five minute Doritos and Mountain Dew break already.
Buttermilk Bob : "God I hate running".
Wheezing for a bit before catching his breath, Buttermilk Bob ran again through the panicked streets of cars and people trying to get away too. They were all doing their best to avoid the chaos of Ultra Man and Super Woman's battle. It was to the point where people were practically trampling over one another and committing random acts of violence and looting.
Thinking that this was actually a really good opportunity to score some loot too, Buttermilk Bob ran into the nearest mall with the goal of getting some supplies since he had started with absolutely nothing upon arrival. Feeling his stomach growl too he thought it wouldn't be so bad to grab a bag of Doritos and a liter of Mountain Dew while he was at it too.
The mall was a parody of Target having a Blue Bullseye logo instead of the Red Target logo; the name was just as creative to, "Bullseye". Although the mall was a mess of people panicking and looting it looked just like what you would have expected it too, clean marble or tile white floors and walls with accents of blue instead of the usual red everywhere. Despite this place having security, Buttermilk Bob did not worry about being noticed after all with how many people were running in and out of the place who would notice a random homeless kid within the chaos.
Making his way into the sports isle to pick up a white backpack and shoes he snuck around the fighting security guards and employees trying to stop the more violent looters from starting fires or straight up assaulting people in broad daylight.
Buttermilk Bob : "I'm glad I never worked retail".
Feeling that the situation was becoming increasingly scary Buttermilk Bob hurried to the men's clothing aisle packing black jeans, a red shirt and blue jacket before quickly making his way to the grocery aisles. A good chunk of the products were already squashed, ripped, spilled or dropped on the floor. Not wanting to carry too much he opted to grab two boxes of cereal and two bottles of strawberry milk before high tailing it out of there.
People were fighting and screaming, children and women could be heard crying, groceries and products were all over the ground and the security guards were doing their best to maintain order.
On one hand Buttermilk Bob wanted to stay and help but on the other he realized his limits he was not special, talented or skilled in any useful way and given the strange nature of this universe where evil will always triumph over good he knew the chances of him doing any real good here were slim to none.
Despite his guilt for stealing and walking away from people in need, Buttermilk Bob felt a strong sense to not just change this world but change himself into a better man. What he needed to do now was focus on his survival and plan ahead. Nothing good will come from just going into anything dick first.
Buttermilk Bob : "Think Buttermilk! Think!"
Pointing both fingers to his head, he thought about what to do next? While running away he noticed an abandoned bike on the floor thinking it was better than nothing Buttermilk Bob picked it up and rode away to find a place to stay.
Eventually stumbling across a familiar park, in the main DC universe this park would have been ideal with clean green grass and a beautiful water fountain in the middle. But in this world it was disgusting and grimy all over with needles piss and human shit everywhere.
The fountain looked more like a toilet spewing sewage water than anything ideal or picturesque. There were many tents and people sleeping around here but to Buttermilk Bob this place was somewhere far enough from the chaos of the fight and good enough for him to blend in and plan his next course of action. Parking the bike by the women's restroom he figured that it should be cleaner than the men's restroom by common logic of his old world. Checking the door to see if it was locked or occupied he was momentarily pleasantly surprised to see that it was not however upon opening the door the horrid stench of what he could only describe ass beer, sex, shit and skunk? filled his lungs.
It was a special kind of nasty the kind that made Buttermilk Bob gag and want to puke on sight, tearing up a bit he moved his bike in and locked the door. Although it was awful it would be safer than sleeping outside and it allowed for privacy. Also Buttermilk Bob did not even want to imagine what the men's restroom looked like if this was how the ladies looked. The floor was littered with used condoms, bloody tampons and toilet paper smeared with shit. Needles and broken beer bottles were a dime a dozen but by this point Buttermilk Bob had grown some tolerance towards the city grime.
The mirror was cracked and vandalized but still good enough to clearly see himself. The water in the sinks although not crystal clear looked much better than the fountains water so it was a start at least? Thankfully the soap dispenser was perfectly fine, which begs the question: does nobody wash their hands in this world!? Eww what a truly evil and dark timeline this must be.
Taking off all his clothes and using it to step on the floor like a mat Buttermilk Bob used the sinks water and soap dispenser to bathe himself, the water tasted salty which made him cringe and hesitant however Buttermilk Bob was the kind of person that could not relax after a long day without taking a shower so he kept going until his new body was as clean as it could be in these conditions. After changing into his new clothes and sweeping back the messy brown hair he took a moment to look at his new body.
No matter how many times he looked at this new face it felt foreign but because it was much better than his old one he felt it wasn't bad just wield, like seeing a stranger in your own reflection.
Feeling his stomach growl, Buttermilk Bob huddled into the corner by the door and opened his bag, grabbing a box of Captain Munchies and a strawberry milk bottle. Because of his earlier blunder with Super Woman he did not want to leave until he was absolutely sure the coast was clear and that there wasn't some killer psychopath flying around the city going to sweep him off his feet at a moments notice. As he finished his meal and laid back Buttermilk Bob felt it would be safer to wait a day before venturing outside again and so decided to spend the night in this shithole until he could think of a better plan.
There was no point in going back to his old life or old world and with the state of this world his future here was uncertain but grim. Using his knowledge of the DC lore he thought about dozens of what if's on how to gain power or support in dealing with the Crime Syndicate. For a mortal man like him there were definite shortcuts in this universe to get a power boost like getting speed juice, green lanterns/knights ring and Lex Corps super suit, These were all must have things in order to stand a chance against Ultra Man but to how or when he could get them was a mystery. Eventually falling asleep, Buttermilk Bob had decided on dropping by Lex Corp tomorrow as it was the easiest and safest of his three goals to achieve.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone