Again, what the hell is going on? Has the entire universe decided not to let me go to work?
“Yes,” I reply, finding the courage to glance over at the guy next to me.
He is smiling. Actually, he’s staring at me and I realize I’m waiting to see a hint of disgust in his eyes, but I can’t find it. Considering I always keep my head down, almost sunken between my shoulders, it’s possible he can’t see my face very well. Or at all. That would be even better.
I can’t help but notice how cute his smile is, and how beautiful his face is. He’s a bit taller than me, lean, with broad shoulders. The white shirt he wears is tightly-fitted against his chest and the sleeves are short enough to give me a glimpse of his tattoos. His hair is curly and honey-blond, and it falls softly into his pale green eyes. I don’t even remember the last time I noticed so many details on a guy. Maybe my self-imposed isolation has worked wonders on me.
The truth is, I’m not used to looking at other men when I’m dating someone. I blink away my inappropriate thoughts. The stranger’s proximity makes me nervous.
He must have asked me something because he’s looking at me with a puzzled expression. I was completely lost in my own train of thought there for a moment, and I feel my cheeks burn.
“So?” he asks with a smile.
“So what?”
“I asked if you work here.”
“Oh. Yeah, maybe.”
“Maybe?”
God, I feel so stupid!
“Maybe, yes. It’s…well, it’s my first day. And I’d love to go inside, but it seems the whole world doesn’t want me to.” My voice is only slightly above a low mumble.
“Well, okay,” he replies, still smiling. “I didn’t mean to hold you up, sorry. It’s just that my tattoo parlor is around the corner and I wanted to take a look around before opening. It’s the first day for me, too.”
Oh.
“Do you like tattoos?” he asks, not intimidated by my silence.
“Y-yes, I like them.”
“Do you have any?”
What the hell? No. I don’t have a tattoo. I have a damn scar on my fucking face! Can’t you see it?
My grumpy side is pushing to be heard, as poisonous as ever.
“No.”
“Not that I want to be forward, but if you do decide to get one, now you know where you can find me, okay?”
“O-okay.”
This guy could sell ice to Alaskans!
“What time do you start work?”
Oh, please, leave me alone!
“In a few minutes.”
“You’re not very talkative, are you?”
“No.”
“Got it.”
I want to add something, because I feel like an asshole, but my words remain stubbornly glued to my tongue. This poor guy is just trying to be nice, and he doesn’t know it’s really hard for me to even try and be easygoing.
“Sean!”
First I hear the voice, and then this giant man appears a few yards away.
Sean—now I know the guy’s name—smiles at me again before pointing his thumb behind his back.
“That’s Stuart,” he says.
I have to lift my chin to look at the newcomer, and I hate the thought of my hair slipping away, revealing more than I’d like to show. The guy is huge.
I’m not short, and neither is Sean, but Stuart is a giant. He has long, black hair gathered in a ponytail, dark skin and, of course, he’s covered in tattoos. He looks like he might be Native American.
Suddenly I realize something about his name and I can’t help but chuckle. Stuart…as in the little mouse from that movie—Stuart Little. The perfect name for him.
Sean is regarding me with an amused look on his handsome face. “Did I say something funny?” he asks with a quiet smile.
“Oh, no. Not at all!” Classy. I can be like a bull in a china shop.
“Oh. Well, thanks a lot, huh.”
I clear my throat. “No. I mean…it’s not something you said.”
“Then what? You were giggling.”
Please, someone shoot me! No, wait. Was I giggling? Seriously?
I feel myself blushing again and I can’t help but look away.
“It’s just…Stuart. I thought about the movie. Stuart Little. But he’s huge.” There, now I feel like a complete idiot.
Sean laughs so loud I can’t help but stare at him, bewildered.
“You’re funny!” he exclaims, nodding.
Funny? Who? Me?
“I don’t think so. Well, see you, okay?” I whisper, leaving him there like a broken doll with a puzzled look while I bounce up the steps into the library.
I never thought it would be so difficult to talk to someone I don’t know. I feel a bit sorry for Sean, but I don’t even know him. If my employment here lasts more than one day, maybe I’ll have a chance to meet him again. And maybe apologize, who knows?
* * * *
Once inside, I take another deep breath and look around.