Chapter 2: Chapter 2
One evening, after Jesse was down for the night and Darren and Helen were settled in the living room, he said, “Helen, we have to talk.”
“That sounds serious,” she replied with a bit of a smile.
“It is.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve tried to be a good husband, and now a good father.”
“You’ve done very well at it, too. So why do I think that’s about to change?” Her expression darkened. “Have you found someone else?”
“No. I’ve just…Damn, this is hard.”
“Then spit it out fast. That’s the best way.”
“All right. It’s taken me a long time…too long, to accept something I’ve tried my damnedest not to.” He stared down at his clenched hands. “I do love you, in my way, but that’s not enough. It’s not fair to you.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“I think…No, I know I’m gay.”
Unbelievably, she replied, “I wondered if you were. Probably before you even came to terms with it yourself. It doesn’t take a genius to see that you’re not exactly interested in sex with me. You manage it, but even before Jesse was born it seemed to be more of a duty for you than anything else.” She moved closer, putting her hand on his arm. “At first I was sure you’d found another woman and were having an affair. But you never had any of the classic excuses for being—I guess uninterested in making love to me, other than being tired because of your job.” She squeezed his arm. “Trust me when I say that, at the beginning, I made sure you really were out on patrol, and not using it as an excuse when you were actually sleeping with someone else.”
He managed a smile. “Yeah, I got ribbed about that. ‘Jealous wife?’ was the most prevalent comment.”
“I was, for a while. Then, when I figured out you weren’t playing around, I decided it had to be something else. It took some time, but I came to the conclusion you were so deep in the closet you didn’t even know yourself what was going on with you. That’s why I never said anything. Now, it turns out I was right.”
“Yeah, you were,” he replied, kissing her temple. “I’m truly sorry. I wish…”
“Darren, there’s nothing to be sorry about. You can’t change who you are.” She leaned against him, looking up in question. “What do we do now?”
“We could go on the way we have been, but that wouldn’t be fair to you.”
“Or you,” Helen said softly. “Do you want a divorce?”
He sighed deeply. “It wouldbe for the best I guess.”
“I think so. We can set it up so you have visitation rights to see Jesse whenever you want.”
“Thank you!”
“Well, you are his father, and in spite of this he deserves you. Okay, that didn’t come out quite right. He deserves to have a good man in his life. That would be you.”
The divorce had been finalized three months later.
And now Jesse was pushing for him to get into a relationship? Or that’s what Darren thought was going on. Not that he would have minded too much if it happened. It had been a long time since he’d had a male friend who was more than that.
His first relationship after his divorce, with a man he’d met at a club, had ended when he’d found out Jesse was coming to live with Darren. The guy in question might as well have been a carbon copy of Bill, Helen’s new husband, from the way he’d reacted. He didn’t want a kid hanging around, end of story. So Darren had, with some relief he realized later, ended their affair. Next came Nigel. He was a nice man who, unfortunately, had trouble coping with the fact that Darren was a cop.
Still…No, I’m going to make the most of being alone. No problems, no wondering if I’m making the right choices. Me, only me, and, hell who knows? A dog? Jesse will kill me if I get one. I never let him do that. He smiled in amusement.
“Now what?” Jesse asked.
“I was just thinking, I’ll do what you’re suggesting and get a housemate. A puppy.”
“Dad,” Jesse muttered. “That is notwhat I meant.”
“I know, but for now it’s the best you get.”
* * * *
“Exactly how do you plan on doing it?” Leah asked Jesse, Friday afternoon.
Jesse waited to answer until he’d parked in front of the building where they were going to look at yet another apartment. It was something they’d spent the day doing because his mid-terms were over and Leah had been able to trade shifts with a co-worker.
Gifts
-- Gift
received Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone