Chapter 2: The Feeling Everyone Talks About
A year later and I'm still crushing on the same girl. I still hadn't asked her out, but she knew. I was devastated when I found out that her friend had told her shortly after finding and reading the note.
My mind wasn't strayed by it. I still had determination and hope in my soul. Will power was enough to overcome my thoughts and feeling as of that point. It was about the time it would be heading into fall, and I had waited enough. I was ready to do it.
I will do it.
I must.
* * *
I was going to ask her out no matter what. There was no note this time, just straight and to the point. If I didn't do it know, when would I. I settled for the idea that I'd do it soon but I didn't know when.
Lunch time came around and my friends and I sat at our table.
"Fine I'll take the bet," I said. "You better do it or we're all punching you, full force," Yaoi responded. "I'll do it after English class, during the passing period, I'll have four minutes to do it," I answered back.
I continued to eat my food, I was nervous and didn't get to eat much that day, my stomach felt more empty than it ever had, yet I couldn't eat, I was too nervous to eat. Not that the food would've even be good, I don't recall what the food was. However, it was school food, probably some slop, doubt it would've tasted good. I sat there with my mind raving about what I was going to do that day, and how I was going to do it. While chewing on my plastic spoon I hear a loud crack.
"Dam I bit too hard into my spoon, I'll be back, let me go get a new one," I said.
"Can you get me some napkins?" Asked Eli.
"Sure."
While I'm walking I pass by her table.
"Look there he is, he looks disgusting," one girl whispered. She looked almost disappointed in the people sitting there with her, I felt hope and joy flow through my body. "My chance is today, I have to do it," I thought to myself. I grabbed the pack of utensils which had recently gotten knifes taken out of them for dumbasses wanting to do dumbass-like things with them. I took two steps to the right and got the napkins out of a orange translucent container.
I walked back to my table.
This time when I passed by her table they just stayed quiet, my mind wandered. I couldn't get my mind off of her.
I made it back to my table and took a seat next to Carmen at the end of the bench.
"Beans," Kevin says with no emotion in his voice. He pulled out a small white styrofoam cup with beans inside. Eli laughs, he was the only one at the table to start laughing. He's the type of guy to laugh at anything dumb, or anything at all.
After that, there was this awkward silence between the five of us. Carmen cleared his throat.
"So, how are you going to do it?" asked Carmen directing his gaze towards me.
The gaze was sinister, he was ready for that punch, he didn't have faith that I would do it.
"I'm not sure how I will, I'll go with the flow I guess," I responded. "That's a dumbass idea," stated Yaoi.
The other three nodded and said "mhm."
"I know, I know. I just really don't have a plan."
That was probably my worst mistake
* * *
Throughout all of English class I couldn't focus. "Oi Carmen, can I just copy off of you after class?" I ask. "I can't focus because of you know what."
Carmen looks at me like I'm the biggest dumbass ever. "Fine, but if you fail, don't blame it on me that your fau-" I interrupt Carmen "Okay, I understand… still taking those answers tho."
I copied down his answers. She was sitting, on the other side of the room, intently, for what, I have no idea why. I catch her taking I glance at me, my heart flutters. "I have to do this now!" I thought. "No turning back! I've got this!"
The bell rings, that class had felt like a short eternity.
She's still on my mind, she won't get off.
"Yo, she's leaving, go catch up!" said Carmen.
I quickly stuff my backpack full and zip it up, I throw it on and drop a pencil in the process.
"Hey you dropped this," a classmate says.
"You can have it, I don't need it!" I yell back
I raced after her, slithering through all the groups of students. I saw her, she was very easy to see, she was a tall woman, taller than most.
I see her ribbon in her ponytail, I run faster.
"Yo, hold up!" I yell to her. She stops and smiles when she say me.
"How's your day going?"
"Not bad," she said. "What's up with you?"
"Nothing much," I answered back.
"Listen I have something to tell you."
"What is it?" she asks.
"I've had feelings for you, for quite sometime now. I was meaning to tell you a long time ago, but now I would like to know if you'd like to go out with me?" I say.
Her smile fades. It felt as if the ocean were still. She looked expressionless.
She looked disappointed. I knew her answer now more than I ever did.
"Charlie, I appreciate the thought, but I don't see you that way," she says.
"I understand," I reply.
We continue walking to my next class. Her walk is less confident than before, so is mine. Her face seems almost expressionless. She stays silent, the silence feels very loud.
We arrived at the door of my classroom.
"I'm sorry Charlie, I just can't," she says.
"I understand, it's okay," I reply.
I walk into my classroom, trying to seem confident, and trying to keep my composure.
I sit down and stay quiet.
"You just gotta get through the day Charlie," I say to myself.
Weekly Power Status
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Ranking 
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