Chapter 16: Don't move
I try to jump to my feet, but the second I even think of moving, sharp currents of pain run through my body. It feels as if my heart is eating itself, and if what she said is true, then it might be more than just a feeling.
"Didn't I tell you not to move? With how unstable your soul is, a stiff breeze could do you in."
I barely have the strength to mutter.
....Why?
"Dear, save the questions for after I save your life. For now, sit still and do nothing. I want you to do so much nothing that you don't even think about it. Can you do that for me?"
....
"That's better. Now this is going to hurt quite a bit, but if this works, then it should buy you a bit more time."
Suddenly the spiritual particles in the air begin to swirl, and I can feel them coalescing around my chest.
"Kame no tsume"
This time, it's not even a pain so much as it is a sheer rejection of reality. Whatever she's doing to me hurts to the point that I can hardly think of anything but saying "no." The pain quickly fades to the point where it only feels like a hot fire is pouring through my veins.
"I'm a little surprised you survived that; usually people explode when I do this to them."
What?!
"Heh, just a little joke to lighten the mood. It seems you're feeling better already."
What did you do to me?
"I placed a seal around your wound to help stabilize your soul. As long as you don't push yourself, it should hold for about a month."
Why?
"I take it that you're wondering why I helped you? My duty as a soul reaper requires me to return your soul to the cycle of reincarnation. However, my duty as a healer is to heal the sick and wounded. It's a conundrum, but the solution is simple. All I need to do is heal you for now, and when the time comes that the seal breaks and your soul is about to be destroyed, I'll put you down myself."
What happens if my soul is destroyed?
"When a hollow devours itself, its soul is torn to shreds and returned to the cycle of reincarnation. That is to say that in your next life, you'll probably end up as a hundred or so bugs scattered around the world of the living."
I try to sit up, but it feels as though there's a massive weight in my chest.
"Sorry about that; I'd restore your spiritual pressure, but for some reason when I try it, it simply vanishes. You'll have to rest for a bit to recover on your own."
I close my eyes, and for the first time in a long time, I actually dream.
"Are you okay?"
Don't ask me that.
"Why?"
because you won't like the answer.
I find myself in my inner world, floating in the sky. A few of the chains have snapped and are dangling into the darkness.
It's.... It's not here.
Zentai no ana... Where are you?
I try to dive into the darkness to search for it, but before I can even reach the mirror, I slam headfirst into a barrier. For a brief moment, the ghostly outline of a majestic turtle fills my soul, but by the time I register its presence, the turtle is already gone.
I don't know how to feel. I can still feel a connection to the mirror and to the darkness below, but there's something missing.
Should I be glad I no longer have to listen to its sass?
Zentai no ana
Zentai no ana!
Please, answer me...
Zentai no ana! How am I supposed to get stronger without you?
I cry out to the void,
But no one came.
The sky is... gloomy.I never noticed until now, but there's no sun or moon in this place.
For the first time in a long time, I feel... lonely.
I can still remember the look on its face, yelling at me to get stronger.
What should I do?
There's no teacher here, no lesson to be learned. There is no adversary to face nor challenge to overcome.There's just me.
I'm all alone in the dark. I'm reminded of my nightmares, but there is not even a monster to keep me company.
Should I give up?
The darkness begins to grow deeper and deeper, and although the barrier tries to keep me away, I find myself slowly sinking into the darkness.
Bit by bit, I can feel myself fading, being eaten away by the dark, but at the last moment, I see a light. It's tiny and nearly impossible to see, but I reach out to it regardless. I'm reminded of something.
There may not be anyone here to guide me; there may not be anyone who cares about me, but there's still me. I'm still here, and I care.
I awake with tears in my eyes.
"It's hard to sense, but I can feel the slightest amount of spiritual pressure emanating from you."
I think I nearly died just now.
"Do you know why experimentation on hollows was forbidden by the Soul Society?"
What does that have to do with
"It's because it never worked." "No matter how powerful the seal or how skilled the healer, when a hollow's hole is sealed, they die."
Then wh-
"It's because you're different." You're a hollow, but you're not. I can't explain it. "All I can say is to stay away from the Research Division; Mayuri would carve you up within seconds, and that'd undo all of my hard work."
'Can I go back to class now?'
"You have a month left, and you're going to spend it on class? Truly lovely. Yes, you can go back to class, but try not to push yourself. I saw what you did to your hand, you know."
-She's scary.
"Did you say something just now?"
-She can read minds!
I slowly sit up, and to my surprise, the pain is mostly gone.
I slowly clamber to my feet, and I take a step before realizing I have no idea where to go. Suddenly, without warning, a man steps through the empty doorway.
"Hey you there, are you Banks?"
'Who are you?'
"I'm Funai, Yoshihiro, from the 8th division. "Captain dispatched me to retrieve you for a mission."
'A mission?'
Funai snorts before pointing his finger at me.
"You're a lucky kid; not just any student gets to go on missions before graduating."
'What about class?'
"Don't worry, the captain has already talked to Gengorō and got his permission."
Somehow, I don't quite believe this strange man.
'Really?'
He sighs
"Captain thought you might have a problem with that. He said, "It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission, and everything would be fine."
'What is this mission anyway?'
The man stops for a moment before smiling proudly at me and declaring, "I don't know!"
"Are you done?" "I do have patients to attend to, and if you continue to make a ruckus, it may aggravate their wounds."
"Yes mam!"
He grabs me by the arm and pulls me through the door. We pass through a hallway, and soon we arrive at the entrance. He stops dragging me for a moment to open the door, and then I am outside.
The air out here is... colder. I feel a dull ache in my chest, but I do my best to ignore it.
As I am essentially carried through the winding paths and walled-off passages, Funai begins to make conversation.
"You know that for someone who got noticed by the Captain, you don't have much of a presence."
'Thanks?'
"If I didn't have my hand on you right now, I probably wouldn't even be able to tell you were behind me."
....
"Anyway, this is going to be a long walk, so why don't you tell me about yourself?"
"Where are you from?"
'Do you mean where I was born or where I was when I first came to the Soul Society?'
"Ah, so you weren't born here." "Interesting, I wonder what you were like when you were alive."
'I was... interesting, I guess.'
"Interesting is good." Speaking of interesting, I heard you awakened your Zanpakuto. Can it do anything interesting?
'I have it right here; it sort of just swallows things. I haven't really tested it on something living, so I wouldn't try to stick your hand into it.'
"Wait, have you had your Shikai released this whole time?"
'Am I not supposed to?'
"Keeping your shikai released takes energy. "Usually only lieutenants can afford to keep it out for long periods at a time."
'Huh, I didn't know that.'
"I'm beginning to see why Captain was so taken with you."
....
We arrive at the barracks, and the ever-present smell of cheap booze fills the air. Somehow the smell has only grown more powerful.
Funai barges through the door and shouts.
"Alright, I got the kid; he seems to have recovered nicely."
The door to the Captain's office creaks open, and I see him standing there with a dark look on his face.
"Nice to see you made it in one piece, kid." Please come in and take a seat."Come in and have a seat."
He beckons me in, and I oblige.
'So what's this mission about anyway?'
"Oh wow, I can actually sense your spiritual pressure now; I guess you aren't a ghost after all."
'Aren't I already-'
"Figure of speech, kid." "Come sit down, and we'll talk about this mission."
'Where's Kentaro?'
His expression darkens, and I take a seat.
"Have you heard the rumors going around about soul reapers disappearing?"
'Yes, Kentaro told me about them.'
"I told him to keep his mouth shut. Ah well. The thing is, Kentaro was in charge of investigating these rumors."
'You're not saying-'
"Kentaro vanished. I want you to help us look for him. I'll be sending my Lieutenant with you to make sure we don't lose you too."
'Why me?'
"I've seen the way you fight, almost as if you have eyes on the back of your head."
'You were watching me?'
"Don't worry about that part; the point is that your senses are unnaturally good. Your ability to sense spiritual pressure is, quite frankly, almost unprecedented for a student."
He scratched his chin with his hand for a moment before continuing.
"If my hunch is correct, you should be able to track spiritual pressure as well."
'I don't have his spiritual pressure memorized.'
"I have one of his spare uniforms here. It should be absolutely soaked in the stuff."
I sniff and take in his scent. It's kind and pleasant, but with an undertone of earnestness.
I focus on the scent, trying to get a feel for it. I shut my eyes, ignore my ears, and focus entirely on my nose. The world around me is empty, but as I focus harder and harder, something begins to fill the space. It's a trail, thin as a blade of grass and impossibly long, but I can sense it. Out of instinct, I reach out for it and grab onto it, and I open my eyes to see the Captain smiling.
"It looks like I was right."
"Lisa, dear, would you please come here?"
I can sense her annoyance before she even gets in the room.
"Please don't call me that."
"Our little hunting dog here has got the scent."
"That's ridiculous; even I couldn't track down something so faded."
I see her step into the room, but the moment she enters, her expression changes to one of disbelief.
"This shouldn't be possible; Kentaro's spiritual pressure was so faint; did you do something to it?"
The trail begins to slip out of my grasp and disperse, so I dash forward and try to follow it.
"You better follow him, Lisa, darling; if he gets lost, I'll lose a bet."
I hear a crash, and suddenly I feel something approaching. Whatever it is, it is not happy, and so I dash forward faster and faster. The pain in my chest begins to intensify, but I ignore it and carry on.
"There you are, you brat; don't run off on your own like that or you'll get lost."
I slow down, seeing that it's only Lisa, and I continue to stalk the trail through the winding halls and passages.
I can't help but have a bad feeling about this.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone