Chapter 342: Wrapped up.
I checked the quarantine zone for contamination before ordering the androids to bring them all to the living room.
"Took you long enough." Wanda huffed.
"Yeah. Took a while to wipe out the old gods. One even almost escaped because I was distracted by the giant fucking tree the traveler clone made. Do you have anything to say about that, Wanda dearest?" I asked.
"I tried to stop him. But he's... well he's you." Wanda shrugged.
"So an idiot. I see."
"I have a question." Wanda asked, pointing to the side, "What's his deal?"
I looked over at the infiltrator clone who was repeatedly walking into a wall like a mindless drone.
"Oh, right. He's uh...I was in that body before. But now that I'm back in the true body, it doesn't have any consciousness. And with the whole killing the old gods thing, I haven't had the time to either plant a new consciousness in him or reabsorb him. So he's just roaming around. I'll come around to it."
"Which reminds me, darling, why is my true body not awake?" Wanda asked, tapping the armrest impatiently.
"Because I didn't wake it? Besides...." I pulled her to my side, and kissed her cheek, "You look cute in this body too."
Wanda smiled softly and snuggled up to me.
"Don't think that makes up for not waking me up." She whispered.
"Well, considering you missed the traveler's insane plan, we'll call it even."
She pouted playfully for a second before giving in.
"I suppose we will." She giggled, "But what are we going to do about him?"
"Ah yes, I was coming to that." I turned to Jay-23, sitting opposite me on the sofa, fidgeting as he cast nervous and conflicted glances at Offee. Offee herself was in quite a bit of distress, her eyes red from crying, and beside her Yue sat in silence, giving me an indecisive look.
Ooh, yeah, that thing. I guess Offee technically cheated on him with me huh?
I can only imagine how he's feeling. On the one hand, I know I wouldn't tolerate cheating.
On the other hand, it is Offee, and I do love her.
It's a real dilemma. For him, that is. I'm just going to kill her and the kids.
"So, Jay-23. How would you like to die? Boiled in oil? Drawn and quartered? Or do you prefer the Soul Shredder?"
"You didn't make the Soul Shredder." He rolled his eyes.
"No. But I can. And yes, it's a false choice. Whatever you choose, I'll be absorbing you anyways."
"Can you please spare the kids? At least the kids, please, Jay, dear?" Offee begged.
Seeing those big, blue eyes so red and weak, it almost melted my heart. Almost.
"I'll consider it. After we deal with this."
Jay-23 narrowed his eyes.
"I'm not afraid to die."
"Sure you're not." I chuckled mockingly, pulling him to me as I stood up.
He dangled by the skull in my grip as I peered through his memories, watching what happened. I had guessed the gist of it, but I just wanted to confirm.
"....you don't have to be an enemy, just because you exist, buddy." I heard him say.
Heh. This guy. He's a cheeky brat isn't he? I laughed, confusing him.
"Why aren't you dying? The cognitohazard is supposed to kill you!"
"Hm? What are you talking about?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Cognitohazards this weak don't work on me. Didn't he tell yo- of course he didn't tell you." I laughed harder.
Yue just looked up at me confused.
"I don't understand? If he didn't want to kill you then what- why even?" Jay-23 mumbled.
"First off." I dropped Jay-23 to the floor, "My clones are programmed with absolute loyalty, down to their very soul. He is physically unable even think rebellious thoughts. And judging by your memories, you should have experienced that compulsion to submit to me personally, right?"
Jay-23's eyes went wide as he realised he had been tricked.
"Then what does it do? What was he trying to do?" Yue asked, finally speaking up.
"He was trying to pull a Lex Luther on me?"
"Wait, like from Superman : Red Son? The world-in-a-bottle thing?" Jay-23 asked.
"Yeah."
"I have no idea what you mean." Yue just blanked on it.
"Why don't you just ask the man himself then?" I turned to a window and reached out with my divine power into the antiverse, and pulled out a tiny scrap of soul. With a flick of my wrist, it turned into a full grown code, as I casually tossed it into the soulless clone wandering around the room.
"Hwaah!" He gasped, "I'm alive?"
He looked around the room.
"Oh fuck me sideways. I'm alive." He realized.
"Yeah. Exactly." I crossed my arms, "What were you thinking?"
"Nothing much, really. I was a scrap of soul in the void. There not much to think about in that state." He repleid with a cheeky grin as Yue slammed into him.
"Jay!" She sniffled, pummelling her fist into his chest, "Stupid, stupid idiot!"
He hugged Yue and patted her head.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't ever do that again, you hear me! Or I'll seriously lock you up in a dungeon all for myself." She warned, poking his chest.
"I don't think you'll have to worry about it soon enough, isn't that right, Jay Prime?"
I sighed, rubbing my temples.
Yue is really attached to him and looking at Offee....yeah. If I kill him or punish him I lose at least Yue. And after seeing the memories of Jay-23, I want to keep Offee too if possible. She won't replace my Offee but at least Star will have his mom back for a while. My little baby boy has been upset for so long. I just want to see him happy for once. I can always kill her and her kids after mine is revived.
So punishing him is out of the question.
"You know when Martin Luther wanted to protest the church he nailed a letter to their door. But you...you little shit, you reshape the workings of a whole multiverse to do the same. Which, I guess is to be expected from myself, but still. You couldn't have sent me a letter?"
"Would you have read a letter if I had sent it? Would you have spared them either way?"
"And that justifies your utter stupidity? What's with that self sacrifice play anyways? You thought you coud escape punishment by jumping into the antiverse?"
"I figured it wouldn't be worth your time...." He replied meekly.
"It wouldn't be worth my time? To what? Did you expect me to let a piece of my soul just float about in the void for all eternity so some other shmuck can find it and use it against me?"
"I uh...I didn't think that far." The traveler clone admitted, scratching his head awkwardly.
"He's you, darling." Wanda giggled as she grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers and gave me a little squeeze, "Complete with your half baked, overcomplicated, harebrained schemes."
"Wanda~" I protested.
"I said what I said." She smirked, "Now you see why I was getting angry instead of crying?" Wanda said, poking Yue, "I knew he wasn't going to get anything done like this. All he did was waste everyone's time."
"It wasn't about getting something done. It was about sending a message." The traveler clone said, shaking his fist theatrically.
"Yes, yes. Message received."
"But you're still going to kill them."
"What do you think, jackass?"
"Yeah about that, darling." Wanda intervened, "You're not killing any of them."
"Not even these two?" I pointed at Jay-23 and the traveler clone.
"Oh go ahead. Have a blast." Wanda said, "But I'm not letting you kill my sister-wives."
"I'm not going to kill Yue." I said.
"And you're not going to kill Offee either." Wanda ordered.
"She's a threat!" I pointed out.
"So is Hela but you're keeping her around anyways."
"In cryosleep. And for academic purposes....." I defended.
Wanda gave me a deadpan look.
"....partly." I added.
I plan on reprogramming Hela to be my wife later but that's a different matter.
"Offee isn't a threat. She's your wife. She loves you." Wanda said.
"She loves those two." I pointed at the two beside me.
"And those two will soon be assimilated into you. So no excuses."
"Wanda understand-"
"No. And that's final."
"Honey-" Wanda gave me a stern glare.
"I won't kill Offee right now." I conceded.
"Or the kids. Ever." Wanda stood her ground.
"Be reasonable."
"Darling, I'm being very reasonable right now. And trust me, you haven't seen unreasonable." Wanda insisted, "Besides, if you had listened to his complaints, and instilled in them the confidence that you would listen to their grievances, this whole issue would have never even come up. So it's partly your fault."
I sighed.
I hate to admit it but she is right.
I have been a bit too domineering and tyrannical to my clones.
"Maybe, and this is just a maybe, I might have some teeny, tiny, little bit of fault here. Almost negligible." I admitted.
Yue giggled and Offee looked up hopefully as Wanda nudged me.
In the end I could only give up.
"Fine." I agreed, "I won't kill them. And I will institute a little reform. We'll put in an anonymous suggestions box for the clones to air out their grievances."
"And they're allowed to have lovers and kids without asking for your permission." The traveler clone added.
"Don't push it." I gave the clone a dirty look.
"Clone rights matter!" The clone chanted.
"Shut up you." Wanda sewed the clone's mouth shut, "And Jay, darling, relax." Wanda cupped my face, "They'll be yours in the end anyways." She laid her head against my chest, hugging me gently, "I had a lot of fun with Yue and Offee down there. I never knew how nice it was to have sister wives. Someone to relate to in ways we can't. And now, I want lots of sister wives. And lots and lots of kids. A very, very big family. Don't you?"
"I do, but it- I just...."
"I know. You like to be in control. I get it. But you can't rule the omniverse alone. Eventually you'll have to trust them a bit more."
I relaxed and squeezed her hand. She really had me wrapped up around her finger. She was my first serious relationship after Offee. And I might have gotten a bit too attached to her. Especially with how great of a mom she was to the kids. She really won my heart there.
"You're right." I turned to the clone, "I'll allow it. But that's it. No more. You too, Wanda."
"Yes. I'll let you take the charge now, my little control freak." Wanda teased, and flew up to kiss me, "And I'll let you men sort it out between yourselves. In the meantime, Yue, Offee, come I'll show you to your rooms."
"I'll wake your true body up in a bit." I said, "So be ready."
Wanda nodded and disappeared with the other two.
"Now then where were we?" I grinned evilly, cracking my knuckles.
"At the part where you let us go?" Jay-23 asked hesitantly.
"Yeah, no. Not a chance." I laughed, grabbing them both and absorbing them in one go.
_____________________
And the clone saga ends.
Next time, the final chapter. And then, Epilogue time! I have a lot of epilogues in mind.
Thanks for reading.
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