This chapter portraits the mentioning of not-so-great side of the society, drugs, violence, sexual harassment, and so on can be also shown, read for your own risk.
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A short story.
I died.
...
Ah, nope. Seriously, how does making this... monologue works? better ask the villains later, I hope they'll give me a proper answer and not a demented ones, I'm tired of getting something like that.
I believe that I should've not be able to speak here, but whatever...
So yeah, how does this really works? I mean everything! Even if I am an illogical person, I'm still confused of this shit.
Oh... this shit... tihs siht?! Eh?
*television buzzing sound*
*cough*
Seriously-
*cough*
I meant to introduce myself first, wasn't I?
Gosh, my mental health sure dried off after watching anime constantly for 5 years purposely searching for a fapping material, I can't even remember my name! Was it Ed? ah... Alexander? Alex? Kevin? uh... Wakanda? Karen? Bimbi?
Nevermind, I don't think I'll remember that, just call me something like novel's MC or whatever, I don't care about what you think of me.
...just lem'me talk like this, okay?
Then... the next was... age! Uh... I'm currently dead so, zero(ed) years old? I mean it's the recent ones so the logic works like that, nevermind the past and look to the future, they said.
Also, they said that there's no one that should ask the age of a lady, I don't think I'm purely a male? (A/N: a trans?)
Done with the Age, and the bit of gender? then next was... why the f*** am I here?
I don't know, I- Oh! Just recieved a fresh batch of memo! So... Okay? Uhuh... Oh! ...what? Eh?
What the heck?
Summary of what I 'read'(don't ask how, it's the bullshit called mystery for the reality's PoV) was that I am actually a social WEEB before, the events come as followed just a few months/years before I died:
- I left the house as an adult(actually a rebellious teen) and dropped my scholarship(my parent's tried but it's my call to take it or not, to my opinion that is) at the most popular university where my aunt was working for, since I don't have the same thinking of the others that I should need to graduate to live, I am a bonafide lazy couch potato WEEB after all. Though that was the starting point and what happened 3 years ago, my bad.
What am I going to do after that? Would and can I try to live normally or not?
All I know was, even my first birthday, I'm not going to be with the 'angels'. So what happened next were very obvious.
- After I left, I thought of change, or atleast what I have thought of what I've done. I searched for the door to the 'darkside', basically where the thieves, druglords, gangs, and other jobs that society had opposed and want to banish, thankfully I got accepted. Quite easy for a guy so thin to apply as a lackey in gangs to a very greedy captain/henchmen(he's trying to undermine his boss's power to get all the booty looty), selling explicit drugs like cookies to entice the clueless kids to come with us(no, I didn't tried it off, just hold the plastic, spoke and negotiate, then done, and thanks to my eloquent responses, that mild petty praises, and charming smile, I got quite the customers), beat up some scaredy-cat on some alley where either pickpocketed, murdered, or sometimes if it was a woman, ra***. And no, I'm still a scaredy-cat to touch a knife and stab someone at one point, beating them though, it gives me quite the feeling. And because of my quite the special ability, I became the "tactician" of my small 'group', the boss were happy since our group started to gather fame because of my 'do's and don'ts' which greatly helped the group with proper wording and time to speak, after all everyone here were as crazy as I am.
And yes, I could still remember when I accidentally "murdered" someone, I felt like shit, but later the desires to do evil wraps me again, I am not "me" anymore. The morality faded like a bubble, and I had a new perspective now.
Very far from it, I am now a "monster". And as I know, I became a scum, a sinner, that no one can cleanse nor pull me back to the light.
- Another short story, my group rose on the ranks, the boss became one of the big boss's 'branches', and I became the same as him when he accepted the thin me. The smaller local gangs become either refugees or a pile of rotten flesh, we show no remorse. I have grown a backbone, or so the old boss had said. What makes me to rank up was when I and three new ones attacked the school where a mayor's son was schooling and boldly kidnapped him and a few... good looking girls for the S-slave markets in the underworld, though nasty, I cared less to it, being part of this work needs a tough stomach and strong mind, you need to be selfish, to be prideful, to be cunning, to be vicious at the enemies, if you want to live in this kind of world. Though the gang now was being chased by the military whom seeks the peace and opposes the group for it's continuous savagery, not what the politicians thought of us.
(A/N: I don't know how the Society "Underworld" works, but I know more or less the obvious fact that everyone there doesn't need the law and rules to live, it's a restriction for them to live as they want, and yes, my opinion about hiw to live there was real, the current society have too many eyes to bother, and at the Underworld were the literal 'Food Chain' that happens.)
The emotions? I forgot all of it, In the world where I entered voluntarily, morality doesn't matter, what matter were either money, power, and woman, though there's something that doesn't change.
There's no need to know though, and I am starting to find dying as a state where the true adventure starts, can you survive? will you reincarnate after death to start another journey? I find it amusing to ponder upon, since I already left the hobbies a lazy couch potato should've done every day.
In a weird sense, I changed to a proper man, but in the wrong way of change.
But does it even matter? My parent's should be proud of what I am now, bloodied and sticky, am I a villain or not?
Nevertheless, I also lost something again, or maybe because I can't think of it, the connection to everyone were very fragile and unnoticed, I just saw them as acquaintances, not like brotherhood or something else.
Am I already insane?
- The act I've done become a hot topic, the mayor wants me dead, but as the big boss had took a liking to my 'brilliant' thinking, I am not invulnerable inside the Underworld in a sense, else the rising or local or the weak rival gangs would be later disbanded or exterminated if they tried to make a move to me. All in all, I become a powerhouse of my group, due to the brashness yet calculated schemes I am baking, the big boss grow onto more and more terrifying tyrant to other's eyes, but I could sense that our group will later become the most critical part of civil war and panic through the country or maybe, even the whole world.
- Last short story. All of our efforts fell apart when one of a traitorous a*sh*** ratted us out to the unified forces all over the world since the big boss become an underworld tyrant, the group were confronted by many military forces from different countries, sadly he was not like that wannabe villain with slenderman like face in MHA that I should quote "alrady complete" in manga series. The war broke out, and sadly the underworld lost, probably because of the military using the same nasty scheme I used on the son's mayor (using him as the hostage in the midst of the social points but later killing both the father and son with a spray of bullets). Anyways, I and the few branches(just got a ranked up) were told to run away by the big boss, though some stayed and well... tried to finish me thinking I was a coward and traitor too because of being the first to walk away, not that I had an emotional connection to them, sure they know me but does that mean I should stay my ass inside the oven?
Being like that, I am not offended to be called a 'traitor', I don't have any values so I can't be a traitor in that kind of logic.
- Well, it was obvious what happened next, I and the rest of the group had a confrontation, but I didn't kill anyone for respect at the big boss's sacrifice and instead got hurt minimally. Exactly as we finished in the confrontation, the military barged in and shoot towards the group, but I tried my best to cover them alteast to honor of what kind of life I have till now. Though, that cost me my life. A barrage of bullets hit my body, and so faded the life on it.
Now this mysterious 'me' died like that, I am still clueless where I am, where would I go, and what was this place.
...
Whatever, I already had tell my tale. I'm tired of living, even though I became a demon in the dark(metaphorically) with shit-show telling of the story of my life, that now had a distinct sadism to inflict pain to everybody, I am more or less content to sleep, rest, somewhere in the middle of the two.
So now I'm going to rest, rest in peace. And never wake me up again! Ya hear?!
Not like I'm going to reincarnate now I spoke this nasty story with many grammatical errors and vague explanations... right?
...
...
...
I just jinxed myself aren't I?