Chapter 3: Hell is better than my life

I woke up feeling pains all over my body and my cheeks hurt like crazy but most of all I was very hungry, I was starving, completely famished.

I walked quietly into the kitchen looking around to see if my stepfather was there, but I did not see him around the kitchen side and the living room, I guess he must be in his bedroom.

The coast was clear, I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for myself. I made four slices because I was really hungry and I did not know when next I would eat. If he even gets a whiff that I ate, he will not stop beating even through the night.

I ate quickly and started cooking dinner for my stepfather, the last time I made dinner late he locked me in the room and he did not let me out for a week he starved me.

He would often come inside the room during that one week to beat me and he will force himself on me, he will further hurt me.

I decided to make macaroni and cheese with roasted chicken wings.

I rummaged the drawers and brought out a pot, a spatula, and all the ingredients I need to prepare the food, my mom taught me how to cook just months before she died.

When I was twelve years old, before she passed on she made sure that I was always in the kitchen with her and helping her out, sometimes she would even ask me to cook little things like spaghetti and meatballs, noodles, rice, and beans with tomato sauce.

I made sure to keep memories of her and my father, my biological father close to me.

I love both of them so much, but they both left me in this world with this man to hurt me and do to me as he pleases.

*flashback*

8 years ago

"Mom please take me to the park.

"No!"

She immediately declined and a frown found its way on my face my dad could not bear to see me like that because I was his little princess, my mom would get jealous whenever my dad calls me that.

"Come on my little princess let's go to the park." My dad volunteered to take me to the park.

"Honey, how many times have I told you not to call her that, if she is your princess then what am I?"

"My dear lovely wife you are my Queen." She immediately smiled at that.

"Now start going shoo."

"Are you chasing us?" My dad asked.

"Yes, besides if you do not leave now, you will go there late and you will have little to nothing time to spend there."

"Okay, sure, bye dear."

"Bye."

She then blew a kiss on us.

Just before we left I decided to ask her one last thing.

"Why did you say no to taking me to the park."

"Because my little Angel, I have some work that I would like to finish and also I have to make dinner."

I nodded my head and headed out with my father, I was not surprised my mom would rather work than spend time with me, at least not anymore, my mom loves her work and takes it very serious a little too serious when we got to the park, I saw a lot of people walking their puppies, a lot of them were very cute.

I saw a cotton candy stand and immediately ran to it.

"Dad I want one."

"Okay, princess."

He got me the strawberry-flavored one, I took it from him and started munching on it, my dad and I went for walks and he carried me over his shoulders, we giggled and laughed and had a nice time.

We got home later than we were supposed to but my mom was so engrossed in her work to even comment on it, my dad went to the kitchen and found food in the oven rice and tomatoes sauce with a side of deep-fried chicken.

She did make dinner, I thought.

*end of flashback*.

My dad was a very handsome man, very tall with good physic, he had jet black hair and black eyes like mine, I do not look a lot like my father. I only took his height, and the rest of my physical appearance from my mom, my dad was not that old he was around thirty-nine then now he would have been forty-eight if he was still alive, I have so many lovely memories with him.

I secretly hid pictures of my mom and dad, because I do not want to ever forget what they looked like, once I start debating with myself on what they looked like I just go and take a long and good look at their picture.

I keep the picture safe in my room in a box under my bed. I do not want my stepfather to accidentally find it because if he does, he will not spare me, he will just go ahead and kill me.

I am sure he will make my death slow and extremely painful, completely putting me out of my misery, where I will then go to hell for being the cause of my mother's death, I do not care if I go to hell because right now hell is better than my life, the so-called life that I am presently living.

Once I attain the age of eighteen, when I become an adult I will flee from this house and live my life quietly somewhere else, I just have to bear this torture of only two more years.

I hope I can pull it off, I have never tried to escape, if I do, where will I go, I will just end up in foster care and I do not know which is worse.

I will endure this for the remainder of the time I have, then I will flee, I wonder why all this is happening to me, is this the cruel fate destiny has installed for me?

I hope not because I will not give up, I am not weak even though I am indeed weak physically, I will still fight till my last breath, that is once I attain the age of adulthood of course, or if I see a very nice family that will treat me like their own I would love that.

I do not think I will ever be able to live a normal life, what if my foster family does what my so callso-calls called things to me, what will happen then? no, I can not have a foster family.

I will fend for myself once I attain the age, I can not go through this all over again, I finished making dinner, and looked around the time was already 7:00 pm and he is not back yet. I quickly ate out of the food I made, I guess today is my lucky day, I finished and went to my room, closed the door behind me and I decided to do the homework. About thirty minutes later, some of the worst things happened to me.

My room door was thrown open, and in came my stepfather, he unzipped his belt and I knew what came next, I quietly cleared my book and undressed, willingly giving in to him.

The last time I refused him, he was strangling me and was beating me all at once, he took off his boxers and did with me as he pleased I did not want him to have the pleasure of hearing me cry.

I muffled my voice and tried to cry as silently as I could, while he used me like a rag, a piece of cloth used and thrown away, and I know that even after this what will come next will even be worst. He would stick stuff inside me and use harmful sex toys on me, it always hurt every time and I never failed to bleed, whenever I do bleed he will use the whip he got especially for me to beat me twenty lashes for bleeding.

I would cry out and beg and plead with him but he never listens to me instead he will beat me even more. After he was done with me.

He gave me another slap before he picked his clothes from the floor and he just left me there naked and afraid bleeding and battered like a worthless animal.

I crawled to the bathroom and I washed as much as I could, I wobbled to my closet and grab my tattered worn-out turquoise night gown, and went to bed, hoping there will be better days ahead of me.

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