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Chapter 18: Chapter 18 Painless

We make our way back to Konoha at a much more reasonable pace then the one Pakkun and I took while coming out here. It takes almost twice as long to get back. The fighting is over by the time we are there. There is no need for any form of combat at all, which is something I dread. I don't want to face my losses now.

Sasuke and I are in training ground seven when Kakashi finds us. We didn't know where else to go.

"Sasuke. Alvarcus."

"Kakashi-sensei." Sasuke greets coolly. I say nothing.

"Sasuke, I have bad news." Kakashi takes a deep breath.

"Sakura is dead. Alvarcus told me. How did she die?"

"Quickly. Painlessly."

Liar. I saw her body. A slit throat is not a quick and painless death.

Kakashi glances at me. "Did he also tell you about his..."

"Family? I figured it out. They're gone too. Don't tell me how. He doesn't need to see it again."

"I have more bad news." Kakashi says. "The Hokage is dead. The service is tomorrow. The gennin who stopped Gaara are getting a seat of honor at the service." He turns to just me now. "The other gennin said that you saved their lives. That they would be dead if you didn't intervene."

"I didn't do that much." I rasp out. Since when is my throat dry?

"That's not the story going around. A gennin wielding black threads tears a Suna nin to pieces, runs after his teammate, destroys three Sound teams at once, single handedly crushes the Kazekage's kid's puppet and then goes on to battle a released bijuu and wins? You made quite a name for yourself today. The shinobi are talking about you the most. They're using your accomplishments to offset the losses we've had. Instead of talking about the bad things, they're talking about you. You've impressed a lot of people."

"Great." I reply. All of my anger is gone now, all that's left in me is a emotionless void. I simply can't process what happened.

"I've got to go now. The jonin are meeting to figure out the damages and pick a temporary Hokage until the next one is sworn in. We lost a lot of people today. The next few months are going to be hectic, between rebuilding, missions, and getting a new Hokage. I hear I'm in the running. How cool would that be? You got trained by a Hokage!"

Sasuke snorts. "Nothing would ever get done. You'd call important meetings and then show up late for them."

Kakashi laughs. "True! I'll be around. Take care of Alvarcus, Sasuke." He leaves with a swirl of leafs.

"Get up Alvarcus. You've sat on the ground long enough. We're going to my house." Sasuke hauls me to my feet.

"Alright."

I don't even have a home anymore. Home was where my parents were, and they are gone now. We make it there with little fanfare. The civilians are in designated areas until the aftermath can be cleaned up. The shinobi know better than to try and approach someone out of it like me. When a shinobi isn't paying attention, they stab fist and hide the body later.

We enter Sasuke's house. I head to the couch. I just want to sleep.

"No you don't! You will not ruin a perfectly good couch by getting filth all over it! There's a bathroom down the hall to the right. Clean up. You can take the spare bedroom this time." How generous.

"I don't have any clean clothes."Is that my voice? I've never sounded so beaten.

"I'll find some your size. There are a lot of clothes around here of all sizes. Fair warning, most have the Uchiha crest on them."

"That's fine." I smirk. "I can always burn it off."

"Funny. No jutsu in the house. Go wash up. I'll leave the clothes outside the door." His eyes flash crimson.

"Sasuke. Did you just-"

"Not. A. Word." He shudders. "Imagine if my fan-girls found out about that. They would switch targets from trying to get me, to trying to get us together. Gross."

"I'm repressing that. Repressing it very deeply. Never to be heard of again." I make my way to the bathroom.

Sasuke was right, I'm filthy. I'm covered in blood splatters, dirt, and who knows what else. It takes a solid ten minutes of scrubbing to get clean. Then I notice something. I'm missing strips of skin on my right arm and shoulder from Temari's wind attack. My threads are showing. I can see them, mimicking what my muscles would do. It is horrifically fascinating. I need to learn how to regrow skin using medical chakra.

"Clothes are outside." Sasuke calls to me.

"Thanks."

I wrap up my shower, and dry myself off. I look in the mirror. I've changed so much over the past month and a half. The only part of me that isn't marked by a scar is my head and neck. Everything else has at least one scar. It looks like some stabbed and sliced me repeatedly with a kunai.

"Aw shit. I lost my sunglasses. Everyone saw my eyes today."

That is concerning, yet also relieving. No one made a big deal about them, even the people who have never seen them before. It's nice to know I'm still accepted. I put on the pants Sasuke got for me. I leave the shirt off for now. I want to wrap up my arm to hide the threads. Plus it will provide me with a distraction. I don't want to think about everything I've lost today. Not yet. Not ever.

I exit the bathroom.

"Hey Sasuke? Do you have any bandages I can use?"

"You're hurt? Do we need to go to the hospital?" He comes out of his bedroom, rolls of bandages in hand and stops. "Holy shit man. What happened to you?"

Oh. I suppose the dirt and blood did cover up most of the scars. Now they are on display.

"The Jiongu, what Orochimaru infected me with, is parasitic. It lives in my body, eating my chakra to sustain itself and grow. In exchange I can use it in battle, the downside is that I have to let it through my skin. Every time."

"Those are self inflicted?" Sasuke asks concerningly.

"Yeah, most of them. You should see my back. It's way worse."

"Show me." I turn around. "I didn't believe you when you said those masks were stitched on."

"They are."

"Isn't it uncomfortable when you lay down on them?"

I burst out laughing.

"What? What did I say?"

"I show you my masks, and your reaction is 'I bet that's uncomfortable.' Hahahaha! Oh man I did not expect that! Ah I needed a good laugh."

"Just take the damn bandages." He throws them at me. "What do you need them for anyways? You're not bleeding anywhere."

"Uh Sasuke? See the giant black mark on my right arm? That's not a tattoo. I don't have any skin there."

"Alvarcus. Hospital. Now!"

"Oh calm down I'll go tomorrow. It's not that big of a deal to me. The Jiongu replaced my muscles. That's why it's black. Actually, the Jiongu replaced everything but my heart and skin." I say while wrapping bandages around the exposed Jiongu.

"Fine. No hospital this time. Any other surprises you want to tell me about?"

"Hmm..." I think about that, "Oh! I can make my chakra strings change into each element I have! And I can have one made per finger!"

"You and your damn chakra strings, they aren't that impressive."

I lash out with four earth natured strings and bind them around Sasuke.

"I said no jutsu in the house!"

"Admit it's a cool idea, or I change one of the elements."

"I won't!"

I make a water change and douse Sasuke with them.

"Oh come on I just put this shirt on."

"Admit it."

"No." ZAP. "Ow. Was that lightning nature? Okay, I can see how that would be effective. I give."

"Damn it. I was going to use fire next."

"Go to sleep! I've had enough of you for one day."

I take his advice and go to the spare bedroom. The bed is much better than the couch. I don't sleep well that night. Visions of my family dying keep replaying over and over. Removing Sakura from the scroll. The sickening thuds the body made. I don't sleep at all.

The funeral for the Third Hokage was a village wide event. Only the hospital staff and patients didn't attend. I had a front row seat with all the gennin that helped stop Gaara. It was a huge event, even bigger than the Chunin Exams final tournament. Many people cried, not wanting to believe it to be true, not wanting to believe that the pillar of strength they could always rely on is dead.

I am not one of them. My tears are for my family and Sakura.

After the funeral for the Third Hokage, there is a quick speech from the village elders thanking every shinobi who died for their village. They also mention how sad and terrible it is that civilians died from being caught up in shinobi affairs. That's it. A quick three minute speech to remember the civilians. My parents. And the event is over. We're expected to move on, to go back to our duties. I don't know if I can.

I approach my parents spot on the casket line. Namika Mar, Fujita Mar. I'll never see them again.

"That's him? That's the one that stopped the sand beast?" Someone whispers from behind me.

"I heard he ripped a Suna shinobi to pieces. Do you think that's true?"

"Didn't he save a bunch of gennin? He was in the booth with them when the invasion started, I saw a shinobi go in there. Do you think he killed him too?"

"Excuse me, I know this is a bad time, but are you Alvarcus Mar?"

I turn around at the sound of my name. It's a woman talking to me. One with the Nara symbol sewn into her clothes.

"I am." Go away. I want to be left alone.

"I'm Yoshino Nara. I wanted to thank you. You saved my son." Shikamaru's mother. That's who this is, and she's thanking me.

"You're welcome." The words feel hollow.

I turn back to my parents. She doesn't leave.

"If you need anything, you only need to ask. The Naras owe you a debt. You saved our heir."

"I did what anyone would do." Just go away.

"That may be true, but you're the one who did it. There is a debt. I'll leave you to mourn." She walks away.

The murmurs start back up.

"That's Alvarcus Mar, he's the gennin that all those stories are about. What's he doing here?"

"Didn't you know? He saved so many people, but he couldn't save his parents. That's who is in those caskets."

"Oh. Poor kid, no one should have to go through that."

"It's even worse than that, I heard he watched it happen."

"Really? I couldn't imagine that."

"You have my thanks, young one." A deep male voice says. I glance over my shoulder to see a very tall Aburame. "You saved our clan heir."

"No. I merely assisted." I insist.

"Shino believes he would have perished if you did not arrive. I trust my son. You saved him."

"Shikamaru helped. It wasn't just me."

"I'm going to him next. The clan has decided that we owe you a debt. Ask, and you shall receive."

"It would be nice if the people around me WOULD STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" I yell, more for the bystanders than the Aburame. "I want to be alone. I don't want to talk to you anymore. Not today."

"Of course." The Aburame man bows his head to me. "My name is Shibi Aburame. If you require aide, come find me in my clan compound." He leaves.

I stand looking at my parents coffins. Few people approach me after my outburst. Most thank me for helping someone close to them. Others merely ask if the stories about me are true. A select few stand next to me and pay respects to my parents. Those are the people I respect.

"Alvarcus. Let's go back to my house." Sasuke says. "You've been here for hours. It's time to go."

"You're right. I know you are, but I still don't want to go." If I leave, then it is final. They're gone, I'll never see them again.

"Come on." He places a hand on my shoulder. "I want to say the first day is the hardest and that it gets easier with time. It doesn't, the pain never truly goes away. But staying here won't achieve anything. What would make them happy? What would make them proud of you?"

I think it over. "To achieve my dream. Even if they didn't want me to be a shinobi, they would be happy I succeeded."

"Then do it. Don't wallow in self pity, don't waste away into nothing. Make them proud!"

I wipe my face dry. I didn't know I was crying again.

"I will. I'll need your help. S-rank isn't easy to obtain."

Sasuke smirks. "Please. You think I'd settle for less? If you're going to do it, I won't have a problem with it."

"Alright hotshot. Let's go." We leave my family behind. "First thing is first, we need to get a higher rank. Oh Kami, what if we didn't pass? We might have to do the Chunin Exams again! I don't know if my heart can take the stress!"

Sasuke snorts. "You have spares."

The Next Morning, Sasuke's Kitchen

I'm sipping on a glass of milk when Sasuke walks in with a big yawn. His hair is still disheveled from sleeping and he's wearing a very flattering pair of gray pajamas with a ridiculous amount of blue jays flying around on it. I'm totally going to tease him about this later.

"You didn't sleep at all did you?" Sasuke asks me once he is done yawning.

"No. Not one wink."

"That's the second day in a row. You're going to have to sleep eventually, even you can't go on like this forever." He rummages through his cupboard and pulls out a breakfast bar. "Want one?"

"I'm good, thanks."

Our conversation dies off as he eats and I finish my drink. There's really not much to talk about.

"So. What's the plan for today?" He asks me.

"We can check in with the missions department. Maybe they'll have something, probably cleaning up around the village." I'm okay with that, I could use some hard labor to distract me for a few hours.

"Works for me. We'll go once I get ready." He tosses the wrapper into the trash can and goes back to his bedroom.

"Really wish I had a camera. Those pajamas were ridiculous."

Mission Department, Hokage Tower

"Wow this place is busy." Sasuke shouts over the ambient noise of people working. "I've never seen it this packed before."

"Well everyone wants to help out. I'd wager Konoha will focus more on patching itself up more than sending us out on real missions for the next day or two. We need to look presentable to foreign clients."

"Fair point. But do we really have to wait through that line?" He points to a long line of waiting shinobi. There's at least twenty people waiting to get a mission.

"I hope not. That would really suck."

"... We could just train for a day?"

"What do you mean I can't take the mission alone!" Naruto's voice cuts through the air. That kid is loud.

"You're a gennin. Gennin can't do solo missions. Get a team and come back." The chunin he's arguing with dismisses him with a wave.

I look at Sasuke. He shrugs. Good enough for me.

I walk over to stand next to Naruto. "He's not alone. We're his teammates. Alvarcus Mar and Sasuke Uchiha reporting for duty with Naruto Uzumaki."

Naruto is shocked out of talking. I didn't think this would surprise him that much.

"Why didn't you say you had a team?" The chunin throws the scroll to Naruto who catches it reflexively. "Waste my time why don't you. NEXT!"

Sasuke and I start walking out of the missions department. "So what mission are we doing?" Sasuke asks.

There's no reply.

I look over my shoulder. "Uh... Naruto? You coming?" He's still standing in the same spot.

"Oh right! Yeah let's go!" He rushes to catch up to us.

"I think I hate you." Sasuke says in a serious tone. "Out of all the missions you picked this one?"

"It sounded like the most fun! It said search and retrieval!" Naruto defensively says. "How was I supposed to know it meant this?"

"Eh, it wasn't that bad." I casually mention as I pet the feline in my arms.

"That's because you're not covered in scratches!" Naruto points at me. "Why aren't you covered in scratches?"

"Tora loves him. No one knows why." Sasuke says while tenderly touching the new red lines on his forearms.

That's right everyone, the mission Naruto picked was to catch Tora.

"I still can't believe it took three hours to find a stupid cat." Naruto mumbles to himself. "I hope we set a record or something."

"I think we did." I turn to the purring cat in my arms. "Whose a cute little kitty? You are! Aww you're so precious!"

"Really?" Naruto asks with hope in his voice.

"Yeah." Sasuke blandly says. "It's a new personal record for Alvarcus and I. We've never taken this long to get her before."

"This day just gets better and better." Naruto mumbles to himself. "Let's drop the cat off and leave."

"Sure thing 'boss.'" I sass him.

The Next Morning, Sasuke's Kitchen

"... No sleep again?" Sasuke plops down into a chair opposite me. Thankfully he's ready for the day this time, there's no ridiculous pajamas. I'm both relieved and disappointed, they were excellent blackmail material.

"Only about three hours. Once the nightmares woke me up I couldn't get back to sleep."

"Three is better than zero. You'll get there eventually, it took me a long time too."

"How long? I don't know if I can keep going like this."

"Months. To this day I still sometimes lose sleep over it. It isn't something you ever get over, you learn to live with it." He grimly says. He's not lying either, the pain in his eyes is to real.

KNOCK KNOCK

"OI! SASUKE YOU IN THERE?"

"Was that Naruto?" I think it was.

"What the hell does he want?" Sasuke grumbles as he moves to the door.

That's a great question, what does Naruto want? Actually why isn't he with Jiraya? Better yet what's Jiraya doing? They need to leave to get Tsunade soon.

"Yes? Did you need something Naruto?" Sasuke asks.

"I thought you, me and Alvarcus could do another mission." He sheepishly rubs the back of his head. "I would have asked him first, but I have no idea where he lives."

"Hey Naruto! I've been crashing here for a while!" I call out to him.

"That makes this so much easier! What do you two say? You in?" He eagerly asks.

"Not like I've got anything better to do." I get up and walk over to him.

"... Fine." Sasuke agrees. "But I'm picking the mission this time."

"What the hell are we supposed to do?" Naruto harshly whispers to Sasuke and I.

"Be quiet! They're about to walk past!" Sasuke shushes him.

"I blame you for this Sasuke. This is all your fault." I muster as much anger as I can in a whisper. It's a surprisingly large amount.

"How the hell is this my fault!"

"You picked the rubble clearing mission in this ridiculous heat, then got the bright idea to take your shirt off to cool down. You've been gone for over a month! How did you think your fan-girls would react?"

"You're the one that was yelling about my pajamas! You didn't help at all! And did you have to be so descriptive? 'They're dark like a stormy cloud and the blue jays shine like the worlds most precious sapphires. They're exactly like him, a brooding ominous person but once you examine him closer you find that there's brilliant shinning points to him.' You egged them on!"

"Shut up! They're seconds away!" Naruto commands us.

All three of us spend the next seconds in a tense silence. We don't move, we don't blink, we barely breath.

"I found them! They're over here!"

"RUN! Meet at Rally Point Delta!" I yell and we scatter.

The Next Morning, Sasuke's Kitchen

"Any sleep last night?" I ask Sasuke.

He shudders. "No. I was plagued by the visions of the most vile creature to ever walk the earth."

"Fan-girls?"

"Fan-girls." He venomously spits out.

KNOCK KNOCK

"OI!" Huh, Naruto is here again.

"Doors open!" Sasuke calls out.

"Sup guys?" Naruto says once he's inside. "Up for another mission?"

"Why not? Not like it could go any worse than yesterday's." Sasuke grumbles.

"That means it's my turn to pick!" I happily chime out.

"This is not going to end well." Sasuke groans.

"I hate you." Sasuke says.

"I hate you too." Naruto agrees.

"You can't blame me for that. It was a simple demolition mission! All we had to do was get rid of a half destroyed house!"

"And you managed to blow it up." Sasuke accuses. "Along with three others."

"That's not to mention all the other buildings that caught fire in the blast. They had to call in ANBU." Naruto hangs his head in shame. "ANBU."

"How was I supposed to know that the shinobi that lived there was working with explosive chemicals?"

"Alvarcus you don't have to solve everything with fire!" Sasuke whirls on me. "You could have pushed it over with an earth jutsu or used wind to cut away key structural points but you lit the building on fire!"

"But... but it's fire! It's so cool!" I say with stars in my eyes. "It solves everything! Naruto next time summon Gamabunta again and we can do that crazy combo! I can even add wind to the mix now that I've practiced with it! Muahahaha! AHAHAHA! MUAHAHAHA!"

THWAP

"Bad Alvarcus! Bad! We don't cackle like evil villains! Bad!"

"Sasuke I'm not a dog. You can't train me like that."

"I don't know, we haven't tried a squirt bottle yet." Naruto evilly adds.

"Do keep in mind that I'm the only one here that knows water jutsu. If you get a squirt bottle I guarantee that I'm going to come out on top."

"Maybe a shock collar?" Sasuke suggests.

"Also know lightning jutsu. A lot of lightning jutsu."

"We could muzzle him." Naruto offers.

"It would certainly cut back on my headaches." Sasuke mentions.

"Stop that! Stop it right now!" I order them. "I am not a dog!"

The Next Morning, Sasuke's Kitchen.

Sasuke and I are sitting across from each other.

"Any sleep last night?" He asks. "Cuz I didn't get any. I kept dreaming you burned down my house."

"I'm sorry! I won't intentionally burn down any more buildings!" I pause. "Maybe. I promise nothing."

"You have a serious problem."

Knock Knock

"Oh just get in here already." Sasuke groans.

"Hey guys. We need to talk." Naruto sits down at the table too. "I... I think we should not take missions together for a while."

"Oh thank Kami!" I say in relief as Sasuke let's out the world biggest sigh.

"It's just... wait. You two are okay with that?" Naruto sound surprised.

"Yeah. Nothing against you, but when all three of us work together something terrible happens. On every damn mission we take too." Sasuke says with a hint of fear laced into his voice.

"Thank Kami I thought this was going to be so much harder than that." Naruto sighs. "I can't believe every mission went wrong. They were D-ranks. D-ranks!"

"What do you guys mean every mission?" I ask. "I thought we did alright on the Tora one."

Both Sasuke and Naruto twitch.

"That's because you weren't attacked. I had half a mind to go get rabies shots." Naruto shudders at the memory.

"We will never speak of that day again." Sasuke demands.

"It wasn't-"

"NEVER AGAIN!"

"Fine party pooper have it your way." There's nothing wrong with Tora, thank you!

"So..." Naruto awkwardly says. "Have you two ate breakfast yet?"

"Nope." I tell him.

"No."

"Well... if you want we could maybe go together?" He hurriedly reaches into a jacket pocket and pulls out a couple of crumpled pieces of paper. "I know a great place that has the best food ever! I've got coupons and everything. What do you guys say?"

Poor Naruto. He's really starved for attention if he's willing to do something like this. I wonder how many people his age he actually talks to?

"Sure. I'll go." His face lights up at my words. "I guarantee it's better than the food here."

We both turn to Sasuke.

"No thanks, I happen to have plans for breakfast already." He casually tells us.

What the hell? He has plans? I didn't expect that. Wait a minute... could it be? Nah, that's ridiculous this is Sasuke! Okay I have to ask.

"Sasuke, are you going on a date?"

He freezes, his whole body locks up. His eyes are super wide and there's a surprising tinge of red on his cheeks.

"You are!" I accuse him. "So, whose the lucky lady? Do I know her?"

"Wow would you look at the time? I best be going, bye!" He disappears in a swirl of leaves. That bastard shunshined away from me before I could grill him for information!

"I'm actually proud of him. Who would have thought that Sasuke would go on a date?" I say to myself. "Well Naruto, it's just us. Still want to go?"

He shrugs. "Honestly I was prepared for neither of you wanting to go. I'm still game."

"You know when you asked if I had breakfast yet I thought we were going to get breakfast food." I deadpan to Naruto.

"But this is breakfast food." He reassures me.

"This is a ramen stand."

"No, it's the ramen stand. There's a distinct difference." He boldly strides into the stand.

"Whatever, I've had weirder things for breakfast before." I follow after him.

"Hey Teuchi, hey Ayame. How's things?" Naruto calls out.

"Naruto! Long time no see! How've you been? You need to come by more often we miss our favorite customer!" Teuchi happily replies.

"Oh you've brought a friend!" Ayame kindly waves at me. "Hello, I'm Ayame and that's my tou-san Teuchi."

I give a sheepish wave back. "I'm Alvarcus Mar, pleasure to meet you."

Ayame's eyes go wide when I said my name. "You're..."

"A customer." Teuchi cuts in. "They came here to eat, not to be stared at."

Great. Even ramen cooks know about me. Who doesn't know about me? Is this what Sasuke always feels like when he tries to go somewhere?

"So what will it be boys?" Teuchi asks us. I'm glad he's not making a big deal out of it.

"The usual please." Naruto orders.

"Twelve bowls of assorted ramen coming right up! What about you Alvarcus?"

"Uh... surprise me. I've only ever had cup ramen, so I'll trust your judgment."

"Gotcha!" He walks back to the kitchen.

"He knows I don't want twelve bowls right?" I ask Naruto.

"Maybe? I dunno. Oh well if you don't eat it I will."

"Works for me." I give a halfhearted shrug. "So how's training with Jiraya going? Gotta be cool being taught by a Sannin."

"Oh it's great! He's really strong and he knows tons of jutsu! I've learned loads of things from him." He pauses and his face turns slightly bitter. "When he's not working on his books. Or his spy network. Or peaking on women. Or drinking. Or... well you get the idea. When he actually takes the time to teach me something it's great."

"Ouch. That's got to be rough."

"It is."

"Hey, at least he's always around. Sure he's not always teaching you but you can go to him for advise. He didn't disappear for a month with your teammate."

He chuckles. "Yeah that would suck. When I need him to he comes through for me, he is always there. It's nice having someone I can turn to. Wait, did your sensei do that?"

"Yep. Took Sasuke for a month long training trip right before the final tournament."

"Dude. Talk about favoritism."

"Nah, it wasn't really like how you're thinking. He lined up a teacher for me before he left. Actually he picked the perfect person. The guy was terrible at teaching but he wasn't really there to teach me."

"Well what was he there for? Who wants a teacher who doesn't teach?"

"He was there to help me adjust to the Jiongu. He survived something similar to me. Besides, Kakashi-sensei knows how resourceful I am. He knew I didn't really need anyone to help me I just had to get used to my new power. Yamato was more of a babysitter than anything. Kakashi wanted to make sure someone was looking out for me while he was gone."

"Oh. That makes sense." He pauses. "Do you mind if I ask about the Jiongu?"

"Sure, ask away. I can't promise I'll answer but I'll at least hear you out. There's some things I don't want to talk about. Bad memories and all that."

"Does... does it talk to you?" He whispers out.

"Sometimes."

"What does it say?"

"That's one of those things I don't want to talk about." I don't think I would have been that brutal with the Suna nin if it wasn't for the Jiongu.

"Oh. Sorry."

"Nah, don't worry about it. There's no harm in asking. Anything else you want to know?"

"Do you wish you could get rid of it?"

"Usually. Every once in a while I find I'm thankful I have it. Take the invasion for instance, there's no way I would have been able to do half of what I did without it. I would never have made it out of the stadium. Hell I might not have made it out of the contestant booth."

"Here's your ramen boys!" Ayame prances out and places our respective bowls in front of us. "Dig in!"

We both do, Naruto with much more gusto than me. It's actually pretty good, I had my doubts.

"So what has you so curious about the Jiongu?" I ask between bites. "Usually people ask about what it can do, not what it is like. Actually most people don't even know that it is called the Jiongu."

"Oh. Uh... no reason really. Just wondering." He attacks his meal with renewed gusto.

We eat in silence for a bit. Every once in a while Naruto would glance at me with a tinge of hope in his eyes and a great deal of sympathy.

"It doesn't bother me. In case you were 'just wondering' about that too." I break the silence.

He freezes with noodles halfway to his mouth. He's terrified right now, but there's a sliver of hope in his eyes. "What doesn't bother you?"

My eyes dart to his stomach, right where his seal is. "We're pretty similar, you and I." I extend a couple of threads out of the palm of my hand and let it twirl my eating utensils around. "I never asked for this. I never wanted this. But I have it. I'm not going to let it define me. The Jiongu doesn't decide who I am, I decide that." I snap the Jiongu back into me. "You don't have to worry about scaring me off. You can be yourself around me, hell you can talk about it to me if you want to. Let's be honest, no one else really knows what it's like."

Naruto resumes eating at a much more relaxed pace. All the tension that he usually carries with him is gone. "You know, you're actually pretty cool. I'm glad we're friends."

"Me too Naruto. Me too."


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