Chapter 5: Self Awareness
*Tuesday afternoon*
The anticipation of today's soccer game plagued my mind throughout the day. I could hardly recall what was discussed in my morning classes, nor during lunch with Soo Min and Mi Cha. They were just as excited to attend, as I never go to any school function since Hoseok graduated. They teased me endlessly about my reasons for attending. Soo Min continued playing ridiculous scenarios about what could happen between Min Jae and myself after accepting his invitation. Thank goodness for Mi Cha and her sound of reason. She kept Soo Min's incessant imagination from getting out of control.
Before I knew it, it was an hour until the game began. This provided students the chance to go home and change, get a quick snack or simply engage in conversation. Those who had not yet purchased a ticket, began to flock to the vendor stand. I stood with Soo Min and Mi Cha in the parking lot watching students scattering around.
"Did Jimin say he would meet you after the game?" Soo Min inquired.
"Uh, no, I assume he would go out to eat with his teammates," I smiled awkwardly. Jimin did suggest that we go out to dinner and said Mi Cha was welcome to go. I hate lying to Soo Min, but I didn't want to loose a chance to hang out with my cousin. I had to hope she'd understand if she were to put herself in my position.
"Bummer," she shrugged, "Oh well, let go eat something before the game starts."
*Game time*
The crowd cheered as Min Jae lead our school's team onto the field. I stared in fascination as everyone chanted his name, clearly demonstrating how important he was to the team. Ae Ri lead the cheerleading team in the school cheer for our players. I bitterly smiled just thinking how beautiful she looked in her uniform. She is the definition of feminine beauty. Her presence on the sidelines was breathtaking.
My attention diverted away from Ae Ri as if being called elsewhere. The opposing team ran onto the field and huddled before breaking off into different directions. I spotted Jimin, his presence also adding some form of beauty to the field. I may be biased, but there was no denying how handsome my dear cousin is. Soo Min cheered unabashedly when she too spotted him.
"Go Jimin!" she screamed to the surprise of some of our peers. I giggled at their baffled stares at her cheering for the other team.
"Ri! Look!" Mi Cha enthusiastically shook my shoulder. I glanced at her huge grin and followed where she was pointing at. "Isn't that Taehyung?"
It was indeed him. His jet black hair flowed as he ran towards the goal. His eyes were focused on the play and the intensity was intimidating. He swiftly kicked the ball into the goal, dodging the other players that intended on stopping him. His face broke into a grin as his team high fived him and carried on with the game. It was as if his presence consumed my attention. He was a very skilled athlete and had no problem working with Jimin to pass the ball back and forth. The other team seemed to struggle at keeping up with the pair. Years of playing together was evident in the silent communication between them.
"I thought you were here for Min Jae," Soo Min teasingly elbowed me, pulling me out of my trance.
I coughed to clear my throat at having been caught staring for so long. My cheeks began to blush in embarrassment. Jimin never mentioned that Taehyung was going to attend the game, let alone be one of his teammates. I had every intention of never talking to him after our first meet. The attraction I clearly felt for him was something I would never admit to. Jimin spoke of him constantly as if he were his brother, and that was not something I wanted to complicate.
"I was just surprised to see him. And you have to admit that his skill is something to be amazed at," I waved my hand as if to dismiss anything she may be implying.
"I won't deny that," she grinned, "and the other girls seem to be taking notice as well."
Sure enough, all the other girls seemed to be taking in the handsome player on our opposing team. I watched the game while listening to the conversations around me.
"Who is he?"
"I don't know, but he's gorgeous!"
"I came for Min Jae, but find myself torn!"
"That little boxy grin is freaking adorable!"
"The other one with the brown hair is breath taking!"
I grinned knowing they were talking about Jimin at the end. The game ended close with the other team winning by two points. Although I felt bad that our school lost, I was thrilled for Jimin's win. We began to walk off the bleachers towards the fence that blocked the audience from the field. We were so into our conversation that I hadn't noticed Min Jae approaching me.
"Nari, you came," he beamed as he stood in front of me and leaned on the fence that separated us.
"Of course, I said I would," I smiled back. Soo Min and Mi Cha not so casually moved to the side within hearing distance but enough to allow us to talk. I rolled my eyes at their lack of subtleness. Other students were glancing at us to my unease.
"I wish you came on a day we won," he sighed. He used a towel to wipe some sweat off his face, his eyes never leaving my face.
"You gave it your all and was very impressed," I reassured him. I may be dense on many things, but I know a man's pride means a lot to them so I tried to assist on keeping his less bruised.
"Um, do you have plans..."
"Ri Ri!"
Min Jae's question was cut off by an affectionate nickname by none other than Jimin. Having gathered his equipment and parted from the rest of the team, he and Taehyung set out on finding me. Min Jae stared in confusion as Jimin embraced me in a bear hug.
"Yah! You're all sweaty!" I playfully smacked his chest. The other students gasped or had looks of shock at the interaction. With the exception of Soo Min, Mi Cha and Taehyung, no one else knew our relationship.
"Um, Na...Nari. How do you know Jimin?" Min Jae stammered on his words.
"Ri Ri, you didn't tell me you were dating Min Jae," Jimin said, his arm still around my shoulder.
"No, we're not dating, Jiminnie!" I quickly corrected. I did not need anyone spreading rumors, nor did I want to offend Min Jae.
Min Jae's eyes flicked between the two of us. "How do you two know each other?"
"No need to worry, Min Jae," Jimin chuckled. "We're cousins."
As if satisfied with that answer, Min Jae nodded his head and sighed.
"I was going to take her out to eat, would you care to join us?" Jimin offered.
"Oh no," he declined, "I should meet up with my team. I just wanted to talk to her for a minute. I didn't expect her to actually make an appearance. I'll see you tomorrow, Nari."
I shyly nodded and waved as he walked away. I could feel Jimin's eyes on me without even having to look at him. Soo Min and Mi Cha giggled together knowing the interrogation that was to follow now that Jimin was witness to my odd behavior once again. Taehyung stood silently, watching Min Jae walk away. His face held no emotion, making it hard for me to determine what he was thinking.
"Ready to go?" Jimin asked, "Or should we continue to gawk at your boyfriend?"
I scrunched my nose in annoyance as he made kissy sounds. My friends were no help as they laughed along with him. I playfully chased him to hit him again.
*Taehyung's POV*
I watched as Nari chased Jimin to our car. She was no match for his speed and was far behind, eventually giving up. The others continued to talk, Jimin listening to all the information her friends were willing to share. Nari frowned as they giggled at her situation. I watched her cheeks turn a shade of pink at the things her friends were saying. I could tell that her friends were exaggerating things simply to annoy her, but that didn't stop Jimin from adding to her embarrassment.
"You like him?" The question left my mouth against my better judgement. I don't even know why I asked. It was obvious that she liked the guy. I saw the way she kept her eyes on him as he leaned on the fence. She was already blushing before Jimin started teasing her. Anyone watching could see she was smitten by him.
"We're just friends," she muttered. She fiddled with her fingers, not bothering to look my way.
"That's not what I asked," I slightly bumped her shoulder to get her to look at me. I hated that I felt like I needed her to look up at me. Seeing her blush for another guy like she did for me the night we met, annoyed me. I swore to myself that I'd not do anything to jeopardize my friendship with Jimin, yet I couldn't stop myself from not wanting to see her with Min Jae.
"There's no liking him," she met my eyes, "He's too good for me and I wouldn't dare reaching that far."
Her words left me speechless. I watched her catch up to the others. I shook my head in bewilderment at the lack of self esteem she clearly had. How could she think of herself like that? She's a decent gamer. She's extremely cute. From what little I've seen, she is kind and loving to those she holds dear. I don't see anything that great about Min Jae for her to think herself beneath him.
'Snap out of it, Tae,' I told myself, 'It's not your place. She's allowed to like whoever she does. Even if it isn't you.'
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Sauce8
Sauce8 I've always struggled with my own self esteem, and it took years for me to love everything about myself. One of many things I love about BTS is their message of self love and the awareness they bring to topics such as mental health. Readers, always know you are worth so much and should strive for the best.
Fun Fact: Kim Min-Jae and Taehyung are actually close friends in real life so it was fun making them Nari's love interest. Nothing like two dashing men fighting for our heroine. ^-^
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