Chapter 36: 35. My everything
Wednesday, 1st. April. 2015
It was just after lunch. The sandwich I'd had did wonders for my growling stomach considering the only thing I'd had this morning was an iced coffee. I'd accidentally slept in and hadn't had enough time to make anything. This was because my mind was racing as soon as I snuggled into bed last night.
So much had transpired over the past month. I'd gone from not having any memories to having so many. Happy memories with people who mean a lot to me. But there was something unsettling amongst the cheerful buzz. Like the carpet could be ripped out from under me at any moment. It was contrasted against a stark and dark reality that possibly only lay a few more layers beneath this seemingly happy and peaceful surface.
But, eventually, I'd fallen asleep. My anxieties washing away into the nothingness. This back and forth I've been internally struggling with was getting to the point where I was getting numb to it.
This morning during my first class, I got a text from Jimin. He'd told me they were having a backyard barbecue tonight to celebrate moving into their new place, and he invited me to come along. Of course I said I would. Nothing beats a good old barbecue and a couple of drinks in the backyard with friends on a nice, warm spring night.
So, when class finally finished up for the day, I rushed home to get ready for the small get together. I took my time getting ready, seeing as I wanted to wear something cute but comfortable.
After doing my hair down straight and putting on a subtle yet full face of makeup, I chose what to wear. Since I didn't have time to shop, my selection was rather lacking, however, I decided on a cute white skirt and baby blue jumper. Matching a delicate and pretty side bag and low heels with it made sense.
Early evening had fallen by the time I wandered over and rang their doorbell. I could hear loud talking and laughing from inside, the music muffled by the walls of their place. It was like they'd already started having fun. After a brief moment, a frazzled-looking Jin greeted me.
"What's the password?" He asked, obviously knowing I did not know what he was talking about and on the verge of breaking into laughter about it.
"Jin's the most handsome man in the entire world," I quickly replied, my mind doing wonders for me under pressure. He broke into that laugh that threatened to leave him, and I joined in.
"God, you really know all the right things to say, don't you?" Jin mused, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me into their place with him. My body relaxed under his touch.
"Merely speaking facts," I hummed, giving him a wink. Everyone else was in the kitchen when we walked in. The back doors were slid wide open, so the space looked much bigger. The music played faintly and the warm night air filled the open dining area, which now included the backyard.
Tae, Jimin and Joon were all chatting, having a drink while lounged outside on couches that were around a lit and crackling fire pit. Yoongi was busy in the kitchen with Jungkook, who was taking cooking instructions from him. And Hobi was standing at the island counter, beer in hand. But, as Jin and I entered, he was the first to notice us and broke into a huge smile.
"Hey cutie, glad to see you made it" He slid up and pulled me into a quick one-armed embrace before stepping back and taking a sip of his beer.
"Glad to be here, thanks for inviting me," I hummed happily in reply. Jin let me go and lent against the counter as the three of us settled in to talk.
Yoongi turned from where he was frying something on a pan at the stove to join our convo. "It's not like you had a choice. Jin Hyung would've dragged you over if you'd said no," Yoongi said, cracking a laugh.
"Well yeah, I would've. But it didn't come to that," Jin laughed too.
"Jia, did you want something to drink?" Jungkook asked. He'd been chopping up mushrooms on the counter we were all huddled around.
"Yes, please," I replied. Looking around, I noticed they all had either beers or another kind of beverage. The buzz of the vibe indicated that they had been drinking for a while. Yoongi beat Jungkook to it as he headed over to the fridge.
"Any requests?" Yoongi called to me as he peered into the fridge, then back to me.
"We have some Umeshu. It's her favorite," Jungkook commented, so Yoongi rummaged around and pulled out a tall green bottle.
"Aw thanks, wait but, how'd you know I like Umeshu?" I quirked a brow, trying to recall whether I'd ever disclosed that to him.
"I think it was Jimin that told us" Jin was quick to brush it aside, and speaking of Jimin, as I'd peered back over to him and the others outside our gazes met.
Jimin sprang up and came over, causing Tae and Joon to look over too. I thanked Yoongi for the drink as he slid it across the counter to me and braced myself for the hug Jimin was coming at me with.
"Hey baby," He giggled as his arms slid around me. I was worried I might spill my drink, but he was so gentle.
"Hey Jiminie, what're you doing?" I snuggled into his embrace before he parted and pinched my cheek.
"Coming to get you, of course. Wanna come sit outside with us?" He asked.
"Hey! You can't just steal her away like that," Jin protested. Hoseok just laughed as Jimin ignored Jin and took my hand and lead me outside. Before being completely pulled out of earshot, I heard Jin groan in defeat and then Yoongi tell Hoseok to take some trays of food outside to begin the bbq.
Tae had moved over to make room between him and Jimin upon seeing us coming over.
"Hey pretty lady, how's your day been?" Joon asked, his gaze shifting to me, smile settling.
"Hey, it's been alright. Better now that I'm here with you guys though," I laughed and Joon smiled and nodded his head along, as though pleased to hear it. On the middle couch, I plopped down, Joon sat to our right, and another empty couch was on the left. The fire in front of us cracked. There was a small table with some plates of meat waiting to be put on the grill which was over the fire. It was the coziest little backyard barbecue set up I'd ever seen.
Tae quietly greeted me, slipping me a small smile before Hoseok came out. He was holding a salad and a plate with a pair of tongs and scissors which were probably for the bbq.
"Yoongi said to grill the meat," Hoseok said as he propped everything down on the side table. Jimin moved to help him get started and Jin had strolled out and took a seat on the couch on the right beside Joon, taking a big swig of his beer.
We made some small talk about how they were finding the new place while we waited for Yoongi and Jungkook to join us. Jin mentioned he and Yoongi were rooming together, which he seemed to be fairly content with.
Hoseok jokingly complained about Jimin's messiness as his new roomy which caused Jimin to laugh and playfully hit him with the free hand he wasn't grilling meat with.
Tae snorted, joining in to tease Jimin about his messy habits or leaving his underwear lying around. Joon then countered, shutting Tae up immediately as he mentioned Tae staying awake until 4am playing games.
I just laughed at their back and forth, knowing this sounded exactly like them as I sipped on my drink. Jungkook hit the mark on the Umeshu for me. The sweetness of the liquor was perfect.
Shortly after, Yoongi and Jungkook came out and joined us, bringing the vegetables and some soup, which paired perfectly with the meat. Yoongi slipped into the free space beside me. So instead, after we all plated up, Jimin settled on the empty couch with Hoseok.
As I watched everyone talking and eating, it was such a comforting feeling.
"Your glass is empty. Do you want another?" Tae asked as he noticed I'd finished. When I nodded, he got up to grab the bottle from inside. "How's the meat?" Yoongi asked, glancing at me with a small smile on his face.
"Delicious, so is the soup," I beamed. That's when Jungkook took Tae's spot on my other side, grinning.
"I made the soup," he commented, looking pleased with the fact I'd just complimented it and Yoongi laughed. Tae came back with the bottle and poured me another before being pulled down by Jimin to join him. I giggled as I watched Tae ask Jimin to feed him, which Jimin agreed to do.
After we finished eating, Joon handed out a few rounds of more beers. The fire's light in the night's dark glowed around us. Jin and Joon were talking about something, but I couldn't make it out.
Hoseok warmed his hands over the crackling of the fire. Jimin and Tae started mucking around and throwing things into the fire and giggling, which made the flames bounce around.
Yoongi, Jungkook and I watched in amusement as Hoseok freaked out and jumped back. I felt Yoongi's arm rest over my shoulder and pull me in and Jungkook lay his head down on my lap. My hands moved to play with the softness of his hair. His gaze moved to the crackling of the fire. It was enchanting.
By now I'd had quite a few drinks and my weariness was taking over, so I let myself melt into the comfort of Yoongi and Jungkook. It's like time slowed down as I lay there and rest my head back on Yoongi's shoulder.
Was this true happiness? Was this one of the most beautiful moments in my life? It felt like it. Truly. Being here, all my problems melt away in the flames before me.
I internally groaned as the urge to pee overcame me. I was so comfortable that I didn't want to move. But, I gave in and forced myself out of my cosy spot. Jin glanced up and asked where I was heading. When I said bathroom, he gave a snort and got back to drinking.
I tipsily stumbled back into the house and headed to the hallway. I wasn't sure where the bathroom was because I hadn't used it before and accidentally ended up in a bedroom.
As I walked in and realised it wasn't the toilet, I went to leave but, a notebook on a set of drawers caught my eye.
"Is that..?" I mumbled to myself. It looked so familiar. As I got closer and picked it up, I realised it was the diary I'd lost back when I first started the semester. What was it doing here?
I was about to open it when a glint of something made me look down. I cracked the draw open a tiny bit and I could see metal. There's no way.. could it be?
It glinted just like the thing I'd seen Jin with that night. My curiosity peaked, so I opened the draw more.
A gun.
My mind became blank.
Was this real? No. No way. I'm drunk. This isn't real.
My heart picked up pace as I stared at the barrel, the handle, the.. this is a gun.
What the fuck. No. This is a lie. This isn't real.
As my fingers ran over the cold, hard indents, my stomach sank to the depths of hell.
My world came crashing down. Everything I'd believed was a lie. Why did they have a gun? Someone had shot me with a gun in the head and nearly killed me.
Were they the ones that shot me? It's hard to breathe, I can't breathe. A creak of the door pulls me out of my trance. Fuck. Jin is staring at me. He's right there.
"Jia, this isn't the toilet" His presence alone weighs heavy on my chest, like a ton of bricks had just fallen on me. I can't move. Panic. I shouldn't be here. Fuck.
His eyes dart down and see the gun. I'm so fucked.
Words don't come out. Anxiety rushes over me. Fuck, oh my god. I need to run.
His eyes darken. I screamed in a split second. Jin slaps a hand over my mouth and locks me into a hold from behind.
I struggle against his firm grip, trying to get away, but I can't breathe. I'm heaving, but I feel lightheaded. I'm having a fucking panic attack.
"Shh. It's okay Jia, just relax" Jin tried to calm me down, but how the fuck can I. There's a GUN in his drawer. Those were the last words. His voice echoes in my mind.
Everything turns dark.
_______________________
As I stir, I feel woozy. My chest hurts, like a rock has crushed it. I wince as my head pounds. I'm still in the room, but alone. The door is closed but I can hear hushed arguing on the other side.
What happened? Did I pass out? All I remember is panicking and not being able to breathe.
The gun. Did I imagine it? No.
If I did, Jin wouldn't have acted like that. I carefully got up off the bed and went to press my ear to the door. Hoping to not make any noise to give away that I was awake. Hope they wouldn't come in. Who knew what they were capable of?
This entire time, they'd pretended to be close to me. No.
They were close to me? No. I don't know.
My chest tightens painfully. But I push past the pain, push past the panic resurfacing and try to make out their voices.
Try to figure out what the fuck is going on.
"What the fuck are we meant to do now?!"
"Seriously, who thought it was a clever idea to keep shit here at the house"
"Enough of that. Throwing blame will not fix this right now."
"Look, we can't let her go. Not now that she's seen that gun and doesn't have any memories"
"So what? We just keep her locked up here? You can't be for real"
Oh, my god.. I need to get out of here. They are scaring me. I'm confused. I do not know what is happening.
I look around frantically and see my notebook on the floor, so I pick it up. It's still dark outside the window. Wait. A rushed, desperate idea came to me as I looked at the window, so I went over.
Half of me didn't believe it was actually unlocked. So when it slid upward, I felt my stomach flutter with adrenaline. I'm doing this. I have to do this. I need to get away.
The night air hits my face as I shakily fumble out the window. My legs are shaking with fear. I can barely walk, but I don't have time for that. I need to run. Run as far away as possible.
So like that, I run for my life out into the dead of night. A million thoughts flashed through my mind. The fire.
Did they set that?
The gun? Did they shoot me?
The dress. Did they rape me?
No. They were wolves disguised in sheep's clothing the entire time. I feel sick to my stomach.
My cheeks are icy cold as the breeze hits where my tears are falling fast. I need help; I don't have anyone. They were my everything.
Out of all the things that were rushing through my mind, I caught one. The detective. I could call him. He's the ONLY person I can think of.. the police. I'm overwhelmed when I realise my phone is still in my pocket.
My hands shake as I dial the saved number on my phone, but it dials out. I won't be able to stay out here on the street much longer. I'm sure it won't be long before they notice I'm missing. What if they come looking for me? I'd be totally fucked.
As though it's a sign from a higher power, the next corner I turn, I see the police station.
Without a second thought, I rush across the road, take a deep breath, and walk in. The two police officers who were laughing about something straighten up as they see me approach the front desk.
I feel so frazzled, but I take another deep breath and swallow hard, trying to get my mind straight before talking.
"I'm looking for detective Kim. From the Arson department. Is he here?" My voice is weak. They both exchange a look of confusion.
"Sorry, but there's no detective by that name here. But is there something we can help you with?" One of them asked, but I could tell they were looking at me apprehensively. I hesitated. Maybe I was at the wrong precinct? No. This was the one he had on his card.
I gave a fake smile before saying it was alright and leaving. I just, in the moment, something didn't feel right. I didn't know who I could trust. My confusion was peaking, my chest hurt, my head was thumping.
My phone rang. It was detective Kim, so I answered.
"Hello? Miss Park, is that you?" He asked. I hesitated,
"Ye- yes… it's me. I.." I didn't know what to say, but he cut in.
"Are you alright? You don't sound it. Did something happen? Where are you right now?" He hit me with a barrage of questions, and my head thumped hard. I couldn't take this anymore. It was too overwhelming.
"I'm a-at th- the police station. I th- think I know who bu- burnt down my house.." I said. Everything was going fuzzy, like static rippling dangerously, threatening to swallow me whole. But I pushed myself to go on. "The- they had a gu- gun"
"Just wait there, I'll be there soon" I heard his voice through the speaker but I couldn't concentrate, my head was clouded. I was seeing stars, my conscience threatening to leave me.
And it did. My knees hit the pavement as I collapsed at the side of the police station. The night was so silent. So dark. But lights and stars danced before me and then there was nothing after being swallowed by the twilight.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone