Chapter 3: Truth Hurts
I knew she was right, I was young and I had no right whatsoever to talk about Nate or his situation.
The kitchen light was very dim and I could barely make out anything.
I stood at the door for a while to let my eyes adjust to the darkness.
Alicia was there.
'Can't sleep?' Her voice was cracked. Had she been crying?
It was very hard to believe that she was crying. I always thought she had no emotions because she never wanted to interact with mum or me.
She always kept to herself especially now that Nate was not home.
'Yes.' After all she said earlier, I did not think she deserved any single reply from me but if I ignored her, it was only going to hurt me more.
'I know you miss him Kassy, I do too, but we all want what's best for him.' Her lean body fell perfectly against the fridge.
She looked older in the dark. Her off white cardigan stuck to her skin firmly, almost like it was attached to her.
'You don't.' I knew it was pointless arguing now. She was not up for it and neither was I.
'We don't have to fight over this. He's not even here.' She let out a small laugh.
A sarcastic laugh. It sounded like mockery. She was trying to tell me I could not fight her. I sucked my teeth.
'Did he tell you about David the Lord?' I looked at her fold her arms.
She sighed and broke eye contact. She knew about him!
I sucked my teeth again and made my way to the table.
She was only inches away from me now. I saw her face more clearly.
She had been crying. Was it because she consciously caused her brother pain or because she actually missed him?
I was lost in my own thoughts until I felt her hand on my shoulder.
'You're eighteen Kassy, that should not be your problem. Nate is paying for his crimes. You should not pity him. I do not pity him.' She squeezed my shoulder gently. Her fingers were cold.
'He's my brother, no matter his crime, I still love him!' There was no need to yell but I did it anyway.
'I love him too, but he deserves everything he's getting right now. He raped me Kass!' Her cracked voice faded away. She was crying.
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Nate was first arrested when I was thirteen.
I barely knew what was going on in my life so I hardly bothered about his situation. Mum had told me he was going to be back shortly and he did come back.
I remember how she shouted at the top of her voice one night telling him she had spent all her savings just to pay for his crime. I thought he stole from a convenience store and I never thought to find out what really happened.
Two years later, a group of policemen came to our house and took him away. Mum went for countless court hearings and at a point, Alicia went on her behalf.
When he got his fifteen year sentence, mum told me he was a chronic rapist.
She told me not to cry because he did not deserve my tears but what she never told me was that Alicia was one of his victims.
My jaw dropped. All along, I had thought their relationship was one of siblings who could not get enough of each other, but I was wrong. I felt very cold.
'Alicia?' She kept sobbing and words failed me.
I could only call her name out in a question-like manner. I hugged her. I was embarrassed. I was fighting for a monster.
'I'm sorry. I never knew about this.' I felt her weight on me.
She was small and it felt as though I was choking her with my presence.
I wanted to leave. I wanted to call Nate and tell him how much hate I had for him.
I wanted to watch him get beat up by David. All the while his crime never dawned on me how bad it was until that moment.
I felt dirty. I could only imagine how foolish I looked when I blurted out the words 'coping mechanism.'
I felt a huge urge to beat Nate up but I stood there, holding my older sister in my arms as she cried like a baby.
She cried for a while and then pushed herself away from me slowly.
'Do you want a tissue?' I asked.
Her eyes were red and her nose was running.
'Yeah.' Her voice was not cracked anymore. It sounded very soft.
I stretched to get the roll of tissue from the top of the fridge and handed it over to her.
'Thanks.' She murmured. I never thought Alicia and I could ever be in that situation. I never even knew she cried.
My sister whom I thought was high and mighty was actually someone who just wanted a shoulder to cry on.
'When did it happen?' I wanted to ask why no one told me but it was too insensitive.
'About two months before he got arrested the last time.' She looked up at me as though trying to make out my expression but I had a blank expression on.
He raped her around the time mum and I went for a relative's burial.
Alicia had just come home for thanksgiving and she declined the offer to follow us while Nate said he had 'stuff' to do.
Who knew the 'stuff' he had to do was rape his own sister.
'I'm sorry Alicia, I had no idea.' It was too late now. There was no point apologizing because the deed had already been done.
'Mum made us swear not to tell you. She said she did not want you seeing him in a different light.' Mum was always like that.
Always preaching about love and bonding. Even when dad left, she lied to us for months saying he traveled for work.
Nate and Alicia found out he left years before I did because she did not want me to hate him.
I hugged Alicia again. I could not imagine being in her shoes. I hated Nate at that moment. I hated him more than I hated dad.
Gifts
-- Gift
received Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone