Chapter 48: A Suicidal Childhood Sweetheart 07
It was dark. The quiet place was like an endless void, with nothing to be seen nor heard. Neither were felt yet Gu Han didn't feel any panic.
However, the moment he opened his eyes, he saw someone else beside him. In there, was a young man, around eighteen of age. It isn't hard to admit, but the young man is very beautiful. The young man in front of him shifted, facing his way revealing familiar beauty marks on his lower left eye and the side of his chin.
The young man also had silvery white soft hair and fair white skin. There were visible marks on his collarbone the moment the quilt slid off of his shoulder.
'Gu Han' reached out a hand, noticing that his arms were suddenly of an adult's. The hand reached out to the boy's tender cheek, rubbing it carefully before the thumb slid down to touch the soft pink lips. The moment he opened his eyes, Gu Han finally confirmed the familiarity.
The beautiful greyish-purple eyes that were as light as gems revealed themselves from under his lids. This... is Xiu Lin as a young adult? Gu Han was stunned. Amazed as he stared at the beauty before him.
The moment their eyes met, the young man's face turns red and pulled the quilt back up to hide half his face then frowning at 'Gu Han' with a complaining expression on his face, as if aggrieved with something the person in front of him has done. But remembering the traces on the young man's delicate shoulders, he already had a clue of what they might have made.
However, while staring at this precious little brother, in 'Gu Han's' heart, this frowning expression was cute... it is so lovely, and tempting.
He slowly inches closer to the young man, met his lips, and indulged the taste of flavor from his tongue. The sensual attraction was too realistic as if he was on fire, grabbing the thin waist with his strong arms, pulling it close to his skin feeling his cold soft flesh. The sound was very lewd and the touches were inviting. The young man cooperated very well and in every touch, he would flinch sensitively, trembling, and then moaning and panting.
"Baby, I love you." The voice was very masculine as if it belonged to an adult Gu Han. Then they kissed again. The hands caressed his tender skin without restraint, feeling every part of his delicacy.
He watched as the young man under his touch blushed, looking at him with tears in his eyes, panting hard with such parted lips, showing his pink tongue, and hugging him by the shoulders with a loving look. Such a face can pull him back with excitement, and such a lovely person was just perfect for him.
He witnessed himself through these waves of love changing positions every passing time but each of those didn't bore him at all, in fact, put him to the wonderful spell of pleasurable ecstasy. The young man would let out a mellow cry, beg for mercy when the man was too rough or beg for more when he was deeply stimulated. But no matter which, everything he did only made the partner love him even more, indulge and bully him everytime they make love.
'Gu Han' was close to the peak. He raced though the tides while the young man under him cried again, clutching the sheets or restlessly stretched out his neck, showing a beautiful curvature of his naked body.
But the next moment, everything became another void. Gu Han fell off the bed from shock as he panted, eyes wide open.
A dream.
A wet dream?
A fucking dream!
He was fucking someone.
He was fucking his baby Xiu Lin again!
Yes, again.
Gu Han sat up and looked at the bed. There, he saw the same face, but was younger than that in his dream. The baby's eyes were closed just like how the dream started so clearly. Now that he was in his early teens, that baby is no longer just the four year old child he used to treat as a little brother.
Now that Xiu Lin was in the starting line of adolescence, the image of the boy developed a bit, although young, he could see the features of the young man in his dirty dream. So beautiful and tempting.
What the hell? Gu Han's face flushed in embarrassment and guilt. Did he just think about Xiu Lin that way? Has he always been looking at his little brother differently?
He covered his face with both hands, groaning. No, maybe it's the effect of puberty seeing as he is already seventeen! Yes, that's it! Gu Han's face brightened. It is puberty!
Just like that, years had gone through the trenches.
Xiu Lin was now a fully pampered 12-year-old baby. Because of the incident on his first day of attending school, Gu Han made a decision of having him home-schooled while attending therapy.
Because of this, the progress of Xiu Lin's psychology is slowly getting better. But the boy still hasn't said a word by then, only relying on his writing board or sign language in response.
The room was still shared with Gu Han up until now. Xiu Lin's room was never used at all but he also didn't mind. He like Gu Han's care so he was spoiled to join him in one bed eversince he got into the Gu house.
But as years passed between two boys sleeping on the same bed only gave Gu Han dreams. Although he didn't hate it, it also made him guilty. Although guilty, he was always looking forward to relive it.
He couldn't even forget every single one as if it was part of his memories. What's odd in his dreams, was that it consisted of different scenarios. Because it revolved around this young man. Xiu Lin seemed to have different professions.
Sometimes he wore something professional. An expensive suit, buttoned up. He looked very elegantly beautiful and obediently cute. He would find him most of the time in the sofa, leaning his back in the office with a bored and sleepy look, like a soft domestic cat basking in the sun.
There was also a scene where he'd look like a scientist. Always in white lab coat. That guy also liked to sleep.
Also wore an ancient attire where his hair were longer, tied in a silver hairpiece. He would read him scriptures and teach him calligraphy.
There are a lot more. Mixing memories to others. But each of them were vivid as if they had been there before.
Because of this, Gu Han started having mixed emotions. He would looked at Xiu Lin until he wakes up and smiles.
Is it possible that they've been entangled for so many lifetimes? Times where they even became lovers?
Well, whatever that was, Gu Han always felt like he and Xiu Lin always have some type of special connection. A connection he always made sure to have between them, making sure that Xiu Lin can never ever part with him no matter what.
Gu Han sat back on the side of the bed, caressed the boy's soft hair, gently running his fingers through his hair, his pools turning darker. Hiding the desire to keep the baby's dependence to him, holding his trust, having his love, his body, and never letting him belong to someone else but his.
Although there was a spark of guilt, he knew he couldn't stop himself from thinking that Xiu Lin was his. The moment he went back in time, and confirming it the moment he recieved such dreams.
If these are not miracles to let him know who will complete him, then what is it?
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Al_Lishiang
Al_Lishiang What is it?
Gu Han, dear. It's hidden desire. lol
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